Question on the Lifestyle

[weekender]

How many of you live the lifestyle 24/7....I can't seem to do it myself...in the bedroom I have no problem...but outside of my sex life, I cant seem to continue it. What is it like...I feel that it ruins my sex life.

Any opinions?

 

[bound]

How many of you live the lifestyle 24/7....I can't seem to do it myself...in the bedroom I have no problem...but outside of my sex life, I cant seem to continue it. What is it like...I feel that it ruins my sex life.

Any opinions?

Ruins your sex life? I'm confused... Alot of people are strictly bdsm in the bedroom. I can't do that myself, but I've been living the lifestyle pretty much 24/7 for years.

 

[weekender]

Re: Re: Question on the Lifestyle

Ruins your sex life? I'm confused... Alot of people are strictly bdsm in the bedroom. I can't do that myself, but I've been living the lifestyle pretty much 24/7 for years.

well I guess what I mean is I hear people refer to master everyday...and let me ask master...I feel in the bed room I like to control...but not much into the master thing...I love the control and being in charge...I guess a better question would have been is that considered BDSM?

 

[bound]

Re: Re: Re: Question on the Lifestyle

well I guess what I mean is I hear people refer to master everyday...and let me ask master...I feel in the bed room I like to control...but not much into the master thing...I love the control and being in charge...I guess a better question would have been is that considered BDSM?

There are a zillion definitions for this lifestyle. You have to make it what is right for you. There are plenty of women that are into bondage/pain that don't want to be dominated outside of bed, it's not uncommon at all. Just find a good balance for you and your partner and don't worry about the semantics. If you're happy, that's all that matters.

 

[weekender]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Question on the Lifestyle

There are a zillion definitions for this lifestyle. You have to make it what is right for you. There are plenty of women that are into bondage/pain that don't want to be dominated outside of bed, it's not uncommon at all. Just find a good balance for you and your partner and don't worry about the semantics. If you're happy, that's all that matters.

Thank you that made me feel better....I thought I was doing something wrong. We are very happy with our lifestyle, although it is more of a friend with benifits things...but none the less we have a good time...

 

[catalina_francisco]

Welcome to the board. As already said there are many varied ways of participating in BDSM, none more authentic or better than another, but more suited to those involved. 24/7 is a lifestyle choice which is often misunderstood as denying a submissive any thoughts or mind of their own etc. These threads might give you some more ideas as to the variations of 24/7 itself, and those within it.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=222185

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=113485

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=89960

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=190373

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=179518

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=94196

Catalina

 

[weekender]

Welcome to the board. As already said there are many varied ways of participating in BDSM, none more authentic or better than another, but more suited to those involved. 24/7 is a lifestyle choice which is often misunderstood as denying a submissive any thoughts or mind of their own etc. These threads might give you some more ideas as to the variations of 24/7 itself, and those within it.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=222185

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=113485

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=89960

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=190373

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=179518

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=94196

Catalina

Thank you catalina...I will read through those.

Are you in or have been in a 24/7

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thank you catalina...I will read through those.

Are you in or have been in a 24/7

24/7 TPE Master/slave which works for us but is not for everybody.

Catalina

 

[Phoenix Stone]

And then there are those of us who are real lightweights. Don't like much pain (hickies are nice) or even care for bondage, just like being controlled.

(I like handson, and would go along with being tied up or maybe more pain, as much as I could take, but luckily my partner isn't into those. Unluckily, we are still working on what's going to work for us, as he would be just as happy being vanilla.)

Anyway, just thought I'd speak from the other end of the continuum, as there are some of us around who related to the underlying motivations and interests, and especially the mental aspects of control and d/s, even with no need or interest in taking it as far. (Hope I said that in a good respectful way, as I meant it.) So it took me a while to figure out that I really fit here.

So far, it's almost all sexual, and don't know if we want it to change anything outside of the bedroom, but suspect there are some shifts even there, as I become more sensitive to what a controlling bitch I am outside of the bedroom!

(As I develop my Inner Sub in the bedroom, I lay off a little in the living room -- and, get braver outside of the house! Interesting paradox for a feminist. Subbing your way to socio-political Confidence! Just a coincidence? Dunno. But who'da thunk it?)

 

[ethicalslut]

I've found that for me, personally, I've only been able to become truly submissive in the bedroom once I became truly confident and go-get-'em outside the bedroom. In my case, the two seem to compliment each other perfectly. Some like to have one persona for their entire life, both sexual and non-sexual. Me? I'm a gemini, so I dig the duality in my personality.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I've found that for me, personally, I've only been able to become truly submissive in the bedroom once I became truly confident and go-get-'em outside the bedroom. In my case, the two seem to compliment each other perfectly. Some like to have one persona for their entire life, both sexual and non-sexual. Me? I'm a gemini, so I dig the duality in my personality.

LOL, from one Gemini to another, I do think the duality is something we enjoy and which makes it easy for us to adapt to almost anything...at least June Gemini's anyway...some in May I find are less adaptable but depends on the circumstances and place.

Catalina

 

[weekender]

And then there are those of us who are real lightweights. Don't like much pain (hickies are nice) or even care for bondage, just like being controlled.

(I like handson, and would go along with being tied up or maybe more pain, as much as I could take, but luckily my partner isn't into those. Unluckily, we are still working on what's going to work for us, as he would be just as happy being vanilla.)

Anyway, just thought I'd speak from the other end of the continuum, as there are some of us around who related to the underlying motivations and interests, and especially the mental aspects of control and d/s, even with no need or interest in taking it as far. (Hope I said that in a good respectful way, as I meant it.) So it took me a while to figure out that I really fit here.

So far, it's almost all sexual, and don't know if we want it to change anything outside of the bedroom, but suspect there are some shifts even there, as I become more sensitive to what a controlling bitch I am outside of the bedroom!

(As I develop my Inner Sub in the bedroom, I lay off a little in the living room -- and, get braver outside of the house! Interesting paradox for a feminist. Subbing your way to socio-political Confidence! Just a coincidence? Dunno. But who'da thunk it?)

I know what you mean....that is the way I am...I can't bring myself to the lifestyle outside the bedroom.....but then again I am new to all this...so one never knows.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Interesting paradox for a feminist. Subbing your way to socio-political Confidence! Just a coincidence? Dunno. But who'da thunk it?)

For me I think feminism is great grounds for a strong sub/slave.....made the choice that much easier, and not ridden with doubt, knowing I had already fought the battles in life and survived against the odds many times, so then chose to give away that freedom and power knowing I was not making that choice because I needed someone else to take over my life. LOL, lucky I was not attempting this transition while working toward topping the year level in Feminist Study.....gave my favourite Feminist enough heartache when I chose to dispute some of her long held views and proved my point so well she said she no longer could argue to the contrary and feel valid. Mmmmm, I suspect she would have blessed me with another of those raised eyebrows and asked if I was sure I wanted to risk my record and marks.

Catalina

 

[GoodGurlGoneBad]

weekender

How many of you live the lifestyle 24/7....I can't seem to do it myself...in the bedroom I have no problem...but outside of my sex life, I cant seem to continue it. What is it like...I feel that it ruins my sex life.

Any opinions?

I live a 24/7 life with my dominant and it does take some struggle as I also have kids. In the bedroom there is no troubles, outside of the bedroom when they eyes and ears are around, there is a natural assumption, an understanding that is always there. He is the top, I am the submissive. When you first begin to venture into the world of 24/7 it does take some semblence of an conscious effort to train your mind of the roles, but as time passes, it just becomes without any real thought.

 

[Etoile]

I kind of like the way I put it back in February:
It's not so much that everything must be controlled by the dom...but rather that the dom has the option to control everything. At least that's the way I see it.

 

[Netzach]

(As I develop my Inner Sub in the bedroom, I lay off a little in the living room -- and, get braver outside of the house! Interesting paradox for a feminist. Subbing your way to socio-political Confidence! Just a coincidence? Dunno. But who'da thunk it?)

Wowee, never thought about this, here's food for thought.

I'm certainly at a point where I know a femsub can be feminist, that these things can be reconciled on some abstract level, it's all about choosing what fulfills and having options, but I'd not looked at this angle....I hadn't considered what that would look like, how those mechanics would work.

In a way, domestic submission can be seen as "picking one's battles"

It's obvious though, totally obvious now that you put it this way. I don't think it's a concidence, I think it's really interesting. Big Hmmmmm.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Wowee, never thought about this, here's food for thought.

Big Hmmmmm.

Give Netzach a Big Hmmmm -- Now I"m impressed with myself!

 

[Mr Blonde]

By my estimates, only 15% of this forum is made up of people who have or want to have 24/7 relationships. I don't think it is the "norm" for people who post/visit here on a semi-regular basis. Some of the most prolific posters are 24/7 so at times it can look more common.

As others have said, you should focus on what pleases you!

 

[Etoile]

And then there are those of us who would be 24/7 had circumstances not intervened.

 

[Lancecastor]

I find that most BDSM jargon sounds cheesy and serves only to isolate.

"Living the lifestyle 24/7"...think about that for a moment, about how little it says.

Everyone is living the lifestyle 24/7....but are they living The Lifestyle?

Who knows? Who cares? Last I checked, Them (the people who made the Rules) were too busy living the lifestyle to make a ruling on our individual lifestyles and grade us accordingly.

I've always lived my lifestyle 24/7 X 365. I'm a dominant personality, a competitor, a daddy, a teacher, a pal, a clown, a genius...a whole bunch of things.

One thing I'm most definitely not is a follower...so the very idea that people somewhere have the nerve to try and tell me how to live my life (usually so they can sell me something or pump themselves up) makes me want to knock them the fuck out.

Anyway...I think jargon is cheesy.

Do what you find fulfilling. Have fun.