Ranters and Rambling uh ers

[IhateClowns]

So my old thread and a few others were removed by my request and I decided that since everything has calmed down with the guy who was harassing us I decided to start a new one. I wasn't sure if he was aware of lit or not at the time, but apparently he isn't aware so I feel comfortable coming back.

This is for the people that want to say a bit more then a typical blurt. It can be about anything and everything. Silly or serious. Think of it as your literotica blog thread. A place to make observations or bitch about life's daily occurrences.

Anyway I am back but I am unsure in what capacity. I think I was a bit too open about my personal life before and am going to curtail that quite a bit from now on. It only makes sense after this latest episode. I do miss this place though and the friends that I have made.

I have also decided to be quick triggered with the iggy button this time as well. I don't have the time nor patience to put up with anyone's bullshit anymore. I would hope you do the same with me if I bug or offend you in any way. As some know I tend to have a pretty extreme sense of humor and I know I have offended a few people so I kindly ask you just put me on ignore and go your separate way. There is plenty of room her for all of us.

Anyway I am glad to be back and look forward to getting to know some of the new people on here.

 

[goodgurlgetsbad]

welcome back IHC

 

[ucleebo]

You were gone?
Just kidding... Glad to see you back!

 

[IhateClowns]

The local OKC news is killing me. Yesterday being the 4th of July you would think that the news teases would be something patriotic. Maybe a tease about the fireworks show or the parade. Something like that.

No not OKC. This backwoods city's local channel 5 news teased during The Bachelorette that apparently there is a woman in OKC likes to be called thunder thighs. Seriously? Ok wait wait. I know the bachelorette? Yes being married I have to pick my battles. I have to sit through some shows like that so I can watch my sunday night HBO shows.

Anyway, are you kidding me? Freedom, liberty, fireworks, bbq's, parades, hot dog eating contests, all of that going on all day and they tease the big news story at 10pm is gonna be about Ms. Thunder Thighs? I say Ms. Because yu know any woman who loves to be called thunder thighs is quite single.

They need to put this on the Oklahoma welcoming signs. Home of Ms Thunder Thighs.

Fuck my life!

 

[IhateClowns]

welcome back IHC

Hey there. Thanks. Hope all is well.

 

[goodgurlgetsbad]

Hey there. Thanks. Hope all is well.

I went on silent awol too - just posting today -LOL

 

[LusterMunky]

look forward to getting to know some of the new people on here.

Oooops, I'm not a new people.

 

[newbiebabe]

Welcome back IHC..

 

[IhateClowns]

You were gone?
Just kidding... Glad to see you back!

Lol believe me I know I wasn't missed. I was gone just a couple of weeks is all. But for me that is a long time from here.

 

[IhateClowns]

Welcome back IHC..

Ty NB.

 

[Wings27]

I'm hijacking this thread, Clowns. Thank you!

Oh good, just when I need to rant! I have to say I am sick to death of dating and men. Maybe I'm just sick of dating men. I need to find a fun, attractive, sexy female to date for a while. That is a brand of crazy I can understand. Maybe a woman wouldn't seduce me with pretty words and presents and then never deliver the goods. Because God knows I'm not about presents, I'm about GOODS. Fantastic, sweaty, frantic, awesome goods.

I don't believe in romance, I believe in backing up what you say. Dating really sucks in this day and age. But I think we (the single people) can keep things from getting messed up even more by just being fair and honest. Even though I'm not really in to monogamy right now I'd certainly like to be one day.

Blah, sorry, life is hard and this is so dumb but I'm annoyed and hurt today. Tomorrow will be better.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Seeing IHC and this thread made me smile. I look forward to reading his writings again.

 

[Ellafun]

Honest to god (or whoever), I was just thinking today that I really missed IHC being on Lit, and "poof", there you are!!! So glad you're back! I didn't often post on your threads, but I'm a semi-silent fan, and I have also been away for a little while. It's hard to stay away from the really nice people on Lit.

As for rambling...I am bored out of my mind. If I don't get a job, a REAL salary-paying-type job soon, I'm going to drink myself into oblivion. I'm so bored I haven't even been able to write any good porn. THAT'S bored. I can't believe I just sat through The Wrath of Khan for the 750th time. sigh

 

[fungatorgurl101]

IHC you have been missed now you must come visit AG and I at the hot tub for proper greetings upon your return

 

[IhateClowns]

I don't understand certain fetishes that are out there. I mean don't get me wrong. To each their own, but to loose your shit over another persons feet? How about latex? I saw some guy likes balloons. It amazes me that an attractive woman with a nice body and a healthy sexual appetite isn't enough for some of these men. A guy with the ability to get an erection without popping 20 pills, has a job, and can bounce back in under 10 minutes isn't enough for these women.

No instead they need to have more. Don't get me wrong a nice foot massage can be lovely. I feels great but it doesn't make me rod up to the point I have to have her sit with her feet in the prayer hands position and fuck her ankles silly. How does that even work? I get the idea of a foot job but how is that pleasing? How is someone's rough calloused feet racking over your sensitive cock a good feeling?

What am I supposed to jam my size 13's up her twat for her to be able to get off? Great then I will have to fuck her gaper sideways to feel anything myself. I mean who wants other people's feet in their mouth? My feet are very sensitive. Any woman slides her tongue between my toes is lia le to lose a filling. I have no desire to thrown away good linens because you got a bloody lip while sliding your mouth over my pinky toe. How is that sexy? How is that erotic.

It isn't enough to watch porn. Look at your wife or GF naked in front of you. No you need to go to the birthday section and splurge on a package of balloons to get you off. What the fuck is that? Really? Last thing I remember when I rubbed a balloon on me it made my hair stand on end, the last thing I need is for my pubes to get any longer because it will just make my dick look smaller then it already is. No thanks.

I get that people are into weird kinks. I just don't get some of those kinks they are into. I am unsure where that mentality comes from. Were you a shoe salesman ina past life? Fuck could someone who has a foot fetish be a shoe salesman? Seriously. They would be tenting every time they size someone. Fucking creepy. Last think I need to see when buying new running shoes is someone's german army helmet pressing into their flat front Dockers.

Yeah I think I will just stick to the "normal" stuff. Begging and pleading for her to just touch it. Come on baby. Just tough it. I promise it won't bite you. Just touch it. Fuck. Hmmmm wonder what new porn I can find to jerk off to for the next 4 hours. Ooooo there nice. A guy sitting on some balloons foot fucking a midget.

Lovely.

 

[Wings27]

Midgets!!!


I do love a good midget story.

 

[DayMaker]

Oh, you rented that one too?



Welcome back, you were missed.

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

Welcome Back IHC!!!!

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

Once upon a time there was a happy little man driving his happy little car through the city they call the Magic City. He smiled and sang quietly to himself as he watched birds flirt and dash and danced along with the traffic on his way.

But then there came the sound of sirens and the happy little man looked back to see an Ambulance! He calmly pulled over to allow the vehicle the way of the road, its lights flashing and siren blaring imploringly. ....and no one else did.

AND NO ONE ELSE DID!!!

The little man was no longer happy, but consumed by a terrible rage. He yelled at the other drivers to get out of the way, even as the ambulance was forced to take a side street to get through. The little man asked the other drivers if they wanted to find out what it was like to ride in the back of an ambulance??!

The happy little man was filled with homicidal rage the rest of the day.

 

[Aquagal]

Welcome back, Clowns! You were missed!! I missed all your funny stories!

 

[newbiebabe]

A guy with the ability to get an erection without popping 20 pills, has a job, and can bounce back in under 10 minutes

I'll take one of these please...

 

[sereneone4u]

I don't understand certain fetishes that are out there. I mean don't get me wrong. To each their own, but to loose your shit over another persons feet? How about latex? I saw some guy likes balloons. It amazes me that an attractive woman with a nice body and a healthy sexual appetite isn't enough for some of these men. A guy with the ability to get an erection without popping 20 pills, has a job, and can bounce back in under 10 minutes isn't enough for these women.

No instead they need to have more. Don't get me wrong a nice foot massage can be lovely. I feels great but it doesn't make me rod up to the point I have to have her sit with her feet in the prayer hands position and fuck her ankles silly. How does that even work? I get the idea of a foot job but how is that pleasing? How is someone's rough calloused feet racking over your sensitive cock a good feeling?

What am I supposed to jam my size 13's up her twat for her to be able to get off? Great then I will have to fuck her gaper sideways to feel anything myself. I mean who wants other people's feet in their mouth? My feet are very sensitive. Any woman slides her tongue between my toes is lia le to lose a filling. I have no desire to thrown away good linens because you got a bloody lip while sliding your mouth over my pinky toe. How is that sexy? How is that erotic.

It isn't enough to watch porn. Look at your wife or GF naked in front of you. No you need to go to the birthday section and splurge on a package of balloons to get you off. What the fuck is that? Really? Last thing I remember when I rubbed a balloon on me it made my hair stand on end, the last thing I need is for my pubes to get any longer because it will just make my dick look smaller then it already is. No thanks.

I get that people are into weird kinks. I just don't get some of those kinks they are into. I am unsure where that mentality comes from. Were you a shoe salesman ina past life? Fuck could someone who has a foot fetish be a shoe salesman? Seriously. They would be tenting every time they size someone. Fucking creepy. Last think I need to see when buying new running shoes is someone's german army helmet pressing into their flat front Dockers.

Yeah I think I will just stick to the "normal" stuff. Begging and pleading for her to just touch it. Come on baby. Just tough it. I promise it won't bite you. Just touch it. Fuck. Hmmmm wonder what new porn I can find to jerk off to for the next 4 hours. Ooooo there nice. A guy sitting on some balloons foot fucking a midget.

Lovely.

lmao!

for a minute there with that "Come on baby. Just touch it" I thought you were my h...

 

[IhateClowns]

.......

 

[IhateClowns]

........

 

[mulehead61]

Um, so this will get someone put on the iggy list????


http://cdn.chillnite.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/bullshitgif.jpeg


Sorry Clowns, I couldn't resist.....lol