Recommended Reading for new subs

[LovingDom86]

Greetings A/all. I am stepping out of my lurk-zone in the hopes of getting some educated input on the topic. So often an interested yet inexperienced party will come along and among other things, seek some real information on all things BDSM, specifically D/s; the questions can be limitless (which I love discussing personally) but I also find a great value in directing them to a piece of writing NOT from my own mind which they can read, immerse themselves in, and be free to form their own thoughts and feelings about at their own leisure. Of course, avid discussion would ensue afterwards

And so I am wondering if A/anyone has specific "favorites" in this realm; I wasn't certain whether to post here or in one of the "Story Discussion" etc forums, but I am certain my fellow BDSMers would be more helpful. A vote of confidence, no doubt!

One I have come across, and absolutely adore to no end is Sir Nathan's "Culture Shock" (here) which I think should absolutely be required reading for new and seriously interested subs. Yet I will admit having a great deal of trouble finding well written stories of similar stature that I could add to the "canon" or reading list to recommend to interested parties.

Does A/anyone else have recommended readings of a similar vein? Any others I should know about in the interest of passing them on to "newbies"?

Thank you sincerely for your time and help! Your thoughts and kindness is genuinely appreciated

LD

 

[JMohegan]

Greetings A/all. I am stepping out of my lurk-zone in the hopes of getting some educated input on the topic.

If you've been lurking, then you should know that the cultural open-mindedness of most people here does not extend to those who employ the alternative caps thing (Y/you, A/all).

Personally I don't have a problem with it; I'm just giving you a heads-up.

 

[LovingDom86]

If you've been lurking, then you should know that the cultural open-mindedness of most people here does not extend to those who employ the alternative caps thing (Y/you, A/all).

Personally I don't have a problem with it; I'm just giving you a heads-up.

Then my apologies; was meant merely as a gesture of respect to incorporate both PYLs and pyls and not lump everyone into the same pool. I will be sure to employ other terms in the future.

Thank you

 

[JMohegan]

One I have come across, and absolutely adore to no end is Sir Nathan's "Culture Shock" (here) which I think should absolutely be required reading for new and seriously interested subs. Yet I will admit having a great deal of trouble finding well written stories of similar stature that I could add to the "canon" or reading list to recommend to interested parties.

Does A/anyone else have recommended readings of a similar vein? Any others I should know about in the interest of passing them on to "newbies"?

Thank you sincerely for your time and help! Your thoughts and kindness is genuinely appreciated

LD

The intro to Nathan's piece states the point as addressing: "How does a submissive actually get from online to real life in the world of D/s and BDSM?"

I haven't read beyond that intro, but find myself wondering if you meant to suggest this is required reading for *all* "new and seriously interested subs" - or just those who've been into the online thing and are now considering a switch.

What do you consider to be Nathan's most salient points?

My advice to those newly interested in submission would be to seek out friends in the kinky world. Build friendships based on mutual interests (tennis, cooking, hiking, whatever) and then lean on those friends for advice and support, the same way people do in the non-kinky world.

 

[JMohegan]

Then my apologies; was meant merely as a gesture of respect to incorporate both PYLs and pyls and not lump everyone into the same pool. I will be sure to employ other terms in the future.

Thank you

You're welcome.

No need to apologize. I understood that the point was to demonstrate respect.

 

[LovingDom86]

The intro to Nathan's piece states the point as addressing: "How does a submissive actually get from online to real life in the world of D/s and BDSM?"

I haven't read beyond that intro, but find myself wondering if you meant to suggest this is required reading for *all* "new and seriously interested subs" - or just those who've been into the online thing and are now considering a switch.

What do you consider to be Nathan's most salient points?

My advice to those newly interested in submission would be to seek out friends in the kinky world. Build friendships based on mutual interests (tennis, cooking, hiking, whatever) and then lean on those friends for advice and support, the same way people do in the non-kinky world.

Yes, well it's actually a VERY long and incredibly well written story that mostly deals with the psychological aspects of discovering this new world and how a once-vanilla young girl is able to accept and explore her submissiveness. It's actually not meant as a manual for setting up a first meeting, but a very real and approachable picture of one fictional young sub's journey there. Very easy to emotionally associate with, which is one of the things I love the most about it.

And yes, absolutely, there must be many many other aspects of discovery, and talking to people in the community is absolutely a vital part, but here I am specifically looking for stories, even blogs perhaps, that would be both educational, informative, and emotionally reassuring for a would-be submissive to read and hopefully find comfort and reassurance along with some real knowledge.

So, any takers?

Thanks again,
LD

 

[FurryFury]

I tried to read it once.

 

[JMohegan]

Yes, well it's actually a VERY long and incredibly well written story that mostly deals with the psychological aspects of discovering this new world and how a once-vanilla young girl is able to accept and explore her submissiveness. It's actually not meant as a manual for setting up a first meeting, but a very real and approachable picture of one fictional young sub's journey there. Very easy to emotionally associate with, which is one of the things I love the most about it.

And yes, absolutely, there must be many many other aspects of discovery, and talking to people in the community is absolutely a vital part, but here I am specifically looking for stories, even blogs perhaps, that would be both educational, informative, and emotionally reassuring for a would-be submissive to read and hopefully find comfort and reassurance along with some real knowledge.

So, any takers?

Thanks again,
LD

The usual advice given to newcomers here looks like this or this or this. There's a pattern, as you can tell! Perhaps some of the Library fans will show up and recommend specific elements that they find useful.

My advice to those on the D side looks like this, and my advice to an s in a new relationship would be to encourage his/her D to do just that.

Thanks for the explanation on Nathan's piece.

 

[sinnocence]

I read "Culture Shock" a couple months ago and very much enjoyed it. I'd have to read it again to pick up the more important points though since they've slipped my mind. But yes, I believe it is a good example of things to expect and what precautions should be taken when going from online to a real life meeting.

 

[LovingDom86]

I read "Culture Shock" a couple months ago and very much enjoyed it. I'd have to read it again to pick up the more important points though since they've slipped my mind. But yes, I believe it is a good example of things to expect and what precautions should be taken when going from online to a real life meeting.

Yes, but so much more! What I love about it is how it portrays a very "normal" human, approachable, identifiable-with young girl and shows that what she feels is ok! A very warm and welcome beacon of guidance for a newbie entering into this new, strange, and often scary world.

And yes, yes, I know about the library too Great source of information, even though last I checked it's all from 2002 But yes, all of this is certainly in place; what I perhaps needed to be more specific on is that I'm looking for written literature to enhance and deepen an already healthy diet, though I very much appreciate the precautions to talk, check out the library, etc; all taken care of

Thanks again,
LD

 

[lilylicious]

I read Culture Shock and enjoyed it a lot. Though many may think that the stories here are primarily masturbation material, this is one of those stories that someone could learn a lot from. Actually of all the stories I've read on here, this is the only one that I specifically recall learning more than just techniques from. Not that I haven't REALLY enjoyed the others I've read.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I find it interesting that the OP seems to think that pyls should have required reading but that PYLs should not. Surely what is good for the goose is good for the gander and there are a lot of clueless pseudo-doms rattling around sites like this one. I don't like the notion that pyls require more knowledge or instruction than PYLs. A clueless sub is a pain in the ass, a clueless dom is potentially lethal.

 

[LovingDom86]

I find it interesting that the OP seems to think that pyls should have required reading but that PYLs should not. Surely what is good for the goose is good for the gander and there are a lot of clueless pseudo-doms rattling around sites like this one. I don't like the notion that pyls require more knowledge or instruction than PYLs. A clueless sub is a pain in the ass, a clueless dom is potentially lethal.

Not at all, in the slightest, and I'm not sure where you got that idea.

I am asking for a very specific and small PART of the whole; a brand of cereal to incorporate into a well balanced breakfast, and in no way implying any completeness of structure with my specific inquiry. I have found myself defending my position more often than discussing possible stories as the post's intent here. Of course I think PYLs should have (perhaps MUCH more) reading etc; I am not asking for examples of that here. There is no need to attack.

Thanks to those who have provided valuable input/affirmation on the story I have suggested. I will continue to browse around with open eyes, as I think this can serve a valuable part of development.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Not at all, in the slightest, and I'm not sure where you got that idea.

I am asking for a very specific and small PART of the whole; a brand of cereal to incorporate into a well balanced breakfast, and in no way implying any completeness of structure with my specific inquiry. I have found myself defending my position more often than discussing possible stories as the post's intent here. Of course I think PYLs should have (perhaps MUCH more) reading etc; I am not asking for examples of that here. There is no need to attack.

Thanks to those who have provided valuable input/affirmation on the story I have suggested. I will continue to browse around with open eyes, as I think this can serve a valuable part of development.

On reflection, my post read as more combative than I intended. Serves me right for posting an unedited thought I suppose. I apologise if you felt I was attacking your thread.

I found The New Bottoming Book and The Loving Dominant useful reads.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think there aer 2 things which are always important to remember when directing 'new subs' or new Doms for that matter, to suitable and recommended reading material of the fictional variety. One is that it is often difficult for them to know the differences between fiction and reality based expectations, and often the authors have a problem in that area to, especially if they do not have experience themselves, or their experiences is skewed by their personal opinion of what goes etc.

Second thing is that though someone may write a BDSM story here or elsewhere, or even non-fiction piece on BDSM and related areas, does not necessarily mean they are well versed in what is good for anyone else, and/or appropriate to expect or engage in. There are even a few who have written in this genre for Lit who have come here asking us to either provide them with a storyline, give them advice on what would be expected or realistic in particular situations, educate them in terms of what it is we do/live, provide them with a sounding board type feedback....and even some who have never been here, and are not and never have been into BDSM etc. While that is not wrong, some people who are talented as a writer can write in a way about a particular subject which can give an impression they know what they are talking about from experience when in reality they do not, but have a gift for writing....that is also not wrong, but needs remembering when recommending fiction as a reference point for real life.

Catalina

 

[graceanne]

Then my apologies; was meant merely as a gesture of respect to incorporate both PYLs and pyls and not lump everyone into the same pool. I will be sure to employ other terms in the future.

Thank you

Don't worry about it. We have several grammar nazi's on this thread, and the A/all Y/your W/we thing bugs the CRAP out of them.

 

[JMohegan]

I think there aer 2 things which are always important to remember when directing 'new subs' or new Doms for that matter, to suitable and recommended reading material of the fictional variety. One is that it is often difficult for them to know the differences between fiction and reality based expectations, and often the authors have a problem in that area to, especially if they do not have experience themselves, or their experiences is skewed by their personal opinion of what goes etc.

Second thing is that though someone may write a BDSM story here or elsewhere, or even non-fiction piece on BDSM and related areas, does not necessarily mean they are well versed in what is good for anyone else, and/or appropriate to expect or engage in. There are even a few who have written in this genre for Lit who have come here asking us to either provide them with a storyline, give them advice on what would be expected or realistic in particular situations, educate them in terms of what it is we do/live, provide them with a sounding board type feedback....and even some who have never been here, and are not and never have been into BDSM etc. While that is not wrong, some people who are talented as a writer can write in a way about a particular subject which can give an impression they know what they are talking about from experience when in reality they do not, but have a gift for writing....that is also not wrong, but needs remembering when recommending fiction as a reference point for real life.

Catalina

Very well said.

 

[satindesire]

I find it interesting that the OP seems to think that pyls should have required reading but that PYLs should not. Surely what is good for the goose is good for the gander and there are a lot of clueless pseudo-doms rattling around sites like this one. I don't like the notion that pyls require more knowledge or instruction than PYLs. A clueless sub is a pain in the ass, a clueless dom is potentially lethal.

God, so true!

Don't worry about it. We have several grammar nazi's on this thread, and the A/all Y/your W/we thing bugs the CRAP out of them.

*chuckle*

 

[WriterDom]

On reflection, my post read as more combative than I intended. Serves me right for posting an unedited thought I suppose. I apologise if you felt I was attacking your thread.

I found The New Bottoming Book and The Loving Dominant useful reads.

Both the bottoming book and the topping book are good reads.

 

[rinka]

A story I enjoyed when I first started reading here is Born to Serve by Iraussieguy

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=236902&page=1

It's a creative story that gives examples of different types of play. It also addresses limits and contains communcation about the activities.

 

[LovingDom86]

On reflection, my post read as more combative than I intended. Serves me right for posting an unedited thought I suppose. I apologise if you felt I was attacking your thread.

I found The New Bottoming Book and The Loving Dominant useful reads.

Will be sure to check out "The New Bottoming Book", thank you!

I know the latter quite well

Is there any such thing readily available and free of charge/shipping on lit? Or another community site?

Thank you for the recommendations!

 

[LovingDom86]

A story I enjoyed when I first started reading here is Born to Serve by Iraussieguy

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=236902&page=1

It's a creative story that gives examples of different types of play. It also addresses limits and contains communcation about the activities.

Sounds like an interesting and valuable read, thank you!

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Will be sure to check out "The New Bottoming Book", thank you!

I know the latter quite well

Is there any such thing readily available and free of charge/shipping on lit? Or another community site?

Thank you for the recommendations!

I don't know about that but amazon usually has used copies that are cheap enough to make the shipping charges less onerous.