Karen Kraft
29
- Joined
- May 18, 2002
- Posts
- 36,253
.
Last edited:
Rape Recovery Looking for Answers
- Thread starter Karen Kraft
- Start date
G
Guest
Guest
omg that broke my heart
KK,
You must not torture yourself over what was forced upon you and out of your control.
Each and everyone of those despicable creatures should be put to death for what they did to you. Don'tlet them ruin your future as they destroyed your past.
If you are concerned about whether or not the guy flirting with you could be someone who flirted with you, find a guy who has never been to california [or at least not to LA], get to know him long distance until you feel comfortable enough to move into a more personal setting.
The guy does not necessarily have to know about what happened to you...there are many guys out there willing to get to know someone online and/or phone and move further if things click, so don't feel obligated to explain why you are not looking to meet or exchange intimate pics or chat right away. That is your choice, and if the guy is right for you he will respect that.
If you need someone to talk or vent to, I'm usually not too far from my pc, and always willing to listen to someone who needs a friendly ear. I've had a pretty rough life too [abuse, being shot once, stabbed twice, broken my back 3 times among other things] and been fortunate enough to e able to rise above the adversity, so if you need to talk with someone [about anything] look me up at erikdraven29@hotmail.com. my aim id is princejonny01.
I wish you happiness, health and good fortune for the rest of your life hon...you deserve it after what you've been through.
PJ
KK,
You must not torture yourself over what was forced upon you and out of your control.
Each and everyone of those despicable creatures should be put to death for what they did to you. Don'tlet them ruin your future as they destroyed your past.
If you are concerned about whether or not the guy flirting with you could be someone who flirted with you, find a guy who has never been to california [or at least not to LA], get to know him long distance until you feel comfortable enough to move into a more personal setting.
The guy does not necessarily have to know about what happened to you...there are many guys out there willing to get to know someone online and/or phone and move further if things click, so don't feel obligated to explain why you are not looking to meet or exchange intimate pics or chat right away. That is your choice, and if the guy is right for you he will respect that.
If you need someone to talk or vent to, I'm usually not too far from my pc, and always willing to listen to someone who needs a friendly ear. I've had a pretty rough life too [abuse, being shot once, stabbed twice, broken my back 3 times among other things] and been fortunate enough to e able to rise above the adversity, so if you need to talk with someone [about anything] look me up at erikdraven29@hotmail.com. my aim id is princejonny01.
I wish you happiness, health and good fortune for the rest of your life hon...you deserve it after what you've been through.
PJ
It is times like these that I really feel ashamed of my sex.
I could say that I understand what you went through but that would be complete crap. Nobody can know what it is like except someone who went through a similar ordeal.
I would not worry about the video. It will probably remain local. If you were as drugged as you said you were and probably restrained as well, there would be no doubt to anyone who viewed the tape that you were there against your will. You cannot be held at fault if you were overpowered by several men while you were under the influence of a drug. Possession of the tape itself even if those that have it in their possession did not participate in the rape itself can be charged with a crime...not sure but probably: Accessory After the Fact and Concealing Evidence to name just two. If they were smart they would destroy the tape. What they won't do is make copies or make it known that they have it.
All I CAN say is that I hope this doesn't color your opinion of men in general. I believe that if there were any REAL men there instead of boys this would not have happened. Most men love and cherish women and have no need for such a perversion.
I am truly sorry. You sound like an intelligent woman and I hope you make it through this.
I could say that I understand what you went through but that would be complete crap. Nobody can know what it is like except someone who went through a similar ordeal.
I would not worry about the video. It will probably remain local. If you were as drugged as you said you were and probably restrained as well, there would be no doubt to anyone who viewed the tape that you were there against your will. You cannot be held at fault if you were overpowered by several men while you were under the influence of a drug. Possession of the tape itself even if those that have it in their possession did not participate in the rape itself can be charged with a crime...not sure but probably: Accessory After the Fact and Concealing Evidence to name just two. If they were smart they would destroy the tape. What they won't do is make copies or make it known that they have it.
All I CAN say is that I hope this doesn't color your opinion of men in general. I believe that if there were any REAL men there instead of boys this would not have happened. Most men love and cherish women and have no need for such a perversion.
I am truly sorry. You sound like an intelligent woman and I hope you make it through this.
styxitnu
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2003
- Posts
- 141
?
Karen, I work in private investigations and have worked on cases involving date rape drugs. I may be able to help but will need more information, I suggest you PM for privacy but be forwarned I have some serious questions about your story (It comes with the job to be skeptical) I will however make the following observations/reccomendations pro-bono.
Why are you using your real name for this post.
The tape that was made of the allege rape must be found for several reasons.
1. Your peace of mind.
2. video of the assault is solid evidence and will put these animals in a cage where they belong.
3. Prevent more hard to yourself or family.
I can reccomend a private investigator in your area, Who can track down the video, My guess is it will not be all that hard it is probable that alot of copies were made.
Take care and let me know if I can help.
Karen, I work in private investigations and have worked on cases involving date rape drugs. I may be able to help but will need more information, I suggest you PM for privacy but be forwarned I have some serious questions about your story (It comes with the job to be skeptical) I will however make the following observations/reccomendations pro-bono.
Why are you using your real name for this post.
The tape that was made of the allege rape must be found for several reasons.
1. Your peace of mind.
2. video of the assault is solid evidence and will put these animals in a cage where they belong.
3. Prevent more hard to yourself or family.
I can reccomend a private investigator in your area, Who can track down the video, My guess is it will not be all that hard it is probable that alot of copies were made.
Take care and let me know if I can help.
wolf2002
Moderator
- Joined
- May 13, 2002
- Posts
- 1,500
Dear Karen,
I am not a rape victim nor a psychologist but perhaps my male perspective could be of some help. First of all: I want to compliment you with the way you’re dealing with this whole terrible event. You must be a pretty strong personality to talk about it and to cope with it the way you do…
Perhaps I may tell you about a lady friend of mine who had endured terrible incest abuse in her childhood. The experiences haunted her, like yours haunt you, but at a certain moment she decided to let it rest. She couldn’t forget, ever, but instead she started to think of herself as a Phoenix: the firebird that rises out of its own ashes. This mental image really helped her building up a normal life, and even get strength out of her bad childhood experiences. She left them behind, burned them, and came out of it stronger – sadder perhaps – but also wiser.
Maybe this image of the Phoenix could help you too. Imagine the impression you would make if your fears would come true and one of these rapist would recognize you on the street. He would see a conscious, beautiful woman who wasn’t broken by this violent experience, but has dealt with it and came out stronger. I guess his self-esteem would sink below the ground, he would never be able to look in the mirror again.
Should you tell your future BF and when? Again I can only give you my personal experience. I once had a girlfriend who had some terrible violent childhood experiences, which she knew had caused her some huge traumas. One the very night we fell in love, she told me all about it. The message was: I can be yours, but you have to accept that I carry a history with me… I loved her for telling me, and thus letting me understand her better. It's a terrible idea that the one I love would keep secrets for me like that….
I am not saying you should always tell straight away. Choose the right moment, but don’t keep it to yourself. If he doesn’t accept it, he’s just not good enough for you.
Greetings,
Wolf
I am not a rape victim nor a psychologist but perhaps my male perspective could be of some help. First of all: I want to compliment you with the way you’re dealing with this whole terrible event. You must be a pretty strong personality to talk about it and to cope with it the way you do…
Perhaps I may tell you about a lady friend of mine who had endured terrible incest abuse in her childhood. The experiences haunted her, like yours haunt you, but at a certain moment she decided to let it rest. She couldn’t forget, ever, but instead she started to think of herself as a Phoenix: the firebird that rises out of its own ashes. This mental image really helped her building up a normal life, and even get strength out of her bad childhood experiences. She left them behind, burned them, and came out of it stronger – sadder perhaps – but also wiser.
Maybe this image of the Phoenix could help you too. Imagine the impression you would make if your fears would come true and one of these rapist would recognize you on the street. He would see a conscious, beautiful woman who wasn’t broken by this violent experience, but has dealt with it and came out stronger. I guess his self-esteem would sink below the ground, he would never be able to look in the mirror again.
Should you tell your future BF and when? Again I can only give you my personal experience. I once had a girlfriend who had some terrible violent childhood experiences, which she knew had caused her some huge traumas. One the very night we fell in love, she told me all about it. The message was: I can be yours, but you have to accept that I carry a history with me… I loved her for telling me, and thus letting me understand her better. It's a terrible idea that the one I love would keep secrets for me like that….
I am not saying you should always tell straight away. Choose the right moment, but don’t keep it to yourself. If he doesn’t accept it, he’s just not good enough for you.
Greetings,
Wolf
Karen Kraft
29
- Joined
- May 18, 2002
- Posts
- 36,253
Rape and Erotic Feelings
I see that a lot of people find the idea of rape and of gang rape as sort of an erotic thing -- both males and females seem to share that sense. It doesn't seem to correlate to being attacked or not. Wolf's stories are of an erotic nature, and very interesting, in my opinion.
I see that a lot of people find the idea of rape and of gang rape as sort of an erotic thing -- both males and females seem to share that sense. It doesn't seem to correlate to being attacked or not. Wolf's stories are of an erotic nature, and very interesting, in my opinion.
G
Guest
Guest
I think a lot of people find tabboo subject matter erotic as fantasy, because as a fantasy, it is a controlled environment.
BUt unlike fantasy, the reality is uncontrolled, violent and destructive
definitely not something to get sexually stimulated to.
IMHO at least
PJ
BUt unlike fantasy, the reality is uncontrolled, violent and destructive
definitely not something to get sexually stimulated to.
IMHO at least
PJ
Jenny _S
Anal Virgin (Again)
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2003
- Posts
- 2,834
Karen Dearest,
What happened to you is not only a crime in nearly every country in the world but a humiliating invasion of your peson and mentality. Rape recovery is a long and painful process.
Too many of my friends have suffered the same or similar attacks. The speed and quality of recovery is a personal thing. Some friends are still deeply affected even years afterwards. Others, though affected, have put the incident behind them and moved on. Not one is completely recovered in my view.
All I can tell you is this. There are some good people out there. People who care and respect you as a person, even after what has happened to you.
Rape is not something that I will ever either understand or even want too. That is the action of some very sick person(s). The fact that you were vulnerable and alone at the time points up the kind of crime it is. A preditory crime carried out by the lowest kind of sicko.
If I can offer any support, just ask, Sweety.
Jenny
What happened to you is not only a crime in nearly every country in the world but a humiliating invasion of your peson and mentality. Rape recovery is a long and painful process.
Too many of my friends have suffered the same or similar attacks. The speed and quality of recovery is a personal thing. Some friends are still deeply affected even years afterwards. Others, though affected, have put the incident behind them and moved on. Not one is completely recovered in my view.
All I can tell you is this. There are some good people out there. People who care and respect you as a person, even after what has happened to you.
Rape is not something that I will ever either understand or even want too. That is the action of some very sick person(s). The fact that you were vulnerable and alone at the time points up the kind of crime it is. A preditory crime carried out by the lowest kind of sicko.
If I can offer any support, just ask, Sweety.
Jenny
Jenny _S said:Karen Dearest,
What happened to you is not only a crime in nearly every country in the world but a humiliating invasion of your peson and mentality. Rape recovery is a long and painful process.
Too many of my friends have suffered the same or similar attacks. The speed and quality of recovery is a personal thing. Some friends are still deeply affected even years afterwards. Others, though affected, have put the incident behind them and moved on. Not one is completely recovered in my view.
All I can tell you is this. There are some good people out there. People who care and respect you as a person, even after what has happened to you.
Rape is not something that I will ever either understand or even want too. That is the action of some very sick person(s). The fact that you were vulnerable and alone at the time points up the kind of crime it is. A preditory crime carried out by the lowest kind of sicko.
If I can offer any support, just ask, Sweety.
Jenny
Well said.
Karen Kraft
29
- Joined
- May 18, 2002
- Posts
- 36,253
Jenny - you are so sweet. Thank you.
Several years ago, my older sister died of cancer after a long and unpleasant journey through the tortures of medical science. One of the most notworthy things she said in her journals was the observation that a person diagnosed with a terminal desease somehow culturally becomes less of a person. When the patients and their support group are separated into how-to groups, the friends and family are treated with much greater respect than the patients themselves. Nobody knows why that is, but it is. The same thing seems to lie just a tad below the surface when dealing with rape victims. Boy victims as well as girl victims: People are encouranged to love them IN SPIKE OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THEM. Think about that for a second. Why should it be any harder to love and respect someone who has been attacked than someone who has not? Jenny, part of your message caught my eye: "All I can tell you is this. There are some good people out there. People who care and respect you as a person, even after what has happened to you." I love your warmth and support, yet I cried when I read that. I'm not exactly sure why. Karen.
Several years ago, my older sister died of cancer after a long and unpleasant journey through the tortures of medical science. One of the most notworthy things she said in her journals was the observation that a person diagnosed with a terminal desease somehow culturally becomes less of a person. When the patients and their support group are separated into how-to groups, the friends and family are treated with much greater respect than the patients themselves. Nobody knows why that is, but it is. The same thing seems to lie just a tad below the surface when dealing with rape victims. Boy victims as well as girl victims: People are encouranged to love them IN SPIKE OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THEM. Think about that for a second. Why should it be any harder to love and respect someone who has been attacked than someone who has not? Jenny, part of your message caught my eye: "All I can tell you is this. There are some good people out there. People who care and respect you as a person, even after what has happened to you." I love your warmth and support, yet I cried when I read that. I'm not exactly sure why. Karen.
poeticjustice
Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2001
- Posts
- 74
never party in the ghettos!
The east side and the south side are big no nos!
Even as a male i dont like going there!
Be careful in the future about where you go to party.
A friend of mine was traumatised by rape until she raped a guys ass (yikes)
So do whatever it takes to get it out of your system
The east side and the south side are big no nos!
Even as a male i dont like going there!
Be careful in the future about where you go to party.
A friend of mine was traumatised by rape until she raped a guys ass (yikes)
So do whatever it takes to get it out of your system
it shouldn't!! It sounds like you are more together than even you realize.If this bothers someone you are getting into a relationship with,...is this person really worth your time.If he can't handle it,is he any better than the assholes that did it in the first place?
Relationships (good ones imo) are about loving,trusting,sharing, and accepting every bit of baggage we carry.like everyone else has said...you did nothing to deserve this.I also had a girlfriend a while back that had a screwed up childhood/stepfather. she told me about the things that happened, then let it go...she knew better.she held on to her pride,her belief in herself.I love her to this day for what we shared and what she taught me about believing in ourselves.
Trust yourself now, you are aware. you will know the smile (smirk) of any of the guys.if they see no fear, they will fear.they think you don't remember, but do they know for sure? Karma has a way
one thing I do know, you are not damaged goods,they are. I wish you the very best,also if I can be of any help, feel free to pm me.
G
Guest
Guest
Re: Jenny - you are so sweet. Thank you.
as someone who has almost died about 5 times, I can tell you how true your sister's words are karen.
although i do believe that is one of the saddest things I've ever read.
You have a beautiful soul karen. Don't be afraid to share it with the right person.
huggs n stuff,
PJ
for the tears you cried:
http://202.92.120.165/Photo39/167712/50/24520138.jpg
Karen Kraft said:
as someone who has almost died about 5 times, I can tell you how true your sister's words are karen.
although i do believe that is one of the saddest things I've ever read.
You have a beautiful soul karen. Don't be afraid to share it with the right person.
huggs n stuff,
PJ
for the tears you cried:
http://202.92.120.165/Photo39/167712/50/24520138.jpg
Last edited by a moderator:
wolf2002
Moderator
- Joined
- May 13, 2002
- Posts
- 1,500
Karen, I think you understood it well, but to avoid any misunderstandings:
in my stories I like to play with the concept of power exchange, control, domination and submission. It lends itself well for fiction and indeed, a lot of people like it...
But personally I don;t actually fantasize about rape or non-consentual sex. Perhaps about mock rape, but there;s always consent in this... a crucial difference...
Wolf
Jenny _S
Anal Virgin (Again)
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2003
- Posts
- 2,834
Re: Jenny - you are so sweet. Thank you.
Karen, Sweetheart,
What I said was true. There are people out in the world who
have compassion and genuine feeling for others. This has
become a "ME" world making finding them difficult. But they
are there.
When people leave childhood and enter their adult years they
seem to lose much of their compassion and caring, I think. As
adults we are much too interested in our own lives, our own
families, our own careers and relationships to give much thought
to others.
Thank you for your openess and honesty in bringing this issue
to the forum. That too a lot of courage on your part. I see you
as one of he good people who still cares. I am so glad to have
stopped here. It would be a pleasure knowing you.
Jenny
Karen Kraft said:
Karen, Sweetheart,
What I said was true. There are people out in the world who
have compassion and genuine feeling for others. This has
become a "ME" world making finding them difficult. But they
are there.
When people leave childhood and enter their adult years they
seem to lose much of their compassion and caring, I think. As
adults we are much too interested in our own lives, our own
families, our own careers and relationships to give much thought
to others.
Thank you for your openess and honesty in bringing this issue
to the forum. That too a lot of courage on your part. I see you
as one of he good people who still cares. I am so glad to have
stopped here. It would be a pleasure knowing you.
Jenny
windycityman
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2002
- Posts
- 1,667
Karen .........I am sorry for your experience...........I know words only are words sometimes..........I will keep your in my prayers along with my lady BethAnne......I am sorry that you had to go though that.........but please remember there is some good people in the world.....you will find peace trust me..........it took me almost 49 years but I have found the one for me .....I will let her explain that..anyway I will keep you in my and my sons prayers..........
Gods Speed
WCM
Gods Speed
WCM
Karen Kraft
29
- Joined
- May 18, 2002
- Posts
- 36,253
Thank you, Jenny and Windy
You both hare very sweet to take the time to understand what I was feeling. I am actually a very strong person, and my therapist warned me that discussing all this stuff with strangers was bound to be frought with challenge and danger. Thanks again.
Karen.
P.S. - Windy- I will keep you in my prayers as well. May God Bless.
K.
You both hare very sweet to take the time to understand what I was feeling. I am actually a very strong person, and my therapist warned me that discussing all this stuff with strangers was bound to be frought with challenge and danger. Thanks again.
Karen.
P.S. - Windy- I will keep you in my prayers as well. May God Bless.
K.
Gotta go with poeticjustice on this. To anyone out there who does not come from a large city: the south side and east side of LA are DO NOT GO TOS! Hell, I've lived my entire life in and around the LA area and can count the number of times I've been on the south side on one hand. And I only venture into the east side during daylight.
Karen - this undoubtedly has happened before. Hell, I know it does. Some one on either campus knows about it. Nothing is ever that much of a secret. You say you're seeing a therapist and that you've seen a doctor. Have either recommended filing a police report? Granted, there might not be much that can be done, but at least you would have something on record. The problem with these types of crimes is that they go unreported because the victims feel they either do not have a case, they are embarassed, or just want it to go away. You filing a report with the police might change things.
Also, I would report this incident to the university. Security is very important at most universities, especially on the west side. They can perhaps issue warnings about being careful going to parties singularly and accepting drinks. You may never know who did this to you. Are you willing to take steps to try to see that another young woman doesn't have the same experience?
As far as future relationships go, that is something that will come with time. Only you will know when is the right time to share and how. Chances are if there was a video made, it made the circuit only as long as it took to make another one.
I really do wish you well.
Karen - this undoubtedly has happened before. Hell, I know it does. Some one on either campus knows about it. Nothing is ever that much of a secret. You say you're seeing a therapist and that you've seen a doctor. Have either recommended filing a police report? Granted, there might not be much that can be done, but at least you would have something on record. The problem with these types of crimes is that they go unreported because the victims feel they either do not have a case, they are embarassed, or just want it to go away. You filing a report with the police might change things.
Also, I would report this incident to the university. Security is very important at most universities, especially on the west side. They can perhaps issue warnings about being careful going to parties singularly and accepting drinks. You may never know who did this to you. Are you willing to take steps to try to see that another young woman doesn't have the same experience?
As far as future relationships go, that is something that will come with time. Only you will know when is the right time to share and how. Chances are if there was a video made, it made the circuit only as long as it took to make another one.
I really do wish you well.
Karen Kraft
29
- Joined
- May 18, 2002
- Posts
- 36,253
Thanks, Chele
[.
[.
Last edited:
G
Guest
Guest
nice to see that pretty smile on your face again karen
PJ
PJ
Jenny _S
Anal Virgin (Again)
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2003
- Posts
- 2,834
Re: Thanks, Chele
So sorry I haven't checked in for a few days, Karen. I hope all is well. mmm your pic is delicious. You are such a delightful young lady and your smile is divine.
If you need help, dear, or just want to chat I will be around.
Jenny
Karen Kraft said:
So sorry I haven't checked in for a few days, Karen. I hope all is well. mmm your pic is delicious. You are such a delightful young lady and your smile is divine.
If you need help, dear, or just want to chat I will be around.
Jenny
Karen Kraft
29
- Joined
- May 18, 2002
- Posts
- 36,253
Jenny _S said:So sorry I haven't checked in for a few days, Karen. I hope all is well. mmm your pic is delicious. You are such a delightful young lady and your smile is divine.
If you need help, dear, or just want to chat I will be around.
Jenny
You are so sweet. Thank you.
Karen
