Rank and status difference between female characters.

[mish2mash]

I've been writing a military themed story series for the last while, and I'm struggling with some character development.

Two female soldiers one an officer and one enlisted. The enlisted soldier, is dedicated, loves the Army obeys orders without question, the Army is her life, she's attractive but with regards sex is conservative in every way.. The Officer is well educated from a wealthy background, but really is only in the military for the short term, she's capable but has a very casual outlook, she's also extremely promiscuous.

As often happens in a male dominated environment both female soldiers end up spending time together. The Officer is genuinely friendly towards the other and has a great deal of respect.

Anyway plot stuff happens, and the enlisted soldier essentially offers herself up to a group of men in place of the Officer. The thinking of the enlisted soldier being that it would make the Army look worse if an Officer had those things done to her.

So after all this happens the enlisted soldier becomes bitter and discovers that the Officer is still behaving in a way she regards as promiscuous. So there's a confrontation.

My problem is writing two female characters, where rank and social class is such a motivator.

Anyway I'm on my 4th revision and I'm wondering if there's something I'm missing. I welcome random ideas.

 

[DarkSollat]

Two female soldiers one an officer and one enlisted. The enlisted soldier, is dedicated, loves the Army obeys orders without question, the Army is her life, she's attractive but with regards sex is conservative in every way.. The Officer is well educated from a wealthy background, but really is only in the military for the short term, she's capable but has a very casual outlook, she's also extremely promiscuous.

Sorry, but this part isn't very beliveable. Hard to imagine someone getting to the Officer without dedication. I'd switch roles.

 

[PandemicReader8]

Sorry, but this part isn't very beliveable. Hard to imagine someone getting to the Officer without dedication. I'd switch roles.

Actually, this happens quite often, even among Ring Knockers. The officer in question is checking a box, maybe for political aspirations, maybe for family expectations. But it's not uncommon for officers to seperate as soon as they can after commissioning. They aren't fantasy characters, they're people.

 

[mish2mash]

Sorry, but this part isn't very beliveable. Hard to imagine someone getting to the Officer without dedication. I'd switch roles.

lol I think your nations military must have better recruitment practices.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

One huge gotcha involved is chain of command - does the enlisted report up thru the officer? IMO that could make a huge difference in risks

 

[LupusDei]

One huge gotcha involved is chain of command - does the enlisted report up thru the officer? IMO that could make a huge difference in risks

In case that seems to be hitting roadblocks, all kinds of political commissars are excellent for creating competitive parallel command chains and channels susceptible to miscommunication errors and suboptimal decisions influenced by priorities that really should have remained tertiary if not nonexistent.