Question For Women

[SatyricalDad]

If your husband wanted to pleasure you sexually, but didn't necessarily want to pleasure himself at the time, how would you want him to do it?

 

[cherries_on_snow]

First to listen as I unwind for 10 or 20 minutes, then to take off my shoes and any other cause for discomfort. Loosen hair. I lie with my head in his lap as he strokes midnose to hairline. Takes my head in his hands and gently moves it until I trust enough to relax my neck and release the full weight of my head to his hands. I am flooded by relief. Then he strokes my hair, throat, shoulders, etc., etc., with the focus of one who enjoys unraveling me.

Mainly my advice would be to enjoy all the neglected inches of her body instead of driving mechanically toward the off-ramps.

 

[albertaboy]

First to listen as I unwind for 10 or 20 minutes, then to take off my shoes and any other cause for discomfort. Loosen hair. I lie with my head in his lap as he strokes midnose to hairline. Takes my head in his hands and gently moves it until I trust enough to relax my neck and release the full weight of my head to his hands. I am flooded by relief. Then he strokes my hair, throat, shoulders, etc., etc., with the focus of one who enjoys unraveling me.

Mainly my advice would be to enjoy all the neglected inches of her body instead of driving mechanically toward the off-ramps.

Good response.

Foreplay for us includes those things, I rub my wife's back softly combined with massaging her scalp and neck. I will admit as we do this I tend to get revved up.

 

[varv]

trite, but effective. Massage of the feet, and above.

 

[littlecordelera]

If your husband wanted to pleasure you sexually, but didn't necessarily want to pleasure himself at the time, how would you want him to do it?

I'd tell him to call a friend.

 

[Nezhul]

I personally don't see any point to be sexually pleasured if my partner doesn't get the same. I mean, if it's just a blowjob - I would rather just pass, honestly.
Have you ever thought that women might feel the same? That sex may not be fulfilling if the partner doesn't get any?
I'm talking about strictly vanilla situation BTW, because there are fetishes where one-sided servitude is the best thing ever.

I once did a poll about which people love most about sex, and "partner's pleasure" was the top pick for both men and women. If the partner gets none, then it kind of defeats the purpose.

 

[marne69]

If your husband wanted to pleasure you sexually, but didn't necessarily want to pleasure himself at the time, how would you want him to do it?

Of course! There r times when my husband would b in the mood, & because i was tired,needed a shower,didn't feel sexy,etc. I wouldve preferred to give him a bj (a good one-not half-assed). I always wanted him to b happy. I think it's fine

 

[lynn-23]

Sometimes when my husband knows i am stressed or just tired, he make me a hot bubble bath, gets me in the tub and brings me wine etc, just waits on me hand a foot. He will sit on the edge of the tub and just talk to me. I love that. It just shows me that he loves me. Now, other times he will often give me oral sex and not ask for anything in return. I have to say, that my husband LOVES to eat pussy and he says its "the greatest pleasure in the world." So while I agree with the above comments about one partner not really enjoying sex if they know the other isn't getting any, that doesn't really apply when my husband goes down on me. I know he is getting pleasure because he loves to eat me sooo much. And i will do the same for him, sometimes when I don't feel like having sex etc, I will just offer him a bj or handjob to give him some relief. I enjoy doing that for him. Its what lovers do.

 

[pplwatching]

Its what lovers do.

There are many things that my wife or I do for each other that on the surface appear to be one-sided, but our marriage thrives on acts of service to each other (and by association to our marriage itself).

Earlier in our marriage I would refuse anything one sided because I didn't want a servant, maid, sexual object to use. It also made me uncomfortable having things "done for me", although at the same time I've always enjoyed doing things for my wife. It took me a while to realize that we both enjoy doing what we can for each other, including sexually. I enjoy doing things for my wife and at the very least enjoy the feeling of intimacy that follows even in non-sexual situations. Likewise, just because one of us doesn't want sex at any given time that doesn't mean that we won't enjoy the intimacy of giving the other pleasure. I think that's the difference between 'using her for sex' and understanding that it's just a different aspect of our the sexual part of our marriage.

Sexually, I am like Lynn's husband in that there is something deeply primal, intimate, and satisfying about giving oral sex. It's pretty rare that it doesn't end up with both of us being aroused and moving on to more, but there have been times when I have enjoyed it as much as she did even though it didn't lead to anything more. Sexually, it is probably more difficult for a man to participate in certain sex acts without an erection, which can be problematic if what she's jonesing for involves a hard cock but there are always toys .

That said, my wife is more of a "rub lotion on my back" kind of gal when it comes to enjoying an intimate acts of service. She also enjoys having me take care of some of her personal grooming. It has a practical purpose but she also enjoys being touched and taken care of without the expectation of sex. She's a stay at home homemaker, but appreciates it when I take care of the dishes and laundry to make her day a little easier before I go off to slay dragons.

I guess I'll wrap this up by saying don't be afraid to either offer or accept acts of service to each other, and talk about what you can do for each other to make life more enjoyable both in and out of the bedroom.

 

[DaddyIrishman]

I agree wholeheartedly with Pplwatching, it’s very similar for my wife and I who is also a homemaker. We do the same kinds of things for each other including the personal grooming.

 

[Jada59]

No husband but... Probably a good fingering would do.