I would have to most definately be in love with her. I grew up in the typical single parent home where guys came and went at whim, never treating mother with love or respect, using her as a cum rag. from that partially is the reason why I have maintained my virginity, christianity only seconded that reason to keep my virginity.
I want to be in love with the woman I am with and I want her to be in love with me.
Getting back to an old adage, 'men think with their penis'; well some actually do think with it and will move in for more frequent sex. Some will do it for money or security as a gigolo. Some will do it just not to be alone. There are some who do it out of love and respect but unfortunately I think they are in the minority compared to the other reasons. They are out there though hard to find.
You are not a moron and you are also not the only woman to have been in that situation. I know of two who went through that hell.
Ok well the BF came accross a poem I wrote the other night. Pretty depressing shit basically. And tho it didn't say so on the poem it was about him and the way things are going with the relationship, and he knew it was about him. So he basically told me that it was because I told him that I loved him, and that he was scared to fall in love with me. I felt like shit. We've been living together since October... I'd assumed that he wouldn't have taken this step if he didn't feel the same. I just feel like shit.
And the thing is I know he isn't using me for sex. He said he is scared because his last girlfriend left him because she forced him to have sex with her all the time and he didn't feel comfortable with that. Whatever I feel stupid.