Question for Dominants - Is this a thing?

[Liteseeker90]

Hello all!

I'm feeling a little nervous writing this. Not sure why! (I think because I'm abotu to get really vulnerable here and I'm afraid you'll be like "you're stupid LOL). I guess because I've finally taken the leap into the possibility of BDSM play (mostly the D/s part). And I'm VERY brand new to it. Really in the researching/learning stage still.

Anyway, I still have a lot to explore (for sure!), but from what I've gathered so far...I'm a submissive (if only on a lower-key/more-vanilla-type part of the spectrum LOL) that is really turned on by the idea of the Dom persona of like...Ryan from the movie Bound (the archetype, I guess you'd call it?) or um, a more seduce/coercing nurture-y-in-charge type? Hopefully that makes sense? I don't know what label that would fall under?

Specifically, I am extremely turned on by phrases/words like: "easy", "take it easy", "relax", "good girl", that kinda thing. I also have (and have since i was a kid...Weird, I know) had a sort of "kidnap/non-consent scene" fantasy.

And I also know that I don't like derogatory terms or calling my dom "sir" or "master"...But I'd be willing to call them something else and be called something else that we could decide on? That's a thing, right?


BASICALLY, guys, I'm just,I guess, partly throwing this out there in the eyes of you BDSM folks as a "toe in the water" sort of thing, just putting these parts of myself out there. And just finding out if there are Dom types out there that might be open to a sub type like me? If this is something that could exist, potentially.

Thanks, guys, for reading and providing gentle feedback lol

 

[Sundaras]

Absolutely a thing, not all D/S dynamics revolve around or require any kind of derogatory terms and what those terms imply.

Sounds like you like the idea of a dominant controlling you somewhat, knowing how to turn you on and get you to do what he wants. Controlling but not forceful - I'm not sure what the name for it is but I've played my part in this sort of thing before.

 

[Beachaged]

Hello all!

I'm feeling a little nervous writing this. Not sure why! (I think because I'm abotu to get really vulnerable here and I'm afraid you'll be like "you're stupid LOL). I guess because I've finally taken the leap into the possibility of BDSM play (mostly the D/s part). And I'm VERY brand new to it. Really in the researching/learning stage still.

Anyway, I still have a lot to explore (for sure!), but from what I've gathered so far...I'm a submissive (if only on a lower-key/more-vanilla-type part of the spectrum LOL) that is really turned on by the idea of the Dom persona of like...Ryan from the movie Bound (the archetype, I guess you'd call it?) or um, a more seduce/coercing nurture-y-in-charge type? Hopefully that makes sense? I don't know what label that would fall under?

Specifically, I am extremely turned on by phrases/words like: "easy", "take it easy", "relax", "good girl", that kinda thing. I also have (and have since i was a kid...Weird, I know) had a sort of "kidnap/non-consent scene" fantasy.

And I also know that I don't like derogatory terms or calling my dom "sir" or "master"...But I'd be willing to call them something else and be called something else that we could decide on? That's a thing, right?


BASICALLY, guys, I'm just,I guess, partly throwing this out there in the eyes of you BDSM folks as a "toe in the water" sort of thing, just putting these parts of myself out there. And just finding out if there are Dom types out there that might be open to a sub type like me? If this is something that could exist, potentially.

Thanks, guys, for reading and providing gentle feedback lol

What you seek isn’t unreasonable. The best D/s relationships are when both people are in sync about what they want/need. Some people like dirty talk and some don’t. I would encourage you to find someone you can build a rapport with and take it slow. The two of you can discover what you like and what you don’t.