Question to Married bi guys and/or bi guys with a girlfriend

[bicuriousosaur]

How did you guys feel when you told your wives/girlfriends that you like both men and women? I am asking cause I just talked and jerked off for this cute older (by 10 years) guy a little while ago, and he is married and might tell his wife.

Also, should I be guilty for doing that with him?

 

[College_geek]

How did you guys feel when you told your wives/girlfriends that you like both men and women? I am asking cause I just talked and jerked off for this cute older (by 10 years) guy a little while ago, and he is married and might tell his wife.

Also, should I be guilty for doing that with him?

This might not be a response you're looking for, but my boyfriend had told me he was bi a few weeks before we started going out. I had mixed feelings at first, but as time went on, decided that I loved it. It depends on the woman. I know many women who would get freaked out at the idea, but I also know many women who would jump at the chance to have a bi boyfriend/husband.

 

[bi_asian_guy]

*****

 

[anne27]

I really don't think playing with other people without your spouse's knowledge is a very nice thing to do, but the fault of that lies with the man you jerked off and not with you. He made his decision and it's 'his bad', since he's the one who's married.
As to you feeling guilty, that's kinda your call. I've felt guilty over very small, very stupid things and then had no guilt at all when I've done some things that I never should have done. I always thought guilt was one of those things you either felt or you didn't *shrugs*.

I'll send my hubby this way and let him answer how he felt about telling me he was bi. I know I was nervous as hell when I told him I was bi.

 

[TennesseeMe]

How did you guys feel when you told your wives/girlfriends that you like both men and women? I am asking cause I just talked and jerked off for this cute older (by 10 years) guy a little while ago, and he is married and might tell his wife.

Also, should I be guilty for doing that with him?

It is actually a relief to share your feelings with the one person you care about the most. The secret that he is carrying is his burden to bear. If he doesn't think his spouse can handle the facts then he shouldn't tell her, but he also should not react on those urges. If he feels she can handle the facts and share experiences with him then he needs to communicate with her. You say you talked and jerked off for him. Do you mean in real life or online? I have watched married men jack off on line and their wife not know. Do I feel guilty, not one bit.

 

[bicuriousosaur]

It's pretty much just the Internet, and it was last night. I guess you guys are right that I shouldn't be really burden by this.

A while back, this guy I considered a good friend was on the Internet and he was drunked. Well, I was jerking off (surprise, surprise), and he asked to view my webcam. Well, this guy is married, but his wife knows that he is bi. I jerked off for him, and I knew he was enjoying himself...until he realized it was wrong. Later on, a couple told me what he did was wrong, and that I should feel a little bit of the guilt. I am Roman-Catholic, so you can understand why I have a high sense of morals. The guy went religious on me, and I think we stopped being friends.

So, does that sound fucked up?

 

[Stefani]

Also, should I be guilty for doing that with him?

Why should you be guilty? Did you hurt someone? It's not like you f--'d him and gave him AIDS, right? If you're worried because he's married, he's the one that should feel guilty, not you.

Also, not sure why you are asking us how you should feel. That's really your business.

 

[bicuriousosaur]

Because, I am asking on advice. Why do you have to be rude anyway?

 

[robbie_boy1]

It is actually a relief to share your feelings with the one person you care about the most. The secret that he is carrying is his burden to bear. If he doesn't think his spouse can handle the facts then he shouldn't tell her, but he also should not react on those urges. If he feels she can handle the facts and share experiences with him then he needs to communicate with her. You say you talked and jerked off for him. Do you mean in real life or online? I have watched married men jack off on line and their wife not know. Do I feel guilty, not one bit.

I too felt happy that my wife accepted it and even joined me in it. Thank you for sharing that, TM

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

I was lucky my wife and I had been married for a couple of years and we were exploring some of our fantasies and she was the first person that I ever admitted to having fantasies about other men. With her we explored that side of my sexuality. So there was never a coming out more of a joint discovery.

As for the other question, No you shouldn't feel guilty, it was his choice, if it had not been you it would have been someone else or gay porn. Being brought up Roman Catholic I can see why you feel that you should, guilt is built into the system lol, how else they going to get you into church and get you to put that guilt money into the plate.

 

[lustybard]

to be completely honest ...

... I told her before we got together that I sometimes felt attracted to people, despite their gender. And she had no problem with that, as long as it was only a theoretical liking, not an actual "I'm involved with someone else."

Which I haven't really been ... except that I tend to think of online as a fantasy world, where anything is okay. Sometimes I feel guilty about that, but sometimes I don't care. To be completely honest.

I can be monogamous in the 'real world'. Here, I need to play. Particularly when I have longings that need to be expressed.

 

[Stefani]

Because, I am asking on advice. Why do you have to be rude anyway?

If I was rude, I apologize. Was not trying to be.

Just didn't understand why you were asking us how you "should" feel. You feel what you feel, regardless of what we think.

 

[Little Bird]

I became aware of my bisexuality after I came to understand, that my first love really did not love me and we got back to be the really close freinds we where (yes, even this comes to happen from time to time ). I felt attracted to another guy and she was one of the first I told of it. She didn't had any problems with this and was only a bit surprised to hear this of her shy little boy (she's four years older than me). I told this guy to of it, and surprisingly he was not shocked, too! He said he was not attractet to males but maybe he did not met the right guy, yet. Seems I was not the right guy, but now I'm very happy of it (stupid ******!)
When I met my girl we talked much about what guys and girls we like (I had allready thought it for a month, when I got her to commit, that she had plans with me ) and so she knew early of my sexual orientation. In fact she has the fantasy to have sex with me and another girl!

To say the truth, of all my friends there are maybe three or four who do not have at least a slight interesst in both genders, and two of theese are gay!

 

[bicuriousosaur]

Stefani,

It's more of advice than "How I should feel". Basically, I should've said that should I continue to talk to this married man. He doesn't seem to be a bad guy, though I think he's one of those guys who get on webcam and talk about his sexuality, and view a bunch of booty and dick.

The funny thing, I have found myself more attracted by married guys. I think it's just the fact that I know how they feel, that sensual, almost desperate, attitude. I know it's wrong on both our parts, but, why should I be guilty for them "cyber-cheating" on their spouse. Also, sometimes, some married men probably are in a loveless relationship that they can't get out of, so the sex with men thing does sound pretty good.

 

[lustybard]

The funny thing, I have found myself more attracted by married guys. I think it's just the fact that I know how they feel, that sensual, almost desperate, attitude. I know it's wrong on both our parts, but, why should I be guilty for them "cyber-cheating" on their spouse. Also, sometimes, some married men probably are in a loveless relationship that they can't get out of, so the sex with men thing does sound pretty good.

And some of them don't have any problems with their marriage, but men still sound pretty good and they figure they can at least TALK about it.

You're right about the attitude, as well. It may be wrong, but it's hard to resist.

 

[GaryC]

When i told my then girl friend of my being bi

Before I married I had been very active with both men and women.

I thought it fair to tell the lady I had been dating for a year of my attracion to both men and women. I also told her that all of that was on hold for me and it had been for months since she and I had became intimate. At that point I had thought that she and I might marry.

She had at first told me that we would not have sex again but that she wanted us to continue dating. I think what she feared was that I would return to my having sex with others and the risk of disease. I think also that she was overcoming her reluctance to marry me based upon the great differences we had in background. My having been with men disturbed her but I think that more for a thought of my having serviced men (as opposed to being the ejcaulator rather than the ejacultee). A few days later I told her that without her trust in my being faithful to her and not seeing others (male or female) then there was no reason for us to continue to date.

She amazed me by asking me to promise that even with any desire for others (men especially) I could look but not touch. That she would show me that she trusted my promise by marrying with me as soon as I would chose.

To this point I have honored that promise and have had a very good married life. Now and then she asks about sex between men and men. In the first few years of our marrage we would go to parties and I would encounter men I had had sex with. While the men would not say anything about gayness my wife would always intuite what was happening and later ask "Was that one of your lovers?".

 

[zekealicious]

It was one of the things about me that intrigued my wife when we first met. She is one of those women ready to admit that the idea of two men playing can be arousing. We've never actually explored in in real life (together that is...I've been a little more experimental in life but we are tryingto change that )but we do incoporate the theme into our role playing sometimes....