Ramble about porn

[griffinharas]

Edited

 

[rob35can]

We watch porn together
That can lead to fun and it gives each other an idea of what turns us both on.

For example who knew such "proper" mom and wife like watching DP

 

[doctorsleaze]

I've been exploring the realms of literotica for the past couple of months and finding that I love reading erotica, but I've never actually watched porn before.. Well, until now.. And it's great!

I've always been brought up with the idea that watching it is wrong and have realised that I've hurt my bf by not being as open minded as I should be. I mean, I'm open minded sexwise.. It's just that porn always was a nono .

So yes, after talking, my guy suggested some sites and left me be for a while.. And returned to find me being a very happy griffin. He wont listen to my apologies for not understanding that it was a good thing and he's being very nice about it all. I just wish I'd realised sooner, it would of saved a lot of heartache.

I feel such a hypocrite and just wanted to ramble about it sorry! I just truelly wish that things like this weren't as taboo to me, it would make it easier to accept that I like it and stop me fretting.

I also am very thankful that I have a fantastic bf who definatly puts up with me

Has anyone else ever had an experience about this or have you always been pretty okay with watching porn?

Not sure why you should need to apologise to him about not wanting to do it and then changing your mind... sounds like he should be grateful that you should be willing to explore and experiment. If you think he's a fantastic bf then that's great; if he makes you feel you're putting up with him then I'm not so sure...

I suppose my question would be why you didn't like porn originally - was it because it just didn't appeal, or was it that you had a moral objection? If it was the latter, then now that you find it turns you on, do you struggle with the conflict between enjoying something you feel is wrong? I certainly don't think you should worry about finding things taboo - on one level it makes things all the more exciting when we do them - and on another it helps us set boundaries that we can live with. BTW To answer your question, no, I've not always been OK with looking at porn.

Enjoy!

 

[polly_puppet]

i likey the porn.

 

[griffinharas]

Edited

 

[griffinharas]

Edited

 

[katbound]

I grew up with few hang-ups, if any. I was taught that the body is a thing of beauty to be admired in different ways- artistically, sexually, etc.

My father read Playboy openly and that bothered me, as a young girl. I didn't understand why he was looking at the naked women in the magazine and I don't believe the articles were really that good!

I think pornograpy, especially for a female exposed to it at an early age before she has a strong sense of self/identity, can be confusing. As she matures, she is bombarded with images from the media, societal mores, peer group expectations, and what the adults in her life expect of her, and she must discern between positive and negative portrayls of the feminine while she decides who she wants to be and who she really is.

As adults, our views toward porn are shaped by not only our childhood experiences but the mores and norms of the society in which we live. Just compare the States with Europe in terms of sexuality and what is acceptable vs. what is not acceptable and you see the difference.

Because porn is accesible to most anyone, I think it is more difficult in a way, because the decision is left up to us, the individual. We need to make the decision whether or not we are comfortable with porn, either viewing it alone or with a partner. If we are not comfortable and we're not sure why we're not comfortable, I think we need to look inward and examine from where the discomfort is coming. Easier said than done, I know.

These are just my views and not necessarily those of Western society. Interesting thread topic and glad you started it, griffinharas.

 

[FrenchMustard]

Porn bothers me because there is a lot that is really shady about how it is made. Models can be just completely exploited (in a financial sense--I'm not arguing that all porn is exploitation, or that there aren't plenty of porn actors that are happy with their lives). In particular, I am really, really bothered that mainstream porn refuses to make their models use condoms. It is really, really fucked up that people can lose their jobs because they insist on using condoms, considering that there are STDs that cannot be detected by lab tests. From a worker safety perspective, it is just completely wrong, and a risk that you would not expect any worker to be exposed to when there is such an obvious safety measure. Also, I'm baffled about deep unlubricated man on woman anal sex being commonplace and expected and exciting, but a guy giving another guy a blowjob being the most disgusting and unheard of thing in the world, especially in the context of my life with pervy folk.

That said, I'm not really inherently bothered by porn. I just vastly prefer stuff that is either obviously made and owned by the participants, or stuff where the producer is able to establish some modicum of credibility as a person who respects worker rights.

 

[doctorsleaze]

I didn't like porn originally because it didn't appeal but also I thought that the idea of watching other people have sex was wrong, as it's a private intimate thing. So yeah, there's abit of conflict about my enjoying it but I'm hoping with time and more experience I'll get used to it etc. Thanks for giving me your opinions, it really does help having other people's views on it. And I'm glad that not everyone is instantly ok with porn, thanks

Something that's both good and bad about porn depending on your viewpoint is that it's use can be selfish, self-indulgent and about specifically your pleasure rather than anyone elses'. Whether your horny, bored, fed up, bad day at work, or indeed feeling like a million dollars you can go off on your own and enjoy it. Like alcohol, tobacco or similar pleasure-giving products it's probably not a good idea to look at it every hour of every day (lol), but just relax and enjoy and ease off it if it makes you uncomfortable. When you say that you hope with time and experience you'll get used to it I do hope it's becasuse you want to do this, and not because you feel obliged to watch it by your bf, friends, peers etc. Setting aside issues of industry exploitation etc (probably valid observations - but I'm not an expert) and just thinking about the use of porn - it's use is meant to be about pleasure - yours!

 

[doctorsleaze]

Porn bothers me because there is a lot that is really shady about how it is made.

Take your point....

I don't think I'm meant to post website links here so rather than do so - try googling Anna Span or annaspansdiary. She is a UK porn director and her website states:


"Originally, Anna was anti-porn, believing it to be an area in which men were given free reign to subjugate the woman for their own needs. This was during the late 80's at the height of the 'ban the top shelf' campaign led by Clare Short in the UK. She then had 'a moment of clarity' walking down Old Compton Street in the red light district of Soho, London. She deconstructed her feeling of anger, asked herself why she felt this way and found the honest answer was jealousy. She was jealous that men had their Soho. The society in which we lived considered men's desires worthy and was happy to invest money to cater for them. What was missing was the equivalent - but very different in content/style - for women. Why shouldn't a woman have the subconscious confidence to know that even if she doesn't personally want to use porn, the world in which she lives recognises that she might want to and has a right to do so?"


Although she markets to women I have to say that I saw "Hug a Hoodie" which is an award-winner and was so well-made and produced and, frankly, so much less boring than many videos..... don't smirk, but it's entertaining, humorous and (gasp!) there are actually plots that engage rather than zzzz another half hour of random rutting....!

 

[doctorsleaze]

Just compare the States with Europe in terms of sexuality and what is acceptable vs. what is not acceptable and you see the difference.

Do you want to go first with the comparison?

 

[CarpeDiem66]

I was exposed to porn pretty early and for a long time I was really into it. As I got older, however, I began to realize how unrealistic commercial porn really is. Isn't it every teenagers dream to "fuck like a porn star"? When I realized that the reality of sex is much different than that my opinions about porn changed. I still do find some commercial porn exciting/stimulating, but I find the spontaneous sexuality like you find here at Lit much more so. Real people with real looking bodies sharing pleasure with like minded people. For me at least, that is an incredible turn on.

 

[doctorsleaze]

Isn't it every teenagers dream to "fuck like a porn star"?

By implication that sounds like porn as movies rather than still photography etc.

I wonder what impact the technological changes - magazines to TV and video; video to the internet etc hav had on our sex lives (solo and with others). It almost feels like because porn is so easy to get on the net it ups the stakes in what it takes to excite, arouse and satisfy...

There was a piece in FHM or Maxim - it may have been tongue in cheek but it struck a chord - 10 years ago you'd get off to your own fantasies, imagination, and a couple of centrefolds would get you there... with the ease of access on the internet this guy had got used to the volume of external stimuli, and all the fantasies and recollecations of past experiences just didnt do it for him any more......

 

[CarpeDiem66]

By implication that sounds like porn as movies rather than still photography etc.

I wonder what impact the technological changes - magazines to TV and video; video to the internet etc hav had on our sex lives (solo and with others). It almost feels like because porn is so easy to get on the net it ups the stakes in what it takes to excite, arouse and satisfy...

There was a piece in FHM or Maxim - it may have been tongue in cheek but it struck a chord - 10 years ago you'd get off to your own fantasies, imagination, and a couple of centrefolds would get you there... with the ease of access on the internet this guy had got used to the volume of external stimuli, and all the fantasies and recollecations of past experiences just didnt do it for him any more......

I definitely agree with that. Technology has affected porn in the same way it has affected other aspects of our lives. Remember when you actually had to get up off the couch, walk across the living room, and physically turn the knob to change the channel on the TV? Now most of us simply won't watch TV if we can't find the remote. In the case of porn, I think many people have become desensitized to it due to the ease in which technology delivers it to us. You can reach a point where even the external stimuli fails to excite you any more.

 

[pumpdaddy]

I've been exploring the realms of literotica for the past couple of months and finding that I love reading erotica, but I've never actually watched porn before.. Well, until now.. And it's great!

I've always been brought up with the idea that watching it is wrong and have realised that I've hurt my bf by not being as open minded as I should be. I mean, I'm open minded sexwise.. It's just that porn always was a nono .

So yes, after talking, my guy suggested some sites and left me be for a while.. And returned to find me being a very happy griffin. He wont listen to my apologies for not understanding that it was a good thing and he's being very nice about it all. I just wish I'd realised sooner, it would of saved a lot of heartache.

I feel such a hypocrite and just wanted to ramble about it sorry! I just truelly wish that things like this weren't as taboo to me, it would make it easier to accept that I like it and stop me fretting.

I also am very thankful that I have a fantastic bf who definatly puts up with me

Has anyone else ever had an experience about this or have you always been pretty okay with watching porn?

Hell your a woman, thats how most of them act, you are normal, have fun with it.