G
S
ShamelessFlirt
Guest
If someone breaks a promise to me I don't really do anything.
But I don't forget either. And if I'm not worth keeping a promise to, I don't extend myself for them either.
But I don't forget either. And if I'm not worth keeping a promise to, I don't extend myself for them either.
lisalove
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2002
- Posts
- 938
Wow. What a promise-breaking bitch. jk.
I would not depend on her again. If she 'promises' something, tell her straight out that your daughter has been so disappointed in the past by her not following through, so if she shows up -great, if not, no problem because no one is expecting her to.
Don't worry so much that she might fly off the handle, what she's doing is disrespectful and she needs to know it's not acceptable.
Good Luck.
I would not depend on her again. If she 'promises' something, tell her straight out that your daughter has been so disappointed in the past by her not following through, so if she shows up -great, if not, no problem because no one is expecting her to.
Don't worry so much that she might fly off the handle, what she's doing is disrespectful and she needs to know it's not acceptable.
Good Luck.
His_kitty
Reborn into kitty
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2002
- Posts
- 5,263
It's easier for me to handle a broken promise that is made to me only - but when they are made and broken, repeatedly, to my family -- especially my child -- I get terribly upset.
You might try writing her an old fashioned letter or an email telling her how her broken promises are effecting those that you love, and those that she loves. Come from an angle that isn't accusatory or even self righteous, you might want to let her know that you understand how hard it is doing what she does. How time consuming it is (because farming isn't an eight hour job, often it's twenty-four hours), tell her how much you love her, how much your daughter loves her aunt, and how you all love spending time with her. Maybe focusing on the positives will have her see that ya'll really do enjoy her.
I hope that it works out, and your daughter gets to spend some time with her this summer -- I was extremely close to my aunt and adored spending time with her over the summer.
Good luck !
You might try writing her an old fashioned letter or an email telling her how her broken promises are effecting those that you love, and those that she loves. Come from an angle that isn't accusatory or even self righteous, you might want to let her know that you understand how hard it is doing what she does. How time consuming it is (because farming isn't an eight hour job, often it's twenty-four hours), tell her how much you love her, how much your daughter loves her aunt, and how you all love spending time with her. Maybe focusing on the positives will have her see that ya'll really do enjoy her.
I hope that it works out, and your daughter gets to spend some time with her this summer -- I was extremely close to my aunt and adored spending time with her over the summer.
Good luck !
G
Guest
Guest
G
Guest
Guest
Personally I try to keep all of my promises and expect the same from people who promise me things. But the world ain't perfect so you gotta roll with the waves.
penguindance
Tingly all over...
- Joined
- May 2, 2002
- Posts
- 6,461
AnnaB
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- May 22, 2002
- Posts
- 303
Can I join that club too? I thought I was the only one with a sister that bad...
Lucious I went through this with my sister too only I wound up telling her off...it helped for a couple of months and then she was right back to her old tricks...I even tried the other way of pointing out the positives before that but it fell on deaf ears.
Unfortunately my sister has the attitude that we owe her and if she wants to show up she will...basically I said screw it and don't let it bother me once I left and moved to Texas. Gave her a damn good reason not to keep her promises to me. The one I hurt for is our mother and the constant promises that she is going to see her and then doesn't and guess who hears it all! *sighs* Oh well that's what I get for being the eldest I guess.
Hang in there and I hope yours turns out better than mine did.
Lucious I went through this with my sister too only I wound up telling her off...it helped for a couple of months and then she was right back to her old tricks...I even tried the other way of pointing out the positives before that but it fell on deaf ears.
Unfortunately my sister has the attitude that we owe her and if she wants to show up she will...basically I said screw it and don't let it bother me once I left and moved to Texas. Gave her a damn good reason not to keep her promises to me. The one I hurt for is our mother and the constant promises that she is going to see her and then doesn't and guess who hears it all! *sighs* Oh well that's what I get for being the eldest I guess.
Hang in there and I hope yours turns out better than mine did.
G
Guest
Guest
ksmybuttons
Push and Pull
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2001
- Posts
- 30,254
We must need a flakey sister club.
My sister was always promising. I know she wanted to do the things she said but she couldn't follow through, for what ever reason.
She would make the promises because she wanted to be cool, she wanted to be liked, she thought it was what people expected.
Her intentions were good. Her followthrough non-existant.
I take her for what she is now. I don't do anything to extract promises. When she contacts me I am happy to hear from her but have no expectations. None. If she says she will do something, I never count on it.
I am hurt less and it seems to work for her. She lives about 4 hours away and I haven't seen her more than a handful of times in the past 15 years. My brother, whom I am in close contact with, didn't tell her when he had a son 2 years ago. Why? Because he didn't want to hear promises she wouldn't keep.
Who lost? I think she did.
My sister was always promising. I know she wanted to do the things she said but she couldn't follow through, for what ever reason.
She would make the promises because she wanted to be cool, she wanted to be liked, she thought it was what people expected.
Her intentions were good. Her followthrough non-existant.
I take her for what she is now. I don't do anything to extract promises. When she contacts me I am happy to hear from her but have no expectations. None. If she says she will do something, I never count on it.
I am hurt less and it seems to work for her. She lives about 4 hours away and I haven't seen her more than a handful of times in the past 15 years. My brother, whom I am in close contact with, didn't tell her when he had a son 2 years ago. Why? Because he didn't want to hear promises she wouldn't keep.
Who lost? I think she did.
cindylouwho64
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2002
- Posts
- 186
Hi LL - I'm only a newbie here but I've been in that situation before too and what I did was call my sister and had a heart to heart with her on the phone without getting pissed (thou that was really hard!!). She took it all really well and didn't realize how much of a selfish bitch she was being and really tried harder and turned it all around.
I can take it when someone breaks a promise to me - but she was hurting and upsetting my mom (god rest her soul now), and I just couldn't take that anymore - nobody hurts either my children or when they were alive, my parents and got away with it!
Hang in there - there's always one in every family!
I can take it when someone breaks a promise to me - but she was hurting and upsetting my mom (god rest her soul now), and I just couldn't take that anymore - nobody hurts either my children or when they were alive, my parents and got away with it!
Hang in there - there's always one in every family!
Shy Tall Guy
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2001
- Posts
- 5,735
I am usually very serious about keeping my comittments, sometimes I forget very minor little things I promised to strangers, like sending them some info they asked for on a mailing list. At the same time, when I go to visit my family in Oregon, I rarely visit my little brother who is always there. Why? Because my daughter is there, and she takes priority over everybody else, and I visit my parents too. By the time the weekend is over I have not time left for my brother and his family. I maybe see them once a year even though I am in town about half a dozen times. But then I never made any promises in that regard.
I place a high priority on doing what I said I was going to do, but some people don't, and they don't think other people do either. I don't care if they are siblings, sometimes it just is better to distance yourself if they are continually hurting you and your family. If they never follow through, then everybody should stop asking for committments. Maybe eventually she will notice she is no longer being asked to family functions, and that people aren't talking to her. When she asks why, tell her that she never comes anyway, and she is always breaking promises, and that people are tired of being let down, so they just stopped asking.
I doubt it would work on a family wide basis as I doubt everybody would agree to do it. I kind of doubt it would make a difference in her behavior either. My ex-wife was that way about attending any of my family functions; even after our separation and divorce, my family tried to include her in our family functions. She always refused. Eventually I stopped passing along the invitations, and my family usually stopped asking when I always told them what her answer would be. She asked me a couple of times why she wasn't invited, and I flat out told her that it was because she always snubbed their invitations. She said it was nice to be asked though, even though she hates my family - what a mixed up person!
I place a high priority on doing what I said I was going to do, but some people don't, and they don't think other people do either. I don't care if they are siblings, sometimes it just is better to distance yourself if they are continually hurting you and your family. If they never follow through, then everybody should stop asking for committments. Maybe eventually she will notice she is no longer being asked to family functions, and that people aren't talking to her. When she asks why, tell her that she never comes anyway, and she is always breaking promises, and that people are tired of being let down, so they just stopped asking.
I doubt it would work on a family wide basis as I doubt everybody would agree to do it. I kind of doubt it would make a difference in her behavior either. My ex-wife was that way about attending any of my family functions; even after our separation and divorce, my family tried to include her in our family functions. She always refused. Eventually I stopped passing along the invitations, and my family usually stopped asking when I always told them what her answer would be. She asked me a couple of times why she wasn't invited, and I flat out told her that it was because she always snubbed their invitations. She said it was nice to be asked though, even though she hates my family - what a mixed up person!
Similar threads
