Questions about gender identity...

[ShyQuest]

Hello everyone!

I have been questioning myself a lot lately about gender issues, more so about my own gender. I’m not sure how to explain myself on here because I’m still questioning myself. I guess I should talk about myself a bit. I’m in my early twenties. I am a man, but I’m not comfortable being one. Since I was younger, I always thought I could have had a better life, or lived it better, if I was a woman. I never had anyone to talk to about it, so it stayed at that. Recently I have found out more about this topic, and the more and more I read about it, the more I feel I was born wrong.

Here on the GLBT board I found people that seem to think like I do, although most of you seem to be a lot further then I am. I’m still questioning, and some of you are in transition, and I must admit, I’m jealous! I’m still unsure of what to do... I don’t know what to ask either, this is just so new to me. Any help I can get will be greatly appreciated. If you have specific questions, please ask me so I can ask myself and answer you. It would help me figure things out.

Thank you all in advance!

 

[Tymeless]

we are here for you. Truthfully your first step is to find a therapist and start from there they will better be able to help you through this then any of us. We will gladly be here to support you no matter what you decide though but you do need to be under the supervision and care of a trained professional.

 

[ShyQuest]

Thank you Tymeless!

I have thought of seeing a professional to help me, but... I'm scared of doing it. It's also something expensive and right now in my life, I can't afford it. I hope to be able to soon, but I have no idea when I will be able to do it.

Thanks again for you support, it make me happy to know there's people out there that are willing to help a stranger in need...

 

[temp256]

Personally I hate therapy, so when I started to question myself, I turned to the internet, reading anything and everything I could find. Talking to people online also helped, and things are even better now that I have a real friend I can talk to.

I was eager to start too. I feel like a hypocrite for saying this, but take things slow and eventually things will begin to work out.

 

[ShyQuest]

Thank you!

I've been reading anything I can find on the internet about this... It's very informative, but I feel overwhelmed and I'm not sure what do to about it... I'm sure I'll have plenty of questions for you all!

 

[Tymeless]

Temp you hate therapy but that doesn't mean its not the right thing to do. The therapist I have is amazing and has made it a great experience. While I went into therapy not wanting anything to do with it now i'm glad I did.

ShyQuest take your time and make sure any decisions you make are right for you, but i wouldn't delay on the therapy get a second job if you have to for a little while thats what I did.

 

[ShyQuest]

I'm studying at university, so I have little time to get a job, let alone two. I am trying, but realistically I won't be able to until summer...

In the mean time, I'll try to do some more research and try to figure things out a bit more. Next time I go see a professional, my questioning will surely be an important topic of discussion!

 

[ShyQuest]

In my research I came across the “Combined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory” (COGIATI) test. It seems like a decent test and I have taken it. I am aware that it doesn't replace a good professional, but I think it can help with my questioning... The author made it quite clear that to be careful of the results as they might not be accurate and that a professional should be seen for further help and not to do anything without thinking long and hard about it.

I was wondering what you thought of this test... Here’s a link to it for those interested: http://www.transsexual.org/TEST0.html

If you’re curious, my results basically say that ‘It is very possible that you are a candidate for a diagnosis of transsexualism’ and that ‘Your gender issues are real, and should not be ignored’, but also that ‘Proceed with investigation of your possible transsexuality or transgenderism, but with caution’.

Good suggestions, but I would like your input... Thanks in advance!

 

[Tymeless]

if its like the test i took its was a decent indicator. Hang in there babes and you'll find your way. I'm not working at all right now either just doing the school thing myself but i had to work 2 jobs for awhile myself before i went back. Just hang in there and continue to question yourself so once your seeing a therapist you'll have a better understanding of yourself so they can begin to know how to help you

 

[ShyQuest]

Thanks so much for the support! This is helping a lot more then I thought it would... Now I can't wait to get a job and go see a professional.

 

[Tymeless]

Thanks so much for the support! This is helping a lot more then I thought it would... Now I can't wait to get a job and go see a professional.

Glad i can be of help. Some of the people not around here anymore and some of the people over in the vibe have been the most helpful and supportive people I could ask for so thats where I stand just returning the favor.

 

[SweetMerry]

I have thought of seeing a professional to help me, but... I'm scared of doing it. It's also something expensive and right now in my life, I can't afford it.

Is there a government sponsored mental health program in your area? Where I grew up, we had a program there that charged you based on your income. I attended for a while and the sessions were only $5 for the hour.

I feel I have to make a qualifying statement here. I'm not transgender, though my highschool sweet heart was born male and indentified as female. We worked through some of these same issues together, and if I knew now what I knew then, I would have encouraged her to see a good therapist even as a teenager. Not because I thought she was nuts and needed "fixing" (far from it), but because she could have used an objective, supportive person to help her take a look at all of the emotions and fears going on inside her.

Whether you choose to see a therapist or not, I wish you luck on your journey and hope you find what makes you happy.

 

[temp256]

Yes, I forgot to mention therapy is recommended, and needed to start hormones and eventually surgery. I've been going for about a year, but I don't get any real use out of it. I'm only there to get what I want.

 

[ShyQuest]

Is there a government sponsored mental health program in your area? Where I grew up, we had a program there that charged you based on your income. I attended for a while and the sessions were only $5 for the hour.

I feel I have to make a qualifying statement here. I'm not transgender, though my highschool sweet heart was born male and indentified as female. We worked through some of these same issues together, and if I knew now what I knew then, I would have encouraged her to see a good therapist even as a teenager. Not because I thought she was nuts and needed "fixing" (far from it), but because she could have used an objective, supportive person to help her take a look at all of the emotions and fears going on inside her.

Whether you choose to see a therapist or not, I wish you luck on your journey and hope you find what makes you happy.

I don't know of any health program like that... With the university we get a lot of things covered, but not therapists/psychologists. I know that with permanent government jobs, you can get them 100% covered, but I don't have such a job, nor will I get one anytime soon... Although... My parents do. This is something I know I'm not ready to tell them, but I've been thinking of going on the pretext of anxiety and depression (which goes along with my gender issues). It's still not something easy to talk about, and once I do see someone, I'm not sure I'll be able to bring the subject up... I have no idea what to say and how to say it. I’m going to make an appointment with my doctor so he can refer me to someone. That way I get to talk to someone and figure things out and get it paid for, but I won’t have to tell my parents right away.

How should I bring up the subject with the professional I go see?

Thank you! I have a feeling I will need all the luck I can get

 

[Tymeless]

That i can't really help you with my therapist is a specialist on the subject and thats how i found her and went to her.

 

[ShyQuest]

How did you find this specialist of yours?

 

[emap]

Shy honestly you need to not worry about how to tell the therapist. They know everything, well they don't but they like to come off that way, so really all you gotta do is show up answer questions and ask any that come to you. Your therapist most likely will figure it out pretty quick if you don't just ask.

As for finding the same type of therapist as Tyme has really just talk to the therapist you get sent to and get a refferal fo one from them if they are not already.

 

[ShyQuest]

Shy honestly you need to not worry about how to tell the therapist. They know everything, well they don't but they like to come off that way, so really all you gotta do is show up answer questions and ask any that come to you. Your therapist most likely will figure it out pretty quick if you don't just ask.

As for finding the same type of therapist as Tyme has really just talk to the therapist you get sent to and get a refferal fo one from them if they are not already.

Thanks for the help!

 

[Tymeless]

i found her on the internet

 

[ShyQuest]

i found her on the internet

Then I better start looking!

 

[MichelleWhoIs]

I don't know of any health program like that... With the university we get a lot of things covered, but not therapists/psychologists. I know that with permanent government jobs, you can get them 100% covered, but I don't have such a job, nor will I get one anytime soon... Although... My parents do. This is something I know I'm not ready to tell them, but I've been thinking of going on the pretext of anxiety and depression (which goes along with my gender issues). It's still not something easy to talk about, and once I do see someone, I'm not sure I'll be able to bring the subject up... I have no idea what to say and how to say it. I’m going to make an appointment with my doctor so he can refer me to someone. That way I get to talk to someone and figure things out and get it paid for, but I won’t have to tell my parents right away.

How should I bring up the subject with the professional I go see?

Thank you! I have a feeling I will need all the luck I can get

Shy is there a GBLT support group at the school that you are attending? If there is, you may find a lot of information that you seek. It would also give you a chance to meet with others face to face. I know how hard it is to ask questions in a discussion group on the net.

As for seeing a therapist/psycologist under the pretense of anxiety and depression, I would add a note of caution. I started out seeing a therapist under that pretense and I think he got the wrong impression. He never seemed to look past work and family stress as the cause of my depression. It wasn't until I started talking about emotions that he finally started to see the light so to speak. I know it's scary talking to someone about how we feel but you must find it within yourself to overcome that fear.

 

[ShyQuest]

Shy is there a GBLT support group at the school that you are attending? If there is, you may find a lot of information that you seek. It would also give you a chance to meet with others face to face. I know how hard it is to ask questions in a discussion group on the net.

As for seeing a therapist/psycologist under the pretense of anxiety and depression, I would add a note of caution. I started out seeing a therapist under that pretense and I think he got the wrong impression. He never seemed to look past work and family stress as the cause of my depression. It wasn't until I started talking about emotions that he finally started to see the light so to speak. I know it's scary talking to someone about how we feel but you must find it within yourself to overcome that fear.

There is a GLBT group, but I wouldn't know how to approach them... I think I'm still too unsure to see people, even if they're willing to help, and talk about myself on such a personal level...

For the professional, I'll meet them first then if everything goes well, I would want to try and mention my questioning. I don't think this is the reason for my depression/anxiety, but rather something that aggravates it. I would need someone who can help me in every facets of my life.

Thanks for the tips, they're always appreciated!

 

[ShyQuest]

I just got a referral to a physiatrist! But the actual appointment isn't set. It should be within a month... I'm nervous about it, but I can't wait to go.

I thought I'd use this as an excuse to bump up my thread

 

[Tymeless]

I just got a referral to a physiatrist! But the actual appointment isn't set. It should be within a month... I'm nervous about it, but I can't wait to go.

I thought I'd use this as an excuse to bump up my thread

congrats just know the first therapist might not be right for you. anyway you put it goodluck

 

[ShyQuest]

congrats just know the first therapist might not be right for you. anyway you put it goodluck

Yeah I am aware of that, but I'm hoping it works out!

And thank you!