Question about top and bottom

[Manicmi2018]

I see so many posts about guys being a top or bottom or verse. My question is why is it always one or the other. If I’m in a relationship with a guy, which I’ve never been in, I’m assuming we both are tops and bottoms. So no? I’m new to this so forgive me for sounding stupid

 

[drunkedray]

I see so many posts about guys being a top or bottom or verse. My question is why is it always one or the other. If I’m in a relationship with a guy, which I’ve never been in, I’m assuming we both are tops and bottoms. So no? I’m new to this so forgive me for sounding stupid

I am a bisexual married male. I consider myself a bottom because I enjoy a man to fuck me and I am a submissive that enjoys pleasuring my partner and I have no desire to be the top. I'm not knocking anyone that is versatile I'm just expressing my feelings.

 

[SissySalina]

I see so many posts about guys being a top or bottom or verse. My question is why is it always one or the other. If I’m in a relationship with a guy, which I’ve never been in, I’m assuming we both are tops and bottoms. So no? I’m new to this so forgive me for sounding stupid

As a sissy that is in chastity the assumption is a bottom all the time but there are times when sissy is on top but receiving not giving.
Normally if sissy is on top it is using tong which in this respect does not count.

Maybe you should refine the question?

 

[wizzard426]

I wouldn't worry about it too much.....get a double dong and call it thunder dome night. The first one that "squeals" has to spin and perform an act from a sexual roulette wheel

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

I'm off topic, but I wanted to comment on wizzard426's sexual roulette wheel. Years ago a VHS porno worked great for this, just randomly fast forward or reverse then hit play, and whatever popped up you mimick. The same can be done with DVDs. And if you have a big collection of porn clips on your computer, close your eyes and click. Make the rule that no matter what comes up you have to do. It's a lot of fun!

 

[drunkedray]

mmmmmmmmmm

That sounds fun Jack.

 

[wizzard426]

Let's just say I was on a private cruise aboard a large yacht. There was a different type of casino night involved. All of your regular gambling games had some kind of sexual connotation attached to it. It was daring and dangerous at a time when bisexuality and open ended possibilities weren't accepted like today.

There is the big wheel. One selection is "cum on your choice of titties" and the risk is "suck the dick to your left". Hey, that's why they call it gambling!

I used to have a homemade "sex monopoly" game that we built in college. Lots of possibilities there.

You can do that with any game.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

Nice! I would love to get in on that game.

And I have to guess in this age, when it comes to a sex roulette wheel, "there's an app for that"!

 

[Sunnyade]

I'm off topic, but I wanted to comment on wizzard426's sexual roulette wheel. Years ago a VHS porno worked great for this, just randomly fast forward or reverse then hit play, and whatever popped up you mimick. The same can be done with DVDs. And if you have a big collection of porn clips on your computer, close your eyes and click. Make the rule that no matter what comes up you have to do. It's a lot of fun!

I've done it with the porn clips, media player selects a clip at random. Any debate about who does what to whom, rock paper scissors decides.

 

[Hitchiker69]

As I understand it, it's simple. If you consistently take his dick up your ass you're a bottom and he's a top. If your dick is consistently going in his ass, you're a top and he's a bottom.

If you are versatile you'll do either top or bottom as you choose.

Simple, right?

What do you two do in bed?

I'm versatile, not in a relationship. I'll go either way depending on the guy, the mood, circumstances...whatever.

It seems to me that a lot of gay relationships involve one partner usually being top and the other usually being the bottom.

 

[interwebs]

As I understand it, it's simple. If you consistently take his dick up your ass you're a bottom and he's a top. If your dick is consistently going in his ass, you're a top and he's a bottom.

If you are versatile you'll do either top or bottom as you choose.

Simple, right?

What do you two do in bed?

Yeah i think he is overthinking it

 

[yukonnights]

I see so many posts about guys being a top or bottom or verse. My question is why is it always one or the other. If I’m in a relationship with a guy, which I’ve never been in, I’m assuming we both are tops and bottoms. So no? I’m new to this so forgive me for sounding stupid

As you mentioned; you're new to this. And no sincere question is ever stupid

My first thought is that you will find that you are on a very interesting journey of self-discovery. I've been "not straight" my entire adult life and I'm still discovering things about myself...maybe more accurately; things are gelling and I understand myself more all the time.

The top/bottom question finds it's answer inside your head. It's not much related to the physical aspect of sex. Try to take note of the things that tend to really fire your buttons...what type of fantasy is it that has become your "go to" dream of the best sex ever? In time, I think you'll see a pattern evolve. From what you've said above, it sounds like at this stage you are "versatile". I am too. But in time you may notice a stronger arousal to the idea of you on the "bottom"...or conversely, you mostly on the "top". And you may remain versatile with only a slight preference for one or the other...and to make it even more confusing, this preference may shift back and forth!

Anyway, I don't think you are overthinking... or can overthink, when it comes to discovering the real you.

 

[bicurious19]

I’ve always and only ever been or desired to be a bottom.
My fetishes lie only with tranny’s. I don’t like or am attracted to the physical form of a ‘man’. Bi sex with a tranny and having straight sex with women i do for different reasons. With a TS it’s all about me.
In my opinion, taking a fat 8” cock balls deep is a lot more intense than doing the penetrating. That intensity of pleausre of a big cock that barely fits, pushed deep in my ass, cannot be reproduced another way.

 

[FL30]

To make it simple

A top does the fucking or is the fucker.

a bottom takes the fucking or is the fuckee

You usually know which you are as to what you like.

I have several gay friends that are nothing but bottoms and then I have several that all they want to do is suck cock, they don't like anal, at all.

It just depends on what you like.

 

[load69]

Let's just say I was on a private cruise aboard a large yacht. There was a different type of casino night involved. All of your regular gambling games had some kind of sexual connotation attached to it. It was daring and dangerous at a time when bisexuality and open ended possibilities weren't accepted like today.

There is the big wheel. One selection is "cum on your choice of titties" and the risk is "suck the dick to your left". Hey, that's why they call it gambling!

I used to have a homemade "sex monopoly" game that we built in college. Lots of possibilities there.

You can do that with any game.

That would be really fun to play!!!

 

[Sunnyade]

I'm off topic, but I wanted to comment on wizzard426's sexual roulette wheel. Years ago a VHS porno worked great for this, just randomly fast forward or reverse then hit play, and whatever popped up you mimick. The same can be done with DVDs. And if you have a big collection of porn clips on your computer, close your eyes and click. Make the rule that no matter what comes up you have to do. It's a lot of fun!

Yes random selection in porn folder then a few presses of the skip button and you do whatever is happening in the clip.

 

[Astroman72]

I see so many posts about guys being a top or bottom or verse. My question is why is it always one or the other. If I’m in a relationship with a guy, which I’ve never been in, I’m assuming we both are tops and bottoms. So no? I’m new to this so forgive me for sounding stupid

I've never been in a relationship with a guy either, so I'm speaking mostly from theory and from what I've read.

As others have said, I think it's more a matter of leaning one way or the other, rather than being 100% top or bottom. I don't believe there are too many gay or bi guys who would say "I would NEVER suck a guy's cock or let myself be fucked," and I don't think there are too many who would say "I would NEVER fuck a guy's ass, or let a guy suck my cock."

I'm sure there are some who are 100% one or the other, but I would think it's not quite as common as being at least slightly versatile. Like anything with sexual inclination, I think it's probably a spectrum.

At least if I ever hook up with a guy, I HOPE he's not 100% one way, because I've quite a range of things I want to try.

 

[toolman1266]

question has answered

I am a bottom, loving the feeling of a big cock in my ass... and of course love giving oral. Hooked up with a married couple, loved being their submissive "love toy"

 

[pussycatmeowth]

I love being fucked, by a guy or a woman with a strap on. I also like to fuck women especially in the ass. So I'm top with the ladies and bottom with the guys.

 

[Seafoamzone]

some guys are strictly tops and some are bottoms and many are verse to one degree or another and may even change over time. the trick is to find someone who is compatible with you.
I love to get fucked but many times there are just more bottoms than tops available, so just as I enjoy fucking a womans ass, I will also fuck a guy in his .
everyone is different.

 

[UnderMyKilt]

ASS Pounding
The Ache
The Afterglow
The Gift That Keeps On Giving!!

 

[bobb64]

I am a bottom I've never topped a man and have no desire to.

 

[none2_none2]

Male sexuality is so varied. There is nothing wrong with not being totally versitile as long as you are honest. I think over time people figure out what sex acts they like, what sex acts they can tolerate, and which acts they really don't like. As long as they are honest with their partners, there is nothing wrong with being anywhere from 0 to 100 on the top/bottom versatility scale.

I'm physically out of the picture because of my ED. It is probably due to health issues. I can get hard at times, but it doesn't stay hard. The last time I took a blue pill, it was the beginning of my tinnitus (ringing of the ear). I only have one good ear, so the thought of going deaf scares me from trying it again. I would hate to be a burden to my partner if I were deaf.

That being said, even though I don't get to fuck, it dominates my psyche to be inside a man who turns me on both physically and emotionally. Part of it is some desire to be inside a male womb -- my sanctuary. When I'm inside a guy, I feel loved, protected, trusted, and stimulated beyond what language can describe.

As I have honestly said in all my posts, I bottomed when I was young -- not because I wanted to be a bottom, but because I was naive enough to trust guys who would tell me you have to be hung to be a top because "large cocks glide, small cocks poke". I'm just average. Not once did I ever enjoy it. It wasn't excruciatingly painful, it just was uncomfortable, and not me at all. With my religious upbringing, I wondered if this was the curse of being a homosexual -- longing for same sex love, strong desire for the male body, yet unfulfilling, uncomfortable sex in reality.

Then about two years into my gay sex journey, a kind but plain looking man let me top. It was the most fantastic think I had ever experience. I finally realized how wonderful being inside a guy could be. Words don't do it justice. For a short time after that I was versatile thinking it was the politically correct thing to do. However, I still never enjoyed it at all. Then with the AIDS epidemic around, I realized that it was silly to do something I never enjoyed. The last time I was on bottom was 1985, and I don't miss it at all, and given my past I realized that I gave it a fair shake, and it just isn't my thing.

I was honest with everyone I have been with. I never wanted to be like the older guys who topped me in the early days who said I couldn't top because I wasn't hung. (One even said, he would switch, but had to go first as then I would learn how to fuck after he fucked me, then all of a sudden when he got off, he gave me crap that he didn't realize how I was too big for his ass.)

I think people also have to get away from the stereotypes about tops and bottoms. Being a top doesn't mean you are necessarily more masculine or that you are selfish towards the bottom's pleasure, or that you are necessarily hung like a horse. Being a bottom doesn't mean that you have to be effeminate, average or under-endowed, or that you are passive and lazy in bed just lying there and letting the top do all the work. Tops and bottoms are as varied as ever man is unique.

Some also say that their preferences or orientation towards certain acts change over time. Mine really has never change much. Hairy, muscular, mainly men who are kind hearted and bottom oriented are worth their weight in gold. I'm memorized by their asses, and the enjoyment they get by having something up inside them. When my partner would remind me that his ass is mine, and mine only, I wanted to melt as my body and cock would ache to be one with him.

When I see anal sex in porn, what turns me on is not the cock that is going into an ass, but the ass receiving it. I want to see the bottom's expression, I want to see his ass lips reaching out to receive whatever is being inserted. I want to see the ass hairs moving in and out. It doesn't have to be cock. I'm turned on if it is a toy, fingers, or even a nice rimming.

I may never fuck again, but I will always be a top. Not because I'm better than any other man, but because for me a man's beautiful ass is the ultimate thrill. I always hope that the guys I had the priveledge of topping got something out of it. I want to think they got as much out of it as I did. As for changing over time, really the only thing that changed, is that with my loving, wonderful partner of 16+ years, I got to where I didn't feel the need to jack him off while I was fucking him as he said he was enjoying just getting fucked and not being touched. So now I can get really turned on watching porn where the bottom man is simply enjoying being topped without even touching himself -- it is expecially hot if they are dripping pre-cum (like my partner does). For now I simply have to be content with fingering my partner when he is in the mood. It is still a turn on to feel his asshole grip my fingers. Perhaps one day, it will be my cock again. (He'll be 60 in 3 days, and he still rocks my world. I wouldn't trade him anything. I hope we have many years to come. The only thing that tops topping a bottom is also having that bottom's love and devotion too.)

In summary, bottom men rock, and are the closest thing to angles on earth. (As I used to say, every time a man gets fucked, and angel earns his wings!)

 

[Replicant2018]

I've never been in a relationship with a guy either, so I'm speaking mostly from theory and from what I've read.

As others have said, I think it's more a matter of leaning one way or the other, rather than being 100% top or bottom. I don't believe there are too many gay or bi guys who would say "I would NEVER suck a guy's cock or let myself be fucked," and I don't think there are too many who would say "I would NEVER fuck a guy's ass, or let a guy suck my cock."

I'm sure there are some who are 100% one or the other, but I would think it's not quite as common as being at least slightly versatile. Like anything with sexual inclination, I think it's probably a spectrum.

At least if I ever hook up with a guy, I HOPE he's not 100% one way, because I've quite a range of things I want to try.

Such as?

 

[bps]

In summary, bottom men rock, and are the closest thing to angels on earth. (As I used to say, every time a man gets fucked, and angel earns his wings!)

It’s probably fair to say bottom-oriented guys see tops that way too, and likely carry the same sort of wonder-tinged desire, appreciation, and gratitude — from their own unique perspective — about those who are able to help them take flight.