LittleTitLover
Volunteer editor
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2024
- Posts
- 277
Link below. Please rate and comment!
Read mine please
- Thread starter LittleTitLover
- Start date
LittleTitLover
Volunteer editor
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2024
- Posts
- 277
LittleTitLover
Volunteer editor
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2024
- Posts
- 277
PennyThompson
Orgasm Fairy
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2024
- Posts
- 827
So, I don't think I'm the target audience for your stories, but I saw that nobody had commented here yet, and I figured I'd take a look and chime in 
For the KitKat story, I would have loved more build-up! I think you jumped ahead too fast, by starting with the woman being overly friendly before she knew the male character was reading Lit.
There's something really sexy and exciting about the idea of reading a Literotica story on your phone at the laundromat, someone glances at your phone and recognizes the website, and you make a connection talking about erotica. It could really create a believable basis for a wild hookup, since both people are primed with similar kinks!
Personally I also really like shorter self-contained stories, I'm trying to keep all of mine to about two Lit pages. But I think you could take your time just a bit more, and really add to the experience!
I'm not particularly into feet, but reading your stories makes me feel curious about the appeal! Spend more time on that, sell me on those feet, make the reader want to put those toes in their mouth!
Maybe describe some senses, touch, taste, smell? Describe what does it for you!
I do have one point of criticism, and I hope it doesn't offend too much, but I have to say that one section kind of icked me out a little...
I love seeing diversity and representation in stories that aren't explicitly about race as a fetish. I think it makes a world feel more real and vibrant.
But "I spent time in the Far East," and "I can tell Asians apart, especially ladies," sorry but that is some cringey boomer shit
I do think you did a good job of avoiding a bunch of overly stereotyping language, but I think you could have gone with something like "A short, slim Asian woman," and then spend the saved time describing her features as an individual.
Oh! Another more technical suggestion, use every single one of your Story Tags when you submit the story! Tons of people (myself included) search for new stories by looking for specific tags. You get up to nine tags, use all of them!
I'm not exactly an expert, but off the top of my head I would probably tag it with Laundromat; Foot Fetish; Foot Job; Reading; Strangers; Public Sex; Rimming...
Basically anything that is less than vanilla about your story, put it in a tag!
For the KitKat story, I would have loved more build-up! I think you jumped ahead too fast, by starting with the woman being overly friendly before she knew the male character was reading Lit.
There's something really sexy and exciting about the idea of reading a Literotica story on your phone at the laundromat, someone glances at your phone and recognizes the website, and you make a connection talking about erotica. It could really create a believable basis for a wild hookup, since both people are primed with similar kinks!
Personally I also really like shorter self-contained stories, I'm trying to keep all of mine to about two Lit pages. But I think you could take your time just a bit more, and really add to the experience!
I'm not particularly into feet, but reading your stories makes me feel curious about the appeal! Spend more time on that, sell me on those feet, make the reader want to put those toes in their mouth!
Maybe describe some senses, touch, taste, smell? Describe what does it for you!I do have one point of criticism, and I hope it doesn't offend too much, but I have to say that one section kind of icked me out a little...
I love seeing diversity and representation in stories that aren't explicitly about race as a fetish. I think it makes a world feel more real and vibrant.
But "I spent time in the Far East," and "I can tell Asians apart, especially ladies," sorry but that is some cringey boomer shit
I do think you did a good job of avoiding a bunch of overly stereotyping language, but I think you could have gone with something like "A short, slim Asian woman," and then spend the saved time describing her features as an individual.Oh! Another more technical suggestion, use every single one of your Story Tags when you submit the story! Tons of people (myself included) search for new stories by looking for specific tags. You get up to nine tags, use all of them!
I'm not exactly an expert, but off the top of my head I would probably tag it with Laundromat; Foot Fetish; Foot Job; Reading; Strangers; Public Sex; Rimming...
Basically anything that is less than vanilla about your story, put it in a tag!
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