pulling a train...

[butters]

for you writery types:

in less than 250 words, write a passenger on a tube train (underground), broken up between the headlines of

• name
• outward appearance
• inside information
• what they are thinking/doing

a voyeuristic snapshot that delves inside. the headlines don't count in your word tally.

one post = one passenger. could be interesting, especially here, on this board.

the idea comes from geof ryman's book 253, where he's written 252 pasengers plus the driver, separated out into 7 carriages and covering the course of a 7 minute journey on the london underground, dedicating 253 words to each person. given the characters here on the geebee, i think we have the makings of a fascinating commuter ride.

the intention is for purely fictional creations and not about this being used as a shit fest. i'm sure eeyore won't mind me taking liberties for the example - yanno, sice he couldn't pass up the opportunity to snipe.

oh, do what y'all like. you will anyway

 

[neci]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5kr--mN7n8

come on, butters. lets count some words.

 

[eyer]

for you writery types:

in less than 250 words, write a passenger on a tube train (underground), broken up between the headlines of

• outward appearance
• inside information
• what they are thinking/doing

a voyeuristic snapshot that delves inside. the headlines don't count in your word tally.

one post = one passenger. could be interesting, especially here, on this board.

the idea comes from geof ryman's book 253, where he's written 252 pasengers plus the driver, separated out into 7 carriages and covering the course of a 7 minute journey on the london underground, dedicating 253 words to each person. given the characters here on the geebee, i think we have the makings of a fascinating commuter ride.

Oh.

I was going to suggest you don't charge for pulling that train...

...elsewise, you'd probably get even less takers than you've garnered GB American Idol votes.

 

[dolf]

pulling a train

1.When a woman has sex with a series of men, one after another.
2. When a woman performs oral sex with one man while receiving doggie-style sex from another man.

 

[butters]

name Edgar Worsthley
(known as eeyore to his associates)

outward appearance
insignificantly morose and, despite the heat, wearing a grey tweed jacket and grey wool trousers that make him itch. nondescript, short hair and an attempt at designer stubble that doesn't quite work due to its wispy nature and insipid colouration.

insider information
single, lives on the 5th floor in a one bed flat and works in a municipal building dealing mostly with phone complaints. he rarely raises his voice for fear of losing his job and is developing an ulcer. spends all his spare time on the internet, seeking escape from his mundane life.

what he is thinking/doing
carefully thinking out his next ugly typed response to some mild-mannered type on a website because he needs to maximise the emotional hit for his personal high. he sits quite still, not making eye contact and breathing thinly.

 

[Garnate]

*Subscribey*

 

[eyer]

name Edgar Worsthley
(known as eeyore to his associates)

outward appearance
insignificantly morose and, despite the heat, wearing a grey tweed jacket and grey wool trousers that make him itch. nondescript, short hair and an attempt at designer stubble that doesn't quite work due to its wispy nature and insipid colouration.

insider information
single, lives on the 5th floor in a one bed flat and works in a municipal building dealing mostly with phone complaints. he rarely raises his voice for fear of losing his job and is developing an ulcer. spends all his spare time on the internet, seeking escape from his mundane life.

what he is thinking/doing
carefully thinking out his next ugly typed response to some mild-mannered type on a website because he needs to maximise the emotional hit for his personal high. he sits quite still, not making eye contact and breathing thinly.

Fiction and fantasy is definitely your niche.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Do me! Do me!

 

[Garnate]

Fiction and fantasy is definitely your niche.

So you AREN'T rocking an almost designer stubble?

 

[butters]

Do me! Do me!

no, it's not about that. others might take it there but it's not my normal way. write a character. it's short, it's easy. just do it.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

no, it's not about that. others might take it there but it's not my normal way. write a character. it's short, it's easy. just do it.

While you're at it, pass out Uzi's to the kindergarten class.

 

[Garnate]

name Garnetta Boobsby, aka Bloron (Blonde Moron)

outward appearance
Top heavy.

insider information
Jerkbag by day, hussy by night.

what he is thinking/doing
She sits awkwardly, uncomfortable around so many strangers and cringing at the realization that she is not a writer.

*Gun in mouth*

 

[Laurel]

*Subscribey*

ditto-esque

 

[butters]

name Marianne Finch

outward appearance
mid thirties, thick legs and beautiful hands. wearing sunglasses and a sundress, with new strappy sandals she can barely walk in but bought on impulse.

inside information
just had a phone call from the hospital confirming the test result as positive. called in sick to work (high street insurance brokers) and is taking a trip to the seaside so as not to have to deal with it right now. the seaside's where she can relax the most and it reminds her of a happy childhood.

what she's thinking/doing
looking through her phone at pictures of her pet dog she misses since he poisoned it last month, and wondering why she made such bad choices in partners. hopes no-one can see her red eyes through the dark glasses.

 

[parodyluvr75]

name Birdy Bath

outward appearance:
Feathers and nice talons. Looks good in a roasting pan.

insider information: Advocate for avian rights, practical joker and loves crackers.

what she is thinking/doing: Eyeing the attractive man next to her, has designs on his box of triscuits. She smiles at him, engaging him in conversation, edging ever closer to her prize.

 

[Garnate]

Giddit, birdie.

 

[RobDownSouth]

name Robert Downs

outward appearance
Early 50s, walking with a slight limp, his freshly shaven head glistening beneath the flourescent lighting overhead

inside information
He'd finally mended fences with his longtime antagonist Byron...and now Byron was dead. The authorities had deemed Byron's death "natural causes"...

what he's thinking/doing
Robert didn't often allow himself the luxury of second guessing himself, but in retrospect, showing Byron that Pornhub video of a seriously inebriated noor at the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity house had not been one of his better ideas....

 

[Laurel]

name Al

outward appearance
Mid 30s-mid 40s. Tall, lanky. Starfished across the seat, legs stretched out into the aisle, head clasped between long knobby-knuckled hands. Tousled dark brown hair, cloudy blue eyes doing a thousand yard stare over heads of the nervous family across from him.

insider information
There's an expensive engagement ring in his shirt pocket. In his jeans pocket, an iPhone vibrates repeatedly. The call originates from his best friend's bedroom, made from his girlfriend's phone. The train terminal stop is the bayside. There's a pier there over deep water.

what he is thinking/doing
His thoughts: her bent over the side of the bed, his friend's flesh pressed against hers. The image is indelible. He knows at the pier he will toss the ring into its depths. That's a given. But will he follow it?

 

[butters]

nice one, mz l

 

[dolf]

•name
brenda
•outward appearance
she's wearing a dangerously short, little black dress, with treacherously high heels and a designer handbag. her dark hair is carefully styled and her tanned legs are toned.
•inside information
there are too many regrets for her lost love, too many empty bottles in the trash, too many nameless strangers in her future.
•what they are thinking/doing
she smiles confidently at the attractive men who share her carriage.
she's thinking that tonight might be different. tonight might be special.

...I am no writer.

 

[RobDownSouth]

name Detective Sergeant Amos Moody, Badge#S78444

outward appearance
Three days overdue for a haircut, his pale green eyes are in constant movement, scanning the crowd out of habit...

inside information
He's rapidly risen to the top of his profession by watching and listening. His ability to quickly and accurately assess potential threats is uncanny.

what he's thinking/doing
He's idly half-listening to the chirpy couple in front of him have a playful argument about some sort of contest they want to have on a porn site they own. The hair on the back of his neck abruptly rises and he reflexively touches the service revolver in his waistband as he notices the guy behind them, a Native American from the looks of him, staring daggers at the couple with a burning hatred that he knows from experience is psychopathic....

 

[InternationalFunboy]

Name
Worthington Grey

Outward appearance
Age 32
6 feet 2 inches tall, 16 stone. Rough hands. Big feet.

Inside information
The nicely dressed young gentlemen stopped to check his pocket watch for the third time since the last stop. Was he running late? Or simply nervous? The nauseating rolling of the train car had put many of the other passengers to sleep. That was for the best I think. It grew darker outside and thunder rolled in the distance as we entered the tunnel and the light of day was replaced by a harsh flicker and hum. The jewel in his pocket was starting to make itself known to him, poor boy, he thinks he is the only person on this train who knows what's about to happen.

What they are thinking/doing
These poor sods, it's best they sleep. I'm the only person on this train who knows what's about to happen. Heh, I know fuck all really. Bloody pocketwatch, or whatever it is, doesn't even work. Four hands and no numbers.
He thought back to the last thing she said before he boarded the train, "Keep the parallax, don't toy with it. Open it when the time is right. You'll need to tune it. The jewel will tell you when and how. I love you."
Glynndah is a witch. Most blokes don't believe in such nonsense, but in truth I've seen some shit, mate. I've seen enough to label physics as more of a suggestion than a constant. So I laugh less and listen more when she gets in one of her moods. She saw something in my cafe macchiato this morning that told her that today was going to stray from normal...
The garnate in my front pocket is starting to hum. Where are we to go witch walking today? I have a feeling that someone on this train knows.

 

[marshalt]

Name: Aaron French

Outward appearance
Late 40's, taller than most, starting to get flabby around the middle. He wears his nametag and company polo shirt from his job at U-Haul

Inside information
Although his last name is French, he's actually of German descent.

What they are thinking/doing?
"Why was it called the Care Bear stare? They weren't "staring" at the bad guys, they were shooting light out of their stomachs. Their eyes weren't involved at all."

 

[RobDownSouth]

name Enos Bigglesworth

outward appearance
In dire need of both a shave and a haircut, wearing an ill-fitting MembersOnly jacket with two Navy Crosses pinned awkwardly over the right pocket.

inside information
He refers to himself as a "retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant", when in fact he never rose above Corporal in eleven years in the Corps...

what he's thinking/doing
He shuffles slowly through the car, jingling a red Solo cup. He mutters "Spare change for a Vietnam Vet?" occasionally, though his heart really isn't in it today.

"I can't believe Karen had a dick!" he sighs. "A DICK!"

 

[InternationalFunboy]

These are awesome everyone! What a great thread!