re: ideas for domination in the bedroom

[mary102938]

re: ideas for domination in the bedroom

I am a newbie here, so forgive me if this question has been answered already. I am interested in dominating my husband in the bedroom. We have talked and are both open to most anything. I want to surprise him by not letting him know what things I will do to him or make him do for me. Are there any ideas out there that could help me? He is also into a little humiliation, too. Thanks!

 

[subwannabe]

I don't know how much time you have. There is plenty of info out there. There is info on this site and a good starting read would be the "Mistress Manual". I like your idea of surprising him by not telling him what is going to happen. Being a male who likes to be dominated I can give you a few pointers, however everyone is different. You say you are both open to most anything but what is "most anything"? It would also be helpful to know more about both of you, especially your sexual history.

Enough of beating around the bush so to speak and on to answering your question. I would tie him up, blindfold him, and tease him mercilessly and then order him to tell you what turns him on. Your inhibitions kind of crumble when you have a raging hard on being endlessly teased to the point where you will say or do anything for relief. After he supposedly confesses all of his turn ons continue teasing him further until you have extracted all of his turnons, including the ones he didn't really want to tell you about. Order him to tell you how he would like you to dominate him. Once you have this information, then you need to get more selfish by deciding what it is you want him to do to you. Order him to please you as many times as you wish, any number of ways that you wish, making him give 100% to your pleasure. Once you are completely satisfied you can do some of the things to him that he confessed to. For example, if he confesses that he would like you to whip him then make him pleasure you, after which you promise to whip him until he isn't able to scream anymore or if he wishes to be fucked in the ass with a strap on then make him be a good slave to you, after which you will fuck him silly. I personally like to be enslaved and please my mistress and then denied an orgasm from time to time, especially if I haven't pleased her 100% to her satisfaction. I also like to be ordered to do things around the house too, not just in bed.

 

[mary102938]

Helpful

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate all input. I am still learning at this, myself, but I want to be confident so I can take charge and make it fun for both of us. I like the thought of forcing him to pleasure me, too. Since he has also expressed a desire to be humiliated, I thought about making him drink plenty of water and make him hold it while his hands are tied and I start to tease his penis until he can't hold it anymore. Then make him pee in his underwear! Would that be a bad idea?

 

[Netzach]

Honestly if it blows your skirt and you know him well and he won't feel abused cheap and traumatized by it - have fun. Do what you like. That's the fun of it - if there's anything you always wanted to do or try, it's a great chance to do that.

 

[Filly Gal]

Always consider the clean up, location of your fun, timing meaning no kids, pople coming over etc, etc

Also talk about boundaries, rules and have a stop word that MUST be honored if a person feels like its to much!!

Beyond that have fun!!

 

[mary102938]

Thanks

I have just never talked about this stuff openly before. A little embarrassed. Thanks for understanding. There are times, though, when I feel like really letting go and getting wild. I hope this will help me in that area.

 

[catalina_francisco]

As Netzach says, as long as you know limits etc., and have a safe word, this is a great opportunity to go for what you want, what has been in your fantasies. Once you stop thinking so much about how it will look from an uninvolved position, the sky is the limit basically if you want it to be. The minute you hesitate, or seem lost for what to do, the mood can be lost. HAve fun.

Catalina

 

[mary102938]

Thanks, Cat! You all are so helpful!

 

[wanderer1]

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate all input. I am still learning at this, myself, but I want to be confident so I can take charge and make it fun for both of us. I like the thought of forcing him to pleasure me, too. Since he has also expressed a desire to be humiliated, I thought about making him drink plenty of water and make him hold it while his hands are tied and I start to tease his penis until he can't hold it anymore. Then make him pee in his underwear! Would that be a bad idea?

Please take significant caution if you go down the plenty of water then peeing route - ingesting far too much water can cause the brain to swell inside the skull, resulting in potential death.

Other than that, have fun!

 

[SweetErika]

Please take significant caution if you go down the plenty of water then peeing route - ingesting far too much water can cause the brain to swell inside the skull, resulting in potential death.

Other than that, have fun!

I didn't get the impression she was talking about gallons of water, but you never know. You do bring up a good general point: know the risks and safety measures that should be taken for the activities planned. Even something like simple bondage can be a hazard if it's tight enough to cause circulation or nerve problems, there's an emergency and one doesn't have safety/paramedic shears on hand, etc.

Mary, apart from preparing with knowledge and safety info, the most important lesson I've learned is to be myself and do what I want/like (while respecting my partner's boundaries, of course). When I keep that in mind, I feel confident and WE have a fun and rewarding experience.

Be safe, have fun and I hope you'll let us know how it goes!

 

[myinnerslut]

did anyone mention a BDSM checklist yet? i havnt had time to read through the thread, just the OP

 

[Netzach]

Please take significant caution if you go down the plenty of water then peeing route - ingesting far too much water can cause the brain to swell inside the skull, resulting in potential death.

Other than that, have fun!

Dude, two cups of coffee and I'm practically peeing out my ears.

 

[mary102938]

Great advice you all! If anything, we are overly cautious about what we do. We have been married for almost 20 years and are just now trying something like this. The good thing is, that by now we know each other so well and we have awesome communication and have already talked through our expectations and limits, etc. And, no, I was not meaning GALLONS of water. LOL! He could not hold but maybe a couple of 8oz cups before he's waterlogged! LOL Please keep the ideas coming!

 

[misshum]

It sounds like you have already accomplished the biggest part of this type of venture....communication. I can't tell you how important that one thing is! So many people just assume their partner will know what they want or don't want. For me, I like to learn a lot about my sub before I will do anything. Not just what they like or don't like sexually, but I want to know about them as a person. Once I feel I know them and their desires, then (and only then) do I feel I can begin to dominate them in a way that is best for both of us. While being a Dom usually means that you are doing what YOU want (control), the truth is, you are both in this for pleasure and that is what you both should get out of it. Just my thoughts! Have fun!

 

[mary102938]

Thanks Misshum!

Sounds like you are really experienced at this. We DO have great communication. We have already set boundaries. What I am looking for are some good ideas I can use. I am learning to be more creative, but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask others.

 

[misshum]

PM me, Sweetie. I have plenty of ideas I can share with you. I don't want to put it all here in case other subs are looking. Got to keep them guessing some. I, too, have become very creative over the years!

 

[spreadwide]

Mmmm

I would love to hear some of those ideas, myself, Misshum!

 

[slndrbrwnsuga]

New to this

I have recently surprised my friend by wearing a strapon after my shower, begged me to fuck his ass, but not until pleasing me orally, in everyway, you see, I loved to be kissed, caressed, and.... oh so slowly be teased, so when I got um...moist..LOL, I had him lay on his back, gave him a slow nice deep throat, all while playing and circling his ass with my fingers, then tongue my strapon welcomed his ass with so much pleasure, I brought him to a certain brink then withdraw my strapon, turned him over doggy style, teased his ass before my strapon find itself slowly entering him, going deep at first, withdrawing to the tip where I fucked him with the tip of the strapon until he begged me to go deep, then I let him have it deep, slowly at first, building the rhythm, until he said he was cumming, where I withdrew, lay him on his side, entering him again where I gave him a hand job all while making him cum,,,,at this point...I was on a wave, took me a while to come down, I've been addicted ever since...but I kicked his arse to the curb after encountering several lies and deceptions...enough of men for me for some time...LOL....but must admit...I miss fucking a mans arse.

 

[mary102938]

I appreciate your input, slndrbrwnsuga. That is one thing we've already discussed and, at least for now, is not something either of us is interested in. Who knows what may come as we really get into this long-term, but for now strap-on's are not in our plans. However, while I am not interested in using a strap-on for him, I am open to a little anal play for myself. But, again, not until we are ready for that.

 

[misshum]

Again, it sounds like you both communicate well. That is key, especially in the area of anal play. You must be careful and safe with anything, but especially that. I don't use a strap-on either because I figure if my sub wants a dick, they need to find a male dom! Anywhoooo, I have used anal play many times, just not with a strap-on. In fact, I have used my subs for my OWN pleasure in that department!

 

[spreadwide]

Yeah, I have never been up for the strap-on in the bottom, myself, though I like finger play. HOWEVER, I have fantasized about having another woman with a strap-on that I could ride on those many occasions when hubby is too tired or gone hunting for long periods!

 

[bw08641]

From a guy...

I can tell you what "I" like. I like to have a rope around my penis, then taken back through my legs and up my back and into my Dom's control. She can easily pull on the rope and control my hard penis and make me do anything she wants. I also like "goldenshowers" some, too. Have you thought about that? Let me know if you want more ideas.

 

[misshum]

I also like "goldenshowers" some, too. Have you thought about that?

I will say this, I have enjoyed piss-play, too! Some can't stand the idea and others, well....don't knock it 'til you've tried it! That does open up a lot more possibilities, for both you AND him.

 

[spreadwide]

Now you're talking!

For a while, that was a fantasy of mine. Then during a scene, my Dom forced me to drink several glasses of water and made me wait. Since I am into some humiliation, too, I was forced to hold it until I had permission to relieve myself. Little did I know I would be forced to go outside and have my hands tied above me, stripped down to just my panties and stand there until I could not hold it any longer. I had to pee in my panties in front of anyone who could see. How humiliating!!! And SUCH a turn-on!

 

[mary102938]

Thanks, Spread!

Wow, I am getting all kinds of ideas, here. That one actually made my heart skip a beat, thinking about seeing you like that! Whew!