Rather Amusing

[Ambrosious]

Just found this, and since I work in the Security Industry where only the "best and the brightest" (haahaaahaaaaa!) are employed, it really hit home.

Target Practice: Bob, not the brightest rookie at the police academy, was at the pistol range. He was given some instruction, a pistol, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. Bob looked at his weapon and then at the target again. He looked at the pistol again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the gun barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine. The trouble must be at your end!"

 

[Shylady]

ouch

 

[Bobtoad777]

ROTFLMAO

P.S. The Bob in this story is not me, as I am todd

 

[Expertise]

A real job funny...and true too

One of my best friends works for the electric utility here in its Health and Safety group. He related this story to me. It happened about a month ago......

Two Utility Men (electricians) were working on some electrical switching panels. They had there backs to each other as they worked one of the two was apparently hard of hearing. One of the workers asked a question of the one with the hearing impairment and got no response. He turned to ask him the question again and saw him standing there with both hands on the panel and one leg slightky raised and his entire body shaking violently.

Believing that his co-worker had made contact with a live circut and was being electrocuted he quickly grabbed a large pair of bolt cutters that were lying nearby dashed to his friend and brought them down with tremendous force across the mans forearms so as to break the circut and save his friends life.

His friend writhing on the floor in agony (with one broken and one severly bruised arm)asked what the hell he did that for. His friend replied that he was trying to break the connection and save his life.....

What fucking connection I dropped my screw driver down inside my coveralls and was trying to shake it out the leg.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Man! Funny!

When I was a young prive - I saw a DI beat a guy when we were at the range - this prive had put his Bic pen in the barrel of his M-16 for safe keeping.

 

[Juliangel]

ROFL

 

[CW]

Those are great stories,,, here's another true one

When I was in the air force, my primary job was as a repair tech for a long range radar. We had just received a new airman fresh from tech school on the day that we had a big mission to guide. As luck would have it, we were having problems with our transmitter. Until you had been on station for six months or so you were not allowed into the radar transmitter cabinet,,, the voltages there were extremely high ( 132kv ) and the potential for electricial shock was incrediabe due to the exposed capacitors we used back then.

Our senior tech was a master sgt. just back from Nam and full of piss and arrogence and always talking down to everyone with *you stupid this and that *,,, well, he decided that us 'newbies' needed his experience in locating the problem that day and fixing it,,, and he boasted that he could it without taking us out've service. We all (5 of us ) trooped outside to the transmitter van, it was hot as the core of hell and the flys were having a field day on our exposed skin.

Once the cabinet panel was opened, it was necessary to swing a few panels to the side to gain access to the transmitter circuits. We all had been in here before, except for the true newbie, and we knew the dangers and procedures. The biggest no-no is making loud noises or sudden moves that might distract the person working on the equipment

A grounding wand was taped to the sgt's right arm, his meter was in his left hand, and in he went,,, there was some hesitation like he was having second thoughts about this,,, but, of course, he couldn't loose face by shutting the radar down.

Like I said, the flys were having a field day,,, we were all shooing them away and tring to be quiet about it,,, when out of the blue the newbie walked up behind the sgt just as his head dissappeared into the cabinet and

WHAM!!! slapped his hands together in an effort to kill a fly that was just lighting on the sgt's back,,, well it sounded just like a shot ringing out, the sgt jumped, then froze a second, then he trembled a bit and came flying out backwards as if he had been shot from a cannon,,, having the grounding wand taped to his arm prevented him from going too far though. His pride is all that was hurt thankfully.

This simple act of *helping* had scared him so badly that he shit his drawers and to head back to the barracks to change. BUT!! he was a lot more pleasant after that.

 

[Guest]

 

[dancinvixen]

Re: Man! Funny!

When I was a young prive - I saw a DI beat a guy when we were at the range - this prive had put his Bic pen in the barrel of his M-16 for safe keeping.

Sparky, a couple of years ago, my husband was in the reserves, when they went out for their annual two week training, they went out in the backwoods somewhere in CO. Well, there was a SPC. who had been acting weird for like two days. He wouldn't take a shower<as they only had the groupers.> Finally, my husband and the other guys, grabbed him, stripped him, and went to throw him in the shower. What they didn't know at the time, was that this guy had a full PA. So in the shower they threw him, of course, when the guy stood up, they all noticed his piercing. One of the other guys, grabbed it, and put his finger through the ring asking"What the hell is this?" My husband said that there was some noise at the door, and when the guys turned, they saw the SFC walking in. Of course, as they all turned, the guy with his finger through the piercing, jerked his hand as if to free it, and ended up pulling the whole piercing out. Which lead the guy with the piercing to scream in agony, and the SFC to ask"What the Fuck is goin' on????" Teehee, needless to say, they guy with the piercing will now remember why the military says no piercings on men. <g>