Question: Narration shifts

[XXplorher]

I'm currently writing a story that I had original intended to cover several character points of view. Similar to 'Other Woman' - only in this case it would break from character to character within the same scene, at times (also, the premise of the story is different). The idea is to get inside unique character persepectives on sex; take you into each individually, yet get it full (basically get fucked by everyone in the room including yourself)

I want you to BE them - to feel them. By character shifting in narration, I may just confuse you and leave you alienated completely.

Trusting that I'd approach it as smartly and effectively as possible (limited by my ability) - is that just basically a bad idea? Would you rather hear it from one character, and assume the other persona's that suit you? Or force feed you their personal thoughts?

It's something I want to do, because I like to try unusual direction. But if it doesn't get the desired effect - what's the point, eh? (Plus, I just spilled out a smokin cock sucking sequence that was entirely from one persons POV. And I'm wondering if I'll ruin the flow by interjecting the other personas - so maybe I'm looking for a reason to bail on MYSELF here ; )

blah, blah.....

Does anyone feel they would embrace the idea of several narrations within the same story? Or better to stick with a singular POV?

Thanks ahead of time to any that take the time to respond.

 

[Shintani]

It might be a little confusing at first, but if you can make it work go for it. Besides, worst case is someone will have to read it 2 or 3 times, and that's not really that bad is it?

 

[Southernhelle]

ooooo, you're a member too. I don't think that type of story would work, but I'm always willing to eat my words. (just as long as they don't ruin the ideal physique right? ha.) The three part three way story worked well. I kept wondering during one what was going on with the other characters, and finding out without some weird narration switch was nice.

 

[Anothername_9]

I think that's a great idea. Narrative shifts are interesting, although tricky to accomplish sometimes without being initially misleading when a change in POV occurs. Also, it can certainly be a way to bring more chaotic energy to a story, and that's a good thing when you're writing about multiple sex scenes happening simultaneously, orlonger character developments which take place throughout a string of encounters.

Anyway, I'd say go for it. Some stories call for a steady grind of words, building in intensity, steeped in sexual tunnelvision; some tales benefit from well-used literary tricks. The straight-ahead story is the vanilla; let's see some 'fetish stylings' too. Alright?

Alright!

 

[XXplorher]

Yup, saw that. Dig that song by Skunk and Antsy from that flick as well.
As far as the making love to and feeling it from your partner as well………… that’s how it’s done correctly. I actually feel what she’s feeling, but I’m strange that way. If you can get inside your partners mentality – then you’ll know how to please them, know where to take it, how to, when to. And I don’t think it’s really difficult. Simply pay attention. You just have to care enough to do so. (An answer to questions I get often)

Got off subject, my bad.

Thanks for the responses so far. Seems it basically depends on whether I can pull it off correctly or not. Hmm…….. to suck or not to suck. That is the question………. ; )

 

[Guest]

I think that the idea of getting into the minds of all the people in a scene is wonderful and in the case of erotica a big turn-on. I don't know if you've seen the film Strange-Days with Eric Stolz but in that film there is a person whom through hightech technology is able to feel the sensation of raping somebody at the same time as experiencing the sensation of being raped by yourself (pretty weird huh!) I don't really like the idea of rape but do like the idea of feeling the physical sensations of being made love to and making love at the same time. (its making me agitated just thinking about it!)
Within a story though it may be quite hard to pull off. In my story, I dedicated the first chapter to one perspective and the second to another. The idea (haven't got round to it yet) is that the third chapter will combine the two.
Anyway, I'm babbling now - definetly give it a go - there's no harm in trying and you might well pull off something quite amazing.

Good Luck!!

 

[Mike Tauron]

Well, some readers could be confused, but I think it might be an interesting experiment (then again I've seen the film LAST YEAR AT MARIENBAD three times so I obviously have a high threshold for strangeness in my narratives).

I'd be interested to see it posted.

 

[MorningStar]

sounds like a plan to me. Just don't try to do it in the same paragraph...grin....or you will cornfuse me...course that doesn't take much some days. I'd like to see you get into the mind of either sex and try to get it across to us readers in a convincing manner.....there's a challenge in the air it seems. Looking forward to seeing it posted XX...smile

MS

 

[XXplorher]

Damnitt, star woman! A challenge! Fuck, I almost squeeked out of there.....

I can do it right (easy on the tomatoes). But it may be better w/out the extra narratives................. damn!
Thought I wouldn't test the ceiling? Push, push, push the envelope. (It's gonna be my best, I can feel it - just hate to fuck it up on account of my own desire to experiment). Who am i kidding? That never stopped me before.


Personal note: Did you enjoy the toe better? Or was it when Laurel went down under the bubbles that it really got good?
And Laurel baby? Watch that ass while you dive. If Deborah doesn't get there 1st..... I will.

And hey! Where the fuck is Manu?! This guy I want to meet!

 

[MorningStar]

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh geeeze....do I have to choose which is better....loved the toe but it's kinda short if you know what I mean...and damn it XX....wish you hadn't smacked L's butt at the time....almost got a bite taken out of me....giggle.

as for you trying to reach the ceiling...there's nothing wrong with that....just go outside and reach for the 'star' instead...and we'll see how good you really think you are....WEG (gawd I'm bad some days)

MS

 

[Hullo_nurse]

Well, just the toe or the whole foot? I could see that having an effect on things...like a BIG effect....mmmmm, feels so good!!

 

[sweetnpetite]

bump

 

[brightlyiburn]

Okay, either she's trying to play a sort of message board charades, or she's bumping up threads she thinks should be archieved.