Punctuation Quickie

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

The girl has a country accent, and I am not sure how to punctuate. The girl is narrating.

Is it like this

Needin' to be quiet so she didn't find out about how much joy her body was bringing me.

or this

Needin to be quiet so she didn't find out about how much joy her body was bringing me.

 

[_Lynn_]

The girl has a country accent, and I am not sure how to punctuate. The girl is narrating.

Is it like this

Needin' to be quiet so she didn't find out about how much joy her body was bringing me.

or this

Needin to be quiet so she didn't find out about how much joy her body was bringing me.

I prefer the first choice for the word, though I don't know if there is a rule on it or not. Otherwise it looks like a typo.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Cormac McCarthy would have gone with "needin".

 

[bronzeage]

The girl has a country accent, and I am not sure how to punctuate. The girl is narrating.

Is it like this

Needin' to be quiet so she didn't find out about how much joy her body was bringing me.

or this

Needin to be quiet so she didn't find out about how much joy her body was bringing me.

Needin' to stay quiet so she don't know how much joy her body was bringin' me.

From what country is this girl?

 

[CWatson]

Technically, the first choice is correct. But because it's dialect, you can probably get away with the second. (I've seen Stephen King do it.)

 

[CopperSkink]

I have it on good authority that Stephen King was using a particularly picky editor on the novel in question who insisted that there be a lack of apostrophy when so modifying a word for the sake of a spoken accent.

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

Needin' to stay quiet so she don't know how much joy her body was bringin' me.

From what country is this girl?

southern USA

She is poor-just this side of white trash, Anglo, high school educated circa late 1950's, a waitress at a bar/restaurant and story protagonist. Small town, but she is raised outside of town on a small farm.

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

Forgot

Thanks to all of you who looked.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Alan Le May handled dialect better than anyone. He wrote dialogue in standard English and added a tag, like this "How's your oil?" Clem Kadiddlehopper's southern twang made it sound like 'how's ya'll.'

OR

Esperanza's mind meant 'Johnstown,' but her hispanic warble spoke 'Youngstown,' and so she flew to Youngstown, Ohio instead of Johnstown, Pennsylvania.

 

[Iftheshoefits]

I'm no editor, but as a reader I would prefer the apostrophe. Without it, I might be inclined to think that you were just too lazy to spell check.

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

Alan Le May handled dialect better than anyone. He wrote dialogue in standard English and added a tag, like this "How's your oil?" Clem Kadiddlehopper's southern twang made it sound like 'how's ya'll.'

OR

Esperanza's mind meant 'Johnstown,' but her hispanic warble spoke 'Youngstown,' and so she flew to Youngstown, Ohio instead of Johnstown, Pennsylvania.

Hispanic who is a recent immigrant might say.

“Miss, sorry, I ignorant, and no school, can’t read," she said in her halting English.

Your example uses mispronunciations. Others I've heard are substituting words, or reversing word order.

Esperanza said, "Turn the fire off." (Hispanic)

James answered, "No, put the fire out." (Anglo)

Maybe hand gestures would be a nice addition. I've seen individuals do so when they couldn't find the English/Spanish translation in their minds.

Ex.

Unable to find the correct word to describe the the location of the bakery, she pointed north toward the subway.

Hard to pull off effectively, but very fun.