read over my story?

[schlik1]

Hey I'm working on a short piece that I'm doing for class tomorrow. Its supposed to be like a Sexual Tableau piece.
So its supposed to have like a romantic undertone but doesn't necessarily have to be about sex.
I'm having trouble with the ending and I would like to have some read it over and tell me what they think.
Should I just post it on the forum for people to read... or should I post it some where else?

any help you could give me would be great.

Thanks

 

[schlik1]

I'm just going to go ahead and post it and see what people think.

Ever since freshman year Crockett and I had been pretty much inseparable. I had noticed his Red Sox cap while walking in the quad and figured I might as well say ‘nice hat.’
Unexpectedly he stopped and we talked about Nomar and Pedro for almost five minutes before I realized I was running late. As I hurried off I hollered ‘What dorm do you live in?’
“Roberts four,” he replied
“Right below me, I’ll look you up.”
A few days later I stopped by his room to see if he wanted to catch a game sometime at local sports bar. We ended up pounding couple pitchers over Monday night football a few weeks later.
By the end of the semester we had traded roommates and moved into the same room. Turns out we had plenty in common other than our love of sports. Crock listened to a lot of the same jam bands I liked, and had both watched the Big Lebowski close to a hundred times. Needless to say we had plenty of good times.
With our tag-team wingman arsenal we slayed the Freshman girls, as if getting laid in college was going out of style. If the whole metro-sexual pretty boy gibberish wasn’t working for Crock I’d swoop in shoulder-right and drop my typical line about loving to sail, or something about a recent concert we’d been too. Girls would literally melt into our arms.
And who could resist, I have to say we looked pretty fucking hot back in the day. Midway through the year Crock had got me started on an iron pumping and protein shake drinking regiment. By the time spring break rolled around we had solid six pack to show off at the beach in South Padre.
Everything went great until Rachel (the Devil) rolled onto the scene. Sure when I met the chick at this random house party I knew she would probably rate an eight or a nine on the hotness scale but I never would have guessed she could rattle my happy world. After one unimpressive date I passed her off to Crock who she obviously found hotter than my skinny ass anyways.
They swooned around each other like two love birds by the end of the week and before the end of the school year I found myself high and dry sitting back in the room by myself more than a couple Fridays.
My supposed “bro” kept banging the miserable she devil almost non-stop for the next six months. Meanwhile I’m stuck all by my-miserable-self listening to those two moaning and groaning through the wall in our new apartment.
Finally when we went skiing over Christmas break Rachel couldn’t stand being by herself for just a couple of days and hooked up with some other dude that just happened to live with one of my friends from high school. The relationship went to shit. I felt bad for Crock for a little less than a day, then I took him out to get rowdy, and celebrate the re-birth of my best friend.
We swore to never let girls get in the way of our good times again and soon found a job together at a swanky island resort for the summer.
Can’t say I’ll forget those great summer days of basking on the beach and partying by night anytime soon.
....can't think of an ending right now. Any ideas?