Ranting: Gay public affection

[white_mage_goddess]

Ok, just had to rant about this.

My best friend of 5 years is a gay man living with his long term b/f. We all live in a very small, close minded town. Now, in my opinion, the guys, who I will call "curtis" and "dennis" have always been extremely considerate about not making people around them "uncomfortable" by being too physically affectionate.

They do not kiss in public, hold hands, put arms around each other etc. Yet, they are constantly being harrassed by co workers and aquaintences for being too affectionate! For god's sake, all the do is sit next to each other and occasionally touch each other on the arm or knee!

If was a straight couple, no one would even notice...have any other gay people around here noticed this problem? I mean, all Curtis has to do is just tap Dennis on the elbow and people that know them are freaking out! "Ewww...do ya'll have to be so gay in public? That's so gross and creepy!" I just think the whole thing is ridiculous!

Now when they are at home,they are very affectionate and it doesn't bother me a bit (in fact, I think its really hot.) So I know that they would LIKE to be more affectionate in public but are scared to.

So, gay folks: Are you affectionate in public? How do people respond to it? Do strangers ever make comments to you about it?

Are my friends just dealing with all this because we live in a such a small back woods town?

 

[deezire1900]

This thread breaks my heart...

 

[white_mage_goddess]

If reading about it is sad, you see what its like living it! I've been best friends with this guy since high school....he's the sweetest and smartest guy you would ever meet and just gets treated like crap around here. The people who DON"T treat him like crap, just refuse to believe he's gay. "Curtis isn't gay...that's just a gimmick." He's had several co -workers who INSIST that he and I are dating even after I point blank tell them "Curtis is GAY. Deal with it. He and I are NOT dating and never have! I have a boyfriend of my own!." And they're like "uh-huh...yeah sure. We know how it is!"

People in this backward town have almost convinced themselves that gay people are fantasy creatures that don't really exist. "But I thought gay people only existed in movies and new york!!!!"

 

[College_geek]

People in this backward town have almost convinced themselves that gay people are fantasy creatures that don't really exist. "But I thought gay people only existed in movies and new york!!!!"

The sad thing is that I think a lot of people feel this way, especially if they've never been exposed to an openly gay couple. Like Deezire, it breaks my heart.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Where I'm From

My lady and I can walk down the street holding hands but we get things like "You sure you don't need a little extra to help you 2 out?" It's my experience that it's more acceptable for 2 girls to be out in public then it is for two guys...which is utter bullshit.

I have had friends screamed on, harrassed, threatened hell even a few fights , for being publicly affectionate with their SO's. It pisses me off no end. After all, no one makes a fuss if a hetero couple wants to kiss in public, what's the difference?

I feel for your friend, but for the record, I don't believe it is just where you live. Time's are changing but gods it seems to me that the change is long over due..

pet

 

[College_geek]

Re: Where I'm From

I have had friends screamed on, harrassed, threatened hell even a few fights , for being publicly affectionate with their SO's. It pisses me off no end. After all, no one makes a fuss if a hetero couple wants to kiss in public, what's the difference?

Heteros are allowed to get away with a lot in public. Holding hands is tame. Depending on what public place you're at, you can see hetero couples making out or groping and such, but no one will even look twice. But when two people of the same gender hold hands...and maybe they're just friends...people freak out.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

my best girlfriend and I walk down the street with our arms linked, or holding hands often, and when we see each other or say goodbye, we hug, and kiss each other twice (y'know, one on each cheek type of thing). We get screamed at for THAT, in our home town (she still lives there, I don't).

It's not that we're lesbians (I'm bi, but she's straight, and it would NEVER be like that between us), it's that we're like sisters. We've known each other for 20 years (and we're 22).. we grew up together, we've bonded. *shrug* And we get shat on for it.

Here in my city, we'd be invisible for that kind of thing. (edited to explain): my city has a rather huge gay population, comparatively. No one turns heads at gay people here.. I notice them, but generally it's because I like their clothes, or think they're sweet... and I check everyone out.. I'm plain old nosey. But the general public just accepts us here.

 

[Rhys]

I am not big on public displays of affection, but then again, that is the way I was raised. (Think British conservative and you've got it)
I would not kiss a partner of either sex in public. Hand holding would be restricted to someplace private. I studiously ignore all other public displays from other couples around me, and it makes me uncomfortable, whether they are gay or straight. But, again, this has to do with my upbringing.

 

[glamorilla]

i make out wherever i want.

 

[white_mage_goddess]

I just find it so funny because these two guys are SO tame in their public affection! I mean, I have had some major public make out sessions with my SO and not gotten NEAR the attention Curtis gets from putting his hand on dennis's knee! The world is one screwed up, hypocritical place!

 

[John Doe]

I've heard people complain about PDAs in general, not just same sex activity.

 

[Netzach]

I'm not huge on people's overtly sexual PDA's, they are just gross.

I think there should be an ordinance preventing me from having to look at anyone sticking a tongue down a throat on the sunny sidewalk.

Holding hands or caressing a cheek, or brief kisses are sweet and should be equal opportunity, of course.

 

[madmanmike]

this is how it is most places. if 2 straight people kiss it isnt noticed. people dont give it a second thought. but if 2 men kiss it cathes the eye and can make people do a double take to make sure what they saw was real. you also have to consider that half of america is concervative and even alot of liberals arnt big fans of homosexuality.


btw i recently went to my first gay club with a friend of mine who is bisexual. she had to tell everyone who asked that she was a lesbian because if she said she was bi the guys would be like "OH MY GOD..... wheres your gf?? you guys need any company??" stupid shit like that. also a guy dancing behind me asked if i was her bf and she said she was lesbian. he got all excited and told her "well in that case give me the hook up" she said i was taken(im not) but it was nice to be wanted.

 

[white_mage_goddess]

I LOVE going to gay clubs. They are so much more fun and laid back than straight clubs!

 

[It'sasecret]

I have to admit if I see a same sex couple showing PDA I may do a double take. NOT at all b/c I think it is wrong etc... It is just something I am not used to seeing. While I don't care for overtly displays of affection (gay or otherwise) I think same sex couples should have the same freedoms.

 

[madmanmike]

I LOVE going to gay clubs. They are so much more fun and laid back than straight clubs!

that was the first thing i noticed except for the drag queens.(it was gay prom night) but everyone was laid back and not one single poerson was being a dick or starting fights or anything. plus the music wasnt bad. it was a pop/techno mix and almost no rap. i loathe rap music.

 

[John Doe]

I think the reason some people look is not disapproval or homohphobia, but just curiosity. Considering that approximately 10% of the human population is homosexual, it stands to reason that same sex PDAs are less commonplace than hetero PDAs, so people look. It has more to do with our voyueristic tendencies in some cases than with any homophobia IMO.

But like I said, in my experience people notice and look at PDAs either way.

Personally I don't really mind seeing them, although I'm occasionally envious.

 

[ExistentialLuv]

PJ and I are affectionate in public. Hold hands, hug, kiss, and occasionally I will slap her ass. This has never been a problem for us around family, friends, or the public till last week.


Now I am Boycoting this campground

Knox Butte RV Park
Albany, OR

They do not like our type of people

 

[alli_cat]

PJ and I are affectionate in public. Hold hands, hug, kiss, and occasionally I will slap her ass. This has never been a problem for us around family, friends, or the public till last week.


Now I am Boycoting this campground

Knox Butte RV Park
Albany, OR

They do not like our type of people

Please tell? What happened there?

 

[ExistentialLuv]

Please tell? What happened there?

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=247371

Here is the link




Believe me, this is far from over.

 

[alli_cat]

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=247371

Here is the link




Believe me, this is far from over.

Wow, that really is extraordinary. Even in our crappy little town, I can't imagine that happening

 

[headstrong69]

a sad thing

i think that if hetero couples can get away with eating each other's faces in public, why can't a gay couple even hold hands?

i've decided to stop playing into the bullshit, and just go ahead with my pdas.
it may cause trouble, but no skin off my back if some bigot has a problem with me holding my boyfriend's hand while we're just taking a walk

sry to say, everyone can't do this, but i refuse to act like i'm doing something shameful. i'd like to think of it as a new version of the "sit ins" of the past

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I think location is a big factor. I reside in the deep south and am in a long distance relationship with a woman from the New England area. We're not into mad groping and deep-throating in public but feel free to walk arm in arm up north. Here? Not so much. I couldn't care less about the public's reaction to hand holding and what not, but I do have a problem with strangers interrupting our (very limited) time together. So we generally avoid too much public affection in the interest of keeping our time spent together in a positive light.

It goes against many things inside me that cry out for equality, but the bottom line for us is being together and being happy. It wouldn't do for someone to cross the line with me in public. The only thing I'd accomplish is making my girl (a very non-confrontational person) uncomfortable and unhappy. That being said, I don't go completely out of my way to make everyone else comfortable at our expense. When I see her at the airport after a separation, I don't hold back with the polite 'hello' kiss, the 'gawd, I've missed you' caress of her face and the long-lasting 'I want you' hugs.

My advice to Dennis & Curtis would be to agree that they weren't hurting anyone by sitting beside one another and touching an elbow here and there. When naysayers fail to get a reaction out of them (and everyone else) they'll be able to move past it.

~lucky

 

[John Doe]

I'm a little bothered by public affection in general, depending on the intensity (or did I already say that?).

I don't mind touching, hugging, kissing, even a little groping, but if they're sucking face and falling all over each other, practically having outercourse, then it's a little awkward and uncomfortable...unless it's a club or resort with a more sexual theme. Then I might like it.

 

[kbate]

I'm a little bothered by public affection in general, depending on the intensity.

We hold hands, walk with our arms linked, put hands in each others pockets, hug, and kiss in public. I don't find these actions offensive even if some of the more homophobic people do object to them.

Anything more sexual is for the bedroom, or at least for behind closed doors.