Rape Fantasies

[Chicklet]

This is a discussion I'm taking away from the Story Ideas board - women with this fantasy, help me defend it.

Original Thread Found Here

I can't understand why a woman would have fantasies about being raped, why don't you enlighten me. I mean really, if the near dealth experience thrills you.

In the fantasy, BS, it is *not* a near-death experience. For me, anyway. The whole idea is that you're being taken somewhere you'd want to go against your will. You don't see many women with fantasies of being raped by men that they wouldn't want to fuck, do you?

I think that the beauty of a nonconsent fantasy is that you're getting what you want, but you have the deniability of not wanting it. I fight with my boyfriend all the time during sex, biting him, provoking him, because I love when it feels "forced" - I like him to hold my hands above my head and fuck my brains out with absolutely no thought to my pleasure. Of course, he is thinking about me, that's why he's doing it.

In the stories that I've written personally, for the most part, the character being forced is really getting what she wants. In the fantasy, she always enjoys it.

In real life, no, rape is not pretty. Victims don't enjoy it. People with nonconsent fantasies understand that, but they can still close their eyes and imagine that hot, big, sexy brute pounding it into them while they're whimpering and squirming to get away.

There is no love nor lust in rape. It's I'm going to hurt you and you are going to remember this for a very long time. Wanna get raped. Just put yourself out there. We live in one of the most violent societies on the face of the earth. It shouldn't be too difficult for you to get the real deal. And, I'm not talking about someone who you are familar with forcing himself on you. I'm talking about, when the guy hits you, something breaks. When he pushing you to the floor your skull cracks. You know, live action. Loss of consciousness, broken bones.

We're not talking about real rape. We're not talking about real violence. We're talking fantasy. How many people with the nonconsent fantasy *really* want to be raped? I'll bet it'd a damned few. I certainly don't. A few months ago I had to walk home from work, quite a ways, in a relatively large city. not huge, not new york, but there are crimes. I was thinking to myself "how many of my own stories have started this way?" and was walking as fast as my stubby little legs could carry me. I certainly don't want to be raped, hurt, murdered, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to be "taken"

Chicklet

 

[Lancecastor]

You might get a better reception on the BDSM Forum. Just a thought.

 

[Guest]

 

[Ms_Lilith]

*bitchslaps hanns*

 

[Chicklet]

You might get a better reception on the BDSM Forum. Just a thought.

since we've basically been debating it in story ideas i thought as a debate it would work better here

i put a similar one up in the bdsm forum

 

[SaucyWench]

Okay, I'll bite. I have the rape fantasy...but, in almost exactly the way you describe it...not horribly violent or unwanted, but the idea of being "forced" is an incredible turn on. Throw me down and fuck me, but do it because I want you to, not because I don't want you to. I've discussed this fantasy with others, and we came to the same conclusion: at work, I have to be in charge, I have to be the one making the decisions and making things happen....I don't want to do that in bed, I want someone else to take that role.

 

[The Heretic]

Just explain it this way:

Over here we have Fantasy.

And over here we have Reality.

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Got it?

If they don't get it, then they will never get it and no amount of explanation will ever make them get it.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Just explain it this way:

Over here we have Fantasy.

And over here we have Reality.

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Got it?

If they don't get it, then they will never get it and no amount of explanation will ever make them get it.

Well posted!

 

[Harbinger]

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

Fantasy       Reality

I've always found that space between the "y" and the "R" to be quite fascinating.

 

[peachykeen]

It's not a fantasy I share, but I think I get it. To an extent, I think it is similar to the reason why so many men in high power, high pressure jobs got to dominatrixes - when you feel like you've got to be 'on top' and in control and you have lots of responsibilities and people are depending on you, etc etc, to be able to be removed from that and 'have things happen to you that are out of your control' is a great relief, a pleasure. But, just as the guy who is paying the dominatrix is really ultimately in charge, so is a woman in a rape fantasy - it's her fantasy; she sets the scene, chooses the attributes of the attacker, decides what takes place, all of it.

 

[Coca~Cola]

Okay, I'll bite. I have the rape fantasy...but, in almost exactly the way you describe it...not horribly violent or unwanted, but the idea of being "forced" is an incredible turn on. Throw me down and fuck me, but do it because I want you to, not because I don't want you to. I've discussed this fantasy with others, and we came to the same conclusion: at work, I have to be in charge, I have to be the one making the decisions and making things happen....I don't want to do that in bed, I want someone else to take that role.

YES, EXACTLY

I don't know why that is so hard to understand.

 

[fgarvb1]

A woman i dated for some years loved to be surprised; hands cuffed behind her back, forced onto the floor...jeans and panites yanked off. Roughly tugged into position on her hand and knees.

She liked it slammed to her without mercy untill she started to cum, than she liked her ass reamed out as hard as possible while she was quaking with the intensity of her orgasam.

Damn, it got hot in here!

only woman i ever met who only the feel of handcuffs would have her dripping wet before i could get her clothes off.

 

[pop_54]

Hi

Okay, I'll bite. I have the rape fantasy...but, in almost exactly the way you describe it...not horribly violent or unwanted, but the idea of being "forced" is an incredible turn on. Throw me down and fuck me, but do it because I want you to, not because I don't want you to. I've discussed this fantasy with others, and we came to the same conclusion: at work, I have to be in charge, I have to be the one making the decisions and making things happen....I don't want to do that in bed, I want someone else to take that role.

This I understand fully ladies, and approve, I would however be very worried about anything stronger, ie: trawling the streets.

Still fantasy and reality are two different things aren't they, totally different, one should never attempt to act out all of your fantasies, there'd be nothing left to look forward to, life would be empty, keep at least one for a rainy day.

See ya pops........

 

[intrigued]

I have a similiar fantasy, though I just can't see it as being a "rape fantasy". Its about being "taken", someone else being in control, about a desire so strong that he has to have me that second, as if its his last moments on earth.
Violence or anything else that I don't want to happen never enters the picture. Its mostly about mind control and a forceful desire, of him taking me from feeling nothing at all sexually (a rare circumstance, but anyway...) to responding to him almost against my will...to aching for him with every fiber of my being...to complete and total surrender. I want it out of my hands, I want him to control me.

We would have to know eachother so well that it just happens. It can't be something we plan a date and time for, I'm good, but I just can't fool myself that well.

 

[morninggirl5]

It might help clarify things if "rape" fantasies were given the term that more accurately describes most of them -- ravishment fantasies.

The fantasy is all about being desired beyond the self control of your partner, not an act of violence perpetrated by a stranger.

 

[The Heretic]

It's not a fantasy I share, but I think I get it. To an extent, I think it is similar to the reason why so many men in high power, high pressure jobs got to dominatrixes - when you feel like you've got to be 'on top' and in control and you have lots of responsibilities and people are depending on you, etc etc, to be able to be removed from that and 'have things happen to you that are out of your control' is a great relief, a pleasure.

Funny, I've never wanted to be controlled in that way and I have had some high stress jobs (but none of them were "high power" jobs, unless you call law enforcement a "high power" job). In fact, I have always felt the other way around.

There have been a lot of times when I just want everything to be taken care of by someone else, but that is different than feeling dominated - I have always hated that.

But, just as the guy who is paying the dominatrix is really ultimately in charge, so is a woman in a rape fantasy - it's her fantasy; she sets the scene, chooses the attributes of the attacker, decides what takes place, all of it.

I don't know that I agree with that; I can think of a lot of situations where role playing and fantasy acting out were almost totally beyond the control of the one being dominated - the only control they had was to use their safe word to say when the dom went too far.

 

[peachykeen]

Hey, I never said it was ALL men in high stress jobs. Anyway, I wasn't thinking law enforcement, I was thinking more like high power executive types.

I have known a few girls who worked as pro doms; they all said, at the end of the day, it's a customer service job - the one footin the bill is the one who has the last word.

 

[Thrillhouse]

I've always found that space between the "y" and the "R" to be quite fascinating.

What's so fascinating about "ealit?"

Oh. Never mind.

 

[TheOlderGuy]

this is an excellent point

It might help clarify things if "rape" fantasies were given the term that more accurately describes most of them -- ravishment fantasies.

The fantasy is all about being desired beyond the self control of your partner, not an act of violence perpetrated by a stranger.

it seems that so much of the misunderstanding
is in the semantics -- the word rape carries too
much emotional baggage, and does not really
describe the consensual act about which we speak.
but, of course, it is that very potency of emotion
that makes it such a powerful fantasy.

 

[morninggirl5]

Re: this is an excellent point

it seems that so much of the misunderstanding
is in the semantics -- the word rape carries too
much emotional baggage, and does not really
describe the consensual act about which we speak.
but, of course, it is that very potency of emotion
that makes it such a powerful fantasy.

I agree. Throw out the word and the intense emotions remain. Those emotions are the key, not the word we use to identify them.

 

[Cheyenne]

It might help clarify things if "rape" fantasies were given the term that more accurately describes most of them -- ravishment fantasies.

The fantasy is all about being desired beyond the self control of your partner, not an act of violence perpetrated by a stranger.

Now THAT makes sense to me. Rape doesn't, not at all.

 

[Pyper]

I read a very interesting article by a psychologist who theorized that rape or "ravishment" fantasties (it does seem to be the better term) are so common in women because in our society women are told from the time that they are very young that it is their responsibility to refuse sex.

They are told to say no, to maintain their purity, to refuse men who only want one thing. Society doesn't take into account that women want sex just as much as men do. So many women develop fantasies of being "taken" to eliminate all responsibility from the act. It's not her fault if she is forced, but she can still enjoy it.

 

[Chicklet]

So many women develop fantasies of being "taken" to eliminate all responsibility from the act. It's not her fault if she is forced, but she can still enjoy it.

I think that explains a lot

(toot - happy 5700 posts me)

 

[morninggirl5]

I read a very interesting article by a psychologist who theorized that rape or "ravishment" fantasties (it does seem to be the better term) are so common in women because in our society women are told from the time that they are very young that it is their responsibility to refuse sex.

They are told to say no, to maintain their purity, to refuse men who only want one thing. Society doesn't take into account that women want sex just as much as men do. So many women develop fantasies of being "taken" to eliminate all responsibility from the act. It's not her fault if she is forced, but she can still enjoy it.

I know it's not "scientific research" but i've been reading romance novels for over 20 years now. As a very young teen, they were "bodice rippers" with a great deal of them having ravishment as the first sexual encounter. As societal views toward women have begun to shift, the number of "bodice rippers" has decreased dramatically with the sex in romance novels now much more realistic.


I would agree with the article you read Pyper, and be very interested in reading it if you have a full citation.

 

[Pyper]

I would agree with the article you read Pyper, and be very interested in reading it if you have a full citation.

Er, unfortunately no, this is one of my many bits of random knowledge that I pick up. However, I do think it's a well-accepted explanation for rape fantasies, and it wouldn't be hard to find further reading on the topic.