Pussy mullet

[LukkyKnight]

Everybody who comes in here is looking for something, and 99% have scars and wounds and pain even when they don't let you see it. They need social contact they are not getting for one reason or another in other ways.

They see some amazing stuff here.

Some reach out, some lurk forever, standing on the outside, watching.

OK, not you, this isn't a good description of you, but look around at the rest of us a moment, please.

How do hurting, lonely, unsatisfied people find balance with others here? You read words that touch you, and it touches off thoughts.

Maybe, Wow, they know.

Maybe, Wow, they are so cool.

Maybe, Wow, they are sooo sexy - or popular - or witty - or whatever.

Then, maybe, you do some thread-like dialog, and send a few PMs, and there seems to be a sort of sympathetic vibration there.

But you're two people, with utterly different needs, and experiences, what are the odds you match up? What are the odds one of you is not a lot more needy than the other? More lonely? More scared? More confused?

There's no knowing, is there? You have to get out and dance, or the music will end, and you'll be right back where you started.

You got by for years without this new friend, and they did without you. How do you find the balance? How can you know the tempo is working for both? How can you know they want any more than to just post here and do IMs with a bunch of net-buddies? How do you know that today they're not just in a pissy mood and anything could set them off? How do you know if they want to be joked out of it or allowed to spit tacks? How do you know when to sympathize and when to say something about the other perspective - there's always another side, you know?

How do you know what I'm talking about?

 

[Juspar Emvan]

I think I know.

I've felt what you're talking about.

My current happiness - well after 18 months shared time here, we searched and couldn't find 10 times we had interacted on the boards. But we met as part of a group, no expectations. Right now I spend every waking moment thinking about, or talking to her.

And I wouldn't change it for the world.

 

[erosman]

You don't LK..

Did I tell you, that I saw a business's sign last week, that was: LK with a rainbow. I didn't have my camera with me, but I plan to go back and get a pic for you. LOL.

So, how did I know to jump in and tell you this LK? Hell, I don't know. I guess I just have less to lose than most.

 

[Guest]

 

[LukkyKnight]

It's a challenge, Luscious.

In due time the give and take is what determines a genuine, lasting relationship. From each according to ability, to each according to need - yet that which can be asked, or taken, easily and in quiet confidence after the relationship has taken hold and shown signs of persisting can just as easily smother a new bond, sending a fledgling companion fleeing in concern.

How do you find the balance?

How do you dare?

 

[Cheyenne]

Hmmmm... I came in here only to warn you to expect Demian to show up. He LOVES pussy mullets.

*still trying to figure out what the title has to do with the actual thread*

 

[LukkyKnight]

SOMEbody said it's a thread title you can't use here. I'm contrary like that sometimes.

 

[PepperminTrish]

SOMEbody said it's a thread title you can't use here. I'm contrary like that sometimes.

I'm glad that someone else asked about the thread title .......... it had me perplexed and I was too embarassed to ask.

I'd love to be able to give you some kind of reply to this post Lukky but my brain is muddled from lack of sleep and it doesn't look like I'll be getting some shut eye any time soon.

Trish

 

[Samuari]

Where ?

And I thought thast I was going to see some pussy! darn it. SPIT! It is one of the reasons that I come here.

The other is that over time, I have made a few good friends, a lot of great aquaintances, and a few old farts. Give it time, you will find those kindred spirits, and have a "growing closer".

 

[Monazwx]

Thought I would see a funny picture in this thread based on the title. However, I'm not disappointed. You've given me something to think about. Requires a good amount of thought.

 

[Saint Peter]

I thought a pussy mullet was a hairstyle downstairs for the ladies. Long in the back short in the front?

 

[LukkyKnight]

Thought I would see a funny picture in this thread based on the title. However, I'm not disappointed. You've given me something to think about. Requires a good amount of thought.

I'm always glad to think I've given others reason to think - though I like making them laugh, too.

 

[pipercatt]

Lukky, what makes you think that anything you just asked about meeting someone here or on the net at large is anything different than meeting someone in RL?

You meet someone from your office building/place of work/grocery store/library/church/neighborhood bar, and start talking and form a bond. What's to say that one person there isn't more needy than the other, or more lonely than other.

It's all just a big risk, isn't it? People lie online, and they lie about their needs in RL, too.

 

[woodgie2]

Bizarrely I know exactly what you mean. I met someone (as if you don't know who I'm talking about! ) and things just... clicked.

How do I know what she's feeling? If only I knew. But it seems to work so I'm not questioning it. I feel that if I do then I'll loose the ability.

That scares me.

 

[LukkyKnight]

Fair point, piper, but there's so much less to work with here. The communication is so very limited, even if you introduce phones and web-cams into it...

 

[erosman]

You know LK,

there are a lot less distractions, though, too. I like the speed of on-line. It tends to slow me down. I find it easier to listen, and easier to catch all that is said. The weight of words - without body language - helps to see the thinking more quickly.

Besides, in RL, the women just stare at my ass, and never listen to what I am saying.

It's nice to be heard

 

[pipercatt]

Fair point, piper, but there's so much less to work with here. The communication is so very limited, even if you introduce phones and web-cams into it...

I agree with you Lukky, but still. If things move on, and you come to the point where you want to meet in RL, you still don't know, do you?

Not unless you can find away to peel their brain like an onion.

Jeez, it sounds like I am in a morbid mood tonite, that's not it at all. It's just that some people choose to hide themselves regardless of how you met. Luckily, it's been my experience that more people are forthright on the net than probably thought of.

Everyone makes the choice, and everyone takes the risk. Or they don't.

 

[pipercatt]

Re: You know LK,

Besides, in RL, the women just stare at my ass, and never listen to what I am saying.

It's nice to be heard

With an AV like that Eros...er, um. What were you saying?

 

[LukkyKnight]

...some people choose to hide themselves regardless of how you met...

Everyone makes the choice, and everyone takes the risk. Or they don't.

Yep. Some spend longer thinking about the question, others dive in, a few are simply paralyzed and it all goes by before they get to find out what might have been.

It gets harder the more often you get burned.

 

[cybergirly]

I don't see much difference in meeting someone online vs. rl. Yes in rl you can see their body language, and you know instantly if your physically attracked to them. Online you get to know their personallity, you can tell much more quickly if you are attracked to their mind, its much easier to be completely honest with a computer monitor as opposed to someone standing right in front of you.
I think that both parties just have to be willing to have a "we'll see what happens attitude". Honesty is huge, and though you can't be sure the other person is telling you the truth, you can't in rl either.
And online you can always save your IM's, PM's or emails so when you catch them in a lie you have proof

girly

 

[pipercatt]

Yep. Some spend longer thinking about the question, others dive in, a few are simply paralyzed and it all goes by before they get to find out what might have been.

It gets harder the more often you get burned.

That's true enough, Lukky...very, very true.

 

[patient1]

I don't know much about cyber love/lust.

On the other hand, I have some great virtual friends.
I always used to say that the major function of a friend was to understand you as you are ( when you change jobs or residences some of your friends change as a result), and the internet serves well for "listening".

I feel blessed with friends just being here at LIT.

 

[erosman]

convergence and divergence. LK, I have finally started to frame my relationships with these descriptions. Maybe it's a little clinical, but I find it to be a perspective that helps me understand the heat...the heat that warms...and the heat that burns.

When I view my relationships as moments of convergence, I find it easier to hold them in an open palm. They can be quite hot, at times, but eventually time will cycle them to embers. Then, if the breeze of tomorrow rekindles the flame, I am doubly blessed.

Letting love float away like a butterfly on a diverging path, has been a transforming experience. I love the freshness of freedom's love. Sometimes, though, I do have to staple my hand open, lest my hungry zeal crush the beating heart of love's liberty. For me, the risk is not diving in, but letting go. It is a new path that seemingly draws me further into its mystery.




and piper, would you please look at my eyes when I am talking to you!

 

[LukkyKnight]

convergence and divergence.

Oh those two are the keys, yes. To live is to grow, to cease growing and changing is to die, or to at least begin to. Couples rarely thrive on neglect, love is not a feeling, it is a commitment. Love is committing to grow closer, not to let the paths diverge through inattention.

 

[MissTaken]

I don't know how to answer your queston, LK, other than as has already been done.

How do you find the balance in a real life meeting/friend/partner?

How do you know?

Lit fills a number of voids for me, but never completely. Who is to say there is a partner out there who could do so in real life?

I don't know.
I wish I did.
Good night for this thread, I just pm ed someone with the same thoughts.

It is funny, I have dived into relationships. I don't believe I am paralyzed by my fears, my walls, my experiences. However, there is one person who lurks in the back of my mind and I am wary, nervous, cautious about moving the correspondance up to the next step....even the phone is awe inspiring.

Hmmmm odd how one thinks.
Odder even how we make our choices.

And I am rambling, so I will move onto some silly ass thread with lots of flirting involved!

hugs LK