Question about describing your characters

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Oct 6, 2019
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Nothing posted yet but i am working on a story, I will post it once it's finished then sent to an editor then edited by me BUT

I've noticed when reading (Mostly I like to read in the LW and Novels sections) authors take a paragraph or two to describe the characters, since I like LW usually the description is by the author voice and he describes the soon to be discovered cheating wife as short with large breasts (or tall with pert breasts) and shaved or unshaved etc.

Then he goes on to describe himself usually I'm no Brad Pitt or I'm not fat but I've gotten softer in the middle etc.

To me this derails the actual movement of the story ahead. I've tried in my own unpublished work to describe my characters as the story progresses. So my main female character hidden assets come into focus during the sex scenes, she's short she doesn't have huge breasts, she has pubic hair but not a tremendous amount, what color is she. These descriptions come out in the actual action, or earlier when other people are around so you get a picture if someone hugs or someone looks up to meet the other persons eyes.

Same goes for the male, his penis size, color etc. I like this but I am wondering if because these people currently live in my brain and I KNOW what they look like do the readers need that paragraph of exposition, as if the people are being described as if they are Pokemon about to battle?

Curious as to what your tastes are, I find myself skimming over descriptor passages and moving on to sections that tell the story.
 
Curious as to what your tastes are, I find myself skimming over descriptor passages and moving on to sections that tell the story.

For me, you're on the right track, but some readers want an explicit description before they can "see" the character -- complete with bra size and cock length and circumference (as big around as a tuna can, man!).

That said, my most popular story is front-loaded with physical description (but not measurements). I usually avoid it, but in that case I had a reason for doing it. Write what you want, and what you think your story needs.
 
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I think you're right on the money, and if you've figured this out before publishing your first story you're ahead of the game here.

Most good authors will tell you to avoid the "data dump" at the beginning of the story. Don't make your lead paragraph:

Let me tell you about my hot wife. She's got platinum blond hair, she's five foot five, and she's 39-24-36 with Double Ds capped off with pencil-eraser nipples.


That's just bad writing.

I think there are two general good rules to follow:

1. Tell the reader whatever facts are relevant to the story. Leave the rest to the reader's imagination. I don't quite follow that rule myself, because I'm visual and constructing the visual aspect of the scene is part of the pleasure of it for me. But this is a good rough guideline.

2. Disclose descriptions when they become important or useful in the story, not all at once. Just the way you said you prefer.
 
Frankly, while I agree with NotWise, I have to agree with you, too. I think any mention of a double-D rack or a nine-inch willy is a clue for me to look for another story. A good writer can work such descriptions into the text. I will admit to using short descriptive paragraphs on occasion, but I try to keep them minimal and let the readers’ imagination fill in the details.
 
Frankly, while I agree with NotWise, I have to agree with you, too. I think any mention of a double-D rack or a nine-inch willy is a clue for me to look for another story. A good writer can work such descriptions into the text. I will admit to using short descriptive paragraphs on occasion, but I try to keep them minimal and let the readers’ imagination fill in the details.

Those descriptions could be a way of selecting your audience. If you want the readers who measure your characters with the size of their bra or their cock, then put that right up front. If you don't want those readers, then don't use the explicit description, or at least, don't put them at the beginning.

This could be a successful start for a story: "There was a name behind those D cups, but his nine-inch cock was so hard that he couldn't remember what it was." Really. A lot of people might read the next sentence.
 
"Blonde hair, blue eyes, five-foot-five, one-ten, 34- 28- 36, 34Ds..." I said.

"And what was your wife wearing?" The first cop who responded asked me.

"I don't know... Maybe yoga pants and an oversized knit top..."

"What color," asked the second.

"Black... No wait maroon... Maybe purple... I think... Look why are you asking me these questions, we need to find them."

"Yes, and the car, Sir," said the second cop.

"It's a fire engine red 2018 Ford Mustang GT convertible with a Charcoal Grey and Black two tone Spanish Leather interior, the console upgrade, Performance Package, a 460-horsepower, 5.0-liter V-8, a six-speed manual transmission, not the 10-speed automatic. Michelin Pilot Sport 4S summer tires mounted on 19-inch wheels, Brembo brakes and the MagneRide suspension and a Bose 6800-12 triple quadrophonic sound system--"
 
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This could be a successful start for a story: "There was a name behind those D cups, but his nine-inch cock was so hard that he couldn't remember what it was." Really. A lot of people might read the next sentence.

Hell, depending on what kind of mood I was in *I* might at least read the next sentence...

Though in general, I agree with the thoughts already expressed here. I find a story flows better if the description of the characters is sprinkled in as necessary. That sometimes makes it difficult to figure a way for a first person narrator to describe themselves, but personally, I'd rather have a more vague idea of what someone is supposed to look like, than wade through a disconnected list of features.

My first few stories have literally no descriptions of the characters at all, other than the anatomical details needed to indicate one is biologically female and the other is biologically male. Now, *I* know exactly what they both look like, since they'd lived in my brain for years.

As I've written more stories, I've added more detail (the characters in my April Fools story are probably the most specifically described of any of mine). I haven't seen any appreciable change in comments favoring more description over less.
 
To me this derails the actual movement of the story ahead. I've tried in my own unpublished work to describe my characters as the story progresses. So my main female character hidden assets come into focus during the sex scenes, she's short she doesn't have huge breasts, she has pubic hair but not a tremendous amount, what color is she. These descriptions come out in the actual action, or earlier when other people are around so you get a picture if someone hugs or someone looks up to meet the other persons eyes.

Same goes for the male, his penis size, color etc. I like this but I am wondering if because these people currently live in my brain and I KNOW what they look like do the readers need that paragraph of exposition, as if the people are being described as if they are Pokemon about to battle?
Yes, this is on the money.

In my latest chapter, which is the culmination of a several chapter tease, my leading lady undresses. I briefly describe her breasts, but don't describe her below the waist at all. I'm sure my readers envisage her fully, to their complete satisfaction. Less is more.
 
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Hell, depending on what kind of mood I was in *I* might at least read the next sentence...

"Mi nombre es Maria," she said, and her eyes flitted down his muscular torso -- barely disguised under his tailored dress shirt. "You must be Dick."
 
My general rule is to tell the reader what they need to know when they need to know it. And, sometimes, they just don't need to know. So I don't tell them. :)
 
"Blonde hair, blue eyes, five-foot-five, one-ten, 34- 28- 36, 34Ds..." I said.

"And what was your wife wearing?" The first cop who responded asked me.

"I don't know... Maybe yoga pants and an oversized knit top..."

"What color," asked the second.

"Black... No wait maroon... Maybe purple... I think... Look why are you asking me these questions, we need to find them."

"Yes, and the car, Sir," said the second cop.

"It's a fire engine red 2018 Ford Mustang GT convertible with a Charcoal Grey and Black two tone Spanish Leather interior, the console upgrade, Performance Package, a 460-horsepower, 5.0-liter V-8, a six-speed manual transmission, not the 10-speed automatic. Michelin Pilot Sport 4S summer tires mounted on 19-inch wheels, Brembo brakes and the MagneRide suspension and a Bose 6800-12 triple quadrophonic sound system--"

I'm sorry, but you are totally wrong!

Fire engine red wasn't an option in 2018. It was more likely Race Red as Ruby Red is deeper and metallic.

........

I'll see myself out...
 
I've gotten a lot of comments about people enjoy the fact that I don't give outright descriptions of characters. Because the reader gets to imagine it however they want.

Sometimes I'll put hair color descriptions if I think it's relevent, or skin color. For instance, I love tan lines, so naturally there'll be a description on that. Maybe a woman has red hair and it makes her stand out, and that becomes a topic of conversation. Maybe she's a tall woman, giving her a more domineering presence. Etc...

One thing I always describe as breasts. When I read erotica, I want to know what her breasts/nipples look like.

Aside from that, I find that personality through dialogue and a note of their occupation and how they're dressed gives the reader enough material to imagine it, rather than a big info dump.
 
One thing I always describe as breasts. When I read erotica, I want to know what her breasts/nipples look like.
This. My god, if I have a fetish, it's for erect nipples. All those small-breasted braless hippy girls in t-shirts or muslin tops from my youth. Fuuuccck!
 
a nine-inch willy

Ya' have a problem with the wee people do ya'? At this time of year and all?


http://www.houseofthemes.com/IconImages/StPat-AdventuresWeePeople.JPG


Aye, they get ya' for that, they will.


I'm sorry, but you are totally wrong!

Fire engine red wasn't an option in 2018. It was more likely Race Red as Ruby Red is deeper and metallic.

........

I'll see myself out...

Lemme guess, ya' got a cousin named Vinny? (OK, maybe you didn't see that movie.)




As I recall, I've used a mix of the above, some overt descriptions, some mixed in to the story content.
 
I don't like long descriptions of characters myself unless there is some reason for them.
 
"Blonde hair, blue eyes, five-foot-five, one-ten, 34- 28- 36, 34Ds..." I said.

"And what was your wife wearing?" The first cop who responded asked me.

"I don't know... Maybe yoga pants and an oversized knit top..."

"What color," asked the second.

"Black... No wait maroon... Maybe purple... I think... Look why are you asking me these questions, we need to find them."

"Yes, and the car, Sir," said the second cop.

"It's a fire engine red 2018 Ford Mustang GT convertible with a Charcoal Grey and Black two tone Spanish Leather interior, the console upgrade, Performance Package, a 460-horsepower, 5.0-liter V-8, a six-speed manual transmission, not the 10-speed automatic. Michelin Pilot Sport 4S summer tires mounted on 19-inch wheels, Brembo brakes and the MagneRide suspension and a Bose 6800-12 triple quadrophonic sound system--"

Quite so, but consider this:

She: "Hon? I've invited Sam and Trudy Harrison to dinner next week."

He: "The Harrisons? Do I know them?"

She: "Oh, yes. We met them at Sarah's graduation party two years ago. You remember Trudy - she was wearing that lemon yellow dress with white polka dots, matching heels and a gold necklace with a little bicycle and had a white Prada clutch purse with a tiny stain on one end. Right?"​

;)
 
Nothing posted yet but i am working on a story, I will post it once it's finished then sent to an editor then edited by me BUT

I've noticed when reading (Mostly I like to read in the LW and Novels sections) authors take a paragraph or two to describe the characters, since I like LW usually the description is by the author voice and he describes the soon to be discovered cheating wife as short with large breasts (or tall with pert breasts) and shaved or unshaved etc.

Then he goes on to describe himself usually I'm no Brad Pitt or I'm not fat but I've gotten softer in the middle etc.

To me this derails the actual movement of the story ahead. I've tried in my own unpublished work to describe my characters as the story progresses. So my main female character hidden assets come into focus during the sex scenes, she's short she doesn't have huge breasts, she has pubic hair but not a tremendous amount, what color is she. These descriptions come out in the actual action, or earlier when other people are around so you get a picture if someone hugs or someone looks up to meet the other persons eyes.

Same goes for the male, his penis size, color etc. I like this but I am wondering if because these people currently live in my brain and I KNOW what they look like do the readers need that paragraph of exposition, as if the people are being described as if they are Pokemon about to battle?

Curious as to what your tastes are, I find myself skimming over descriptor passages and moving on to sections that tell the story.

The descriptive paragraph is a typical trope in LW. Your idea is the better of the two. Just work in small information drops when needed. I do it that way and have had no negative comments over it. It makes for better writing in my humble opinion.
 
I don't usually give much physical description, but for my current story I've gone into a lot of detail about some of the clothes:

Her dress was ivory, a lightly textured brocade that complemented her skin... or at least, it started as ivory, at her shoulders and chest. But below that she’d cut slits in the brocade, and sewn in inserts of bright blood-red silk to fill the gaps.

The first ones were no longer than her thumb, no wider than a knife-blade’s thickness. But down her body they grew longer, wider, and somewhere around her waist the red slashes spilled out far enough to meet one another and merge. The crimson-streaked ivory dress became an ivory-patched crimson dress, one pattern evolving into another, until just above her knees the last of the white was lost. Below that, the crimson in turn gave way to a deep maroon creeping out from deep in the pleats of her skirt, and by the hem only the dark colour remained. Down her arms, she’d executed the same effect in miniature.

All in all, it looked like the fruit of a collaboration between M.C. Escher and Lady Macbeth.

That's more description than I've given to all the human bodies in that story put together. What people are born with generally doesn't interest me very much, but the parts of appearance that they choose are much more relevant to character. Anjali (the dressmaker and wearer) is clever and obsessive, and in this section she's gone out of her way to pick an aesthetic that her "friend" will appreciate.

Similarly, the way somebody cuts or dyes their hair might say a lot more than the colour they were born with.
 
Nothing posted yet but i am working on a story, I will post it once it's finished then sent to an editor then edited by me BUT

I've noticed when reading (Mostly I like to read in the LW and Novels sections) authors take a paragraph or two to describe the characters, since I like LW usually the description is by the author voice and he describes the soon to be discovered cheating wife as short with large breasts (or tall with pert breasts) and shaved or unshaved etc.
.
. do the readers need that paragraph of exposition, as if the people are being described as if they are Pokemon about to battle?

Curious as to what your tastes are, I find myself skimming over descriptor passages and moving on to sections that tell the story.

This subject pops up from time to time.
On the one hand there are the readers who summon up their own detail from whatever has been told.
On the other hand are the enthusiasts, bereft imagination (on a fiction site ?), who want the whole detail, often down to the sock size ( she was a 40DD, he had a ten inch dick etc.).
My personal belief is that a handful is enough.

It's down to you. Good Luck
 
Let me tell you about my hot wife. She's got platinum blond hair, she's five foot five, and she's 39-24-36 with Double Ds capped off with pencil-eraser nipples.

Let's be honest here: Most men (all present are of course exceptions ;)) do not know the difference between platinum blond, strawberry blond or dirty blond and they have absolutely no idea what size their wife's bra has.

I'm always impressed when the male lead looks at a woman approaching him fully dressed in winter clothes and he can immediately tell height, weight, breast size, and hair style.

"Blonde hair, blue eyes, five-foot-five, one-ten, 34- 28- 36, 34Ds..." I said.

"And what was your wife wearing?" The first cop who responded asked me.

"I don't know... Maybe yoga pants and an oversized knit top..."

"What color," asked the second.

"Black... No wait maroon... Maybe purple... I think... Look why are you asking me these questions, we need to find them."

"Yes, and the car, Sir," said the second cop.

"It's a fire engine red 2018 Ford Mustang GT convertible with a Charcoal Grey and Black two tone Spanish Leather interior, the console upgrade, Performance Package, a 460-horsepower, 5.0-liter V-8, a six-speed manual transmission, not the 10-speed automatic. Michelin Pilot Sport 4S summer tires mounted on 19-inch wheels, Brembo brakes and the MagneRide suspension and a Bose 6800-12 triple quadrophonic sound system--"

That's men. They remember every result, scorer, and line-up from their team for the last twenty-five years but have no idea what their wife served for dinner yesterday.
 
Let's be honest here: Most men (all present are of course exceptions ;)) do not know the difference between platinum blond, strawberry blond or dirty blond and they have absolutely no idea what size their wife's bra has.

That doesn't mean they don't talk in these terms (and visualize in arousal in these terms) without having a real idea what they actually measure out to. There are, in fact, folks who think 36D to mean "big" without being able to identify it--and they both write and read here. Some folks image in terms of measurement--construction workers come to mind as naturally doing this; they work with measurements and can be basic thinkers.

This continual "looking down noses" here at people who do respond in terms of measurements is elitism. It's also contrary to being an exploring writer, I think. When you insist on thinking this way, you cut yourself off from using characters in a story who image in terms of measurement. That even offers itself as plot and character interaction opportunity.

I can see someone who hasn't seen a discussion here before on that would start with the position that measurement writing is the death knell here (it isn't, or it would have gone away a long time ago. There are both writers and readers who get turned on by the measurement image--they don't have know what that precisely means. It's those who dwell on the actual measurements when condemning it who don't understand the imagery involved). What I find disappointing is to see seasoned writers coming back again and again in these discussions and condemning this line of technique (and arousal). They aren't thinking too much as writers and possibilities in writing--or of a category of reader that actually does exist.
 
"Blonde hair, blue eyes, five-foot-five, one-ten, 34- 28- 36, 34Ds..." I said.

"And what was your wife wearing?" The first cop who responded asked me.

"I don't know... Maybe yoga pants and an oversized knit top..."

"What color," asked the second.

"Black... No wait maroon... Maybe purple... I think... Look why are you asking me these questions, we need to find them."

"Yes, and the car, Sir," said the second cop.

"It's a fire engine red 2018 Ford Mustang GT convertible with a Charcoal Grey and Black two tone Spanish Leather interior, the console upgrade, Performance Package, a 460-horsepower, 5.0-liter V-8, a six-speed manual transmission, not the 10-speed automatic. Michelin Pilot Sport 4S summer tires mounted on 19-inch wheels, Brembo brakes and the MagneRide suspension and a Bose 6800-12 triple quadrophonic sound system--"

This is terrific.
 
That doesn't mean they don't talk in these terms (and visualize in arousal in these terms) without having a real idea what they actually measure out to. There are, in fact, folks who think 36D to mean "big" without being able to identify it--and they both write and read here. Some folks image in terms of measurement--construction workers come to mind as naturally doing this; they work with measurements and can be basic thinkers.

This continual "looking down noses" here at people who do respond in terms of measurements is elitism. It's also contrary to being an exploring writer, I think. When you insist on thinking this way, you cut yourself off from using characters in a story who image in terms of measurement. That even offers itself as plot and character interaction opportunity.

I can see someone who hasn't seen a discussion here before on that would start with the position that measurement writing is the death knell here (it isn't, or it would have gone away a long time ago. There are both writers and readers who get turned on by the measurement image--they don't have know what that precisely means. It's those who dwell on the actual measurements when condemning it who don't understand the imagery involved). What I find disappointing is to see seasoned writers coming back again and again in these discussions and condemning this line of technique (and arousal). They aren't thinking too much as writers and possibilities in writing--or of a category of reader that actually does exist.

And along comes someone who writes she's 160 cm tall and her tits are 90cm ??? Lost on me. I have to go to google and convert. I presume our inches are lost on them.

In LW the description paragraph occurs in the vast majority of the stories. Way overdone. Maybe I'm category sensitive about this.

You can pre-write most of them. Beautiful, Blond-red-brunette, greatest tits, best ass, wonderful personality, gorgeous legs, yada, yada, yada.

I'm not down on readers who treasure measurements. I just think it's poor writing to have to include a one or two paragraph description of the woman/man! My current story is 12k words and 2000 words in, there's a brief one line description from another man that totals 21 words. More than enough to establish she's a fox. And it was the first place in the storyline where it was appropriate to include anything like that. It was part of the story action.
 
And along comes someone who writes she's 160 cm tall and her tits are 90cm ??? Lost on me. I have to go to google and convert. I presume our inches are lost on them.

Which shows you're missing the point. These are visual people giving visual terms to a size. If you run to check what it measures out to, you've failed to get what this is--visual people who are affected in life by measurements, giving images in terms that have arousal (or not) meaning to them and to at least enough of their readers to continue writing in that vein despite those elitists who can't just let them alone--they've got to go on discussion boards and council these writers not to do that.

I'll bug out of story that goes into watersports, but I won't (and haven't) come here and told other writers not to write that or readers not to read it, if they choose.
 
That doesn't mean they don't talk in these terms (and visualize in arousal in these terms) without having a real idea what they actually measure out to. There are, in fact, folks who think 36D to mean "big" without being able to identify it--and they both write and read here. Some folks image in terms of measurement--construction workers come to mind as naturally doing this; they work with measurements and can be basic thinkers.

This continual "looking down noses" here at people who do respond in terms of measurements is elitism. It's also contrary to being an exploring writer, I think. When you insist on thinking this way, you cut yourself off from using characters in a story who image in terms of measurement. That even offers itself as plot and character interaction opportunity.

I can see someone who hasn't seen a discussion here before on that would start with the position that measurement writing is the death knell here (it isn't, or it would have gone away a long time ago. There are both writers and readers who get turned on by the measurement image--they don't have know what that precisely means. It's those who dwell on the actual measurements when condemning it who don't understand the imagery involved). What I find disappointing is to see seasoned writers coming back again and again in these discussions and condemning this line of technique (and arousal). They aren't thinking too much as writers and possibilities in writing--or of a category of reader that actually does exist.

That's a really serious and condescending reply to an extension of a joke :eek: I made fun of the stereotypical man who knows eight different colours [red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black, white) and nothing about their partner.

At no point did I say or imply that you (or anyone) could not do whatever you want with your stories or that someone's mean to get turned is better than somebody else's. Previous post from me in other threads actually state the exact opposite.

You actually come across very elitist yourself with your statement. You seem to look down your nose at those who disagree with you at least as much as those that you accuse.
 
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