REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS HARD TO LEARN

[Mickie]

Since I'm stuck in the middle of a sentence on my current masterpiece, I thought I'd give you another funny to look at.

Mickie

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) The accountant at the music store records records of the records.

 

[cymbidia]

Yikes!
It *is* a difficult language, isn't it?


We'll begin with box; the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox is oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, and two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose is never called meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a house full of mice;
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
The plural of man is always men,
But the plural of pan is never pen.


If I speak of a foot, and you show me two feet,
And I give you a book, would a pair be a beek?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't two booths be called beeth?


If the singular's this and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss be ever called keese?

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him;
But imagine the feminine... she, shis, and shim!

 

[Mickie]

More fun stuff!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

 

[Closet Desire]

There is order to the madness...

English is a product of all the twists and turns of history. It isn't a "pure" language because it has become a dominant language which was forged by invasions and international trade. Hence words that one might think are related are not really...having their roots in entirely different cultures. The simliarity often comes from having been assimilated verbally into a culture before anyone ever tried to commit them to writing.

It happens in other languages. For example, if you listen to a long dialog of Japanese, Russian, or even French you will eventually notice words that you recognise (the most amusing to me being "hot dog") because they have become integrated into that language.

I 'spose you could call it crazy, but it's really just a tapestry of culture, history, and life in general.

 

[Guest]

Why English is REALLY hard to learn

While homonyms and homophones and homographs make English odd at times, the real difficulty in learning to read/write English comes in our spelling patterns.

We are a mix of so many languages that our spelling patterns are "all over the map." For kids having a difficult time learning to read, it makes the task near impossible. I have taught children who speak Spanish and English with equal fluency, but--despite being in a school environment which teaches them to read in English and a neighborhood filled with signs written in English--read at a much higher level in Spanish because the pronunciations are consistent

Look at English. "Ate" is simple enough. But it sounds the same as "eight." And the same sound can be created by "ait" as in "strait" or by "aight" as in "straight." Or "air" which sounds like "err" but the sound also appears as "are" in "fare" and "ear" in "bear." While it might take a little inference from context to decide exactly which word was meant if they were all spelled with the same pattern, it would make the language much, much easier to read--and have essentialy no effect on how it is spoken.

If I were king for a day, one of my first proclamations would be that English would become a phonetic language (except for proper nouns and adjectives which should display ethnic backgrounds.) It would be a big disappointment to those of us who pride ourselves on our ability to spell such a slippery language, but it would help generations of kids to come.

 

[Closet Desire]

Interestingly enough...

The words you mention don't sound alike when spoken by most proper "English". I'm afraid that it is often American English that gets a bit muddy. I get no end of ribbing from my English partner who finds my lazy American dialect amusing...

 

[Alex De Kok]

Don't forget the old saw:

"Two nations divided by a common language" (don't know who said it)

Alex

 

[Ask For More]

It's even harder when you consider there's no set rule for pronounciation. For example, it's phoTOgraphy to you and me, but to others not well versed in the English language they have no idea which syllable to focus on!