Real life friends with benefits examples?

[OrdinaryPerson]

I was catching up on podcasts and listened to an Invisibila episode about friends with benefits. The intro was interesting but the two examples they focused on was a gay guy pretending to be straight with his female friends and two porn stars that like to have friends with each other.

https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1047650260

It was very disappointing to not hear anything about people who arent paid to have sex successfully being fwbs... any good true life examples out there where you had a fwb and sex was great and no one got hurt?

 

[iso36]

Works best in large urban centers where you can be within convenient distance of each other yet completely unknown to each others circles.

 

[Bigspurt]

I had a FWB in college. It didn't last too long. We would meet at a friends house, fuck and move on.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I had a FWB in college. It didn't last too long. We would meet at a friends house, fuck and move on.

Why didnt it last long

 

[gtnlynn]

My wife and I went to different colleges and she was free to date others. She had four special fwb's. She made sure they knew that she was committed to me and that their sex was just for fun. The fwb relationship ended with each one as soon as the guy tried to get her to dump me and date them exclusively. They remained friends without benefits, and she moved on the the next one.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

My wife and I went to different colleges and she was free to date others. She had four special fwb's. She made sure they knew that she was committed to me and that their sex was just for fun. The fwb relationship ended with each one as soon as the guy tried to get her to dump me and date them exclusively. They remained friends without benefits, and she moved on the the next one.

So one party always wanted more?

 

[gtnlynn]

So one party always wanted more?

Yes. The guy would want to be more than just a fwb. She only wanted them for fun, which is exactly what she told them.

 

[TalkToMeInSB]

My FWB was in a friend circle with both of our spouses. Both of our marriages were toxic and ending and we turned to each other for comfort. We learned that for a FWB relationship to work both people must have the same to lose if the relationship became known. A married person with a single person invites risk of the single person outing the relationship.
Also, if you're trying to keep it a secret, be aware the physical intimacies between you (ways of kissing, touching, etc) don't leak into the outside relationships. This invites suspicion.
And... Be wary of what @gytlynn mentions about one partner becoming more attached and wanting more than the other.
Each FWB relationship has it's own dynamics, and for it to work, both parties need to agree on the ground rules.

 

[CockSparrow]

Many years ago, my then-boss invited me to make up the numbers at a dinner he had organised with two out-of-town women - a cool blonde and a fiery redhead. Fred, my boss, had plans for the blonde. I was supposed to distract the redhead. It didn't quite work out that way.

The blonde and I got on rather well and, at the end of the evening, she asked me to walk her back to her hotel. It was instant lust. The following weekend, I found a reason to be over in her city and we spent the whole weekend in bed. The weekend after that, she came up to London. And we kept that up for about six or seven weeks before deciding that the long distance thing probably wasn't going to work.

We sort of stayed in touch and, about a year later, we found ourselves both working for the same organisation. At the end of the first week, we very discreetly snuck off for a drink or two and then ended up back at her flat where we fucked until the sun came up. It was fun. And we did it again and again, pretty much every Friday night, for almost three years. And then my FWB was head-hunted for a top job in another country.

I didn't see her again for about four years. And then I was visiting her new country for a conference. I looked her up and we had a long lunch together, followed by afters. Fifty years after that first dinner-for-four, we still exchange the odd note.

 

[Nicefella]

My wife and I went to different colleges and she was free to date others. She had four special fwb's. She made sure they knew that she was committed to me and that their sex was just for fun. The fwb relationship ended with each one as soon as the guy tried to get her to dump me and date them exclusively. They remained friends without benefits, and she moved on the the next one.

“Friends without benefits” - yup that pretty much sums up my college existence.

 

[Wickettoby1]

I was dating a woman for about 6 months when i figured out that i didnt have the same romantic feelings for her that she did for me. I did the right thing and ended the relationship. About 3 months later she text me and asked if i wanted to get back together. I told her that i still didnt have romantic feelings for her, thats when she suggested a FWB arrangement. At first i said no because i was suspicious that she was trying to get me to "catch feelings" but alas she wore me down. For about 2 years it was great, id pick her up to go to dinner on friday or Saturday night (she even paid for dinner half of the time) then we would go back to her place and fuck. Every 6 months or so she'd ask how i was feeling about the relationship and i said nothing had changed for me. Well after 2 years she finally realized that her trap didnt work and the relationship ended on valentines day.

 

[ThePitViper]

Another tale from back in my hellraising youth (mid-20s, this time).

I had a friend who, despite her looks, was two years older than me. She looked younger by a year or two, though, with a face thar never needed makeup, and a body that was like a ballerinas.

Her job was rather intense, and she came over to my place quite often to escape her life, and her job, which tried to comingle a lot.

She's come over on a Friday, spend the whole weekend, then leave late Sunday evening. Now, most weekends were spent watching good movies, or merely listening to good 90s grunge and talking. On one of these latter Friday evenings, with her wearing coverall shorts and a loose tank top, she turned to me and said, point blank, "I wish you'd fuck me."

"Who sez I wouldn't?" I asked, feeling a little baffled. She'd never showed interest before.

"It's just, there are times I really want a good cock in me." She explained. "No romantic hassles, just... good fucking."

I leaned over and started undoing the snaps to her coveralls. Clothes weren't worn for the rest of that particular weekend.

She and I had a few good weekends together over the span of about 5 months, and then she moved overseas for a new, better aspect of her job. We kept in touch for a while, but lost touch. Still, I don't think there were any hard feelings or broken hearts.

 

[filipinamaria]

Another tale from back in my hellraising youth (mid-20s, this time).

I had a friend who, despite her looks, was two years older than me. She looked younger by a year or two, though, with a face thar never needed makeup, and a body that was like a ballerinas.

Her job was rather intense, and she came over to my place quite often to escape her life, and her job, which tried to comingle a lot.

She's come over on a Friday, spend the whole weekend, then leave late Sunday evening. Now, most weekends were spent watching good movies, or merely listening to good 90s grunge and talking. On one of these latter Friday evenings, with her wearing coverall shorts and a loose tank top, she turned to me and said, point blank, "I wish you'd fuck me."

"Who sez I wouldn't?" I asked, feeling a little baffled. She'd never showed interest before.

"It's just, there are times I really want a good cock in me." She explained. "No romantic hassles, just... good fucking."

I leaned over and started undoing the snaps to her coveralls. Clothes weren't worn for the rest of that particular weekend.

She and I had a few good weekends together over the span of about 5 months, and then she moved overseas for a new, better aspect of her job. We kept in touch for a while, but lost touch. Still, I don't think there were any hard feelings or broken hearts.

My husband works away a lot. He’s allowed me to have a friend with benefits. A guy who works at my gym.

 

[rudrakshpathak]

I had a fwb arrangement with a friend and we used to sneak off a lot together. It ended when she went to study in another state.

 

[Baldo_bearded]

I had a mostly successful fwb that lasted on and off for about 4 years.

She and I knew each other growing up ans dated briefly before figuring it the emotional connection didn't work and we were better as friends. However, the physical was too much so we found ourselves 'slipping' for a few months before deciding it was best to acknowledge things.

Things ended when i moved away and she's now married but we still wish each other well.

 

[Bigspurt]

Why didnt it last long

We just moved on.

 

[hotcpu]

My husband works away a lot. He’s allowed me to have a friend with benefits. A guy who works at my gym.

Best kind of workout

 

[Louiseisatease]

I am not in a relationship currently, I have a number of friends with whom I would never want a relationship but where we enjoy sex with one another from time to time. None of them wants a relationship with me but we have needs that the other fulfils, basically I like to tease and they enjoy being teased. So far it has always worked well, only one friend has ever even hinted at anything deeper and as she picks up with me when she is between relationships I think she knows she's wise not to press the issue. We are friends, we enjoy one another's company, we meet up for social intercourse more often than sexual intercourse but sometimes we like to have sex together. Perhaps I am simply lucky, perhaps I choose my FWBs quite carefully but it can work to everyone's advantage and the sex, whilst irregular, is really excellent and incredibly joyous.​

 

[filipinamaria]

Best kind of workout

Absolutely

 

[Pink5Frills]

One of my aunts, which I have four of, seduced me, and I lost my innocence to her. Then she must have spoken to her other sisters, and soon I was in their bed, being made love to. I know my aunt Gloria told them, I wear a nightdress to bed, as each aunt had me wear a nightie in their bed, for coitus with them. The only one not to know this, is my mom, and I do wonder what mom would say or do, if she knew her four sisters has had sex with me?

 

[LoveLiving]

I am not in a relationship currently, I have a number of friends with whom I would never want a relationship but where we enjoy sex with one another from time to time. None of them wants a relationship with me but we have needs that the other fulfils, basically I like to tease and they enjoy being teased. So far it has always worked well, only one friend has ever even hinted at anything deeper and as she picks up with me when she is between relationships I think she knows she's wise not to press the issue. We are friends, we enjoy one another's company, we meet up for social intercourse more often than sexual intercourse but sometimes we like to have sex together. Perhaps I am simply lucky, perhaps I choose my FWBs quite carefully but it can work to everyone's advantage and the sex, whilst irregular, is really excellent and incredibly joyous.​

When the terms and conditions are right upfront, it’s great. As long as everyone knows what the social contract is.

 

[TemptationTango]

In college I went through a rough breakup after two years of dating a girl. In our circle of friends was an older girl, maybe three years...(that was ancient back then right?). Anyway, after cards and drinks with the gang one night, both of us found ourselves alone at her place. She flat out seduced me on her sofa, kinda freaked me out since there was no warning. In the middle of it, I asked her if she had any condoms.....she said, "I'm on the pill, don't worry". Mr Happy took over and told my pea brain to shut the hell up. She was up for it anytime after that, even on the floor of her friends apartment while the friend was in her bedroom awake the whole time. This girl was NOT the quiet type either. Anyway, I moved out of state after graduating and never thanked her for getting me out of my funk and restoring my confidence. For sure, I will never forget her.

 

[Rockymtnman]

I’ve had a few over the years. Most kind of petered out over time, either from lack of availability, changes in job, personal life or address. Some over boredom ( stuff runs hot for a bit then just cools) some because feelings were being felt that weren’t part of the deal.

best and longest was with a personal trainer from my gym. Went on for probably 7-8 years. Then she got very ill, she recovered but she had her left breast removed and regardless of how much i told her it wouldn’t bother me she stopped the benefit portion of our friendship. She has my respect as she beat cancer a second time just over 3 years ago. We still text fairly regularly to this day after starting the affair around 2007 ish.

 

[HampshireBoy]

I've had a couple of successful FWB relationships. I was in the process of getting divorced when I met them both, one was in an unhappy marriage and needed someone to confide in. We drifted from friendship to great sex, whilst still friends, over time - without either of us expecting more. We had sex off and on for nearly ten years, until I met and got serious about my wife. We drifted apart after that and haven't spoken in a few years.

The other is slightly more complicated in that she has mental health issues and sometimes needs somewhere that she feels safe, plus has religious issues about sex outside of marriage. Unfortunately she also has/had quite a high sex drive and is fascinated with sex and relationships. For a long time we talked about sex, in that she wanted to understand normal relationships, and even masturbated together without ever having sex. She often stayed at my place, but not in the same bed, and we didn't worry about being naked round each other. Then one day she told me that she wanted me to fuck her, I was extremely gentle as I knew that she had had bad experiences in the past. For the next few years we carried on as before, it was just that sometimes we had sex as well. Then she hit the menopause, suffered from a very dry and uncomfortable vagina and lost her sex drive. This was before I met my wife. My wife is aware of a lot of our past, not the full sex, and this friend's mental health issues - we're still friends but my friend no longer uses me as a "safe place" when life gets too much for her.

 

[Handydan]

We have a couple we are FWB with. There's no attachments. We just do stuff together. Sometimes it involves sex. Great friends.