Question for the pros - Changing Tenses

[cutie pie]

I submitted my first story to Lit and it received some decent feedback. It is my intention to continue the story as the first part suggested that it would encompass an entire weekend. Anyway, Part One is written in the present tense. I didn't plan to write it that it way, that's just how it came out. I'm not entirely sure that's the appropriate way to continue telling the story.

My thought was to start the next part at the end of the story and write it as a "flashback".

Any suggestions on how to keep the story flowing without confusing the readers?

 

[KillerMuffin]

You should being with the present to keep the audience from getting confused. Flashbacks can be done in a few ways, the two I see a lot are to have a solid flashback done entirely in past tense, or to have bits and pieces melded with the flow of the story.

You'd have the same problem in past tense as you do in present tense, it's just less visible. Whatever is remembered is in the past of the current moment in the story. Instead of "He emailed every day with sexy notes." a past-past flashback would be "He had emailed ever day." See the difference? In you situation instead of "He emails me every day," it's "He emailed me every day."

If you take care to keep your character's present and their past clearly understandable, then you're not going to have a problem.

I would begin with a few lines of present tense then move to past to describe whatever you want in flashback. After that you can move into present again. However, this all depends on the structure of your storyline. You have to mold the flashback to fit the story line. If you can't find something completely natural to put in front of the flashback without basically saying something to the effect of, "I remember the first time we met," then just start with the flashback.

 

[Uther_Pendragon]

Well, I'm not really a pro.
But the general rule is to use the past tense unless
you have a *really* good reason to use some other tense.
:
The problem with the present tense is that you already have
a use for it. The present is what we use in English to
express things which are "always" true.
OTOH, if almost all of your story consists of the past of
a frame, then you might prefer to write the frame in the present.
e.g.: "As I watch Katherine undress, I remember our wedding
night, eight years ago. She was nervous ..."
Sometimes one way works much better than another; sometimes
it is a matter of taste.

 

[Weird Harold]

I'm currently re-reading TheSpellsong Cycle by L.E. Modesitt. He makes very good use of changes from past tense on the main plotline and present tense when he breaks away to cover action away from the main storyline.

As KM noted, it does tend to confuse the reader at first, until it sinks in that a change of tense indicates action away from the main charcter's POV.

In your case, framing a story as a flashback might work. It all depends on how you handle the transition from part one to part two of the story.

Uther_Pendragon said
But the general rule is to use the past tense unless
you have a *really* good reason to use some other tense.

Past tense is usually the easiest tense to use, but the rest of UP's advice applies equally to changing tense in a story -- if you start in present tense then stay with present tense unless you have a definite reason for changing.

 

[cutie pie]

Thank you for your responses - they were a great help! I think I've figured out how to set it up without making it too confusing.

 

[Uther_Pendragon]

I'm currently re-reading TheSpellsong Cycle by L.E. Modesitt. He makes very good use of changes from past tense on the main plotline and present tense when he breaks away to cover action away from the main storyline.







Past tense is usually the easiest tense to use, but the rest of UP's advice applies equally to changing tense in a story -- if you start in present tense then stay with present tense unless you have a definite reason for changing.

:
I'll go more strongly than that.
*Changing* tense, is usually a blunder unless it is required grammatically:
"I remembered how we had met,"
"'Tomorrow. I'll worry about that tomorrow,' she said."
:
You should be able to express *why* you use some other
tense but the simple past. You simply shouldn't use a
change of tense in telling a story taking place all at one time.

 

[cutie pie]

:
I'll go more strongly than that.
*Changing* tense, is usually a blunder unless it is required grammatically:
"I remembered how we had met,"
"'Tomorrow. I'll worry about that tomorrow,' she said."
:
You should be able to express *why* you use some other
tense but the simple past. You simply shouldn't use a
change of tense in telling a story taking place all at one time.

My thought was to start the next "installment" at the end of the story and then tell it as a flashback. I'm not sure I can effectively tell the entire story (ecompassing 2 days) in the present tense. Am I making it too complicated? In retrospect, I should have thought this through when I wrote the first part, but I never anticipated continuing on with the story.

Don't you just love us newbies?

 

[TheEarl]

Changing tense is usually never a good thing. One of my stories "One Cup of Coffee" (shameless plugging there) is written in the present tense, pretty much for the same reason yours is; it just kinda happened that way. But you've either got to stick with it, or go back through the original story and rewrite it in the past tense. Otherwise you'll tend to lose people.

Going off at a tangent here: Has anyone ever written a story in the future tense? I'm tempted to try just to see if it can be done.

The Earl

 

[Weird Harold]

Going off at a tangent here: Has anyone ever written a story in the future tense? I'm tempted to try just to see if it can be done.

It can be done, and I've considered trying it too. I haven't though, because I can't see any way that a future tense porn story would come off as anything but "arrogant."

The only possibility I can see, would be in a BDSM or non-consent story where the master villian expounds at length on what he's going to do to his sub/victim -- first person future tense. I can't see how anything in third person future tense could generate much eroticisim.

 

[superlittlegirl]

What a delicious idea-- a story in future tense. I think it could be done quite elegantly, without a trace of arrogance. I'm going to give it a try.

 

[Uther_Pendragon]

It can be done, and I've considered trying it too. I haven't though, because I can't see any way that a future tense porn story would come off as anything but "arrogant."

The only possibility I can see, would be in a BDSM or non-consent story where the master villian expounds at length on what he's going to do to his sub/victim -- first person future tense. I can't see how anything in third person future tense could generate much eroticisim.

:
I've done something close to that. Unfortunately, the
heroine is not quite 17; it would never do for Literotica.
The main frame of the story is in the simple past tense.
But most of the words (and all the sex beyond a little petting)
occurs in eight vignettes which he tells her and (in one
case) she tells him.
Those are alternatively in the future tense and the
future PERFECT tense (we will have...).
For each tense one of the vignettes is first person, one is
second person, one is third person limited, and one is
third person omniscient.
Well, it was FUN to write. Apparetly, it wasn't too
pedagogical a read, either.

 

[MysteryWriter]

i read something

it changed voices in the middle. It actually wasnt noticeable. Strange that I didnt notice it until I had finished it. She seemed to make a departure from one part of the story when she changed voices. it was very effective. She did an incident in third person then when she moved to another she switched to first person. It read just fine. I write in first person myself.

the third person she started in had the effect of explaining the actions she took in the first person narative later. It worked very well actually.