Questionable relationship advice

[angela146]

Give us some relationship advice that works well for you but might not work all that well for other people.

Here's mine:

Item 1: Most "issues" can be resolved with a long hard spanking.

The ones that can't, well, at least you got a good spanking out of it.

ETA "Item 1" as a prefix

 

[human_male]

Avoid having anything at all to do with women.

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

Human Male, you're a cool dude. I hope you find what you're looking for. Don't fuck it up when you do.

 

[Vermilion]

If one of you is upset the other should sing the 'popcorn' song until a smile breaks through...

 

[scriptordelecto]

Give us some relationship advice that works well for you but might not work all that well for other people.

Here's mine:

Most "issues" can be resolved with a long hard spanking.

The ones that can't, well, at least you got a good spanking out of it.

Sounds like great advice to me.

 

[rachlou]

When a relationship ends, forget therapy, just go out and fuck as many new people as humanly possible. That will cure the heartbreak angst.

 

[Chantilyvamp]

Make sure to tell your wife while shes pmting that those trousers look a bit tight.

 

[Carnevil9]

The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Are we doing silly replies, or real ones?

My real reply is this;

When your S.O tells you he, or she, is feeling truly threatened by your second squeeze, drop the secondary partner.It might be tought, but do it. Never forget who's SIGNIFICANT to you.

This has worked for me and mine for thirty years!

 

[rgraham666]

My primary relationship is with my brain. We've had our problems, hardly talked to one another for a few years.

But we get along.

 

[N0madS0uL]

My primary relationship is with my brain. We've had our problems, hardly talked to one another for a few years.

But we get along.

QFTW!! LOL

On topic : I feel silence is the best therapy. Once you think the therapy worked, end it with a scream. Get it?

 

[scriptordelecto]

My primary relationship is with my brain. We've had our problems, hardly talked to one another for a few years.

But we get along.

LOL!
Have I mentioned how much I love you, Rob?

 

[scriptordelecto]

A piece of advice passed on from my Grandmother, that works well for me.

Never go to sleep angry with each other. Try to resolve your issues before you lay down together.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Repeat these words "Yes dear, you're right. I'm sorry, I don;t know what came over me. It will never happen again."

And even if she says "You're just saying that!" you can reply "yes dear, you're right. I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. It'll never happen again."

 

[oggbashan]

1. If she wants to do something her way, and you think her way is inefficient and time consuming, shut up and go and do something in another room.

2. Washing the kitchen floor, cleaning the toilets and bathrooms are best done while she is out, otherwise you will find you have picked the MOST inconvenient time to clean, disrupting her day.

3. Always put the toilet seat down after use.

Og

 

[Stella_Omega]

Repeat these words "Yes dear, you're right. I'm sorry, I don;t know what came over me. It will never happen again."

And even if she says "You're just saying that!" you can reply "yes dear, you're right. I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. It'll never happen again."

That's me with my sister

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

That's me with my sister

I'll use it on my wife when I am feeling mischievous and want to piss her off for no good reason.

The other great piece of relationship "advice" I heard was from a drunk guy at a wedding trying to explain this to the groom "Ok so a closed hand hurts way more than an open hand right? right. so for the first six weeks of marriage you hit her with an open hand, just hit, no reason right? right. ok then the next six weeks you hit her with a closed hand, and it hurts so much more that she will beg you for teh open hand and you will totally be king of your castle , right?"

To which I asked the whiskey soaked sage "And how long have you been married?"

"3 years so far, but I've been married 8 times, so in all, 20 years!"

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'll use it on my wife when I am feeling mischievous and want to piss her off for no good reason.

The other great piece of relationship "advice" I heard was from a drunk guy at a wedding trying to explain this to the groom "Ok so a closed hand hurts way more than an open hand right? right. so for the first six weeks of marriage you hit her with an open hand, just hit, no reason right? right. ok then the next six weeks you hit her with a closed hand, and it hurts so much more that she will beg you for teh open hand and you will totally be king of your castle , right?"

To which I asked the whiskey soaked sage "And how long have you been married?"

"3 years so far, but I've been married 8 times, so in all, 20 years!"

His name wasn't Jerry Lee Lewis, was it?

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

His name wasn't Jerry Lee Lewis, was it?

I wish!


I would have lifted his wallet it was.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I wish!


I would have lifted his wallet it was.

All his exes have already done that...

 

[Zeb_Carter]

1. Never, ever clean better than she does. If she can't find anything you did wrong your life will be miserable for a long time.

2. Never clean everything, always leave something dirty, complaining is her right and if she has nothing to complain about you will be unhappy for a long time.

3. See one and two.

 

[christabelll]

stellar advice?

If he didn't lay a hand on you, but you are still bruised, leave the S.O.B. (Old Friend)

Never sleep angry (sad but true)

Always approve his choice of the third wheel (if you are into swinging)

Be omniescent as to where he puts things and forgets about them (we are supposed to be psychic afterall)

And stay the hell out of her way if she is cleaning. You might get thrown out with the trash if you don't. (ITS TRUE!!!)

And if you are gonna do the laundry, you better read EVERY LABLE on her clothing, or you will have to pay for replacing what you just shrank to a toddlers size in the dryer! (and usually for three more outfits to boot)

Put your shoes away, don't leave them wherever you just managed to step out of them. (If she breaks a nail trying to save herself from crashing into the wall as she trips over your sneakers there will be HELL to pay)

Only washing the glasses is not doing the dishes ...(Since when are glasses the only dishes in the sink? Either do them all or don't bother!)

Always Always do what she says/asks when it comes to her pleasure in bed! (need I say more?)



heheheheh

(

 

[rgraham666]

LOL!
Have I mentioned how much I love you, Rob?

Yes. But it never hurts to remind me.

Love you too, beautiful.

 

[LadyCibelle]

Never mention his/her mother in the middle of an argument.

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

Always forgive, even if you can never forget.