Long-winded post ahead so get out now if you're easily bored or you hate to read.
My wife and I used to live with a friend who has known both of us for more than ten years. He actually knew her first but he and I became friends shortly before I met her and only then did the three of hang out. My point here is to make it clear that he doesn't feel loyalty toward one of us more than the other.
A few years ago he got kicked out of his house so he came to live with us and he stayed for a couple years which somehow worked out really well. He knows that we have a consensual nonconsent relationship, he's cool with it, and he's cool when in the presence of it. When I wasn't home, he was in charge. I don't know how that came about but eventually it was just understood if my wife (girlfriend at the time) steps out of line and he calls her on it, she has to obey him. Along with that I told him if it ever came down to it he could use a spatula or something on her ass, within reason. There are a lot of rules and boundaries that go along with it but the only relevant ones are that he cannot use his hand, they must both be fully clothed, and spanking is it -- no pushing around, no hitting the rest of the body, nothing else.
As I said before, they're really good friends and she's a pretty good girl, and I don't think many issues arise where he has to exert his authority. When it happens they can tell me about it if they want but as far as I'm concerned as long as it's a minor misstep and he handles it I don't care to know. In three or four years of this arrangement I've only known about two incidences, until today.
Around ten to six I left the apartment to get some takeout for the three of us. We also have a house rule: no drinking before 6pm. It goes for all of us, but was implemented because my wife and I have what some people may consider a drinking problem (not the point, I don't want to hear it). Our friend is also a pretty heavy drinker but obviously the rule doesn't apply to him unless he's in my home.
Anyway I got back to the apartment around 6:05, maybe a little earlier. My friend was in the living room waiting for me and as soon as I walked in he said "I slapped [mrs. unknooown] across the face." I asked if it was open handed and he said yes. I asked why and he said they'd gotten into an argument, she punched him (because she's a fucking child), and without thinking he slapped her. Then there was a minor scuffle (details are hard to come by), he hit her in the behind with a spoon or something, and sent her to the bedroom. I do not, under any circumstances, tolerate punching, and I can understand reacting to a punch without first thinking it through, so the slap's not a big deal. I told him as much and out of curiosity asked what the argument was about. Here he got kind of weird and said nothing important, but I pressed the issue and he said that he was going to open a beer around 5:55pm and she said he had to wait until 6 and they exchanged words and then she hit him. I was pissed but I can't beat his ass, so I was like whatever, we'll discuss it later, and we went into the kitchen. The beer was on the table; thing is, it had been poured in a glass. He never ever drinks bottled or canned beer out of a glass, only my wife does that. So I saw the beer and I asked if he wanted to give his explanation another shot and he admitted that she was the one trying to drink the beer and he was the one trying to stop her, but the rest was true.
I'm really angry for a few reasons. One, why the fuck couldn't she wait five more minutes for it to be 6pm? And two, the 6pm rule is one I'm really serious about and they both know that. Breaking it is not what I would consider a minor misstep (which they don't have to tell me about) and I would have wanted to hear about it no matter the circumstances, and I made that clear when the rule was established. I get that they're friends but he's my friend too, and it's my fucking house, and I let him live with us rent free for years AND paid for a semester of his college.
At this point what do I do? How do I know if there have been other major missteps that I haven't heard about? Should I even bother asking? Should I just forgo the whole fucking system where he's in charge when I'm not home? Because as far as I know it's been working pretty well and I like it for a number of reasons (all selfish). They have never complained about the system, even now, and I truly don't think there have been many problems but now who fucking knows.
My wife and I used to live with a friend who has known both of us for more than ten years. He actually knew her first but he and I became friends shortly before I met her and only then did the three of hang out. My point here is to make it clear that he doesn't feel loyalty toward one of us more than the other.
A few years ago he got kicked out of his house so he came to live with us and he stayed for a couple years which somehow worked out really well. He knows that we have a consensual nonconsent relationship, he's cool with it, and he's cool when in the presence of it. When I wasn't home, he was in charge. I don't know how that came about but eventually it was just understood if my wife (girlfriend at the time) steps out of line and he calls her on it, she has to obey him. Along with that I told him if it ever came down to it he could use a spatula or something on her ass, within reason. There are a lot of rules and boundaries that go along with it but the only relevant ones are that he cannot use his hand, they must both be fully clothed, and spanking is it -- no pushing around, no hitting the rest of the body, nothing else.
As I said before, they're really good friends and she's a pretty good girl, and I don't think many issues arise where he has to exert his authority. When it happens they can tell me about it if they want but as far as I'm concerned as long as it's a minor misstep and he handles it I don't care to know. In three or four years of this arrangement I've only known about two incidences, until today.
Around ten to six I left the apartment to get some takeout for the three of us. We also have a house rule: no drinking before 6pm. It goes for all of us, but was implemented because my wife and I have what some people may consider a drinking problem (not the point, I don't want to hear it). Our friend is also a pretty heavy drinker but obviously the rule doesn't apply to him unless he's in my home.
Anyway I got back to the apartment around 6:05, maybe a little earlier. My friend was in the living room waiting for me and as soon as I walked in he said "I slapped [mrs. unknooown] across the face." I asked if it was open handed and he said yes. I asked why and he said they'd gotten into an argument, she punched him (because she's a fucking child), and without thinking he slapped her. Then there was a minor scuffle (details are hard to come by), he hit her in the behind with a spoon or something, and sent her to the bedroom. I do not, under any circumstances, tolerate punching, and I can understand reacting to a punch without first thinking it through, so the slap's not a big deal. I told him as much and out of curiosity asked what the argument was about. Here he got kind of weird and said nothing important, but I pressed the issue and he said that he was going to open a beer around 5:55pm and she said he had to wait until 6 and they exchanged words and then she hit him. I was pissed but I can't beat his ass, so I was like whatever, we'll discuss it later, and we went into the kitchen. The beer was on the table; thing is, it had been poured in a glass. He never ever drinks bottled or canned beer out of a glass, only my wife does that. So I saw the beer and I asked if he wanted to give his explanation another shot and he admitted that she was the one trying to drink the beer and he was the one trying to stop her, but the rest was true.
I'm really angry for a few reasons. One, why the fuck couldn't she wait five more minutes for it to be 6pm? And two, the 6pm rule is one I'm really serious about and they both know that. Breaking it is not what I would consider a minor misstep (which they don't have to tell me about) and I would have wanted to hear about it no matter the circumstances, and I made that clear when the rule was established. I get that they're friends but he's my friend too, and it's my fucking house, and I let him live with us rent free for years AND paid for a semester of his college.
At this point what do I do? How do I know if there have been other major missteps that I haven't heard about? Should I even bother asking? Should I just forgo the whole fucking system where he's in charge when I'm not home? Because as far as I know it's been working pretty well and I like it for a number of reasons (all selfish). They have never complained about the system, even now, and I truly don't think there have been many problems but now who fucking knows.
