Put it in?

[winsum197070]

This is just for some Friday fun. Where or what's the oddest, funniest, surprisingly nice place you've put your penis in, fellas? And, for the ladies, what's the oddest, funniest, surprisingly nice thing you've put in your vagina? (It's a scientific survey, so science terms, right?)

Me? Couch cushions ... surprisingly tight.

 

[Soshameless11]

When I first discovered masturbation, I used a bottle. No, not for insertion. I lubed up and stuck my dick in it.

 

[kc_sweetNsour]

One time when i was horny and doing housework, I just used the broom handle.

 

[Soshameless11]

One time when i was horny and doing housework, I just used the broom handle.

Gotta do what ya gotta do.

 

[kc_sweetNsour]

I had to three times that day

 

[tnhardon]

This is just for some Friday fun. Where or what's the oddest, funniest, surprisingly nice place you've put your penis in, fellas? And, for the ladies, what's the oddest, funniest, surprisingly nice thing you've put in your vagina? (It's a scientific survey, so science terms, right?)

Me? Couch cushions ... surprisingly tight.

Parents had a whirlpool tub in their bathroom. Felt pretty amazing to stick my cock up to the jets as they blew. I’ve tried between mattress and couch cushions, but never really enjoyed it. Hard to find things that are really good to put it in.

 

[Soshameless11]

I had to three times that day

Wanna come clean my room?

 

[kc_sweetNsour]

Of course!

 

[Soshameless11]

Of course!

Home sweet home.

 

[wondering00]

I had to three times that day

If you need someone to check for splinters, I could take a look. I'm not a doctor, nut I've done a little carpentry work and recognize a splinter a mile away, but for you I will get closer.

 

[jehoram]

I once made an "ice vagina" out of some pieces of scrap aluminum tubing. One was the diameter of my dick, and the other was about three inches larger in diameter. I filled the space in between with water and let it freeze. Then I just ran a little hot water through the inner tube and melted the ice that held it in place so I could slide it out. Voila!

I told Athalia about it, and she used the concept (although not the actual construction) as part of a story on ice play.

https://www.literotica.com/s/ginnies-ice-play

I think that the "ice cock" she mentioned was an actual invention of hers. Unless, of course, some lady found an icicle the proper size and played with it.

 

[haventdonethat]

I think I posted these on other threads before but they seem to fit here.

A snug fit for me.
One of those times in bed I was tired and did not initially feel amorous, wife was lying beside me and started masturbating with a vibrator. I became hard when she inserted a second vibrator and started working them in and out. Her moaning plus the squishy sounds made me forget how tired I was. As she reached her plateau I moved on top and squeezed my cock in between the vibrators for a triple fuck. We both moaned loudly. With the snug fit, vibrations and sounds I only lasted a few strokes. She also came very quickly and so strong I was squeezed out.

And one of hers . . .

While out hiking on a local trail she picked up a branch lying in the path and used it as a walking stick. Later, we were resting, sitting on a rock at the side of the path when she started rubbing and scraping the stick on the rock, smoothing off the rough edges. She asked me to stand in the path and keep an eye out for people.
Her shorts were quite loose, easy to reach up a leg and pull her panties aside. She started to fuck herself with the stick. The end of it was large but she was so wet it entered her easily. Over eight inches disappeared into her cunt. Thrusting in and out at a fast pace, she didn’t last long before a very hard and long orgasm.
I have never seen a three foot dildo in use, before or since.
She had to tie her jacket around her waist for the remainder of the walk to hide the wet spot on her shorts. We fucked as soon as we were in the house. She was still sopping wet.
And no, I did not get any splinters.

 

[Afterhours22]

Honestly never tried to ..

stick my penis in anything other than a hot orifice belonging to another sexy human, but I did on several occasions stick things inside my penis. The first thing was a thermometer (yes I know that was dangerous) very carefully I might add and it slowly graduated up to a medical actual medical urethral sounds. I just love the feeling especially taking a vibrator to the end of the sound and wow does that make me cum quick! I love it when my partners are sucking my cock and intermittently slip a finger inside, depending on the size of my partner's finger. One very petite friend of mine was able to get her middle finger in all the way up past her second knuckle.

 

[Mtnmike]

When I first discovered masturbation, I used a bottle. No, not for insertion. I lubed up and stuck my dick in it.

I'm not being mean but where did you find a bottle that you fit in? I always thought I was under average so would occasionally see if I could fit, never found one as of yet though. O I'm assuming you're talking about the bottle top?

 

[Soshameless11]

I'm not being mean but where did you find a bottle that you fit in? I always thought I was under average so would occasionally see if I could fit, never found one as of yet though. O I'm assuming you're talking about the bottle top?

It was an old syrup bottle, had a wide mouth, and I was still growing lol

 

[THROBBS]

speaking of bottles...glassware...

 

[Islander55]

When I was a teen, I used to have a favorite hair brush with a plastic handle that worked quite well

 

[chame1eon]

I got some large glass test tubes from a garage sale that I kept beads in.

 

[Just4AFriend]

A few different places.. actually a LOT of places
Nothing felt as good as a woman
It just took a long time to finally try that

 

[Rockymtnman]

My freshman year in college we had a bet with the women’s rugby team that we’d win more matches than they would. If we didn’t, we had to do whatever they asked us to do and vice versa. We ended up winning several more matches.

Some one came up with the idea that a few us would fuck a watermelon then slice it up and they’d have to eat it. Childish but funny. So we bought the biggest watermelon we could find, drilled 4 holes in It then drew straws for the four holes. I lost. so I fucked a watermelon. Watermelon juice in your dick hole isn’t a pleasant experience.

We all finished, then we sliced it and they ate it.

I don’t believe they enjoyed it.

 

[ParkerSteve66]

My first mouth (blowjob). His mouth was so soft, compared to my hand. I was hooked on blowjobs from then on.

 

[jehoram]

I'm not being mean but where did you find a bottle that you fit in? I always thought I was under average so would occasionally see if I could fit, never found one as of yet though. O I'm assuming you're talking about the bottle top?

There was a beer (Micky's?) that came in a wide-mouth bottle. I've heard stories of them being used to masturbate with, but I've never tried it.

 

[Slut2Abuse]

Before I had sex toys it was anything phallic shaped. Hot dogs, kielbasa, broomstick, hair spray can- depended where I was. The best was probably this thick candle I had.

 

[Carnevil9]

There was a beer (Micky's?) that came in a wide-mouth bottle. I've heard stories of them being used to masturbate with, but I've never tried it.

Mickey's Big Mouth! I emptied a lot of those bottles back in my college days. Never got horny enough to fuck one, though.