Question for bisexuals

[sexy-girl]

could you give up on the opposite sex forever?

 

[Regis2001]

To this, I reply with another question: Why would I want to?

Please understand, I'm not just taking the piss. The circumstances under which this self-denial would take place would be very important.

 

[John Doe]

Could you give up on the same sex forever?

There's your asnwer.

What's the point of this question though? Checking the feasability of converting bis to gaydom?

 

[alltherage]

For love and passion anything is possible.

 

[Never]

Stuponfucious,
Taking a wild guess, the answer would interest me as a lesbian if I were wondering if having a long-term, monogamous relationship with a bisexual were possible.

According to your response, no, it's not possible.

 

[sexy-girl]

i've no idea specifically why you would ... what circumstance would bring a bisexual to decide that would different for every bisexual

i was just curious how many bisexuals would perhaps if they were in a same sex relationship


it's not a loaded question really that's why i didn't put any details into the poll

 

[sexy-girl]

Could you give up on the same sex forever?

There's your asnwer.

What's the point of this question though? Checking the feasability of converting bis to gaydom?

i think a bisexual is still a bisexual if she/he is in a same sex relationship

 

[John Doe]

Stuponfucious,
Taking a wild guess, the answer would interest me as a lesbian if I were wondering if having a long-term, monogamous relationship with a bisexual were possible.

According to your response, no, it's not possible.

Bisexuals aren't sluts that will fuck anything that comes along. Most of us are mongamous. Fidelity for most of us isn't so different for anyone else. It's just that the people we aren't having sex with are of two genders.

 

[John Doe]

i've no idea specifically why you would ... what circumstance would bring a bisexual to decide that would different for every bisexual

i was just curious how many bisexuals would perhaps if they were in a same sex relationship


it's not a loaded question really that's why i didn't put any details into the poll

Again, how is that different from heteros or gays? If you've decided to be mongamous, that's it. Doesn't matter what other desires we might have outside our SO, unless you're both willing to make arrangements, but that's unusual.

And hell yeah it's a loaded question, but that's usually the best kind.

"The best questions lead not to answers, but to more questions." --Albert Einstein

i think a bisexual is still a bisexual if she/he is in a same sex relationship

Than you already know the asnwer to your question.
But I think what you're really getting at is a different question. I think you wonder if bisexuals can be monogamous and the asnwer is yes.

 

[sexy-girl]

Bisexuals aren't sluts that will fuck anything that comes along. Most of us are mongamous. Fidelity for most of us isn't so different for anyone else. It's just that the people we aren't having sex with are of two genders.

ok so i admit it was a bit of a loaded question


but you answered differently before you realized the poll was about relationships

i do agree with you though i do think bisexuals can be mongamous


but can you understand why homosexuals sometimes have issues about entering a relationship with a bisexual when the bisexuals first reaction to this question is to say no they couldn't give up sex with the opposite sex forever

 

[John Doe]

ok so i admit it was a bit of a loaded question


but you answered differently before you realized the poll was about relationships

How so? I thought I've been asnwering fairly conistently.

i do agree with you though i do think bisexuals can be mongamous


but can you understand why homosexuals sometimes have issues about entering a relationship with a bisexual when the bisexuals first reaction to this question is to say no they couldn't give up sex with the opposite sex forever

That depends on what you mean by "understand." Emotionally,Do I grasp the impulses and concernes behind it, can I see why someone might be in a situaton to feel that way? Yes, at least to some extent. Do I agree with it or feel the concerns are valid? No. All insecurities are illogical and therefore must be purged.

I think it's just an outgrowth of general jealousy (which as I understand it in most cases is just fear of losing the one you love to someone else), coupled with the difficulty homosexuals have in understanding how someone can not only be attracted to the opposite gender AND the same gender.

But monogamy isn't about giving up sex with this gender or that forever, it's about devoting yourself physically and romantically to one person, forsaking (here comes the key word) all others.

 

[sexy-girl]

How so? I thought I've been asnwering fairly conistently.

Could you give up on the same sex forever?

There's your asnwer.

What's the point of this question though? Checking the feasability of converting bis to gaydom?

i thought that was you saying no ... and i saw someone had said no on the poll i just assumed that was you sorry



i think with some of my posts on here i'm in danger of coming across as biphobic (have i just made up a new word ) ... that's not my intention ... i find bisexuals fascinating because before i came to literotica i knew so little about them ... sometimes maybe i ask pointy questions because its the easiest way to find out what i want to know

 

[John Doe]

i thought that was you saying no ... and i saw someone had said no on the poll i just assumed that was you sorry

The point of that was to get you to asnwer your own question. The Socratic method in a way. If you cannnot "give up" the same gender forever, then the asnwer is no. My point was partly that bisexuals aren't so different in that respect.

But it also begs the question what you really mean by "giving up" the opposite gender. Can we ignore ior deny our desire for and attraction to the opposite gender? No, of course not. trying to would be as difficult as you giving up women and asking that of a bisexual would be just as unreasonable.

But can we devote ourseles to one person? Yes. In the case where we love someone that much and want to do that, gender is a secondary issue, especially the gender of possible temptations.

However, i speak of what you might call fully developed bisexuals. Those who have explored thier desires sufficiently to decide they're bisexual. I do not speak of those who become curious while already in a hetero relationship.

i think with some of my posts on here i'm in danger of coming across as biphobic (have i just made up a new word ) ... that's not my intention ... i find bisexuals fascinating because before i came to literotica i knew so little about them ... sometimes maybe i ask pointy questions because its the easiest way to find out what i want to know

I don't really see you as prejudiced or fearful of bisexuals, or even coming across that way, but maybe that's just me.

Never does though.

 

[sexy-girl]

The point of that was to get you to asnwer your own question. The Socratic method in a way. If you cannnot "give up" the same gender forever, then the asnwer is no. My point was partly that bisexuals aren't so different in that respect.

well for a homosexual to give up sex with the same gender they would be becoming celibate ... so i don't agree it's the same

i phrased the question better in the poll though ... i realize that giving up a gender and giving up sex with a gender are different things and i didn't mean to phrase it differently twice

I don't really see you as prejudiced or fearful of bisexuals, or even coming across that way, but maybe that's just me.

Never does though.

i would enter a relationship with a bisexual ... the only reason why i question what it would be like for me is because i'm just being honest having never been in a relationship with a bisexual i don't know completely what it would be like

 

[ifun26]

I could not give up the opposite sex forever. There is something lovely about the ladies I could never give up and I would not want to.

 

[John Doe]

well for a homosexual to give up sex with the same gender they would be becoming celibate ... so i don't agree it's the same

i phrased the question better in the poll though ... i realize that giving up a gender and giving up sex with a gender are different things and i didn't mean to phrase it differently twice

Sorry, I misspoke. I meant giving up sex with everyone else of the same gender. I would've thought that would be obvious though. Celibacy didn't come up until now and doesn't really apply.

 

[John Doe]

i thought that was you saying no ... and i saw someone had said no on the poll i just assumed that was you sorry

Oh, for the record I haven't voted on the poll.

With a lot of issues I like to discuss them first, even if I already have an opinion and am set in it, just on the off chance that somebody will change my mind.

 

[Never]

Stuponfucious:
"Bisexuals aren't sluts that will fuck anything that comes along."

Hey, hey, hey.. Let's back up for a moment. I never said that. I never implied that. I never thought that. Neither I nor sexy-girl are trying to attack the bisexuals of the board nor thumbing our nose at them.

"Most of us are mongamous. Fidelity for most of us isn't so different for anyone else. It's just that the people we aren't having sex with are of two genders."

Stu, if you were in a monogamous, long-term relationship with another man that would mean no pussy. Possibly for the rest of your life. All sexy-girl was asking is if that's something you could be comfortable and happy with.

You answered that it would be the same as her having to go without a girl for the rest of her life. Now, to me and her, that would be an emphatic 'no'. It would be a miserable situation. (Correct me if I'm wrong here sexy-girl)

In my opinion, bisexuals don't need to have access to both genders to be happy. It's just that long-term monogamy is difficult on anyone and both men and women could be temptations. But, I'm not bisexual so it's not my place to say that.

 

[Never]

Stuponfucious:

"I don't really see you as prejudiced or fearful of bisexuals, or even coming across that way, but maybe that's just me.

Never does though."

I what? Think that sexy-girl is fearful of bisexuals? It's true though. Yesterday she told me all bi's were EVIL and should be kicked in the shins.

 

[John Doe]

Hey, hey, hey.. Let's back up for a moment. I never said that. I never implied that. I never thought that. Neither I nor sexy-girl are trying to attack the bisexuals of the board nor thumbing our nose at them.

I know you didn't. So what?

Stu, if you were in a monogamous, long-term relationship with another man that would mean no pussy. Possibly for the rest of your life. All sexy-girl was asking is if that's something you could be comfortable and happy with.

Well obviously if I had decided to do that then yes I'd be comfortable or happy with it otherwise I wouldn't do it. Humans don't do anything unless they want to for some reason, even if it's for a salary or if they're being coerced.

But that's not something I'd decide to do. I don't think I would romantically love another man, but that's just me.

You answered that it would be the same as her having to go without a girl for the rest of her life. Now, to me and her, that would be an emphatic 'no'. It would be a miserable situation. (Correct me if I'm wrong here sexy-girl)

I already clarfied this. it would be the same as her going with any OTHER girls. My point being that fidelity is fidelity, the gender of temptations being a secondary concern of the dangers to monogamy.

In my opinion, bisexuals don't need to have access to both genders to be happy. It's just that long-term monogamy is difficult on anyone and both men and women could be temptations. But, I'm not bisexual so it's not my place to say that.

That's exactly my point, thank you.

Humans are not built for the most part to be monogamous. that's a concept imposed on humanity by itself.

 

[John Doe]

I what? Think that sexy-girl is fearful of bisexuals? It's true though. Yesterday she told me all bi's were EVIL and should be kicked in the shins.

No, you come across that way. I know you're not, but you just come across as such.

 

[sexy-girl]

Well obviously if I had decided to do that then yes I'd be comfortable or happy with it otherwise I wouldn't do it. Humans don't do anything unless they want to for some reason, even if it's for a salary or if they're being coerced.

i guess one reason i was asking this question the way i did was because i wonder when a bisexual person would say to themselves wow i'm entering into a monogamous relationship with a same sex person and thus i might never sleep with someone of the opposite sex again


when i realized i was gay it did enter my head that i would never have a boyfriend or a traditional relationship and marriage


i just wonder i guess if that is something that doesn't enter a bisexuals person mind so much until they are deep into a serious same sex relationship or if its something they accept as they are accepting their bisexuality

 

[sexy-girl]

No, you come across that way. I know you're not, but you just come across as such.

no way ... i could understand you saying i come across that way but not never

if anything she comes across as having a preference to bisexuals over lesbians

 

[John Doe]

i guess one reason i was asking this question the way i did was because i wonder when a bisexual person would say to themselves wow i'm entering into a monogamous relationship with a same sex person and thus i might never sleep with someone of the opposite sex again


when i realized i was gay it did enter my head that i would never have a boyfriend or a traditional relationship and marriage


i just wonder i guess if that is something that doesn't enter a bisexuals person mind so much until they are deep into a serious same sex relationship or if its something they accept as they are accepting their bisexuality

I imagine they reconcile the two not long after they realize they're bisexual, but still monogamous.

 

[John Doe]

no way ... i could understand you saying i come across that way but not never

if anything she comes across as having a preference to bisexuals over lesbians

then we disagree. I can't see how you might come across that way. You've been understanding (or at least trying to understand) and tolerant whereas Never has been rather negitavely judgemental IMO.