Put your foot down! Only smutty shoes need apply!

[Silky_Thighs]

So, like millions of starry-eyed folks on the board, I too would be interested in editorial input.

The scene is free-flowing line of thought. As such I'm having trouble with paragraphing...and...all these ellipses...so sexy...as you say the word a shiver runs down my tingling back...each denoting a pause like a breath drawn in suddenly..but you secretly need, want, must have...my head on a platter for this attrocity.

It isn't this bad (or this cheezy). In fact you may just think it to be an incredibly hot read. But I'm thinking it still calls for some serious editing help.

There are also certain sections which reflect my specific way of thinking. I'm wondering if they ought to be dropped for more mass appeal, or to reduce confusion since they contain conflicting emotions. And lastly, I could use someone letting me know when enough's enough!

So, I bait you all with this (hopefully enjoyable) challenge, and hope to get some much appreciated bites!

 

[Silky_Thighs]

I forgot to add that the story is hetro, nothing too funky, a bit of a D/s thing going, and that while it isn't my first, it's one of the first that I've thought of publishing here. I figured, why not!

I'm looking for something a bit more nuts and bolty than simple proofreading, but I'm not planning a major overhaul.

I would prefer to pm the story, as opposed to posting it here.

 

[trick_or_treat]

I would be willing to edit your story. I have never edited anything here, but have edited other stuff through school. email me at trickortreat444@yahoo.ca