Question: Use of explicit vs euphemistic language...

[FrancisDashwood]

Hi there,

I'm brand new to lit and erotic literature in general. I'm writing my first erotic story and would dearly love some advice on the appropriate or best use of language when describing the more intimate scenes (please forgive me if this question has been answered or if this is the wrong place to post--I did search for similar threads, but am just getting to know my way around here).

So here's my question: is it better (e.g. more erotic, more exciting, more sensual, etc.) to describe various "intimate" moments in a euphemistic way ("He took his Tad Twilliger out and gollysopped Theresa's Lady-basket"), or in a more direct, explicit way ("He pulled out his raging hard...")? Does it depend on the tone of the story?

My feeling is that the more direct way is actually more exciting (like talking dirty in bed), but I don't wan't to ruin a classy story by using inappropriate language.

Many thanks in advance...

 

[sr71plt]

There's no better or worse; just different. There are thousands and thousands of readers on Lit., each with her/his own reading interests. Write what appeals to you.

 

[Darkniciad]

I absolutely take advantage of the crudity ( or lack thereof ) of the word choice in the sex scenes to math the tone of the story.

However, I would stay away from that extreme sanitized example ( unless you're writing humor, in which case it may be entirely appropriate ) *laugh*

Keep in mind that you're posting on a sex story site, so a certain degree of crudity is expected. Otherwise, it's Harlequin Romance.

You just have to find the balance according to the tale you're telling.

 

[lovecraft68]

Hi there,

I'm brand new to lit and erotic literature in general. I'm writing my first erotic story and would dearly love some advice on the appropriate or best use of language when describing the more intimate scenes (please forgive me if this question has been answered or if this is the wrong place to post--I did search for similar threads, but am just getting to know my way around here).

So here's my question: is it better (e.g. more erotic, more exciting, more sensual, etc.) to describe various "intimate" moments in a euphemistic way ("He took his Tad Twilliger out and gollysopped Theresa's Lady-basket"), or in a more direct, explicit way ("He pulled out his raging hard...")? Does it depend on the tone of the story?

My feeling is that the more direct way is actually more exciting (like talking dirty in bed), but I don't wan't to ruin a classy story by using inappropriate language.

Many thanks in advance...

Although I suppose there is no right way, I have to be honest with you. If I ever read the first example you wrote it would be such a turn off I would click off and not return. I hope you were exaggerating there.

Personally there is a happy medium, and I don;t see how some crude language would ruin a "classy" story. If you're bringing in hardcore sex the reader will expect it.

tell you what though, I can give you a third option. We could go with "medical" terms.

"As my fully engorged penis, strained for release, I watched as Theresa fondled her breast with one hand, as the other strayed down to her vagina, which was glistening from her secretions.

 

[PennLady]

I have to side with those who say there's no right answer. In my experience it depends on the story and what tone you're aiming for. It also depends on the characters in your story; if you have someone shy about sex, it'd probably be odd to have them suddenly start using terms like cock and pussy. By the same token, a character that is more open, or crude, or whatever, would sound weird if they went with euphemisms.

 

[BONNIEBREA]

With your first suggestion some readers may have a difficult time at first trying to figure out what you're talking about before they get on board. The second way turns me off - not because of the explicit language or references, but because the usage is in such a cliched erotica frame of reference (the world of 'raging hard-ons' and 'sopping wet pussies').

It's better to be thoughtful as a writer and develop your own vocabulary and syntax for describing such encounters.

I write all my stories in first-person POV, so the issue of how to describe erotic/sexual/romantic encounters is really dictated by the first-person character's frame of reference generally and how the character would react to that situation in particular (reveling in the eroticism, just looking for a good hard banging, cuddling and luxuriating in the romance of the encounter, etc.). It's one of the reasons I like first-person POV so - it really allows you to step away from your own voice and way of doing things, and you get the benefit from story to story of the variety of perceptions that come from a variety of characters.

 

[jomar]

...Write what appeals to you.

Me being an expert and all...this ^^.

Write it an put it out there and live and learn.

 

[lovecraft68]

I have to side with those who say there's no right answer. In my experience it depends on the story and what tone you're aiming for. It also depends on the characters in your story; if you have someone shy about sex, it'd probably be odd to have them suddenly start using terms like cock and pussy. By the same token, a character that is more open, or crude, or whatever, would sound weird if they went with euphemisms.

True, especially in the case of first time stories where the virgin goes from entering the bedroom with a trembling lip to calling out "Oh, yeah baby, fuck me with that big hard cock!" by which point said hard cock is already in her ass and she is loving it.

 

[autoplot]

Another vote for "depends on your audience." Some people love reading (and writing) humorous euphemisms. One author I edited a while back talked about her partner's "love fungus" (penis) giving her "mushroom madness." I found that about as arousing as a freeway accident, but I'm sure that does it for somebody out there.

 

[mynameisben]

I am totally stealing "He took his Tad Twilliger out and gollysopped Theresa's Lady-basket."

Euphemism vs. porno-speak. Good question. Put me in the wishy-washy camp of "there is no right answer." It's a judgement call that You have to make, based on your own personal style as an author and on the style of your characters. Always be true to your characters. If your characters are about to bang one out in the parking lot behind the adult bookstore, let him whip out his cunt skewer and pork her slathering jizz hole. If they are tittering Victorian prudes, then prithee tell of her Lady-basket preparations and of the gollysopping intentions for his noble seed.

And if it is a period piece, don't whipsaw your readers across the centuries with some god-awful compromise like, "Heaven's cherubs wept as he slipped his jousting lance into Lady Wellington's Snooki-snatch, whereupon he befiddled her as effortlessly as a nobleman's chainsaw rips through meat soaked in Valvoline." I damn near cancelled my subscription to Skank! after I read that one.

 

[jomar]

And if it is a period piece, don't whipsaw your readers across the centuries with some god-awful compromise like, "Heaven's cherubs wept as he slipped his jousting lance into Lady Wellington's Snooki-snatch, whereupon he befiddled her as effortlessly as a nobleman's chainsaw rips through meat soaked in Valvoline." I damn near cancelled my subscription to Skank! after I read that one.

No doubt. There was no Valvoline back then. Got to get the research right.

 

[Stella_Omega]

"befiddled" is really good, though. I wish I'd thought of that one.

 

[mynameisben]

"befiddled" is really good, though. I wish I'd thought of that one.

Consider it done. It's all yours, Stella.

 

[TE999]

You might also try mixing explicit terms (cock and pussy) with less blatant ones (love hammer and dripping slit) for variety if nothing else. Reading the same terms for the naughty bits over and over gets boring.

 

[Pure]

lovey:said I can give you a third option. We could go with "medical" terms.

"As my fully engorged penis, strained for release, I watched as Theresa fondled her breast with one hand, as the other strayed down to her vagina, which was glistening from her secretions.

from a medical POV, in the situation described, it rare to catch sight of a glistening vagina.

 

[TE999]

lovey:said I can give you a third option. We could go with "medical" terms.

"As my fully engorged penis, strained for release, I watched as Theresa fondled her breast with one hand, as the other strayed down to her vagina, which was glistening from her secretions.

from a medical POV, in the situation described, it's rare to catch sight of a glistening vagina.

I saw one the other day while bird watching, also a Common Ground Roasted Twit and a Brown Streaked Farting Magpie.

 

[jomar]

...

Reading the same terms for the naughty bits over and over gets boring.

I dunno...might depend on the author's style and, to some extent, category.

 

[kimbalee]

You might also try mixing explicit terms (cock and pussy) with less blatant ones (love hammer and dripping slit) for variety if nothing else. Reading the same terms for the naughty bits over and over gets boring.

I just liked the term "naughty bits."

 

[jomar]

I just liked the term "naughty bits."

I got your naughty bits right here!

 

[kimbalee]

I got your naughty bits right here!

LMAO!

I have missed you jo. lol

 

[Weird Harold]

So here's my question: is it better (e.g. more erotic, more exciting, more sensual, etc.) to describe various "intimate" moments in a euphemistic way ..., or in a more direct, explicit way

The tone and choice of terms totally depends on the narrative voice -- an impersonal narrator would use impersonal terms; a timid virgin would use euphemisms according to her upbringing; a jaded rake would use a jaded tone and terms. Every person has a set of terms that they internalize and use in preference to all others; figure what the narrative POV's terms are and use those.

 

[FrancisDashwood]

All great advice! I think I get the picture. Thank you very much!

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

Here is something that may be helpful if you are writing a story with with a little rougher language.

http://onlineslangdictionary.com/thesaurus/words+meaning+penis.html

There is a search function at the top. I would suggest using the anatomical terms for that. Once the new page is displayed scroll to the bottom and there is a search box with your original word in it. Click and you should get a list of slang words used to refer to what you are looking for.

My favorite slang phrase for a penis is: Purple veined tonsil tickler. I sometimes write stories for a few friends. I used the purple veined... thing in one and didn't get a single comment. (G) Have fun with it if that is your style.

Mike

 

[Anjasa]

I'm apparently considered a fairly crude writer in some circles because I like the word 'cunt'. It's not because I'm trying to be offensive (though they feel it's an offensive word), but because it sounds strong. Hard. Unyielding.

They say that we shouldn't use it because cunt is often used as an insult - but so is pussy, cock, asshole, tool...

For a stronger character, then, I'll often tend towards 'cunt'. For a softer character, I tend towards 'pussy' or 'cunny' because they're soft, cute words.

I don't often read stories that are only euphemistic, though I will enjoy stories that mix the two effectively. I like sex acts to be described in full.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

The rule used to be: use euphemisms when writing for women, use direct language when writing for men. But that was a long time ago, before the explosion in female porn that came with the internet and women's liberation in general.

It's still a choice whether to use pussy, cunt, slit, vagina, between her legs, womanhood (although this one is sadly dated) etc. Same with dick, cock, manhood (dated), prick, member, shaft, penis, willie... They all have different connotations and implications.

It really depends on your characters and the mood you're trying to establish in a scene. If they're shy and it's a first date, she might tentatively stroke his member or he may nervously caress her femininity. She's certainly not going to grab his cock and he's not going to start fingering her cooze in that kind of situation.

And no woman in a situation of high passion is going to ask a man to insert his willie into her vajayjay.