Question about libidos, the male in particular

[esselle]

Hey,
Sorry if I’m posting this in the wrong place but it seemed pretty general.
So my partner and I recently got married, I’m 27 (and female), he’s 40.
Our sex life is pretty good (maybe nightly), but I’m the one who initiates. I apparently have the higher libido as well, cause if I ask him in the morning if he feels like a BJ/sex he sometimes says no. Is this normal? I understand everyone is different (and I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining, just worried) and don’t need sex as much, but would you ever turn down a morning BJ?? Do cultural differences also have an impact in sex lives??

I’m just curious more than anything, so if anyone has any answers etc ...

 

[Conager]

Libidos vary widely from person to person. Male libidos tend to he consistent (absent depression or medical concerns) from day to day. Female libidos tend to wax and wane (slightly) with hormonal changes. During ovulation and right before menstruation tend to be higher.

The stereotype is that males are always up for it. Biologically, this needs to be mostly true since the male needs to be available for insemination when the female is ovulating and if you had to synch libidos pregnancy wouldn't happen and we'd go extinct.

In reality, males with lower libidos can be coaxed into performance as you seem to be doing so the biology works. Psychologically, women tend to take low libido as a judgement of their desirability to an even greater degree than males would- were the libido mis-match the other way.

I've often the said that mismatched libidos are God's cruelest jokes. The high libido partner tends to feel rejected.

If he's responsive to your advances and able to perform I would say that everything is fine both psychologically and medically.

 

[Jada59]

When I was your age, I was with a man in his 40's who could get hard again and again and stay hard for as long as two hours if he wanted to. We could fuck for days on end, but eventually he'd get worn out.

One thing that he taught me is that men don't want sex all the time as I had been lead to believe.

Right now I'm 61. My two BFs are in their early 40's. Both are pretty much one and done. Both have difficulties getting/staying hard at times. One cums very quickly.

I'e been with a few guys who liked sex in the morning but only when they had he day off and had no other plans.

Men are all different. Don't take it personally if he doesn't want sex in the morning. His reasons may have nothing to do with you. Or... He might be afraid if he cums then, he won't be able to cum later when he ha more time.

 

[oneblueye]

hey ...

When I was your age, I was with a man in his 40's who could get hard again and again and stay hard for as long as two hours if he wanted to. We could fuck for days on end, but eventually he'd get worn out.

One thing that he taught me is that men don't want sex all the time as I had been lead to believe.

Right now I'm 61. My two BFs are in their early 40's. Both are pretty much one and done. Both have difficulties getting/staying hard at times. One cums very quickly.

I'e been with a few guys who liked sex in the morning but only when they had he day off and had no other plans.

Men are all different. Don't take it personally if he doesn't want sex in the morning. His reasons may have nothing to do with you. Or... He might be afraid if he cums then, he won't be able to cum later when he ha more time.

while it may be true that some men don't want sex ALL THE TIME, what he does want is to feel that he is still desired by his partner as well as any strangers he might encounter thru his day.

 

[Tim2run]

He's just bored/tired of the same-oh, same-oh...



... and you might be oversexed.



He might have other things on his mind that have to do with the upcoming day and needs to get to it.

 

[islandman]

Hey,
Sorry if I’m posting this in the wrong place but it seemed pretty general.
So my partner and I recently got married, I’m 27 (and female), he’s 40.
Our sex life is pretty good (maybe nightly), but I’m the one who initiates. I apparently have the higher libido as well, cause if I ask him in the morning if he feels like a BJ/sex he sometimes says no. Is this normal? I understand everyone is different (and I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining, just worried) and don’t need sex as much, but would you ever turn down a morning BJ?? Do cultural differences also have an impact in sex lives??

I’m just curious more than anything, so if anyone has any answers etc ...

I'm curious as to your thoughts on how cultural difference can impact libido.

 

[Gregory7788]

Loss of libido is no fun. Usually, it’s short-term, but if it lasts longer, it can be a sign of other problems. Sex drive is certainly related to hormones. There may be hormonal treatments that can help. I'm going to try male enhancement products from the enhance club as I noticed that my libido is lower than I had a few months ago.

 

[Saint_Ann]

When you're ready to retire he'll be 78.

 

[HisArpy]

Male performance is keyed to a lot of things.

Stress, lack of sleep, keeping the same old boring routine, no spontaneity, and so on are all killers to a healthy libido for either partner but affect men more obviously than they do women.

Talking about it is your best way forward as well as trying to make life fun again for the both of you. Even if it means changing some of your future goals to accomplish it, having fun together is better than trying to keep on with whatever is wrong and suffering with the consequences whatever they may eventually be.