Puns

[bashfull]

Love puns...

 

[OxfordJack]

I used to run an origami supplies business.... sadly it folded

 

[bashfull]

I stayed up all night to see what the sunrise was like...then it dawned on me

 

[Sinstories]

Horse walks into a bar

Bartender: Why the long face?

 

[PlayfulLilDarlin]

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing, pal.

 

[Sinstories]

I named my online storage The Titanic. When I save a file I get a message that says The Titanic is syncing.

 

[Sinstories]

All chemists know that alcohol is always a solution

 

[Cymru9696]

If I said you have a beautiful body,
would you hold it against me?

 

[PlayfulLilDarlin]

This just in!
A fortune teller just escaped from prison! The fugitive is 3 feet 9 inches tall so be on the lookout for a small medium at large!

 

[Sinstories]

Biologists have recently produced immortal frogs by removing their vocal cords. They can't croak.

 

[---E---]

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.

(Couldn't find a manual - true story - car shopping last few days may be the 1st automatic I ever owned)

 

[AmberLGreen]

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS54KSjHJPLBxBEkUSdB0gJFDoUw2lfGFn4ZQ&usqp=CAU

 

[peterherring425]

I saw this bloke chatting-up a cheetah and I thought: ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.

 

[peterherring425]

I’ve decided to sell my Hoover – it was just collecting dust.

 

[Sinstories]

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

 

[Sinstories]

The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Time flies like an arrow...fruit flies like a banana...

 

[Sinstories]

It's no fun telling jokes to cattle; they've herd it all.

 

[bashfull]

Need to do a fundraiser for amputees...prosthetics cost an arm and a leg!

 

[peterherring425]

A football got bigger and bigger ..... then it hit me !

 

[peterherring425]

Crime in lifts.

Its wrong on so many levels

 

[peterherring425]

I threw out my old vacuum cleaner today...


It was just gathering dust.

 

[NastyNyx]

I knew a woman who owned a taser. Man was she stunning.

 

[AuralFix]

Why does Norway have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can scan da Navy in
.
.
.
.
.
I'll see myself out...

 

[DickandDoof]

Some of you will get this.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FLxX-OXWYAAS5sT?format=jpg&name=small

Nobody expects a Spanish Inquisition. Of course, now that I live in Spain I expect it more than most.