question

[knight1090]

honest opinions please......
ARE WOMEN TURNED OFF BY HEALTH PROBLEMS??????
say for instance having a stroke?

 

[Missingmeds]

Knight I think that is a very hard question to answer. Alot depends on how the person with the problem handles it. It would also depend on how the person handles themselves.

So without knowing more about it all, I would be very reluctant to answer your question.

 

[Vay]

What a....disturbing question...

 

[Missingmeds]

What a....disturbing question...

Not really Vay...It is something again that different people have a different outlook on. But it is a valid question and it deserves a valid answer. The problem for me is that without knowing the extent of the disability and how the person that has it is affected it is a very tough question to answer.

 

[Vay]

Not really Vay...It is something again that different people have a different outlook on. But it is a valid question and it deserves a valid answer. The problem for me is that without knowing the extent of the disability and how the person that has it is affected it is a very tough question to answer.

I don't know. I think it's really the example given that's disturbing. Somehow I doubt worrying about someone who had a stroke is up there with wanting to have sex with them. Different mindset, ya know?

I think I said that wrong, but hopefully my point has gotten across.

 

[Missingmeds]

I think that you missed the question. I think what he is asking is if women find having sex with someone that has had a stroke is a problem. Or if they would have sex with someone that has had a stroke. That is the reason that I asked for clarification on the degree of debilitation. There are different types of strokes and therefore different degrees of debilitation to go along with them.


Knight, correct me if I am wrong.

 

[Vay]

I think that you missed the question. I think what he is asking is if women find having sex with someone that has had a stroke is a problem. Or if they would have sex with someone that has had a stroke. That is the reason that I asked for clarification on the degree of debilitation. There are different types of strokes and therefore different degrees of debilitation to go along with them.


Knight, correct me if I am wrong.

This is quite possibly the case. It wouldn't be the first time I've misread/misunderstood something.

Still think it's a horrible example to lead off with, though...

 

[Missingmeds]

Actually it is one of the most common ones especially in people over 10. A stroke can actually occur at any age and I would consider people that have mild to moderate brain damage from accidents to be in that same catagory.

 

[Vay]

Actually it is one of the most common ones especially in people over 10. A stroke can actually occur at any age and I would consider people that have mild to moderate brain damage from accidents to be in that same catagory.

As young as 10?! Sheesh! Then again, I'm used to stereotyping it with older people as the news and such tends to do, but I have heard of reasonablly young people having 'em too. Actually, I think that happened to an acquaintance in High School.

Gee, don't I feel like a dumbass...

 

[bamagirl00]

[
Gee, don't I feel like a dumbass... [/B]

congrats now you are part of the club lol

 

[brnbutta]

Knight I think that is a very hard question to answer. Alot depends on how the person with the problem handles it. It would also depend on how the person handles themselves.

So without knowing more about it all, I would be very reluctant to answer your question.

I agree. I think this is a question that would probably be answered by the level of health problems to how the person handles it. Given your example, there are many levels of strokes. Mild to servere. In knowing a male friend who has suffered a stroke at the age of 32, he lives his life today at the age of 46 dealing very well with his disablility. While rehabilitation consist of having to be taught all over again. From his motor skills to his speech, he is able to carry on an active sex life. This coming from the praise of his last two relationships. While he has problems with his speech and slow motor skills in his left hand, women don't seem to find this a disadvantage.

No pun intended but, "different strokes for different folks". It the level of the stroke and how the individual deals with his disablilty.

However, I am sure if he sat around feeling sorry for himself and playing the role of the "totally feel sorry for me disabled person" there are women that would probably come to his rescue, but there would be just as many women that would see him as a turn off or just "Larry, the disabled stroke victim"

 

[Missingmeds]

I agree. I think this is a question that would probably be answered by the level of health problems to how the person handles it. Given your example, there are many levels of strokes. Mild to servere. In knowing a male friend who has suffered a stroke at the age of 32, he lives his life today at the age of 46 dealing very well with his disablility. While rehabilitation consist of having to be taught all over again. From his motor skills to his speech, he is able to carry on an active sex life. This coming from the praise of his last two relationships. While he has problems with his speech and slow motor skills in his left hand, women don't seem to find this a disadvantage.

No pun intended but, "different strokes for different folks". It the level of the stroke and how the individual deals with his disablilty.

However, I am sure if he sat around feeling sorry for himself and playing the role of the "totally feel sorry for me disabled person" there are women that would probably come to his rescue, but there would be just as many women that would see him as a turn off or just "Larry, the disabled stroke victim"

I totally agree with you on this one especially that last sentence.

 

[knight1090]

hmmmmm

I was not nreally talking about having sex, rather about a woman's acceptance.But, thank you all for your replies

 

[brnbutta]

words and terms

honest opinions please......
ARE WOMEN TURNED OFF BY HEALTH PROBLEMS??????
say for instance having a stroke?

In reference to your post just above, I apologize if my reply to your question leaned towards sex. The term "Turned Off" where I come from usually refers to one's arousement, and in more cases sexual.

Understand this. Women in general have acceptance for many things and on a very large level. It's our nature, for women are very nuturing. However, in the world today, women have gotten smarter and we recongize a pain in the ass, whining man when we see one. While I can't speak for all women, there is a large population of women that accept you for the person that you present yourself as. We no longer want to be tied down with men's excess baggage, sad ass stories, jealous ways and in some cases bad sexual habits. We want to live life to it's fullest, while enjoying the laughter of good company. We want to be understood for all of our sexual pleasures and accepted for all our sexual fantasies. We want to be "turned on, turned up and in some cases bedded down". So no matter what the handicap, your acceptance from a women pretty much boils down to how you present yourself mentally.

and by the way, your quote:

I was not nreally talking about having sex, rather about a woman's acceptance.But, thank you all for your replies

How can you not really talk about sex... here on Lit?

 

[bamagirl]

I agree with the other ladies.

I work in the health care field and the way your accepted is based on your attitude. most people are very accepting of any disability if they are presented with a posative attitude.

 

[Vay]

I agree with the other ladies.

I work in the health care field and the way your accepted is based on your attitude. most people are very accepting of any disability if they are presented with a posative attitude.

And with good spelling!

Just had to jump on that, bama

As for the acceptance in a non-sexual way, your wording is misleading, hence my response. As for being attracted and generally accepting, it is (as it is with everything) all about attitude.

 

[bamagirl]

And with good spelling!

Just had to jump on that, bama

As for the acceptance in a non-sexual way, your wording is misleading, hence my response. As for being attracted and generally accepting, it is (as it is with everything) all about attitude.

lol Vay I never promised I could spell!! I just take care of old people and disabled

 

[Vay]

lol Vay I never promised I could spell!! I just take care of old people and disabled

And we appreciate what you do!

 

[bamagirl]

And we appreciate what you do!

Thank You

 

[Vay]

Thank You

Oh you're very welcome.

 

[EriMaleTx]

Hi, I wrote this a while ago, but no one responded, so I thought I would try it here and see if anyone had any thoughts. Sorry that it is kind of long, but it's something that I've been wanting to share for a long time. I don't want to derail this thread if the posters want to continue talking about strokes or the like, but I thought it was a good example of maybe what the original posters were talking about. Feedback is of course encouraged. Here goes:


Hi, I wasn't sure what to call this thread, but I saw how much people connected in the "Caregivers to an ill spouse" thread, and wanted this to be somewhat related. Also I wanted to tell my story and get advice or hear the stories of others.

Anyway, my story has a (somewhat) happy ending, and I hope it will be uplifting, and not seem like I'm bragging or anything. I guess I should start by saying I'm male, 5'4", about 120 lbs, almost 25, living in Texas. I'm also a virgin with no sexual experience (I've never even kissed a girl). The rest you should be able to pick up (I hope this doesn't get too long).

About a year ago, after some troubling symptoms which I won't go into, I saw a few doctors, had some tests done, and was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, a chronic disease that causes ulcers in the colon. It is thought to be genetic, and cannot be passed from person to person.

I got sick quickly, and ended up spending two weeks in the hospital, where I lost 30 pounds of muscle that I definitely couldn't afford to lose. Getting out, I was on a lot of medication and would get tired easily. Reading up on my disease, I would hear two phrases that were supposed to be comforting, but that I would dread reading. They were:

"Even with this disease you can live a happy and healthy life." To me, this translated to "You will have to constantly think about getting this disease under control." Basically, that this wasn't just something that would go away.

The other is sex related (you know I had to get there eventually, right?). It said "There are other ways to show your love besides intercourse." Of course this is true, but what this meant to me was "Your entire sex life has just changed forever for the worse. You may not always be healthy enough to be intimate in any way." This was especially a blow since I had never even had a sex life before.

To skip over some parts and make this shorter, over the next year I tried hard in terms of my diet and exercise to get this disease under control, and it worked better than I ever imagined. Now I am healthier and in better shape than ever. After my condition went into remission, I went back to distance running, and am about to start running over 80 miles a week (no small task in the heat here). I started lifting weights regularly and built all my muscle back and more. About a month ago, I decided that I could probably go back to eating whatever I wanted, but then decided instead to go the more healthy route, and my body has reacted very positively.

Soon, I hope to find someone to share my health with. I know my sex life can be better than ever. I'm still batting zero in the sex and relationship department, but hopefully that will change. However, here are a few things I still worry about:

1. When to tell the person I am dating about my condition. The books I read say to make a connection first, but not to wait too long. After thinking about it, that makes sense to me. Switching scenarios, I would certainly date someone with diabetes, depression, etc., but if they bring it up on the first date, then that says to me that their condition has a lot of control over them, which is a lot to handle. If they bring it up confidently on the third or fourth date, I know that I'm dating the person, not the disease.

2. What if I get sick again? Knowing about my condition now, I think I'll be able to act fast and get things under control, and this shouldn't be a problem. Of course, things could get bad and maybe I'll need hospital care or surgery again, but I don't want to focus on what may happen in the future and just live my life now.

3. Will a woman accept my healthy lifestyle? I gave up the tiny bit of drinking I did, as well as going to restaurants (I still go some, but I try to be healthy. Once a week at most). I hope the benefits of having me as a partner will outweigh these inconviences. Anyway, who would want to go out a lot when your partner has 25 years of sex to catch up on? (Not that I should have been having sex between the ages of 0 and 18, but you get the idea).

Anyway, any similar stories people want to share? Or advice? I just wanted to share this with people. I hope you don't mind. Also, any parts I left out that you are curious about, let me know.

EriMaleTx


Any thoughts?

 

[brnbutta]

bamagirl

And with good spelling!

Just had to jump on that, bama

Hey Vay. . . lol

If BAMA foods can put out BAMA Jelly and BAMA Syrup, (which are found in most Southern markets,) why the Hell can't Lit have a BAMAGIRL?

There was no misspelling here. This is a term used most often by those who live in or are from Alabama.

Oh Gosh no, don't tell me.

Are you one of these politically correct men who prefer to use proper terms and correct their partners during sex?

"Ohhh..... baby don't say ass, say rectum"

"ohhhhh.... don't say pussy, say vagina"

hmmmm, if you are, let me inform your that this is a serious handicap. Viewed by some as a mental health problem, which does not rate high on the women's acceptance scale

 

[EriMaleTx]

I'm sorry! I didn't mean to kill this thread! You can all just ignore my comment if you don't want to respond to it.

I just wanted some feedback on my situation, but if people would rather not respond to it that is fine too!

 

[bamagirl]

EriMaleTx I am not sure how to respond to you Hun.

I do think that you should estabilsh a connection and then be honest with her. I know that for me a health problem would not matter if I like someone.
Just be open and honest is my advice.

As far as sex it seems you should be fine there,and during the periods you can't there is other ways of sastifying a partner.

 

[EriMaleTx]

Thanks for the advice. Maybe this particular topic is harder to respond to than I thought. I just thought that maybe it was a good specific example to the question that was asked? Nice to know this now minor health concern would not matter much to you. I hope more people feel the same way.

I think I just got scared that no one was responding both times I put this message up, since I hoped it would not be a big deal to people. After all, I am in better shape than most now, I believe.

Thanks again for responding.