Quality time

[Eilan]

I'm sure this has been done before in some capacity, though I can only recall a "showing love" thread from recent months (which IIRC was devoted more to romantic/loving gestures than actual "quality time"). If there's been a recent thread that I've somehow missed, y'all can link me to it, flog me with a wet noodle, and ban me from Lit!

When you and your SO spend "us" time together, what kinds of activities do you do? If you're not currently attached, what have you done in previous relationships?

Other than sex, of course, ya pervs!

My answer will eventually follow.

 

[silverwhisper]

talk.

when we were dating, my wife & i used to get together every tuesday & friday night. we'd go to a little restaurant, have some dinner, get a carafe of wine and talk until later than was wise. for most of the time that we were dating in fact, i refused to go see movies with her, b/c that interrupted the flow of communication. as i once said to her: besides, would i rather look at a movie for two hours or her?

now that we've been married, we like to go see movies, then get some wine or beer and talk about the movie: did we love it? hate it? like and hate it? why?

ed

 

[Ezzy]

Watching TV snuggled together, watching a "girly" movie together, me reading to her (a book of her choice) (these are some of the evening - night things.

Playing cards together or together online. Wordpuzzles, and jigsaws.

Daytime QT can be taking her shopping, or going for a meal, driving out to see somewhere we haven't seen before, or sometimes somewhere we have. Rockhounding and camping when we can get the kids taken care of for an overnight, getting into the mountians even for only 4 or 5 hours.

These are a few of the things we get to do as QT, probably not as often as either of us would like, but they do happen every once in a while.

 

[EJFan]

as i've mentioned in other contexts of other threads...

the two best relationships i was ever in had some fantastic quality time... just the togetherness was enough and the simplest things were the most enjoyable... anything from wandering through the woods to sitting on the couch to monotonous house-work type stuff was fun.

i guess what it boils down to is that quality time isn't something that's created by an activity... i think the particpants make the quality time, not the activity.

 

[Eilan]

i guess what it boils down to is that quality time isn't something that's created by an activity... i think the particpants make the quality time, not the activity.

Good point. Goes a long way toward explaining why my parents never had any QT.

My hubby and have four little girls, so ANY time that we have together sans kids is scarce and precious. Of course, sometimes we can't arrange for child care, but we CAN still make time for each other that doesn't necessarily involve kids.

Some of our favorite activities include:

Soaking in our big jacuzzi-style tub. Not only do we get nice and clean, but we also have some wonderful conversations in the process.

Going out for dinner and a drive without the kids. Rare but fun!

I've recently started learning to play golf; my hubby's been doing it for almost 30 years. We've been going to driving ranges together, and when we're not able to do that, we hit some practice balls in the front yard. He gives me pointers and tried to keep me from getting frustrated. Though I probably won't be anywhere near good enough to go join him on a golf course by the end of the summer, I'm anticipating that this is an activity we'll eventually be able to share.

 

[EJFan]

Soaking in our big jacuzzi-style tub. Not only do we get nice and clean...

i thought jacuzzi tubs were for getting nice and dirty.

 

[Tele2047]

Usually it's just talk and watch some movies, cuddling included of course so I dunno if that fits the bill, but cuddling usually happens with anything we do

 

[AppleBiter]

We talk

We play "The Question Game" where one of us asks a question and we both have to answer it honestly, and we go back and forth. That's led to some interesting conversation.

We watch TV/movies together.

We play video games, cards, Jenga, or hide-and-seek.

We cook together, which we found to be a unique bonding experience. Not sure why it works that way, but we feel closer when we've been cooking together. Weird, I know.

We sing (albeit horribly )

We shower together, sometimes w/super-soakers.

We put on our own version of Wrestlemania.

We put music on the stereo (usually funk) and dance around like idiots.

We thumb-wrestle.

Right now, we have no kids (and we've been married for 6 years), so we have a lot of "us" time on our hands to have fun and just enjoy each other's company, laughing and loving. I'm sure when we have kids, we'll have less time for such things, but I'm grateful that we have this time now.

 

[bisexplicit]

Hes one of those people who prefers quantity time to quality time, and I'm more the other way around.
But, we do get along quite well most of the time, hanging out and talking, watching tv, going for walks, snuggling, shopping (I make him. ), etc.
So, really, we do end up doing the quantity time thing a lot more than the quality time I suppose...*shrugs*

 

[Eilan]

i thought jacuzzi tubs were for getting nice and dirty.

That, too.

I also found some Adult Mad Libs (remember that game?) at Waldenbooks, and we've been having a really fun time creating the silliest, raunchiest "stories" we can think of.

We're all about cheap fun. Interpret that any way you want.

 

[karndav]

Dinner out so we can talk without the kids interrupting us, going to the movie, going for drives, taking the dog for a nightly walk together just to have some time together alone on a daily basis.

 

[shell seeker2]

We love watching a race together, sitting out on the patio when and talking, grilling out, working in the yard. We really do lots of things together and make it quality. Simple things like going grocery shopping. It works for us!

 

[SweetErika]

While in college and really poor, our friends started looking at everything they did together as a "date" from laundry to shopping. We kind of have too, but recently I've been thinking about it that way a lot more, because I agree that it's not what you do, but enjoying and making the most of time together. Some of the things I consider "quality" are:

-Taking showers just to talk, scrub eachother's bodies, and kind of take care of eachtoher

-Snuggling

-Sitting down and talking when he gets home from work and before bed

-Hiking, canoeing, fishing, walks in the snow, and taking drives (we did this A LOT in college)

-Golfing...lots of time to talk, laughter, and opportunites to encourage eachother

-Looking at houses, talking about and planning the future

-Teaching me how to drive his truck at night (it's been years, but we do it so infrequently that I have to re-learn everytime, and it always brings laughter)

-Grocery or other shopping

-Road trips

-We talk on the phone, email, and chat throughout the day. They're short, but quality encounters.

 

[Quoll]

Some of our best times have been when we worked together, we just do it well, whether it be fruit picking or just collecting firewood, we just mesh together so well, but we haven't done that in a long time, well not just the "two" of us.
Meeting each other down the street for a coffee, walking hand in hand.
As Eilan said when you have kids any time just for the two of you is precious.
We will watch TV together but I often fall asleep and snore, so I guess that is not real quality .
Dragging a mattress out into the lounge room and snuggling up in front of the fire after the kids are asleep.