REAL feedback, please.

[TheDarkAngel13]

I have not gotten enough real writing feedback on my series I've posted on Lit. Maybe you guys would like to offer some?

I started this story over 4 years ago, BUT I'm really proud of it. I pride myself on my cute humor; balance of sex and plot; real romance; quality love scenes; and realistic relationships.

I would like particular feedback on this chapter:
http://www.literotica.com/s/one-night-ch-08-1
It's probably the longest, but I like it best. I would like feedback on how realistic the characters' various relationships seem. Is it corny? Forced? Or does it seem like these are real people interacting? How can I make it smoother?

The whole story is here:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1304226&page=submissions

I'll admit, ANY feedback is appreciated. I'm a whore for praise. I have only had one person give me sincere feedback on the stories themselves. I'm not looking for punctuation correction.

Please don't PM me your response, my box fills up. I'd love if you replied here, or on the story's page itself.

Thanks a lot for your time! I sincerely appreciate anyone taking the time to read my stories. They're my babies; my pride and joy.

Please don't hate/spam/troll. I'll report your ass. <3

 

[Guest]

Feedback posted! Much like Sam, you are made of awesome when it comes to writing erotic fiction.

 

[TheDarkAngel13]

Checking the comment now - THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

 

[TheDarkAngel13]

Feedback posted! Much like Sam, you are made of awesome when it comes to writing erotic fiction.

It's easier for me to reply to your comment here.
Thank you so much for the positive feedback. That was exactly what I was hoping to hear!
I put my heart and soul into my work (it is a fantasy, btw, not a real experience) and sincerely hope it touches others the way it touches me.

On a side note, the italics was not done by my. The submitting method for lit is odd. I use italics to emphasize one word at a time such as "I cannot believe you DID that" to show how people stress certain words when speaking. In order to maintain that, I have to submit the whole Word file to lit and an editor has to post the html themself. They made a mistake and the italics appeared in big random bunches. i don't know how to get it fixed. I know it must make the story look strange.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. It means a great deal to me. Thank you. <3

 

[sr71plt]

On a side note, the italics was not done by my. The submitting method for lit is odd. I use italics to emphasize one word at a time such as "I cannot believe you DID that" to show how people stress certain words when speaking. In order to maintain that, I have to submit the whole Word file to lit and an editor has to post the html themself. They made a mistake and the italics appeared in big random bunches. i don't know how to get it fixed. I know it must make the story look strange.

No you don't have to do that, not really. You can set the italics yourself and just cut and paste the story into the submissions box.

Thus: "I cannot believe you <i>DID</i> that"

(Of course using both italics and all uppercase is overkill.)

 

[Guest]

No you don't have to do that, not really. You can set the italics yourself and just cut and paste the story into the submissions box.

Thus: "I cannot believe you <i>DID</i> that"

(Of course using both italics and all uppercase is overkill.)

Thank you so much for the advice!

 

[TheDarkAngel13]

No you don't have to do that, not really. You can set the italics yourself and just cut and paste the story into the submissions box.

Thus: "I cannot believe you <i>DID</i> that"

(Of course using both italics and all uppercase is overkill.)

Thank you! I ... honestly, I THOUGHT that I could do that, but with 15 pages (in word) of text, I was a little too lazy to try. Maybe to make it better, I should. Thanks.
And I don't use caps in stories since someone told me it was inappropriate. Just in chat/board convos because it's easier to use caps than find out whether you use <i> or for editing. Thank you. <3

 

[Darkniciad]

Most "find" features in text editors have the ability to find by formatting. It may take some research to figure out how to do it, but once you do, the task of tracking down the italic sections ( assuming that you actually put them in italics in the text ) to add the html tags is easy.

 

[TheDarkAngel13]

Most "find" features in text editors have the ability to find by formatting. It may take some research to figure out how to do it, but once you do, the task of tracking down the italic sections ( assuming that you actually put them in italics in the text ) to add the html tags is easy.

I forgot about that. Thank you. <3