Quit Masturbating, Changed My Life and Hers

[RipRespon]

So for almost 15 years (around when I hit 40) I've had issues getting and keeping an erection, except when jerking off. I figured it had something to do with my age and my daily masturbation routine, and I tried quitting for a week or two but it made no difference. My sex life with my current wife had slowed dramatically to almost nothing in the last 3 years and even though she was in her early 40's a second sexual awakening never looked like it would hit her.

Then 3 months ago, I completely stopped jerking off and looking at porn for a full month. Suddenly my dick started getting hard like I was a teenager, easily and all the time! This turned on my wife who couldn't keep her hands off it and now she's finally hit her 40's sexual awakening. We're now having sex like teenagers. She, of course, has way more sexual desire than me, so for the first time in her life she's using vibrators and dildos masturbating several times a day, reading my sex stories, and sending all kinds of pics to my phone.

Has anyone else done this or want to try and get back to me? I've got to say, giving up pron has been more than worth it.

 

[pplwatching]

.....

 

[RipRespon]

[/QUOTE]
So, I think it's complicated - but I think there's something to it. It's like snacking all day and then not being hungry at dinner time. You can still eat, but it's not the same as when you're really hungry - even when it's your favorite meal.[/QUOTE]

My wife’s simultaneous awakening has definitely helped out my situation. For years I too took erection aids like viagra to help but the side effects are horrendous and at times that even didn’t solve the problem. Both my wife and I been amazed that now, even when I’m tired or drunk, my dick will get hard and stay hard with just a little stimulation. It’s been almost 2 decades I’ve been able to to that. My ex who was a sex addict and needed it all the time, used to get mad at me for jerking off and “waisting it”. Now I think she had a point.

 

[kissedcherry]

Why one or the other?

Maybe it is different for guys but I like to be fucked doggies style while I finger my clit. Makes for good orgasms. So fucking and masturbating at the same time seems like a good idea to me. Also, after guys cum I can get them hard faster if I masturbate while they recover. Guys seem to like watching a girl get herself off so again, why one or the other? For me they are both great events and that can be done one at a time or both at the same time.

 

[IsItBad]

tried it

So for almost 15 years (around when I hit 40) I've had issues getting and keeping an erection, except when jerking off. I figured it had something to do with my age and my daily masturbation routine, and I tried quitting for a week or two but it made no difference. My sex life with my current wife had slowed dramatically to almost nothing in the last 3 years and even though she was in her early 40's a second sexual awakening never looked like it would hit her.

Then 3 months ago, I completely stopped jerking off and looking at porn for a full month. Suddenly my dick started getting hard like I was a teenager, easily and all the time! This turned on my wife who couldn't keep her hands off it and now she's finally hit her 40's sexual awakening. We're now having sex like teenagers. She, of course, has way more sexual desire than me, so for the first time in her life she's using vibrators and dildos masturbating several times a day, reading my sex stories, and sending all kinds of pics to my phone.

Has anyone else done this or want to try and get back to me? I've got to say, giving up pron has been more than worth it.

i am happy for you and hope that your happy ending continues

i tried that total abstinence route several different times in our considerably sexless marriage......really to no avail

now to be clear, i never had any issue getting it up, was and am always attracted to my wife.....would gladly fuck at any given moment any time any where.....unencumbered with any forms of mental blocks or issues relating to porn etc

she, on the other hand? apparently simply has no sex drive.....or any desire to please ........or at least not to please me

it is sad, probably worthless, to tell is....but here is a perfect example.....relating to the last time we had sex......now.....bear in mind it had been almost 5 years since the time previously.......randomly and on the spur of the moment at bedtime....the nightly peck on the lips for a good night kiss turned to a torrid tongue lashing complete french kiss that lasted for a good little while.....after which....she promptly sat up, pulled her gown off, kicked her panties off, kicked the covers back saying without words.....fuck me......of course i was raring to go .....welcomed the chance....climbed on her.....we were making out...i was kissing all over her.....kissing/sucking/biting her sensitive nipples....etc....every time my head would get near the entrance though she would squirm around .....i keep kissing down her....ultimately go down on her....eat her pussy the way i always have.....she cums massively with a back arching loud moaning orgasm......which of course i loved......meanwhile....my cock is dripping with precum throbbing pulsating .....aching to go .....i resume my position in the age old missionary way and press my head into her and she literally....cries out.....ouch...that hurts.....now its been a long time....i have no idea how a woman's pussy is with no use over a 5 year period.....i calm down.....take it as slow as humanly possible....go back to kissing ....etc....****bbing my head along her opening...****bbing my head across her clit.....back and forth....seems like all systems are go....try again.....no, that hurts.......

finally....feeling somewhat exasperated....i lay back ......the end

next morning.....i wake up to a very mad ill irritable hateful woman......not speaking ....slamming around......etc.....never says a word.....finally later in the day both at work....we "talk" about it via email as we tend to do.....and she is mad because i am no longer attracted to her and "didn't want her".........i try to plead my case??? 1) i was ready to go from the get go and way past when it was over.....2) how can i be responsible for her not feeling like it? or hurting? or whatever it was? 3) did she not have a good orgasm? 4) DID SHE MAKE ONE IOTA OF EFFORT TO DO ANYTHING FOR OR TO ME?

the silence reverberated for days.....its never really been revisited....and i conclude....she has no desire to please me at all......i am supposed to do something for her if she wants it.....and the entire thing is somehow all my responsibility

and so....back into the doldrums of no sex land......maybe for the last and final time for eternity......

 

[10169kek]

i am happy for you and hope that your happy ending continues

i tried that total abstinence route several different times in our considerably sexless marriage......really to no avail

now to be clear, i never had any issue getting it up, was and am always attracted to my wife.....would gladly fuck at any given moment any time any where.....unencumbered with any forms of mental blocks or issues relating to porn etc

she, on the other hand? apparently simply has no sex drive.....or any desire to please ........or at least not to please me

it is sad, probably worthless, to tell is....but here is a perfect example.....relating to the last time we had sex......now.....bear in mind it had been almost 5 years since the time previously.......randomly and on the spur of the moment at bedtime....the nightly peck on the lips for a good night kiss turned to a torrid tongue lashing complete french kiss that lasted for a good little while.....after which....she promptly sat up, pulled her gown off, kicked her panties off, kicked the covers back saying without words.....fuck me......of course i was raring to go .....welcomed the chance....climbed on her.....we were making out...i was kissing all over her.....kissing/sucking/biting her sensitive nipples....etc....every time my head would get near the entrance though she would squirm around .....i keep kissing down her....ultimately go down on her....eat her pussy the way i always have.....she cums massively with a back arching loud moaning orgasm......which of course i loved......meanwhile....my cock is dripping with precum throbbing pulsating .....aching to go .....i resume my position in the age old missionary way and press my head into her and she literally....cries out.....ouch...that hurts.....now its been a long time....i have no idea how a woman's pussy is with no use over a 5 year period.....i calm down.....take it as slow as humanly possible....go back to kissing ....etc....****bbing my head along her opening...****bbing my head across her clit.....back and forth....seems like all systems are go....try again.....no, that hurts.......

finally....feeling somewhat exasperated....i lay back ......the end

next morning.....i wake up to a very mad ill irritable hateful woman......not speaking ....slamming around......etc.....never says a word.....finally later in the day both at work....we "talk" about it via email as we tend to do.....and she is mad because i am no longer attracted to her and "didn't want her".........i try to plead my case??? 1) i was ready to go from the get go and way past when it was over.....2) how can i be responsible for her not feeling like it? or hurting? or whatever it was? 3) did she not have a good orgasm? 4) DID SHE MAKE ONE IOTA OF EFFORT TO DO ANYTHING FOR OR TO ME?

the silence reverberated for days.....its never really been revisited....and i conclude....she has no desire to please me at all......i am supposed to do something for her if she wants it.....and the entire thing is somehow all my responsibility

and so....back into the doldrums of no sex land......maybe for the last and final time for eternity......

It’s been over 9 years here, I honestly don’t remember the last time we had sex, (was probably the same old boring missionary aren’t you done yet), but I do remember the day she told me .. “I have no interest, no desire, HANDLE IT!” There has been no discussion as she refuses. I’ve of course withdrawn and refuse any contact whatsoever with her. I thought perhaps when she left her stress filled things might change but that hasn’t come to fruition. At this point I wouldn’t if she begged me.

 

[RipRespon]

Maybe it is different for guys but I like to be fucked doggies style while I finger my clit. Makes for good orgasms. So fucking and masturbating at the same time seems like a good idea to me. Also, after guys cum I can get them hard faster if I masturbate while they recover. Guys seem to like watching a girl get herself off so again, why one or the other? For me they are both great events and that can be done one at a time or both at the same time.

I think it is different for some men, especially those like me with performance anxiety. Most women I’ve know don’t have the issue of masturbation wearing them out, but in fact, like both my wives, it turns them on and gets them in the mood. My wife currently, who spent her whole life rarely masturbating, now has discovered how great it is and we bought her a dildo and vibrator that she can’t get enough of them. Watched her use them is a great turn on for me too.

 

[RipRespon]

...and so....back into the doldrums of no sex land......maybe for the last and final time for eternity......

I have a few friends that don’t have performance issues and I’ve always been a little envious. For me it’s been a life long struggle which even today haunts me even though my dick is performing perfectly.

Sorry to hear about your wife, that sucks! I know my current success is highly dependent on my wife’s new found sex drive cause without it I’d have no reason to stop jerking off. I hope your wife comes around some day.

 

[RipRespon]

It’s been over 9 years here, I honestly don’t remember the last time we had sex, (was probably the same old boring missionary aren’t you done yet), but I do remember the day she told me .. “I have no interest, no desire, HANDLE IT!” There has been no discussion as she refuses. I’ve of course withdrawn and refuse any contact whatsoever with her. I thought perhaps when she left her stress filled things might change but that hasn’t come to fruition. At this point I wouldn’t if she begged me.

Several years ago my wife was talking about wanting something new/different I suspected hinting at a new lover. I suggested role playing which she responded, “but its still just you”, a pretty devastating comeback to an already fragile ego. That was the start of almost 3 years of minimal sex, until now. I’d given up, now I have hope!

 

[gregy70]

Nine months ago I made a commitment not to masturbate and not even touch my dick unless my wife allowed. This commitment includes not even cumming unless she wants me to.
She’s fine if I’m rubbing my dick against her when I’m desperate. We fuck more often but only she gets to cum while it’s only mental orgasms for me.

Anyway the result of this lifestyle is my dick is rock hard a lot!
I’m ready for action at the drop of a hat and always attentive to her.
My wife likes it and now she’s seen the benefits there’s no turning back

 

[CuttingEdge]

I write erotica, visit this site, and will occasionally private message about sex, but for the last 10 years, I have only touched myself four times.

I wait for my wife generally, but admittedly, we have a pretty good sex life so it is not like going without is a big feat.

As for how I define that, I kept track once, and it was us having sex about every third day or so. That is not daily like some married couples I know, but not really a sexless marriage either. We have been wed for 10 years...

 

[RipRespon]

Nine months ago I made a commitment not to masturbate and not even touch my dick unless my wife allowed. This commitment includes not even cumming unless she wants me to.
She’s fine if I’m rubbing my dick against her when I’m desperate. We fuck more often but only she gets to cum while it’s only mental orgasms for me.

Anyway the result of this lifestyle is my dick is rock hard a lot!
I’m ready for action at the drop of a hat and always attentive to her.
My wife likes it and now she’s seen the benefits there’s no turning back

Exactly! This is similar to what I’m talking about. I played that game with my ex a few times, loved it, but that was when I was much younger and the problem I experience now in my older years didn’t exist. Thanks for sharing.

 

[RipRespon]

I write erotica, visit this site, and will occasionally private message about sex, but for the last 10 years, I have only touched myself four times.

I wait for my wife generally, but admittedly, we have a pretty good sex life so it is not like going without is a big feat.

As for how I define that, I kept track once, and it was us having sex about every third day or so. That is not daily like some married couples I know, but not really a sexless marriage either. We have been wed for 10 years...

4 times in 10 years? WOW that's impressive. You've lived my experience and well beyond. Do you have any performance issues?

 

[Uneklensane]

Maybe it is different for guys but I like to be fucked doggies style while I finger my clit. Makes for good orgasms. So fucking and masturbating at the same time seems like a good idea to me. Also, after guys cum I can get them hard faster if I masturbate while they recover. Guys seem to like watching a girl get herself off so again, why one or the other? For me they are both great events and that can be done one at a time or both at the same time.

Many, if not all, men are visual. We love what we see when a woman is experiencing pleasure. Either by what we do to her or even what she does to herself. Watching a woman in pleasure is our ultimate aphrodisiac.

 

[Uneklensane]

i am happy for you and hope that your happy ending continues

i tried that total abstinence route several different times in our considerably sexless marriage......really to no avail

now to be clear, i never had any issue getting it up, was and am always attracted to my wife.....would gladly fuck at any given moment any time any where.....unencumbered with any forms of mental blocks or issues relating to porn etc

she, on the other hand? apparently simply has no sex drive.....or any desire to please ........or at least not to please me

it is sad, probably worthless, to tell is....but here is a perfect example.....relating to the last time we had sex......now.....bear in mind it had been almost 5 years since the time previously.......randomly and on the spur of the moment at bedtime....the nightly peck on the lips for a good night kiss turned to a torrid tongue lashing complete french kiss that lasted for a good little while.....after which....she promptly sat up, pulled her gown off, kicked her panties off, kicked the covers back saying without words.....fuck me......of course i was raring to go .....welcomed the chance....climbed on her.....we were making out...i was kissing all over her.....kissing/sucking/biting her sensitive nipples....etc....every time my head would get near the entrance though she would squirm around .....i keep kissing down her....ultimately go down on her....eat her pussy the way i always have.....she cums massively with a back arching loud moaning orgasm......which of course i loved......meanwhile....my cock is dripping with precum throbbing pulsating .....aching to go .....i resume my position in the age old missionary way and press my head into her and she literally....cries out.....ouch...that hurts.....now its been a long time....i have no idea how a woman's pussy is with no use over a 5 year period.....i calm down.....take it as slow as humanly possible....go back to kissing ....etc....****bbing my head along her opening...****bbing my head across her clit.....back and forth....seems like all systems are go....try again.....no, that hurts.......

finally....feeling somewhat exasperated....i lay back ......the end

next morning.....i wake up to a very mad ill irritable hateful woman......not speaking ....slamming around......etc.....never says a word.....finally later in the day both at work....we "talk" about it via email as we tend to do.....and she is mad because i am no longer attracted to her and "didn't want her".........i try to plead my case??? 1) i was ready to go from the get go and way past when it was over.....2) how can i be responsible for her not feeling like it? or hurting? or whatever it was? 3) did she not have a good orgasm? 4) DID SHE MAKE ONE IOTA OF EFFORT TO DO ANYTHING FOR OR TO ME?

the silence reverberated for days.....its never really been revisited....and i conclude....she has no desire to please me at all......i am supposed to do something for her if she wants it.....and the entire thing is somehow all my responsibility

and so....back into the doldrums of no sex land......maybe for the last and final time for eternity......

Just curious based on the events you laid out... have you tried just fingerings her or eating her to several orgasms without attempting to fuck her? Just get her off and then explain you wanted to only please her to show her you loved her?

 

[twister947]

i am happy for you and hope that your happy ending continues

i tried that total abstinence route several different times in our considerably sexless marriage......really to no avail

now to be clear, i never had any issue getting it up, was and am always attracted to my wife.....would gladly fuck at any given moment any time any where.....unencumbered with any forms of mental blocks or issues relating to porn etc

she, on the other hand? apparently simply has no sex drive.....or any desire to please ........or at least not to please me

it is sad, probably worthless, to tell is....but here is a perfect example.....relating to the last time we had sex......now.....bear in mind it had been almost 5 years since the time previously.......randomly and on the spur of the moment at bedtime....the nightly peck on the lips for a good night kiss turned to a torrid tongue lashing complete french kiss that lasted for a good little while.....after which....she promptly sat up, pulled her gown off, kicked her panties off, kicked the covers back saying without words.....fuck me......of course i was raring to go .....welcomed the chance....climbed on her.....we were making out...i was kissing all over her.....kissing/sucking/biting her sensitive nipples....etc....every time my head would get near the entrance though she would squirm around .....i keep kissing down her....ultimately go down on her....eat her pussy the way i always have.....she cums massively with a back arching loud moaning orgasm......which of course i loved......meanwhile....my cock is dripping with precum throbbing pulsating .....aching to go .....i resume my position in the age old missionary way and press my head into her and she literally....cries out.....ouch...that hurts.....now its been a long time....i have no idea how a woman's pussy is with no use over a 5 year period.....i calm down.....take it as slow as humanly possible....go back to kissing ....etc....****bbing my head along her opening...****bbing my head across her clit.....back and forth....seems like all systems are go....try again.....no, that hurts.......

finally....feeling somewhat exasperated....i lay back ......the end

next morning.....i wake up to a very mad ill irritable hateful woman......not speaking ....slamming around......etc.....never says a word.....finally later in the day both at work....we "talk" about it via email as we tend to do.....and she is mad because i am no longer attracted to her and "didn't want her".........i try to plead my case??? 1) i was ready to go from the get go and way past when it was over.....2) how can i be responsible for her not feeling like it? or hurting? or whatever it was? 3) did she not have a good orgasm? 4) DID SHE MAKE ONE IOTA OF EFFORT TO DO ANYTHING FOR OR TO ME?

the silence reverberated for days.....its never really been revisited....and i conclude....she has no desire to please me at all......i am supposed to do something for her if she wants it.....and the entire thing is somehow all my responsibility

and so....back into the doldrums of no sex land......maybe for the last and final time for eternity......

I've encountered this...a vagina so tight, penetration was impossible. She wanted it, but no go. Went to gyno, turns out, vaginal atrophy is a thing. It happens.

Also, research vaginismus.

Good luck.

 

[Scareltt]

Good for you!

So for almost 15 years (around when I hit 40) I've had issues getting and keeping an erection, except when jerking off. I figured it had something to do with my age and my daily masturbation routine, and I tried quitting for a week or two but it made no difference. My sex life with my current wife had slowed dramatically to almost nothing in the last 3 years and even though she was in her early 40's a second sexual awakening never looked like it would hit her.

Then 3 months ago, I completely stopped jerking off and looking at porn for a full month. Suddenly my dick started getting hard like I was a teenager, easily and all the time! This turned on my wife who couldn't keep her hands off it and now she's finally hit her 40's sexual awakening. We're now having sex like teenagers. She, of course, has way more sexual desire than me, so for the first time in her life she's using vibrators and dildos masturbating several times a day, reading my sex stories, and sending all kinds of pics to my phone.

Has anyone else done this or want to try and get back to me? I've got to say, giving up pron has been more than worth it.

When I took control of my husband’s orgasms our marriage definitely improved.

You’re such a wonderful husband!

 

[RipRespon]

When I took control of my husband’s orgasms our marriage definitely improved.

You’re such a wonderful husband!

Thanks Scarleltt! I feel luck to have this woman and be a part of her sexual awakening. When this virus thing gets figured out she’s even talking about visiting swinger clubs. Unlike my first marriage it probably won’t be a cuckold relationship between us, but it’s looking like it’ll be really fun non the less.