Prostitution: the job for you?

[3113]

Working on a story that involves a...paid escort...and I got to thinking about legalized prostitution and Heidi Fleiss' stud farm.

So now I'm curious: Assume prostitution is legalized. It's not some desperate, illicit activity where pimps are needed to protect the whores from being hurt by their johns, and/or get them out of jail. Instead, it's nice and clean, a real job complete with health insurance and retirement benefits. You can legally be a solo operator, or, to better protect yourself from crazies, be part of a brothel. You can advertise--you don't need to stand out on a street corner.

All the money you make is yours except what goes to the brothel (if you're part of one) and the tax man. You make your own hours, you decide what you will and will not do and with whom (i.e. male/female/other).

Given these conditions, what sort of person--male or female--would want to be a prostitute? Now before you answer, a couple of givens:

Yes, the money is good and someone who needs money might do it.
Yes, there's lots of sex and someone who likes lots of sex might do it.

We'll take those as givens.

But is there any other reason to go for this particular job? Afterall, the sex is not necessarily going to be reciprocal. You may have four clients in a day and they may all want oral sex--and whether you get any enjoyment out of it doesn't matter. They're paying you to give them what they want, their pleasure. So whatever gives them pleasure you have to provide. So even if you love sex, you may not get the sex you want.

Likewise, as this is a job, and we assume your primary job, you're going to have to do it even when you're not feeling like doing it--just like any other job. There's no whining that you're not in the mood. You have to do your best every time and with a smile on your face.

Would you do it? What sort of person could do it? What sort of mentality or emotional mindset would you have to have for prostituion to be the perfect job for you? A job that you would love and want as a "career" as much as anyone loves a job and wants it for a career?

I'd really like to hear from both men and women on this.

 

[S-Des]

I've often heard it said that many professionals (not the girls on the street being picked up by guys in cars) have clients who don't even ask for sex. They either want something kinky or a sympathetic ear. I doubt it would be a great job for someone who enjoys sex, despite the littany of erotic stories claiming it's fun. Sweaty, smelly, unattractive men who are paying because of a lack of options or low self-esteem aren't going to be much of a turn-on. I could be wrong, the Heidi Fleiss movie seemed to indicate that there is a level of clientel that would appeal to women looking for that thrill, but that would probably be a select few of the most attractive women (not so great for a woman told she's not pretty enough to rate the good clients).

I personally think we should have legalized prostitution, but doubt it will happen in my lifetime. What a woman (or a male escort) wants to do with her body, should be her business. I personally couldn't do it because I have too much of an emotional attachment to the women I've slept with. Even the ones that were bad for me.

 

[rgraham666]

Sorry. Deleting this.

It's too early in the morning for me to post to this sort of thread

 

[Liar]

People seems to be quite different about how much they invest emotionally in sex. Those that either are very love or lust driven in their sexuality might have a difficult time selling it for a living.

Then there are those that can have a casual romp with someone they flirt with in a bar, just for the fun of it. Or who have sex to barter for favors and status already. The difference seems to be that some need love (love of someone, or love of sex itself) to do it, while others only need no reason not to, and don't take the act so seriously.

Look at porn, for instance. It's sex. For money. But in front of cameras. And most of the time, it's just work, a chore the actors do to get paid. Those that can do that without getting emotionally stressed (which is sadly far from all in the industry) are probably the archetype of who would be a successful prostitute.

 

[neonlyte]

Paulo Coelho's - 'Eleven Minutes' is an interesting read about becoming a prostitute, and the reasons why. Based on the true story (and credited) of a prostitute who approached him with her manuscript while he was on pilgrimage to Lourdes.

I'm past the age where I could even begin to rationalise thoughts on this topic.

 

[Aurora Black]

Legal or not, I'd never be able to go through with it. I value myself too much for that.

 

[Recidiva]

I'd make a great prostitute.

I think it's what I'd be doing if it were legal and I were up to code.

 

[Pure]

I think you should read 'The Life' (La Derobade) by Cordelier.**

someone who 'likes lots of sex' would, imo, not make a very good pro. (just as someone who likes caring for people may not pass a nursing course or make a good nurse.)

the kind of mindset is called 'dissociative'.

---
What would it be like:
[A person who would find it] A job that one would love and want as a "career" as much as anyone loves a job and wants it for a career?

It would be, by analogy, like someone who loves being a proctologist: You do the job, you spend a lot of time on your yacht.
(you love the bucks, not the assholes.)
===
**
http://www.jeannecordelier.net

http://english.jeannecordelier.com/english.htm

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/us...y&WID=653974&TTL=the life&CNT=cordelier&Itm=1

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0380456095/102-1929602-1761727?s=books&v=glance&n=283155




I think you should ask each person answering, how much time they have spent talking to or in the company of prostitutes. For sociological research only, of course, in this case more than 500 hours.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

There was kind of an ugly term when I was younger, maybe it's still out there, "semi-pro." It referred to women who hung out is swank bars and operated somewhere between prostitution and promiscuity; the wanted some compensation, but chose who they would go with. That always did not seem unreasonable to me.

 

[Aurora Black]

From Basic Instinct:

Gus: What are you, a pro?
Catherine Trammell: No, I'm an amateur.

 

[R. Richard]

Of course, there is legalized prostitution in parts of Nevada. [The counties around Las Vegas and Reno do not allow legalized prostitution.] If a girl has reasonable appearance and is willing to try, she can hire on with a legal bordello and find out.

The girls who work the legalized bordellos mostly do so out of financial desperation. They have spent their way into a corner and there is no other reasonable way out. The job is stigmatized, even in the places where it is legal. For instance, the girls who work in a bordello are not allowed out unescorted in the towns near where they work.

The upper level bordellos are actually rather nice places. They are clean and well decorated. The clientel is mostly upper class men. Most of the clients are men who can and do get sex outside the bordello. However, there comes a time when a man is not willing to jump through all of the hoops that the typical woman insists upon before she will have sex. Thus, the man goes to the bordello where he knows he is going to "score."

Most regular businesses will not tolerate would be customers who are drunk, abusive, really smelly, etc. Most bordellos will not tolerate the same range of clients.

Let us suppose that you are a lady in sales. Would you want most of your clients for personal friends? [Probably not!] Do you act as if you want your clients for personal friends? [Only if you want to make a living.] Why should it be any different for a bordello worker? If you do not have days when you have to drag yourself to work, you are very unusual. Why should it be any different for a bordello worker?

There are porn stars who work the bordellos, although it is infrequent. The porn stars get paid unbelievable amounts of money to have sex with clients. I suspect that the act of having sex with a famous porn star is a real turn on for a lot of men.

Would the average woman make a good bordello worker? Probably not! The good bordello worker has to convince the customer that she is really excited to be doing her job. It is difficult for the average woman to live a lie of that depth.

Let me point out, however, the reaction of actually working whores to the then impending marriage of Princess Di with the wimp. "Great! A steady john who could support a girl for the rest of her life!"

 

[AchtungNight]

I think that a person would have to be really in touch with emotion- their own and others'- to be good at such a job. They would also need a thick skin and a high level of tolerance. Not for pain, for other things. Pretty Woman is probably the best movie I've seen that realistically depicts the profession. Then again, I've only really gotten involved with one prostitute in my entire life- so I don't know.

On legality, I'm all for it. Provided safe sex is in play, and they keep it interesting. Also, there should be laws applying to it like any other form of sex. No still means no, it just now prompts a refund.

 

[TheEarl]

I'd be, and in fact am, really tempted by the Stud Farm thing. I've been thinking about why to myself, for a couple of minutes now and have come to the conclusion that it's a self-esteem thing. I have never been chased for sex and am rarely chased for a relationship. It's always been me making the moves, me risking the knock-backs, me who flatters and seduces. It would be very nice to spend some time in a place where I could be actively desired, where women come to desire men, rather than to be chased.

I'd be hugely flattered by the idea that someone would actively want me sexually, let alone that they'd pay for it. I know I'm reasonably pretty, I'm told I'm reasonably adept and I've got the accent working for me. I think I could make it work, on a short-term basis.

The Earl

 

[Aurora Black]

I found the Stud Farm offensive. I felt that the men were portrayed as pieces of meat.

 

[TheEarl]

I found the Stud Farm offensive. I felt that the men were portrayed as pieces of meat.

I think, in its place, that there's nothing wrong with that.

The Earl

 

[Aurora Black]

I think, in its place, that there's nothing wrong with that.

The Earl

Please clarify?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Some great books:

The Sacred Prostitute
Women of the Light

Here's a DVD:
Magdalene Unveiled

There is a difference between a sacred prostitute and a profane one. In ancient times, there were temples, and the sex that happened there was sacred. There have always been sacred prostitutes. Suzanne, Beatrice, Mary Magdalene... we have seen her face. Even the virgin Mary and the black madonna... sacred prostitutes, all.

It was the black madonna that inspired Goethe to write the line in Faust: "the eternally feminine elevates us to herself." It isn't the divine element IN woman...it's the divine element AS woman... human, flesh and blood woman... man connects to the divine *through* her and she worships him *as* the divine. This was always the sacred way of the prostitute...

when it is sacred, the prostitute represents the dark side of feminine sexuality... she embodies eros... we cut Lilith (and hence, She) out of the picture.... in the Christian mythology, there is the duality of father/son, and the son is closest to humanity ("no one cometh unto the Father, but by me") and we simply excised mother/daughter ... BUT no one cometh unto the "Mother" but by SHE... and "she" has been relegated to the shadows...

So the bacchanalian dance of the sacred prostitute that connected the body and the spirit, has morphed and been replaced by the lap dance.

But it can STILL be a sacred dance. I would be a sacred prostitute in a heartbeat. But I don't know that I could do the profane.

 

[FallingToFly]

In a different life, I could have done it easily.

In this one... I have too much to lose.

 

[McKenna]

Would you do it? What sort of person could do it? What sort of mentality or emotional mindset would you have to have for prostituion to be the perfect job for you? A job that you would love and want as a "career" as much as anyone loves a job and wants it for a career?

I'd really like to hear from both men and women on this.

I would not do it unless I felt there were absolutely no other options available to me, and even then, I'd have to think long and hard about it. I would much rather be a "kept woman" or a courtesan, or even a geisha. I could see myself doing one or the other of those, honestly. It's still prostitution, it's just on a different level, and emotions are likely to be involved --which is what I would need to be sexually active with a man.

I've been exploring in my mind what sort of person would make generic prostitution a career. I think there are several types of prostitutes. I think for some it is an attractive career because it requires no secondary education, all the equipment (for the most part) is already available naturally, and if you're really good, you'd only have to work a few hours each day. I imagine it would also require little thought once one got down the basics of how to act aroused even when she/he is not, and how to arouse a partner or fulfill that partner's needs.

Another mindset I think would be attracted to this kind of career are those who derive some kind of power trip from being attractive to men or women. It would be like a constant ego stroke, and I imagine that would get addictive. Sex is about a power exchange anyway, and I imagine the prostitute would have his or her needs fulfilled on more than the monetary level.

These are just a couple of ideas; I'm sure there are more, but I've rambled on long enough already.

 

[McKenna]

There is a difference between a sacred prostitute and a profane one. In ancient times, there were temples, and the sex that happened there was sacred. There have always been sacred prostitutes. Suzanne, Beatrice, Mary Magdalene... we have seen her face. Even the virgin Mary and the black madonna... sacred prostitutes, all.

It was the black madonna that inspired Goethe to write the line in Faust: "the eternally feminine elevates us to herself." It isn't the divine element IN woman...it's the divine element AS woman... human, flesh and blood woman... man connects to the divine *through* her and she worships him *as* the divine. This was always the sacred way of the prostitute...

when it is sacred, the prostitute represents the dark side of feminine sexuality... she embodies eros... we cut Lilith (and hence, She) out of the picture.... in the Christian mythology, there is the duality of father/son, and the son is closest to humanity ("no one cometh unto the Father, but by me") and we simply excised mother/daughter ... BUT no one cometh unto the "Mother" but by SHE... and "she" has been relegated to the shadows...

So the bacchanalian dance of the sacred prostitute that connected the body and the spirit, has morphed and been replaced by the lap dance.

But it can STILL be a sacred dance. I would be a sacred prostitute in a heartbeat. But I don't know that I could do the profane.

Oooh, I like this Selena! Very interesting thoughts here.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Oooh, I like this Selena! Very interesting thoughts here.

Hey someone noticed me, again!



Thanks, McKenna... it's a topic that's always interested me...

 

[Aurora Black]

Hey someone noticed me, again!

You're always noticed, silly.

 

[Recidiva]

Hey someone noticed me, again!



Thanks, McKenna... it's a topic that's always interested me...

*notices Selena all the time*

 

[3113]

I'd be hugely flattered by the idea that someone would actively want me sexually, let alone that they'd pay for it. I know I'm reasonably pretty, I'm told I'm reasonably adept and I've got the accent working for me. I think I could make it work, on a short-term basis.

That's an intreguing point. You and McKenna seem to be thinking along the same lines there, that the person taking the money actually has a lot of power. They are the granters of a wish, rather like a genie. They appear to be serving the one holding the bottle, but it is they who have the real power, the magic.

And, granted, in some cases it can change a person's life. Like the stories of virgins who go to legal prostitutes to lose their virginity, or women who want to try sex with women, etc. Certainly there is that element in prostitution of helping someone get past sexual problem or to experiment, etc. The protitute is the sexual expert, a teacher/master rather than servant.

 

[Recidiva]

That's an intreguing point. You and McKenna seem to be thinking along the same lines there, that the person taking the money actually has a lot of power. They are the granters of a wish, rather like a genie. They appear to be serving the one holding the bottle, but it is they who have the real power, the magic.

And, granted, in some cases it can change a person's life. Like the stories of virgins who go to legal prostitutes to lose their virginity, or women who want to try sex with women, etc. Certainly there is that element in prostitution of helping someone get past sexual problem or to experiment, etc. The protitute is the sexual expert, a teacher/master rather than servant.

I think of it as being a good cook. Some people are good at cooking, love doing it, and love the pleasure others get from eating their food.

It's a talent, to be able to detect or understand someone's needs, fulfil them, and leave someone leave the metaphoric sexual table fulfilled and sated.