Re: Shootings & Aftermath attituded

[TN_Vixen]

When I first heard about the latest school shooting I looked up the info on msnbc.com and one of the things that struck me immediately was a photo of a young man smiling with a caption underneath for me to click to watch the video. This young man was SMILING while discussing what went on. ?

Then I watched good ole Tom Brokaw and listened to the other children interviewed and felt a general unease at the lack of sorrow and horror that should've been as palpable as what we saw at Columbine and other school shootings.

What does this mean? I thought.. does this mean that our children are now taking such events lightly? It was eerily scary.

I've read the threads on music and happen to agree with the viewpoint that most of the time, art imitates life. Our television shows, movies, music, fashion.. all imitates the prevalent attitude in society. In order for anyone to be influenced by these things, one has to already embrace some aspect of it. Our society runs on the premise that "If it don't sell, it won't blossom" so if all these things; rap music, gansta paraphanellia (sp?), violence in movies/tv shows are in such abundance... what does that say?

And of course, poor parenting is also at fault here... but only because the people having the children were never taught good parenting skills in the beginning.

Parenting 101 in Middle School?

If our society continues to degenerate, shouldn't teaching some kind of parenting skills or basic morality in schools be endorsed?

 

[Ambrosious]

Parenting

You think maybe the "Carry An Egg For A Week" isn't working? Did anyone else ever do this, and did it teach you not to shoot your classmates? Does Sesame Street need to address this?

 

[DriveSouth]

I was caught be the fact that no one interviewed seemed to know anyone's name, "that guy ..." - "some guys ..." - "the dude was bleeding from his mouth..."

Sure makes it easier to go in shoot up the place when you don't know anyone. I vote for smaller schools ...

 

[ranajja]

Me, too!!!

I agree with TN Vixen, there was a disturbing lack of anger, sorrow, freak-out-edness (yes, I just made that word up)in the interviews on TV.

Vixen is from Tennessee, right? I'm also from southern USA, from a small community. My children attend a small but growing public school.

Is this non-display of emotion a West Coast thing? Please, please, please--I do not say this to offend, but different parts of the country have different ways of expressing themselves. Perhaps my West Coast Lit brethren (and sisteren) could help.

First, there’s the obvious: this 15 year old boy was talking about doing this all weekend. Why didn’t someone say something, anything about this? Because he said he was joking?? I don’t know about you, but there are some things that are not joked about. I remember being oh, around 9 or 10 and getting so angry with my younger sister that I burst out with “I’m gonna kill you!” My mother immediately crawled all over me and made me understand—that statement, along with “I hate you”, was absolutely unacceptable to say to anyone. I am the same way with my children.

Okay, next: As above, it struck me as odd that none of the students said the name of the shooter, or the name of any of the students that were shot. Perhaps they were instructed to do this by the media folks, but I know that my children know the names of practically everyone at their school, in all grades. It just seems strange to me that these kids did not seem to know the names of their fellow students.

Enlightenment, please?

 

[willfulbrat]

I was caught be the fact that no one interviewed seemed to know anyone's name, "that guy ..." - "some guys ..." - "the dude was bleeding from his mouth..."

Sure makes it easier to go in shoot up the place when you don't know anyone. I vote for smaller schools ...

You're so right, DriveSouth. I agree with everyone here, but I think smaller schools are really the key. My husband worked at a large inner-city school for a few years, and the students there got away with so much, because if a teacher saw them doing something wrong, the studentwould run and get away with it, because so often the teacher didn't know the child's name or even recognize him or her.

In a small school, where the teachers are familiar with the students, they get away with so much less.

Of course there are many other factors that contribute to the problem, but smaller schools would be safer schools.

 

[CreamyLady]

I don't think "Carry An Egg For A Week" is about parenting. I think it is designed to teach kids what a burden a child can be.

That's true, as far as it goes, but real parenting -- how to care for an infant, how to discipline a child without harming him, how to teach unattractive virtues and play down the attraction of the vices -- is an experiential class. Things learned in theory have a tendency to fly out the window at 3:00 a.m. when the baby just won't stop crying, or your teenager comes in drunk, or you have been stewing about a phone call from a teacher who wants to discuss your child's attitude and behavior, as soon as possible.

People who work with children exclusively -- day care workers, teachers, parents -- are some of the most undervalued people in society. That speaks volumes to me, far more than the seemingly emotionless people discussing horror for the cameras.

That's not a West Coast phenomenon, by the way. We feel things every bit as deeply as those in other parts of the country. My own feeling is that it is a kind of chemical stew, compounded of equal parts of horror, fright, elation at being alive, grief, guilt and excitement. It's very unattractive, but it usually passes.

 

[WriterDom]

School shootings are very sad, but like airplanes crashes they grab much of the attention while every day four women die in the United States as a result of domestic violence. And a third of all children born in the U.S. today, including 75 percent of all babies born to teenagers, are born out of wedlock. As the family unit goes, so goes the civilization.

 

[DriveSouth]

School shootings are very sad, but like airplanes crashes they grab much of the attention while every day four women die in the United States as a result of domestic violence. And a third of all children born in the U.S. today, including 75 percent of all babies born to teenagers, are born out of wedlock. As the family unit goes, so goes the civilization.

And fully one quarter of the class of 1992 was aborted!

 

[Pyper]

I live here in San Diego and my friend's stepdad teaches at Santana High School. He was shot in the back, but he's going to be okay. I've been trying to deny my upset-ness over this whole thing, but I can't. So I guess I'll talk about it.

Maybe I can answer a few questions people have. The reason nobody interviewed knew anyone else (or even knew the shooter for the most part) was because the school had 1900 kids. I went to a high school of almost the exact same size. It's impossible to know everybody. In fact, when I was a sophomore, a kid in my own grade came to school and tried to shoot himself in the head. Luckily, the gun misfired. I'd never even heard of him before it happened. I don't think that smaller schools is the solution, unless the school happens to be terribly overcrowded, like mine was.

I don't think the lack of emotion on camera is a West Coast phenomenon, I think it's an everywhere phenonmenon. After going through something like this, everyone has a period of shock. I heard a kid on the radio yesterday who told how he had accidentally walked right in front of the shooter. The shooter looked at him, and then turned away, letting him go. This whole story was told in a completely calm and rational manner. I think perhaps the impact hadn't hit this lucky kid yet.

Creamylady is totally right about teachers being undervalued. Somehow, the duty of parenting has been shoved off on them in our society. They become the one's responsible for keeping kids in line, securing the kids' future, and even just babysitting. I DO think parents are responsible for things like these, and not just the parents of the shooter. In all these horror stories we hear, the perpetrator is someone who has been mercilessly picked on and tormented. Where are the parents of those doing the tormenting?

 

[DriveSouth]

I respectfully submit that maybe we are overvalueing our teachers. I mean when we expect them to do and be all that has been suggested in this thread, that is placing a lot of "value" on them doing what I need to be doing as a parent.

So maybe we are under-appreciating, under-paying, under-respecting ...

Maybe it is all semantics, this point of view of mine.

 

[CreamyLady]

I respectfully submit that maybe we are overvalueing our teachers. I mean when we expect them to do and be all that has been suggested in this thread, that is placing a lot of "value" on them doing what I need to be doing as a parent.

So maybe we are under-appreciating, under-paying, under-respecting ...

Maybe it is all semantics, this point of view of mine.

You may call it what you like.

Semantics aside, we don't value our teachers in any sense of the word. Whatever they do, we expect them to do more, for the same or less money. We take them for granted.

If that isn't undervaluing, I don't know what is.

 

[DriveSouth]

CreamyLady - good name btw

I think we really do agree, teachers are underpaid, I know from experience, and we do expect too much of them. Guess that is really my point, we expect way way too much from them. Expect them to bail out bad parents regularly.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Drive South & CL

I've also been commenting about this in sparky's uber-world. The land of the Bad Penny. be careful of the midgets running round underfoot

 

[Luvinlif]

an outside opinion

I cannot emphasize how much I agree with the posts citing violence to the innocent.

Here's what i feel witnessing this from Kazakhstan where I only get Euronews and CNN Europe, both I feel give a vauge reality of the crisis.

The statistics showed that kids doing these truly tragic acts of violence were from ALL backgrounds. I will scream and yell all i can about family values coming from a conservative, right-wing family, but nonetheless, the truth is that this is eating away at all factions of society. Kids with great grades, high popularity, and all else still are often involved in killings from what this report claimed.

It shows this: Kids in dire depression look for the easy way out, guns are more accessible, and the media is quick to give attention. This is a formula for dissaster. Families I believe have always had problems, the silence is still unheard in too many cases. Other innocent people get dragged into early deaths because of ignorance, but this too always has happened around the world. What we have now is a media that makes a big drama and we forget the basic problem, ignored kids of all backgrounds.

Just my opinion, no solution other than love, and love all! It starts at day one from both parents- if you can make love, you can at least love what you make...

Pyper, give my best to the shot teacher. My gf is a student teacher in VA. I care about all of the educators of our youth, deeply.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Pyper

I'm glad that the person you knew invoved is going to be ok. Thank you for sharing your perspective on this.

 

[DriveSouth]

Re: Drive South & CL

I've also been commenting about this in sparky's uber-world. The land of the Bad Penny. be careful of the midgets running round underfoot

Vixen - If Sparky can't come out and play with the rest of us .... then why bother?

 

[Pyper]

Thanks guys. I still sorta feel like I'm floating around in unreality land here. Something like this has never hit so close to home.

 

[DriveSouth]

Thanks guys. I still sorta feel like I'm floating around in unreality land here. Something like this has never hit so close to home.

Wish we were closer so I could give you a nice tight hug.

 

[teresafannin]

Dear Pyper, please tell your friend that I am so glad your friend's step dad is going to be okay. This is devastating to everyone involved, from the families to the entire community. If there is anything I can do, feel free to email me. I know better than most what this kind of trauma is like. It is difficult for me to even watch the news, I can't believe it is happening again. Take care, Teresa