Realistic Motivation

[Khukuri]

I've been working on a story for some time. It's a story that will be more drawn out and more romantic in nature than straight to the action.

In this story, the main character is a young girl who is physically abused by her father throughout high school. Predictably, she meets a new boy who takes a liking to her. However, I want the story to be somewhat realistic. I don't want the male character to be too perfect, which seems to be the problem so far.

I have their initial meeting portrayed as being awkward, which is in keeping with high school dialog. I do not have a reasonable explanation for a new student taking an interest in an apparent outcast. Especially a male student.

I've talked with a few friends and they've suggested that perhaps the boy is drawn to the girl because he's also damaged goods and can sympathize. Other friends have suggested that the boy is kind-hearted and genuinely wants to help, or was initially drawn to her physically.

What is a more realistic approach to explaining the boy's interest in the main character?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

GOOGLE 'TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS' "BERNE" AND 'SCRIPTS'

'People build their lives around certain favorite games which, with their repetitive toxic outcomes, promote dysfunctional, life-long scripts. Scripts are based on early-life decisions, made by the originally OK child. These decisions which dictate people's actions throughout life always represent the relinquishing of the child's Okness. They determine the dysfunctional roles (Rescuer, Persecutor, Victim) which people fall upon throughout life unless they are changed or "redecided," or as Berne put it unless the person "closes down the show and puts on a new (aware, autonomous, intimate, in short OK) one on the road."

SCRIPTS WILL GIVE YOU A GOOD IDEA OF HOW PEOPLE END UP TOGETHER. IT EXPLAINS HOW PEOPLE FIND EACH OTHER.

 

[emap]

People are fickle. No seriously, the scripts James points out while accurate also allow for a change, that is because what someone finds hot, delicious so forth one day the next they may not stand.

People change their opinion on a moments notice, usually going back and forth a few times before picking one and staying with it.

Even more pronounced in High School, so to really be realistic, you want to change his reason for liking her. Not drastically mind you, but the main reason should change. For instance, he is drawn to her eyes to start with, then her breasts, then her hair then her hips and so forth.

Oh and silly question to follow. Do you not remember High School?

 

[Darkniciad]

First, one big problem you'll need to make sure you address if you're submitting this to Lit. The mentions of High School are going to trigger a red-flag with the editors that approve submissions. You're going to need to make sure that you set it in stone that any characters involved in sex are at least 18 years old at the time to meet Lit guidelines. This can be something as simple as a "everyone is 18" notification at the beginning of the story, or worked into the narrative.

On to the motivation: If the guy is an outcast, he's probably shy, and that alone gives him some common ground with a woman pulling away because of the abuse she's suffered. It does also present the problem that the two of them are going to push each other away, however. On the other hand, that provides a perfect element of conflict to advance the story as they're thrown together by happenstance, unconscious desire, and eventually actively seeking each other out. He's probably going to be inexperienced, and she's probably going to have issues with trusting men because of the abuse she's suffered at her father's hands. Once again, more trials and tribulations to make the eventual "click" when they get it all together more powerful.

Perhaps some random act of kindness to introduce the two of them? Maybe her questionable car breaks down and he just happens to be there with the right knowledge at the right time. He could even leave something behind accidently to throw them together again. Just the first little example that popped into my head ( a little less cliche than picking up her books, if not by much ) but I'm sure you see where I'm coming from. Swirl that around and see if you can find a more creative way to put them together the first time along the same lines.

His shyness will probably cause him to bolt, keeping her within her comfort zone, but leaving an impression on her at the same time. Even a heartfelt "thank you" is going to leave an impression on him, as an outcast.

Use it and abuse it, or scoff and discard it - just the first thing that popped in my head when I saw your scenario ( and don't forget about the 18+ Lit restriction for sexual activity! )

I've been working on a story for some time. It's a story that will be more drawn out and more romantic in nature than straight to the action.

In this story, the main character is a young girl who is physically abused by her father throughout high school. Predictably, she meets a new boy who takes a liking to her. However, I want the story to be somewhat realistic. I don't want the male character to be too perfect, which seems to be the problem so far.

I have their initial meeting portrayed as being awkward, which is in keeping with high school dialog. I do not have a reasonable explanation for a new student taking an interest in an apparent outcast. Especially a male student.

I've talked with a few friends and they've suggested that perhaps the boy is drawn to the girl because he's also damaged goods and can sympathize. Other friends have suggested that the boy is kind-hearted and genuinely wants to help, or was initially drawn to her physically.

What is a more realistic approach to explaining the boy's interest in the main character?

 

[Khukuri]

Thanks

Thank you for your comments, they've really helped to point me in the right direction.

I will try rewriting my story with the boy being mentally abused as well. Perhaps he'll have a life where he was expected to fix his parents' problems--more or less a caretaker or forced problem solver. Not much time to enjoy his childhood. He may relate to the main character by feeling that both have some how been robbed of the childhood they deserved.

As for me remembering high school, I do remember it, though not by choice (ugh... so glad that's over with ).

 

[Softouch911]

Make sure there are no characters who, in the time of the story, or in their memories, are under 18! For FCC-safe websites, people are born at age 18!!!

That said: I find it easiest to model my characters on real people. I begin working with them by writing character descriptions of a couple of pages or more so I know what they wear, why they go to bed when they do, what they like to think about when/if they masturbate, how they do their laundry, and what they eat for breakfast. The only way I can write about someone is to make them real in my own head first.

Then: I begin the story by putting the two characters in a situation that is unlikely and they aren't sure of how to handle.

Then: I let them write their own story.

Good luck. Have a good time.
ST

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Softtouch

There are stories on Literotica with characters much younger than 18. I found one last night.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Softtouch

There are stories on Literotica with characters much younger than 18. I found one last night.

Then you should - no,must - report them to Laurel using the report button at the end of the story. Whether we agree or not, the 18+ rule exists to ensure the site stays completely on the right side of the law.

There are too many people out there who would be only too glad to have an excuse to censor a site like this.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Okay. Its on my list of stuff to do.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Well... I believe you can have characters that are under the age of 18, they just cannot have, remember, think about or even ever have heard of sex.

Occasionally a story will slip through the cracks with under age sex or beastiality.

I recall a few years ago running across a rather nicely written story about a horse by some English woman. It's gone now.

However, I wonder is allegorical animal sex (AKA Animal Farm) would be allowed.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Jenny Jackson

Look no further than ROMEO & JULIET for underage sex.

I personally think it's psychotic to be excited about fictional anything. Like busting pervs for cybering with adult cops impersonating Lolita. The whole thing is absurd.

The excitement about books is absurd. The excitement about anime is absurd. Twenty years ago EVERYONE was leaping from bridges because bored kids drew pentagrams on their notebooks.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Jenny

Yet! And I love the irony in this, the law protects you when you do worse with real kids.

I had a case, once. A prominent MD and his girlfriend dressed his 12 year old daughter in lingerie and took pictures of her in provocative poses. Their lawyer argued it was 'art.' The court agreed but used nudity as the excuse to agree. You can buy nudist magazines featuring kids.

 

[DeeZire]

Ew. Can we get back to the subject?

How about the two highschoolers having a common interest? Like homework, or a science class pairing, or maybe they both sing in choir?

 

[emap]

Yes I agree, erotic site not a place to spout about how bad our laws are.

Anyway I suppose I should mention my first boyfriend I met in science class, we got assigned to team up for a project and well let's just say sparks flew enough we started dating.

A friend started dating a guy she met in the library during study hour. Later I slept with a guy I met in a library, he followed me to work and was a teensy persuasive.

Hmmm the last one I was not in school, though still a plausible since anybody in school tends to visit a library several times a year at least. can even lead to an older guy relationship since school library's rarely have what you want anyway.

 

[DeeZire]

...we got assigned to team up for a project and well let's just say sparks flew...

Sounds like metal shop.

 

[Penelope Street]

Can we get back to the subject?

What a great idea!

I've been working on a story for some time. It's a story that will be more drawn out and more romantic in nature than straight to the action.

In this story, the main character is a young girl who is physically abused by her father throughout high school. Predictably, she meets a new boy who takes a liking to her. However, I want the story to be somewhat realistic. I don't want the male character to be too perfect, which seems to be the problem so far.

I have their initial meeting portrayed as being awkward, which is in keeping with high school dialog. I do not have a reasonable explanation for a new student taking an interest in an apparent outcast. Especially a male student.

I've talked with a few friends and they've suggested that perhaps the boy is drawn to the girl because he's also damaged goods and can sympathize. Other friends have suggested that the boy is kind-hearted and genuinely wants to help, or was initially drawn to her physically.

What is a more realistic approach to explaining the boy's interest in the main character?

Any of the three possibilities above can be believable. The common interest theme will work too. I think the story would be stronger if he hasn't suffered something similar and has to come to terms with what she's endured without understanding it firsthand.

If he's a new student, then he doesn't have any real friends either yet, so his situation is similar to being an outcast- even if he won't remain that way for long. I don't have any problem believing he would be drawn to her simply because they're both friendless at that time.

Will a big part of the drama be when he hears a few rumors or his other friends, particularly the female ones, ask why he's hanging with her? If so, don't forget how totally vicious girls often are toward one another at this age. And others too. Backstabbing can be honed to a fine art. Honesty is totally optional.

Regarding the high school characters and Lit's eighteen rule: While the mention of high school will probably generate added scrutiny (and appropriately so!) from the approval editors, a story does not have to explicitly say the characters are eighteen if the characters are seniors.

This isn't a means of getting around the rule, it's how the rule is interpreted by the powers that be and is outlined in this sticky thread: http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=175666, entitled: Rejected story? What does it mean? What now? wherein one may find this excerpt regarding the age rule:

[The underage policy] is non-negotiable and has more to do with persons like John Ashcroft than an unrealistic view that teenagers don't have sex. A character can refer sex at an early age (eg I lost my cherry at 14), but cannot describe it.

If your story comes across as pedophilia, it will probably be rejected.

Make sure that your characters are over 18 or at least a senior in high school to fix the problem.

Of course, characters not engaged in sexual activity in any way can be of any age.

The bigger issue with the story in question may well be with how the abuse the heroine has suffered at the hands of her father is conveyed. My suggestion would be that she not say precisely when he began abusing her and especially not say what he exactly did.





P.S.
The SDC may not have been the ideal forum for this type of thread, but since I can't think of another that's a perfect fit and the current story discussion is idle pending the author's return, I've decided not to relocate it.

 

[XXplorher]

I would highly recommend you get a dick hard with a preface. All you need to do is allude to the sexual situation that’s to follow. You could go, “So there I was…” with a cock in her face or whatever – and then pull it back from that. Dudes are simple like that. And a woman will react to your proposition if you tell it to her compelling and correctly.

What you CAN’T do (on this site) is build a tale that has no sexual pulse until chapter 13.

Having said that, if you promise to the reader early that they WILL get what you said from the title? They’ll stay with you. They will wait. As long as you show progress. (Have a look at Top Stories. There is stuff on there that stays forever, and it's not much sexual. It's just good writing. That counts!)

They really will appreciate that from you.

“I do not have a reasonable explanation for a new student taking an interest in an apparent outcast. Especially a male student. “

Well then, you have no story. You better figure that out and convince yourself it’s an absolute reality before you ever begin. Otherwise? You’re not writing anything worth reading.

It’s not for you, dude. Don’t write yourself into something you’re desperate for. Why should anyone care about that other than you?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I would highly recommend you get a dick hard with a preface. All you need to do is allude to the sexual situation that’s to follow. You could go, “So there I was…” with a cock in her face or whatever – and then pull it back from that. Dudes are simple like that. And a woman will react to your proposition if you tell it to her compelling and correctly.

What you CAN’T do (on this site) is build a tale that has no sexual pulse until chapter 13.

Having said that, if you promise to the reader early that they WILL get what you said from the title? They’ll stay with you. They will wait. As long as you show progress. (Have a look at Top Stories. There is stuff on there that stays forever, and it's not much sexual. It's just good writing. That counts!)

They really will appreciate that from you.

“I do not have a reasonable explanation for a new student taking an interest in an apparent outcast. Especially a male student. “

Well then, you have no story. You better figure that out and convince yourself it’s an absolute reality before you ever begin. Otherwise? You’re not writing anything worth reading.

It’s not for you, dude. Don’t write yourself into something you’re desperate for. Why should anyone care about that other than you?

I never understood questioning a character's motivation, as an author. But I'm not the analyzing sort of author, either. I have a story series I'm playing with now, called Short Shorts, wherein my main character is a complete and total slut. She is bold about it, to the point of painfulness, and ultimately, to the point of dangerousness. Why is the guy interested in her? Because she's interesting. She's clearly wounded and covering it up and it's her frailty and her humanness is what appeals underneath that. I'm sure that's what can/will appeal about your character, too.

Now, granted, a slut is not an "outcast." There's a difference there. But they're still rather ostrasized. Why is your outcast an outcast? Is she fat? Is she shy/quiet? Is she a goth? Is she a punk? Whatever makes her individual will make her attractive.

 

[XXplorher]

(S-girl…I just love your naked ass. I could live on that forever. (Gawd that’s gewd!))

Khur – did you see how she made that character real?

I’ll tell you what…

If you’re not writing about a creation that has become real to you? And you care about where it goes. What happens to that character?

You’re just stabbing away at a keyboard. You’re not doing anything at all.

Believe in your person. Follow it. It WILL take you somewhere worth going.


Don’t understand what I’m talking about? Selena does. Hit that page and learn it.

Okay, yeah, maybe I’m sucking up. But I have a little kid on a toilet and she has an ass that’s driving me nuts. Screw me for lust… but I mean what I say. It’s hard not to scrub my face on an ass like that when I’m trying to make a point…

What were we talking about?
(Coulda sworn I already posted this)

 

[Chuck_New_York]

I don't think the guy would initially know that she is abused by her father. It sounds bad if the guy already knows, because its like he is only doing this out of pity or something. And realistically, she would keep it a secret, and be embarassed about talking about it. Otherwise, wouldn't authoritive figures already know that something is going on by now?

I believe that if this is a real life scenario, the guy would notice that she have a scar or something, and then starts to wonder who did it to her. High school students are rather proud of themselves, and don't want others to pity or embarass them if something goes wrong. Its like how fights between students are never told to parents unless if they are forced to.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I would guess that the problem is not with the guy. He may be too perfect as you say, but that can be easily fixed. Make him a drunk or cheater or anything. The real problem is with the girl.

If she were abused, she would be stand-offish, unable to commit, something like that. I would concentrate on the girl's problems and let the guy act like every other horny guy.

Just my thoughts.

JJ

 

[FaustARP]

The focus shouldn't be the guy.

Abused girls often can't differentiate between sexual attention and love. In reality, this girl would be overly flirty and sexual, and get a lot of attention because of it. I think in reality, this girl would be attracted to an older male of at least 5 years, who has some irresponsible character flaws.

 

[Peregrinator]

Riles

 

[Caitano]

Well , if the male interest is not supposed to be perfect for her (for whatever reason), there are a sizable number of high school kids who see something in a girl, but it's basically a trophy thing.

 

[Emerald_Dragon]

I've been working on a story for some time. It's a story that will be more drawn out and more romantic in nature than straight to the action.

In this story, the main character is a young girl who is physically abused by her father throughout high school. Predictably, she meets a new boy who takes a liking to her. However, I want the story to be somewhat realistic. I don't want the male character to be too perfect, which seems to be the problem so far.

I have their initial meeting portrayed as being awkward, which is in keeping with high school dialog. I do not have a reasonable explanation for a new student taking an interest in an apparent outcast. Especially a male student.

I've talked with a few friends and they've suggested that perhaps the boy is drawn to the girl because he's also damaged goods and can sympathize. Other friends have suggested that the boy is kind-hearted and genuinely wants to help, or was initially drawn to her physically.

What is a more realistic approach to explaining the boy's interest in the main character?

Maybe she comes from a well-to-do family and he is hired to care for the pool, lawn ect. You could start the story in the summer before their senior year.

Or since they have met already it sounds like, they live in a warmer climate and he works there after school. With access to the house and grounds he could also hear things from the house, maybe see her in the pool with bruises, and start guessing what is going on.

This could also provide and opportunity for them to talk and get to know eachother out of school. You could make it easy for him to click with groups in school; jocks whatever and yet he is drawn to her. His new friends wonder why he bothers with her. She doesn't want to be seen as attractive to men so she dresses plain, no makeup, very shy. He has seen her in a suit though and knows she has a nice figure. Another stumbling block could be getting help for herself and putting a stop to the abuse at home.

Just an idea.