Question - is this over the top?

[jeninflorida]

I have this character, Shannon, that had a normal life until she entered the work force and became a work-o-holic. After a couple of years she’s taking a hard look at her life and wondering if there is something else out there? Her friends are getting married, and more interesting to Shannon having wild passionate sex. Shannon hasn’t enjoyed a man in her bed for over two years…

After having a Lunch date with a gf, who is just like Samantha from ‘Sex and the City’ gets Shannon thinking…what she is missing….and she starts to notice things…she feels that everyone is having wild hot sex except for her.

While out on a blind date at a fancy restaurant, she goes into the restroom and discovers something…..the question is who should be doing it? two women? Two men? guy and a girl? Should she watch?

From my point of view, I want her to watch and ignite her sexuality. To awaken something in her that opens her mind to ....

thoughts? any ideas?

 

[Handley_Page]

Sounds a reasonable plot bunny.

 

[TxRad]

Since it is the women's restroom, I'd rule out two men but ya never know.

Otherwise i don't see the problem. Let her watch and then go from there.

 

[LettersFromTatyana]

I've encountered mf sex in a bathroom before, but it was in a club where it was, if not openly encouraged, then certainly winked at--each bathroom stall had a basket of condoms in it, the bathrooms were co-ed, and the club employee in the bathroom didn't do anything to stop the party.

One could only kind of watch--the bathroom stalls were all floor-to-ceiling frosted glass.

I suppose for some people this is a turn-on. But it was a club, and a lot of people were drunk, so the sounds of sex mingled with idiotic drunken ramblings and puking and ear-splitting music, all in a place where random people peed.

Not sexy. Or maybe I was just too sober.

 

[mynameisben]

I have this character, Shannon, that had a normal life until she entered the work force and became a work-o-holic. After a couple of years she’s taking a hard look at her life and wondering if there is something else out there? Her friends are getting married, and more interesting to Shannon having wild passionate sex. Shannon hasn’t enjoyed a man in her bed for over two years…

After having a Lunch date with a gf, who is just like Samantha from ‘Sex and the City’ gets Shannon thinking…what she is missing….and she starts to notice things…she feels that everyone is having wild hot sex except for her.

While out on a blind date at a fancy restaurant, she goes into the restroom and discovers something…..the question is who should be doing it? two women? Two men? guy and a girl? Should she watch?

From my point of view, I want her to watch and ignite her sexuality. To awaken something in her that opens her mind to ....

thoughts? any ideas?

The key here is to search your own feelings and go with them. How do YOU see the scene playing out? Or, how do you want the scene to play out. Identify it within you, and then write that. Whichever gender coupling you choose and want should be fine, so long as one of the participants isn't her blind date. That would be over the top.

 

[TxRad]

The key here is to search your own feelings and go with them. How do YOU see the scene playing out? Or, how do you want the scene to play out. Identify it within you, and then write that. Whichever gender coupling you choose and want should be fine, so long as one of the participants isn't her blind date. That would be over the top.

How about if she was there too long and her blind date came looking for her?

Just leave the seeing eye dog out of it.

 

[mynameisben]

How about if she was there too long and her blind date came looking for her?

Just leave the seeing eye dog out of it.

You and your plot holes, Tx. If he was blind enough to need a seeing eye dog, then how could he go "looking" for her?

 

[TxRad]

You and your plot holes, Tx. If he was blind enough to need a seeing eye dog, then how could he go "looking" for her?

The dog part was a joke. didn't you see the .

Anyway, I like using the braille system myself.

 

[TE999]

Two women, switching off sucking each other's pussies, skirts up, standing on the commode lid, making appreciative noises, would make anyone's juices flow.

Just sayin'.

 

[sr71plt]

What form of sex is your protagonist going to move on to perform? That should flow from what she sees in the restroom, I think. Either the same brand of coupling or something that plausibly bridges her to a different form. For myself, I'd find the scene steamier if it just wasn't any sort of restroom and the sex act seen had to carry the full erotica load. A restroom such as "Letters" posts about would add arousal dimension. Something like a coed bathroom with the frosted glass, with just shadows of undulating bodies, and not being able to tell the sex of the pairing until they come out. (Of course, if someone fed that scenario to me, I then couldn't use it--because the story would no longer be of my creation.)

The natural progression here, as TE999 has noted, would be that it would be two women she saw and it made her realize that what was missing from her arousal was that it was women who turned her on, not men. She'd then return to a double date and maneuver to ditch the men and go off with the other woman in the double date.

 

[PhilosopherX]

I'd want her to be distracted during the date watching a couple at the next table inappropriately touch each other. When they get up and head to the restroom together, she follows out of curiosity. Maybe she just gets in the stall next to them and listens, having already seen them, she can visualize the rest. Maybe it leads to a lucky night for her blind date, maybe she dumps him and goes home with the waiter.

It would make a lot of sense to have it be two women and make the story about a lesbian awakening. But whatever you want her to do, you should have her witness.

Just some thoughts.

Hope it helps to inspire.