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Random musings, thoughts, stuff.

Betticus

Betticus

FigDaddy!
Joined
Apr 9, 2004
Posts
12,240
Post it here. Share a random moment of your life with us.

I was walking through the kitchen today and I wondered if I am doing enough with my life. I felt old today, perhaps for the first time. I was sad. :(
 
Random moment from my life is, that life being a c*nt. For a few years already.

Pardon me i couldnt help it. :rolleyes:
 
When I was 13, I was sitting in my Humanities class, not really paying attention, and suddenly, completely out of nowhere, the realization hit me that I will never have the chance to be anyone else but me for my entire life. I will never, ever be able to see the world through someone else's eyes. I started crying and I had to leave class.

That was maybe the most random moment of my life.
 
Wow, that is a pretty profound thought for a 13 yr old, Syd. I know adults who still try to live someone else's life even now. Damn shame really.

My random thought: Nothing profound, honestly. Just that there is nothing holding this nomad in place right now other than a lease and a job. Both easily done away with actually. It's only (roughly) 2,450 miles.
 
SweetGigi said:
Wow, that is a pretty profound thought for a 13 yr old, Syd. I know adults who still try to live someone else's life even now. Damn shame really.

My random thought: Nothing profound, honestly. Just that there is nothing holding this nomad in place right now other than a lease and a job. Both easily done away with actually. It's only (roughly) 2,450 miles.
Click to expand...

Seriously! That's, like, deep and shit.
 
I may become a frequent contributor to this thread. Nice idea.

I feel so weird at the moment, because I spent a lot of time in the past year unearthing my sexual desires. Dusting off my sexual self. It has sort of felt like, oh, there you are! And it was quite the sexy sex year, know what I mean? But then in the past few weeks, I've been all business.

And that's felt great too, but different. I think life will settle back down to normal now, and be something of a balance, but ... I don't know, I can't quite put my finger on what this feeling is, but it is just strange to still be "the old me" - whatever that means - and also be the "new me" - again, whatever that means. In a way, I guess I'm settling into just being me, and it's so shockingly unshocking!
 
Random thought huh?

this was a blog written by my 12 year old at the time.. Brought me to tears..
Has anybody ever felt like they don't know where they belong? It's like everybody else seems to know who they are and you're just so lost, you think one person is somebody you like and they end up being somebody you hate...I feel like this sometimes, like your friends are also your enemies...Then there's the fact where sometimes, you feel like you have to hold things inside of yourself, when all you want to do is tell someone and cry?Like there's no one to run to...I feel so restricted sometimes, like people won't tell me the truth about things becasue they think it will hurt me...I hate feeling out of the loop, it's just who I am. I hate having to feel like I have to change things about myself if I want to keep some of my friends. I hate feeling that who I am isn't good enough.I hate change, how you feel like one person is your bestfriend one day and you feel like you don't even know who they are anymore. I hate that people are so judgemental to who I am or who other people are, it's our gosh dang choice! I hate how so many things have changed, how some standards have been lowered to what's ok and what's not...I hate if you don't wear $20.00 shirts and $30.00 pants that you're not cool...Who people are shouldn't be judged on the clothes they wear, that girls that are more than a size 2 are fat, that if you don't look like the girls on Tv or America's Next Top Model, you're not that pretty! We were not put on earth to judge eachother, hate eachother....we were all put on this Earth to love eachother... So before you judge somebody think about that!

:rose: She is FUCKING brilliant.. but what did I expect any less?
 
00Syd said:
When I was 13, I was sitting in my Humanities class, not really paying attention, and suddenly, completely out of nowhere, the realization hit me that I will never have the chance to be anyone else but me for my entire life. I will never, ever be able to see the world through someone else's eyes. I started crying and I had to leave class.

That was maybe the most random moment of my life.
Click to expand...

Beautiful. Seriously.

----

SweetGigi said:
Wow, that is a pretty profound thought for a 13 yr old, Syd. I know adults who still try to live someone else's life even now. Damn shame really.

My random thought: Nothing profound, honestly. Just that there is nothing holding this nomad in place right now other than a lease and a job. Both easily done away with actually. It's only (roughly) 2,450 miles.
Click to expand...

I would rather regret the things I've done, than regret the things I lacked the courage to do.

:rose:

----

My random thought? I have learned just a bit what other people feel. I have newfound sympathy for my fellow man. It's not going to change how I act, mind you, it just means that I understand a bit better. And I get why some people despise me, and why some treat me so differently from others in their lives.
 
SweetGigi said:
Wow, that is a pretty profound thought for a 13 yr old, Syd. I know adults who still try to live someone else's life even now. Damn shame really.

My random thought: Nothing profound, honestly. Just that there is nothing holding this nomad in place right now other than a lease and a job. Both easily done away with actually. It's only (roughly) 2,450 miles.
Click to expand...

I agree with Homburg's advice. And you're young and have no major obligations tying you to the area you're in. Plus, California rocks - go for it.
 
intothewoods said:
I may become a frequent contributor to this thread. Nice idea.

I feel so weird at the moment, because I spent a lot of time in the past year unearthing my sexual desires. Dusting off my sexual self. It has sort of felt like, oh, there you are! And it was quite the sexy sex year, know what I mean? But then in the past few weeks, I've been all business.

And that's felt great too, but different. I think life will settle back down to normal now, and be something of a balance, but ... I don't know, I can't quite put my finger on what this feeling is, but it is just strange to still be "the old me" - whatever that means - and also be the "new me" - again, whatever that means. In a way, I guess I'm settling into just being me, and it's so shockingly unshocking!
Click to expand...


You know, you are one of the most inspirational people I know on this board. I have watched you grow and come into your own thru your posts and rantings and I have to say that I very much enjoy what I read. Seeing your transformation is not only motivation to continue to search my own soul, but it also shows me I don't have to compromise the amazing person I am to do so. You, my dear, rock and I couldn't be any more proud of you if I tried.

--------------------------------------------------------

SubKekiLee said:
Has anybody ever felt like they don't know where they belong? It's like everybody else seems to know who they are and you're just so lost, you think one person is somebody you like and they end up being somebody you hate...I feel like this sometimes, like your friends are also your enemies...Then there's the fact where sometimes, you feel like you have to hold things inside of yourself, when all you want to do is tell someone and cry?Like there's no one to run to...I feel so restricted sometimes, like people won't tell me the truth about things becasue they think it will hurt me...I hate feeling out of the loop, it's just who I am. I hate having to feel like I have to change things about myself if I want to keep some of my friends. I hate feeling that who I am isn't good enough.I hate change, how you feel like one person is your bestfriend one day and you feel like you don't even know who they are anymore. I hate that people are so judgemental to who I am or who other people are, it's our gosh dang choice! I hate how so many things have changed, how some standards have been lowered to what's ok and what's not...I hate if you don't wear $20.00 shirts and $30.00 pants that you're not cool...Who people are shouldn't be judged on the clothes they wear, that girls that are more than a size 2 are fat, that if you don't look like the girls on Tv or America's Next Top Model, you're not that pretty! We were not put on earth to judge eachother, hate eachother....we were all put on this Earth to love eachother... So before you judge somebody think about that!
Click to expand...

Whether you know it or not this blog has hit the head a fact that has been underlying for weeks now. I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. If that earns me supporters, so be it. If it earns me haters, then so be it. I will NEVER try to change the basis of who I am to please another person (or persons) again. I am good people damn it, and anyone who really knows me knows this.
No one is EVER in a place to pass judgment on anyone else, PERIOD. I don't care who 'you' (a generalized you- not a directive you) are, what 'you' think you know or what 'you' have been told by an outside party, NO one is set on this earth to pass judgment on anyone else. It is interesting how we, as a race, become self appointed 'experts' on the lives of other people. We aren't even experts at our OWN lives much less the lives of others. There is no way someone else can know 'me', my life or those in my life better than me, ESPECIALLY if 'you' are not a part of my life in the first place (or any more).
I always try to give the benefit of the doubt. I always try to be fair, and I always try to be rational. SOMETIMES it doesn't work, but that is what this life is all about, right? Living, learning, laughing and loving. 'To err is human, but to forgive is divine'. 'Hate the sin but love the sinner'. 'To thine own self be true'. Mantras I live by, and will own for the rest of my life. I think this girl is on the right path. Lets hope her mindset is contagious.

-----------------------------------------------

Homburg said:
I would rather regret the things I've done, than regret the things I lacked the courage to do.

:rose:

----

My random thought? I have learned just a bit what other people feel. I have newfound sympathy for my fellow man. It's not going to change how I act, mind you, it just means that I understand a bit better. And I get why some people despise me, and why some treat me so differently from others in their lives.
Click to expand...

Thanks... and.... I'm proud of you. :)

---------------------------------------------

intothewoods said:
I agree with Homburg's advice. And you're young and have no major obligations tying you to the area you're in. Plus, California rocks - go for it.
Click to expand...

Hehe, that is what I hear at any rate. We will see. :D

---------------------------------------------

00Syd said:
:eek: I have my moments!
Click to expand...

No, my dear, you have more than 'just moments'. You are simply fabulous.
 
It's finally happened. I sneezed my brains out. That's the only explanation for how STUPID I am. :mad:
 
intothewoods said:
I may become a frequent contributor to this thread. Nice idea.

I feel so weird at the moment, because I spent a lot of time in the past year unearthing my sexual desires. Dusting off my sexual self. It has sort of felt like, oh, there you are! And it was quite the sexy sex year, know what I mean? But then in the past few weeks, I've been all business.

And that's felt great too, but different. I think life will settle back down to normal now, and be something of a balance, but ... I don't know, I can't quite put my finger on what this feeling is, but it is just strange to still be "the old me" - whatever that means - and also be the "new me" - again, whatever that means. In a way, I guess I'm settling into just being me, and it's so shockingly unshocking!
Click to expand...

Maybe when I grow up I'll be itw ... :rose:

Oh wait ... What did 00Syd say? that I cannot be someone else? darn ... :rolleyes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

too many random thoughts ... to little time ...
 
rida said:
Maybe when I grow up I'll be itw ... :rose:

Oh wait ... What did 00Syd say? that I cannot be someone else? darn ... :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

sucks, huh?

When I was a kid I used to imagine what it would be like if I was a different species, a dog or a horse or something. I wouldn't just act like one, but try to actually think the thoughts that I thought a horse might be thinking. I could never do it, my thoughts always being human (obviously) and it was always just so frustrating.

Sometimes I feel trapped in my body.

I know what I am, I know myself intimately, I know how things feel to my hands, I know what things sound like to my ears, and I know what things look like through my eyes. And that is all I will ever be able to know.

What if someone else sees colors differently? And I don't just mean people who are color blind, but what if 'you' see red differently than how I see red? What if the color red to 'you' is slightly more orange than how I see it.

I hate not knowing
 
What if the only reason "CAT" means cat and "DOG" means dog is because someone won the best two out of three of rock, paper scissors?

Sometimes I lie awake at night and try to think of what it'll be like to cease to exist yet that the world go on and realize that for billions and billions of people and beings, it wont mean a thing. One day, this mind, this.. being.. will no longer interact with the world.
 
00Syd said:
.....

I know what I am, I know myself intimately, I know how things feel to my hands, I know what things sound like to my ears, and I know what things look like through my eyes. And that is all I will ever be able to know.

What if someone else sees colors differently? And I don't just mean people who are color blind, but what if 'you' see red differently than how I see red? What if the color red to 'you' is slightly more orange than how I see it.

I hate not knowing
Click to expand...

The bolded part? It is probably the reason why sometime people get dressed in impossibly horrible color combinations ... :rolleyes:

I too always felt fascinated by the idea that you don't see what I see, you don't hear what I hear and so on.

But what I hate not knowing is: how this world is going to end.
I don't care about dieing. It is just that I don't want to miss the end of the show.
 
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