Quick-n-Dirty
Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2006
- Posts
- 56
There can be only one...no, actually two finalists from every heat. So cast your vote for your favourite.
ps. Bump when you vote, so this doesn't fall out of frame immediately.
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1. Bumblefuck Cat Toss
The last time I worked in a restaurant, it was a truck stop in Bumblefuck, Ohio. They sold a lot of hamburgers. And I do mean a lot - part of my job as prep cook was to take twenty pound blocks of ground beef and turn them into piles of quarter pound patties. I had to do this damn near daily, and I had to do it quickly. There were other tasks to be accomplished, ya know? So I'd often make a mess of things and end up leaving at the end of the day, worn out and conquered by the food, with scraps of meat clinging to the tread of my boots. My roommate's kittens loved me. They'd curl themselves around my boots, kicking and fighting to pick out the tiny bits of beef. Thinking back, that was pretty disgusting. But the cats were happy.
One night, I'd just gotten home from work and needed a drink before I hopped in the shower. I plopped down at the computer to check my email while I sucked on a beer. As luck would have it, that's when the phone rang. My girlfriend was still saving cash to move out to Bumblefuck and had her final semester of school to finish. We hadn't had a chance to talk in a few days, so I answered the phone hoping it would be her.
"Hello?"
"Hey baby, how was work?"
"The usual. I'm tired and smell a bit like a slaughterhouse."
She giggled.
"And how's school going?"
"Exams are over. We're going to the bar tonight."
"Oh yeah? What are you wearing?"
I couldn't help myself. We didn't usually resort to phone sex, but somehow it seemed appropriate as I sat there, beer in hand and a kitten suckling the sole of each boot.
She described the outfit - corset, short skirt, fuck me boots. I'd seen her wear all of them, so it was easy to picture what she looked like just then. I told her how I was touching myself, and it sounded like she was getting into it. Before long, most of her side of the conversation had been whittled down to grunts and moans.
Apparently, one of the kittens got excited about my hand moving around in my lap. It jumped up, latching onto my fingers with its pointy little claws.
"Oh, fuck! Get off of me!"
I flung around wildly, trying to disengage the tiny terrorist. Meanwhile, its sibling had decided to join in the fun and climbed up my leg for a better vantage point of the Bumblefuck Cat Toss. My girlfriend had snapped out of sexy mode and was trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
"Cat claws. Oh shit!"
Just then, my roommate walked into the room. I was mortified, with my equipment exposed and a kitten in my lap.
"What the fuck are you doing with my cats? Dude, that's just wrong."
I ended up having to find a new roommate, and my girl stopped answering my calls. At least I still had a job.
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2. Fries?
“Remind you of anyone?” Kathy said, holding up a fry.
Bethany looked over, “Shut up.”
“No?” Kathy’s eyes gleamed as she held up another smaller fry. “Better?”
Kathy was referring to Bethany’s new boyfriend. He was handsome, captain of the football team and, at least according to rumor, very lightly endowed. “Bitch.” She muttered under her breath. Aloud she said, “It’s not like you’d know anything about that anyway.”
Kathy was the only lesbian girl in the senior class and made no effort to hide it, in fact she reveled in it.
A beep from the headset Bethany was wearing told her that there was a customer at the drive thru. She took the order and got the drinks while Kathy filled the rest of the order. When the car drove off she looked back to Kathy.
For some reason she felt the need to defend her boyfriend and said, “Well, it seems to work fine on me.”
Kathy sniffed, “That’s just because you don’t know what it can really be like.”
“Oh, and I suppose you do?”
Kathy smirked, “You have no idea.”
Bethany had always felt a secret curiosity about lesbian sex and in a burst of daring blurted, “Prove it!”
Kathy’s wickedly predatory smile suddenly made Bethany feel like an entrée. Kathy stepped up and embraced her. Their lips met and Bethany was surprised at how soft her lips felt, much different from a man’s kiss. She let out an involuntary moan as Kathy’s hands trailed down her back and over her ass. She was surprised and more than a little alarmed by how fast her body was responding to another woman.
She let out a little whimper as Kathy’s hands expertly unbuttoned her pants and pushed them slowly down. She felt terribly exposed and was glad that the drive thru was the only part of the restaurant that was open.
Kathy leaned back against the register as Kathy dropped to her knees in front of her. “Oh God…” she moaned as Kathy pulled her panties down.
A startled yelp of surprise escaped her as Kathy’s tongue made contact with her clit. The yelp turned to loud moaning as Kathy’s talented tongue explored further.
At first she didn’t notice the beep in her ear but after a moment she realized that they had a customer.
“Can… can I… I help you?” She managed.
“Two large Cokes.”
“Um… ah… ok. Ah, drive up.” She managed to get out.
Reaching back she got the sodas and turned to the window to give them to the customer, glad Kathy was out of sight below the counter. Handing the sodas out the window she said, “On the… the… house.” Without waiting for an answer she leaned back over the register as her climax tore through her. She cried out with the startling assault of the intense pleasure that was unlike anything she had ever felt.
Kathy stood up and kissed her, “So?”
Bethany, still dazed said, “No more fries for me.”
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3. Order Up
“Here you go guys, sorry about the wait.” Marcia leaned into the window of an awaiting car, her shirt hanging low enough to give the three guys waiting a nice view as she handed three grease-soaked bags to the guy occupying the passenger seat.
“Yeah, it’s fine, baby, the guy in the driver’s seat said before obviously adjusting himself as he peered down her shirt.
She smiled and gave them a wink. Working her way through college wasn’t easy, especially since she didn’t opt to be a stripper; she had to get her kicks when she could, right?
“Well I hope to see you all again soon, okay?” Marcia gave them a quick smile before detaching herself from the window.
“Where you going, sweetie?”
“Well it seems you three are my last order before I get to close up, so have a good night, guys.” With that she smirked and began turning around.
Unexpectedly, the passenger door opened and she was grabbed by the back of her hair. She screamed, but it was muffled by a large hand and because it was nearly closing time all of the other employees were in the back cleaning with the mindset of going home and no other customers were in the vicinity.
After about fifteen minutes, the car stopped on a side road in the middle of nowhere when the three guys stepped out of the car and drug Marcia out by her hair. The guys that had been in the passenger and back seats held Marcia down on the hood of the car face down. The guy who had been in the driver’s seat came up from behind her and ran his hands up under her skirt noticing she had no panties on.
“What’s this, slut?”
Marcia was trying to hold back tears but suddenly started sobbing when she felt two thick fingers probe at her slit.
“You’ve been begging for this and you know it, you little tease.”
As he pumped his fingers in and out of her, the two other guys unloaded their cocks out on her face and in the heat of the moment as she started looking forward to an orgasm of her own; she started licking both hardening pieces of flesh before her. The fingers stopped as she approached climax and became soaked in her own formulated juices.
Unzipping his jeans, his dick tumbled out and he positioned himself just right behind her and rammed himself up and into her pulsating pussy. She went crazy sucking and licking his friends until they exploded and in minutes Marcia was having the most amazing orgasm of her life as the man behind her drove in and out until he quickly pulled and released his load all over her back.
The three guys gathered themselves and stranded Marcia on the side of the road without looking back. They had planned the attack on this girl for months and it had been everything they had thought it would be. Fucking amazing.
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4. Love For Dessert
Was this what love felt like? Kelly didn’t know. She’d wanted Jerry, but just for his family’s money and status. Rowdy was her favorite playmate. Even when she hooked Jerry, that wouldn’t change. Now, after what happened last night, she wasn’t sure how she felt.
Jerry had been so worn-out from his summer job it was almost funny. But a quick stop at the T-Bone Grill for a big lettuce and tomato salad, two double-cheeseburgers, a large order of curly fries, and three glasses of ice tea revived him enough to want something special for dessert.
That was okay with her. It was past time to be nice to him. Besides, she felt frisky. So she decided he was about to get lucky.
That Jerry turned out to be so good came as a surprise, and a real bonus. The first time was okay, maybe even a little exciting. Of course, most first times were. But other than that, it was sex as usual.
After they rested and shared a cigarette, however, he began making love, not just to the boobs and all that, but to every part of her body, and there was nothing in his way, either. He insisted on taking off all her clothes. So there she lay, buck-naked in the back seat of his car, while he did his thing. And she loved every moment.
In her experience, most guys were eager to paw and grab, but just until they moved on to the serious stuff. Jerry seemed to enjoy foreplay, kissing and touching and nibbling and stroking everywhere. And he kept on doing it until she was on the verge of begging him to go ahead and start the serious stuff.
When he did, it was good, real good. It wasn’t just the sex that made everything so incredible, although that was nice, but the feeling he wanted to make love to her, not just get laid.
Maybe after wanting her for so long, he was determined to enjoy every bit of her body and savor every moment of their time together. Maybe that was the way he always made love. Whatever the reason, being on the receiving end was fantastic.
But what happened on the way home was something extra special. She was all cuddled up beside him with his arm around her shoulders, and all that. On a straight stretch of road, he leaned over and kissed her. When it ended, he glanced at the road, then back at her and said, "I need you--now." It came as a surprise, but she nodded.
They parked so close to the road you could still see cars passing. It was almost like doing it right out in public. Jerry didn't seem to care where they were, and moments later, neither did she. It was all so spontaneous, so passionate, so, well, so romantic.
Tonight, they’d start back at the T-Bone, then go for dessert. She smiled with anticipation and, yes, love.
So long, Rowdy.
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5. Lickable
“I’ll meet you home for lunch in ten minutes.”
“Lunch? Or…?”
“Surprise me.”
Hanging up the phone, I considered the options and then smiled a wicked grin. Quickly gathering the necessities, I made my plan.
With two minutes to spare, I looked down at myself sprawled on the dining room table. “Perfect.”
He walked in a minute later and smiled as he saw me. His gaze traveled down my body, taking in the whipped cream on my breasts, the dribble of chocolate down my belly, the strawberry nestled between my thighs.
“Lunch,” I said. “I’ve got twenty minutes, so there was only time for this.”
“Thank god I like fast food.”
Walking toward me, he pulled off his suit coat and rolled up his sleeves. His eyes on mine, he leaned down and slowly licked the cream off my right breast and then the left, his tongue tickling my skin with each lap. I grabbed his head and tugged him toward me for a kiss. The taste of the cream was sweet, and I sighed against his lips.
He pulled away and grinned, then lowered himself to trail down my stomach, sucking the chocolate off my skin as he went. When he reached the nestle between my thighs, he laughed. “I’ve always loved strawberries.”
He bit into the berry and I could feel the movement of his face against my skin. My clit ached for his touch as I waited for him to stop the tease. He sensed my anticipation and laughed again. Pulling my hips further toward the edge of the table, he wrapped his arms around my hips and sunk his mouth into my pussy. His tongue pushed into me, and I groaned, tightening my legs around his head.
“This is my favorite food,” he whispered. And then promptly suckled my clit into his mouth, hard. His teeth nipped the nub, and I thrust against him, wanting more and needing everything. He slipped one finger into my cunt, and then another, timing his thrusts to the rhythm of his tongue. My hips continued to buck against him, and I held tight to his hair, holding his mouth hard against me. His teeth grazed my clit again, and with one last thrust, I screamed.
“Thanks for lunch,” he said patting my thigh. He stood and picked up his jacket. “I’ll see you at dinner. I think we need to finish what we started.”
ps. Bump when you vote, so this doesn't fall out of frame immediately.
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1. Bumblefuck Cat Toss
The last time I worked in a restaurant, it was a truck stop in Bumblefuck, Ohio. They sold a lot of hamburgers. And I do mean a lot - part of my job as prep cook was to take twenty pound blocks of ground beef and turn them into piles of quarter pound patties. I had to do this damn near daily, and I had to do it quickly. There were other tasks to be accomplished, ya know? So I'd often make a mess of things and end up leaving at the end of the day, worn out and conquered by the food, with scraps of meat clinging to the tread of my boots. My roommate's kittens loved me. They'd curl themselves around my boots, kicking and fighting to pick out the tiny bits of beef. Thinking back, that was pretty disgusting. But the cats were happy.
One night, I'd just gotten home from work and needed a drink before I hopped in the shower. I plopped down at the computer to check my email while I sucked on a beer. As luck would have it, that's when the phone rang. My girlfriend was still saving cash to move out to Bumblefuck and had her final semester of school to finish. We hadn't had a chance to talk in a few days, so I answered the phone hoping it would be her.
"Hello?"
"Hey baby, how was work?"
"The usual. I'm tired and smell a bit like a slaughterhouse."
She giggled.
"And how's school going?"
"Exams are over. We're going to the bar tonight."
"Oh yeah? What are you wearing?"
I couldn't help myself. We didn't usually resort to phone sex, but somehow it seemed appropriate as I sat there, beer in hand and a kitten suckling the sole of each boot.
She described the outfit - corset, short skirt, fuck me boots. I'd seen her wear all of them, so it was easy to picture what she looked like just then. I told her how I was touching myself, and it sounded like she was getting into it. Before long, most of her side of the conversation had been whittled down to grunts and moans.
Apparently, one of the kittens got excited about my hand moving around in my lap. It jumped up, latching onto my fingers with its pointy little claws.
"Oh, fuck! Get off of me!"
I flung around wildly, trying to disengage the tiny terrorist. Meanwhile, its sibling had decided to join in the fun and climbed up my leg for a better vantage point of the Bumblefuck Cat Toss. My girlfriend had snapped out of sexy mode and was trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
"Cat claws. Oh shit!"
Just then, my roommate walked into the room. I was mortified, with my equipment exposed and a kitten in my lap.
"What the fuck are you doing with my cats? Dude, that's just wrong."
I ended up having to find a new roommate, and my girl stopped answering my calls. At least I still had a job.
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2. Fries?
“Remind you of anyone?” Kathy said, holding up a fry.
Bethany looked over, “Shut up.”
“No?” Kathy’s eyes gleamed as she held up another smaller fry. “Better?”
Kathy was referring to Bethany’s new boyfriend. He was handsome, captain of the football team and, at least according to rumor, very lightly endowed. “Bitch.” She muttered under her breath. Aloud she said, “It’s not like you’d know anything about that anyway.”
Kathy was the only lesbian girl in the senior class and made no effort to hide it, in fact she reveled in it.
A beep from the headset Bethany was wearing told her that there was a customer at the drive thru. She took the order and got the drinks while Kathy filled the rest of the order. When the car drove off she looked back to Kathy.
For some reason she felt the need to defend her boyfriend and said, “Well, it seems to work fine on me.”
Kathy sniffed, “That’s just because you don’t know what it can really be like.”
“Oh, and I suppose you do?”
Kathy smirked, “You have no idea.”
Bethany had always felt a secret curiosity about lesbian sex and in a burst of daring blurted, “Prove it!”
Kathy’s wickedly predatory smile suddenly made Bethany feel like an entrée. Kathy stepped up and embraced her. Their lips met and Bethany was surprised at how soft her lips felt, much different from a man’s kiss. She let out an involuntary moan as Kathy’s hands trailed down her back and over her ass. She was surprised and more than a little alarmed by how fast her body was responding to another woman.
She let out a little whimper as Kathy’s hands expertly unbuttoned her pants and pushed them slowly down. She felt terribly exposed and was glad that the drive thru was the only part of the restaurant that was open.
Kathy leaned back against the register as Kathy dropped to her knees in front of her. “Oh God…” she moaned as Kathy pulled her panties down.
A startled yelp of surprise escaped her as Kathy’s tongue made contact with her clit. The yelp turned to loud moaning as Kathy’s talented tongue explored further.
At first she didn’t notice the beep in her ear but after a moment she realized that they had a customer.
“Can… can I… I help you?” She managed.
“Two large Cokes.”
“Um… ah… ok. Ah, drive up.” She managed to get out.
Reaching back she got the sodas and turned to the window to give them to the customer, glad Kathy was out of sight below the counter. Handing the sodas out the window she said, “On the… the… house.” Without waiting for an answer she leaned back over the register as her climax tore through her. She cried out with the startling assault of the intense pleasure that was unlike anything she had ever felt.
Kathy stood up and kissed her, “So?”
Bethany, still dazed said, “No more fries for me.”
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3. Order Up
“Here you go guys, sorry about the wait.” Marcia leaned into the window of an awaiting car, her shirt hanging low enough to give the three guys waiting a nice view as she handed three grease-soaked bags to the guy occupying the passenger seat.
“Yeah, it’s fine, baby, the guy in the driver’s seat said before obviously adjusting himself as he peered down her shirt.
She smiled and gave them a wink. Working her way through college wasn’t easy, especially since she didn’t opt to be a stripper; she had to get her kicks when she could, right?
“Well I hope to see you all again soon, okay?” Marcia gave them a quick smile before detaching herself from the window.
“Where you going, sweetie?”
“Well it seems you three are my last order before I get to close up, so have a good night, guys.” With that she smirked and began turning around.
Unexpectedly, the passenger door opened and she was grabbed by the back of her hair. She screamed, but it was muffled by a large hand and because it was nearly closing time all of the other employees were in the back cleaning with the mindset of going home and no other customers were in the vicinity.
After about fifteen minutes, the car stopped on a side road in the middle of nowhere when the three guys stepped out of the car and drug Marcia out by her hair. The guys that had been in the passenger and back seats held Marcia down on the hood of the car face down. The guy who had been in the driver’s seat came up from behind her and ran his hands up under her skirt noticing she had no panties on.
“What’s this, slut?”
Marcia was trying to hold back tears but suddenly started sobbing when she felt two thick fingers probe at her slit.
“You’ve been begging for this and you know it, you little tease.”
As he pumped his fingers in and out of her, the two other guys unloaded their cocks out on her face and in the heat of the moment as she started looking forward to an orgasm of her own; she started licking both hardening pieces of flesh before her. The fingers stopped as she approached climax and became soaked in her own formulated juices.
Unzipping his jeans, his dick tumbled out and he positioned himself just right behind her and rammed himself up and into her pulsating pussy. She went crazy sucking and licking his friends until they exploded and in minutes Marcia was having the most amazing orgasm of her life as the man behind her drove in and out until he quickly pulled and released his load all over her back.
The three guys gathered themselves and stranded Marcia on the side of the road without looking back. They had planned the attack on this girl for months and it had been everything they had thought it would be. Fucking amazing.
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4. Love For Dessert
Was this what love felt like? Kelly didn’t know. She’d wanted Jerry, but just for his family’s money and status. Rowdy was her favorite playmate. Even when she hooked Jerry, that wouldn’t change. Now, after what happened last night, she wasn’t sure how she felt.
Jerry had been so worn-out from his summer job it was almost funny. But a quick stop at the T-Bone Grill for a big lettuce and tomato salad, two double-cheeseburgers, a large order of curly fries, and three glasses of ice tea revived him enough to want something special for dessert.
That was okay with her. It was past time to be nice to him. Besides, she felt frisky. So she decided he was about to get lucky.
That Jerry turned out to be so good came as a surprise, and a real bonus. The first time was okay, maybe even a little exciting. Of course, most first times were. But other than that, it was sex as usual.
After they rested and shared a cigarette, however, he began making love, not just to the boobs and all that, but to every part of her body, and there was nothing in his way, either. He insisted on taking off all her clothes. So there she lay, buck-naked in the back seat of his car, while he did his thing. And she loved every moment.
In her experience, most guys were eager to paw and grab, but just until they moved on to the serious stuff. Jerry seemed to enjoy foreplay, kissing and touching and nibbling and stroking everywhere. And he kept on doing it until she was on the verge of begging him to go ahead and start the serious stuff.
When he did, it was good, real good. It wasn’t just the sex that made everything so incredible, although that was nice, but the feeling he wanted to make love to her, not just get laid.
Maybe after wanting her for so long, he was determined to enjoy every bit of her body and savor every moment of their time together. Maybe that was the way he always made love. Whatever the reason, being on the receiving end was fantastic.
But what happened on the way home was something extra special. She was all cuddled up beside him with his arm around her shoulders, and all that. On a straight stretch of road, he leaned over and kissed her. When it ended, he glanced at the road, then back at her and said, "I need you--now." It came as a surprise, but she nodded.
They parked so close to the road you could still see cars passing. It was almost like doing it right out in public. Jerry didn't seem to care where they were, and moments later, neither did she. It was all so spontaneous, so passionate, so, well, so romantic.
Tonight, they’d start back at the T-Bone, then go for dessert. She smiled with anticipation and, yes, love.
So long, Rowdy.
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5. Lickable
“I’ll meet you home for lunch in ten minutes.”
“Lunch? Or…?”
“Surprise me.”
Hanging up the phone, I considered the options and then smiled a wicked grin. Quickly gathering the necessities, I made my plan.
With two minutes to spare, I looked down at myself sprawled on the dining room table. “Perfect.”
He walked in a minute later and smiled as he saw me. His gaze traveled down my body, taking in the whipped cream on my breasts, the dribble of chocolate down my belly, the strawberry nestled between my thighs.
“Lunch,” I said. “I’ve got twenty minutes, so there was only time for this.”
“Thank god I like fast food.”
Walking toward me, he pulled off his suit coat and rolled up his sleeves. His eyes on mine, he leaned down and slowly licked the cream off my right breast and then the left, his tongue tickling my skin with each lap. I grabbed his head and tugged him toward me for a kiss. The taste of the cream was sweet, and I sighed against his lips.
He pulled away and grinned, then lowered himself to trail down my stomach, sucking the chocolate off my skin as he went. When he reached the nestle between my thighs, he laughed. “I’ve always loved strawberries.”
He bit into the berry and I could feel the movement of his face against my skin. My clit ached for his touch as I waited for him to stop the tease. He sensed my anticipation and laughed again. Pulling my hips further toward the edge of the table, he wrapped his arms around my hips and sunk his mouth into my pussy. His tongue pushed into me, and I groaned, tightening my legs around his head.
“This is my favorite food,” he whispered. And then promptly suckled my clit into his mouth, hard. His teeth nipped the nub, and I thrust against him, wanting more and needing everything. He slipped one finger into my cunt, and then another, timing his thrusts to the rhythm of his tongue. My hips continued to buck against him, and I held tight to his hair, holding his mouth hard against me. His teeth grazed my clit again, and with one last thrust, I screamed.
“Thanks for lunch,” he said patting my thigh. He stood and picked up his jacket. “I’ll see you at dinner. I think we need to finish what we started.”
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