Questions about Jesus...

[Spinaroonie]

If Jesus were alive today, would he need a wheelchair? I mean he'd be pretty damn old... and healing powers only go so far...

Also, would he dress contemporarily? Or for his age? Or would he still wear the robes? I can't really see him wearing those old peoples sunglasses that go all the way around.

 

[seXieleXie]

your face makes baby jesus cry.

 

[HeavyStick]

I think he'd have a seeing eye disciple

 

[Spinaroonie]

your face makes baby jesus cry.

But... if he was alive... he wouldn't be a baby anymore.

 

[cybergirly]

If he were still wearing his robes, would they be the same robes? If so, they'd be awfully tattered. What about his hair? Would he still have the long locks? Perhaps wear it in braids? Hmmmm and would he have traided in his sandals for a pair of Berkinstocks?

 

[brokenbrainwave]

nawwww he would be hip hop with baggy pants and mad ryhmes

 

[seXieleXie]

But... if he was alive... he wouldn't be a baby anymore.

shows what you know. don't you go to school in the bible belt? baby jesus is forever.

 

[Spinaroonie]

shows what you know. don't you go to school in the bible belt? baby jesus is forever.

I do, but they never show pictures of baby jesus, just pictures of aborted babies.

I remember a news story one time where some kids had stolen a cement statue of the baby jesus from a church nativity and had converted it into a bong.

Now that's a straight trip to hell.

 

[seXieleXie]

I do, but they never show pictures of baby jesus, just pictures of aborted babies.

I remember a news story one time where some kids had stolen a cement statue of the baby jesus from a church nativity and had converted it into a bong.

Now that's a straight trip to hell.

that's pretty fucked up right there

 

[HeavyStick]

Now that's a straight trip to hell.

hmmm would that be coach or first class?

 

[amelia]

i picture jesus as this ultra cool man..i think he would have stayed around his early 30's. (he's got powers ya know) he's probably be a television producer.

 

[fgarvb1]

Jesus would take a hit off the bong. He hung out with sinners remember?

He was never meant to be here any longer than he was in human form. He did it because God wanted him to.

I don't know how much of his power he retained in his human form, but i bet he could have appeared to be what ever age he wanted.

 

[Spinaroonie]

i picture jesus as this ultra cool man..i think he would have stayed around his early 30's. (he's got powers ya know) he's probably be a television producer.

The fall lineup needs him

 

[red_rose]

I saw something about a baby Jesus butt plug once.

I have to see if I can find that link again... just to prove that I'm not totally fuckin' bonkers.

 

[red_rose]

http://www.divine-interventions.com/

Heh.

 

[Freya]

Well I guess using him as a dildo is no different than calling his name 100 times during sex.

 

[red_rose]

I usually yell for GOD, not Jesus.

 

[amelia]

The fall lineup needs him

and i need you

 

[Freya]

I usually yell for GOD, not Jesus.

Yes, but sometimes I throw in other names just so God's eardrums don't burst from the yelling.

 

[Spinaroonie]

and i need you

Why? Cable out?

 

[Lasher]

I remember a news story one time where some kids had stolen a cement statue of the baby jesus from a church nativity and had converted it into a bong.

We did the same thing in college with a Bart Simpson doll...

Anyways... I'm thinking he probably would've peaked with the whole '70s leisure suit look cause he just more or less got forgotten at that point.

I see him wandering around one of those retirement communities made up of double-wide house trailers that sit on cement lots wearing keds, dark socks (black or navy), a pair of green polyster pants and a funny colored t-shirt saying "Remember Me?".

He may or may not be sporting a comb over.

 

[Mona Lisa]

Why not just go to the source? Some of the answers may surprise you though:

http://www.jesus.com/

 

[Lasher]

Why not just go to the source? Some of the answers may surprise you though:

http://www.jesus.com/

LOL, I posted that same link about 2 1/2 years ago.

 

[Mona Lisa]

So you've been holding out on us newbies, is that what I'm hearing?

 

[Lasher]

So you've been holding out on us newbies, is that what I'm hearing?

Nahhh, just forgot about it till ya mentioned it, lol.

And besides, haven't you gone back and read all 2.5 million posts like you're supposed too???