Project idea: Fast Times at Northern Miami Vocational

[Fizzbangboom]

This is an idea that just hit me the other night as a possible diversion from working on my screenplay. It's silly, funny, and hopefully erotic and hot as the molten money shot blasted from Vulcan's cockstick!
I originally was thinking of working it on my own, but then thought it would be fun to get other's involved.

Two actual points to this post.
1) to put the basic ideas and thoughts out there to see what other people think
2) try to recruit 1 or two others to help with fleshing it out and getting it ready to post for the first time

The idea:
Where do the hot girls with loose morals and low standards go after highschool? Project idea: Fast Times at Northern Miami Junior Vocational. With majors like Glamour and Fashion, Modeling, Cosmetology, Acting and so forth. These are the girls that slept with the football/basketball/etc teams, the galmour girl sluts that we (ok, all the straight guys) remember so fondly. You know who I'm talking about. The girl's that you can look back now and think, "yeah... she was destined to be a stripper." God bless 'em, huh?
The story is about the lives and times of the girls, and the guys smart enough to go and work there too, at NMJV. What I'm thinking is 6 - 8 female student characters and 4 - 5 male students and not sure how many staff/teachers (both male and female). I'd like to have at least the female students defined.

Should someone want to help out... please shoot me a message and we'll get on it. I admit there are a few that I'd like to work with, but not going to call anyone out by name.

***Koffjake***koffimhotepkoff***koffjuiblex***torqkoffkoff***koffamalgamkoff***

and yes... I can be a smart ass indeed!

 

[24ward]

Hi. First, I think it's a really smart idea to start a forum topic to flesh out some details before starting a story, particularly if you are looking for lots of different writers contributing. So kudos.

Second, I think it's a great premise for a story. Sounds really promising. It's similar to a popular theme at CHYOO, slutty adventures at college. But you also differentiated it from all the other stories already out there.

I also like the detail you are putting into some of the background of the story. For me, I like anchoring a story in a certain place, i.e. Miami, as opposed to just jumping in with "It's college! Who do you fuck?" I set my stories in named but fictional locales...

I'd like some thought not only to the characters but to possible narratives... what do we see happening in the story? Whose POV do we take? Is there any potential conflicts between characters?

Finally, I know you've had some thread-rejection issues. The best thing to do is dive in and make your own story that you control. So glad you're taking the initiative. Best of luck.

 

[Fizzbangboom]

Hi, nicatameetcha and thanks. Alien Alterations has actually been posted! w00t!

On that note... I really dont know wtf is going on I suppose. I came out as writer, editor and all that and still got rejected! So I have to assume that someone didn't like the initial edition of the story. But it's there now and hope that all will enjoy and join in.

Well for me personally I think this story lne would be more of a light hearted affair, I was planning on dropping itto the satire/humor section, so with that in mind I dont know about serious conflict. Certainly not life and death sort of thing. I dont wnat to see rape, scat beatiality and so others that personally I think are repulsive. That can be discussed between the group that takes this on... I hope.

I personally tend to write in 3rd person, past tense. Maybe it's from what I perfer to read myself, historical fiction (have to put this out there... W.E.B. Griffin is amazing!), so that's what I go for when writing myself.

I do want to see more to thier lives than just humping, but how and what I haven't figured out yet.

 

[24ward]

Shameless plugs and other important matters...

Hi, nicatameetcha and thanks. Alien Alterations has actually been posted! w00t!

On that note... I really dont know wtf is going on I suppose. I came out as writer, editor and all that and still got rejected! So I have to assume that someone didn't like the initial edition of the story. But it's there now and hope that all will enjoy and join in.

I had "White Slavery on the Dark Continent" rejected the first time I posted it: apparently it wasn't a strong enough introductory chapter because I didn't identify any characters. That irritated me, to be honest, given there are quite a few "anything-and-everything" stories on CHYOO that take 10 threads or more to establish the main character (Gender? Age? Race? etc) so I thought giving me two threads to establish four sets of characters was reasonable. But I waited a few weeks, took a slightly different tack, and lo and behold, approval. Different moderators may have different standards.

Well for me personally I think this story lne would be more of a light hearted affair, I was planning on dropping itto the satire/humor section, so with that in mind I dont know about serious conflict. Certainly not life and death sort of thing. I dont wnat to see rape, scat beatiality and so others that personally I think are repulsive. That can be discussed between the group that takes this on... I hope.

Sorry, I didn't mean conflict like combat, but issues to resolve. Basically plot. That sounds fun. "Illegal Alien" is supposed to be in the same style; it's a little cheeky and has received positive feedback, but I'm kind of writer's blocking right now.

I personally tend to write in 3rd person, past tense. Maybe it's from what I perfer to read myself, historical fiction (have to put this out there... W.E.B. Griffin is amazing!), so that's what I go for when writing myself.

Works for me. As editor, I suggest you mercilessly enforce your POV.

I do want to see more to thier lives than just humping, but how and what I haven't figured out yet.

Well, you've got a good start. When I come up with an idea, I see a vision of what's happening in the story that inspires me to come up with the rest. So I guess I'm wondering if there was a hypothetical thread you saw develop. Do the girls have different personalities or opinions or are they interchangable? What are their fantasies? What happens in the course of an average day? What's a good day? What's a bad day?

 

[amalgam]

What the hell? What do you want my help for? Are you crazy?

You know, I really believe that you can't judge a book by its cover. From what you describe, we're talking about bimbos, here. I think it's important that the characters are not clones, and at the same time, I highly recommend that you try more interesting characters than mere clones of our stereotypes of such "bimbos." I'm thinking that every character should have something particularly unique and/or unexpected.

 

[Fizzbangboom]

What the hell? What do you want my help for? Are you crazy?

cuz I dig yer "An MC Adventure" (am a fan of some MC myself) and thought your other threads were well done to. that and most anyone that's into sci-fi is ok in my book.

 

[Fizzbangboom]

PS- in ref to the bimbo's comment...

Sure, I see a couple of the sterotypical bimbo breed being involved... but that shouldn't be the only type of female character. There's a multitude of choices I think.
Am going to try to make a list of some, both male and female characters and post them here in a bit.

 

[amalgam]

Yah, why don't you start us off with something? I kinda need some guidance here.

 

[Zingiber]

Daffodil Scarlett McCloud

As Daffy waited for her appointment with the placement counselor, Miss Pell, she fidgeted. All the magazines seemed to be glamor, or gossip, or decorating. Not a copy of Road & Track or Stock Car within a mile, she grumped. Her eyes crossed trying to read a travel mag, so she closed her eyes and thought back on a few weeks before, when her mother had twisted her arm to get her here.

"Mom," Daffy whined, "I don't WANT to go to Northern Miami Vocational. I'm not that kind of girl. That's where all the b..."

"Daffodil Scarlett McCloud, that's quite enough!," her mother said. "You're not learning anything useful or sensible at Sawgrass Community College, and you are NOT going to work at your uncle's garage."

"But it pays good," she complained.

"Not another word, or we go back and see the judge," her mother warned.

Daffy pouted. She'd finished her community service, but her probation terms required her to be working or going to school. And absolutely not to be driving a car.

And since she couldn't finagle her way out of it, here she was.

She rolled up the magazine and mumbled sulkily, "...tie me down and paint my eyelashes and put me in ankle-breaker heels..."

"Miss McCloud," a soft voice called. Daffy looked up. "I'm Sandra Pell." She held out a hand, and Daffy reached out to shake it. Miss Pell had a warm, gentle grip. Her smooth fingernails caressed Daffy's wrist. "Charmed," she said. "Won't you come in, sugar, so we can get to know each other?"

Daffy blinked. Miss Pell was a nice looking blonde of maybe thirty wearing a clingy silk pullover and a lambswool sweater, but she talked like Daffy's grandmother inviting her in for pie.

Daffy sweated through the next forty minutes. Miss Pell, in her cane-syrupy voice, quizzed her on her aptitudes, skills, and extracurricular activities, even her wardrobe.

"Well, dear thing," Miss Pell said. "We all have to start somewhere. We'll start you out as a general pre-major."

Daffy looked at Miss Pell's suggested course list. Deportment, Elocution, and Basic Fashion? Her heart sank. She'd heard there was an acting major here. Maybe she could get on Stage Crew and at least get to do something with her hands.

Miss Pell wrote something on a slip from a pre-printed pad on her desk. She signed it, tore it off, and gave it to Daffy.

"What's this, Miss Pell?" Daffy asked.

"It's a prescription. Take it to Bakker Hall to get it filled."

"A prescription?" Daffy said. "For what?"

"For a makeover, dear one," Miss Pell said. "You have just enough time to get it done today, or you can do it first thing tomorrow."

Take the plunge, visit the dorms, or go looking for kindred souls?​

 

[amalgam]

Wow, that was great, Zingiber! And that's quite a name, I must say. I had to go back to remind myself why her name was "Daffy."

 

[Fizzbangboom]

Outstanding!

I'm going to work up something here in a bit and then cut & paste this is as long as you dont mind?

 

[Zingiber]

Outstanding!

I'm going to work up something here in a bit and then cut & paste this is as long as you dont mind?

I'd appreciate being able to submit it as a thread, if you're not too much in a hurry. (If you post the story number, I can get to it before it's "approved").

If you want to edit it to better fit your ideas, you could do that and paste it on top of my submission.

-Z

 

[Fizzbangboom]

If you want to edit it to better fit your ideas, you could do that and paste it on top of my submission.
-Z

Well there I go blasting off half cocked... ok, I have posted it but it's pending approval before being open to the public. what I'll do is just delete it once it's approved or if you want to send me your edit I'll paste that in. Sorry about that.

-FBB

 

[Fizzbangboom]

introduction

here's what I posted to start thing off.
Honestly, I think it's a bit weak. Anyone wanna re-write? Or is it good to go?

Welcome to Northern Miami Junior Vocational Institute!

That’s what the banner said as it gently wavered to and fro in the breeze as students milled about the campus just a few days before classes began for the summer session.

The incoming freshmen were easy to pick out, doe eyed like they were staring into on coming headlights… then again there were a lot of upper classmen that looked pretty much the same way. There’d been a helluva party over at the Tappa Kegga Bru frat the night before. Everyone that was anyone was there.

That most likely had more to do with it being the only fraternity on campus that anything else. But everyone had a good time, drinks where poured, laughs were laughed, sex was… well the let’s just say that some stains never come out. By and large a pretty good party.

The staffers were everywhere too. All with smiles, especially the professors, both male and female alike, welcoming both the returning student bodies and the incoming freshmen. Even the students on probation seemed to be in good spirits.

Life is good in Miami, if you don’t mind the occasional hurricane. The sun is almost always shining blessing the campus with warm weather through out the year. Tanned bodies… tanned scantily clad bodies… all over. Life indeed is good.

People seemed to come in from every direction, milling about as both student and staff alike found their room assignments for the coming term. A few of the new students, like Daffodil Scarlett McCloud, Tina and Gina Lester, Alan Archer and others, found directions to the placement counselors, returned students, Hannah Blessing and Cleo Harp for example, registered for classes and then went off to find their dorm assignments and hoping for a view of the pool. Or at least a close enough walk to it.



The adventure of life on the NMJVI campus began…

Where to now?! The Dorms? Resgistration? Counselors' Office? Someplace Else?

 

[24ward]

I like your tone: it's breezy but desciptive.

There's something missing in the introduction: the description of what makes this school unusual. Are all the students women? Are most of them? And the bit about how it's only offers fluff topics.

The other thing that strikes me is the enormity of the story. Usually we experience a story through a protaganist, but you haven't identified one. Your tag line says: "Where to now?" But without a protaganist, what happens at the location?

So I suggest you include some more information on the NMJVI. For the tag, I suggest you offer characters to follow as protaganist... for example,
- a freshman (freshgirl?)
- the boys of Tappa Kegga Bru
- new professor
- a popular senior

You could then subdistinguish each of these, for example, different genders, different personalities. In this way you can quickly establish 16 different characters through which to build the NMJVI world. Like "Four Women of Gondor". Or "White Slavery on the Dark Continent" (PLUG!).

 

[Zingiber]

Well there I go blasting off half cocked... ok, I have posted it but it's pending approval before being open to the public. what I'll do is just delete it once it's approved or if you want to send me your edit I'll paste that in. Sorry about that.

-FBB

It's more a matter that if you post my contribution, it appears under your name, and you get the feedback for it, it doesn't show up in my thread list, I don't show up as a story co-author, etc.

Ah well, fait accompli. Guess I just need to add some more threads.

-Z

 

[amalgam]

I Usually we experience a story through a protaganist, but you haven't identified one. Your tag line says: "Where to now?" But without a protaganist, what happens at the location?

I agree. I just went through the whole chyoo and the paths feel so disconnected from the intro, especially Zingiber's thread.

 

[Fizzbangboom]

cast

thanks for the input and I'll ahve to see what I can do to pull it all together a bit more.

In the mean time here's what I've put together with for a 'cast' of the story. Comments please. Of course this will be open to addition:

Daffodil Scarlett McLeod - incoming Freshman (pending Z to fill out)

Tina and Gina Lester - incoming Freshmen - Identical twins, just turned 18 last week. Both are 5 feet tall even and 120 pounds... and most of that being in the form of thier 38D racks! Long jet black hair frames thier beautiful faces accented by dark eyes (Tina has blue and Gina has green and that's the only way to tell one from the other) and full, pouty lips. Both have relied on others, the school geeks, to take care of thier school work in the past. they carefully selected thier classes in the past to ensure that they always had male teachers. The SAT being the first test in years they weren't able to tag team the instructor to get a passing grade. Party girls of the first order, they list Paris Hilton and Jenna Jameson as people they'd most want to be like.

Alan Archer - He's 22 and just out of the Army. Coming home 6 months ago he's found that there's not a lot of work oout there for someone with 4 years expierence packing parachutes. So off to school he goes, GI Bill at the ready. The play? A couple of years at the nearby Junior College, then on to a 'real' school for a real degree. Little does he know that he may never want to leave.

Stefani Williams - Junior - Tall (5'7") leggy red head with a great ass and willingness to use it. Majoring (this month) in Modeling with a minor in Cheerleading. She's the co-capitan with long time rival Hannah Blessing and her friend Cindy Neal of the cheerleading team. Her personal 'score card' reads like a who's who of capus staff, students and minor local celebrities. She's still looking for her sugar daddy...

Hannah Blessing - Junior - 5' 5" tall, tight body, 34B tits with nipples that could cut glass, great legs and an ass that stops traffic. Co-Capitan of the cheerleading squad with Stefani Williams, Hahhah (a.k.a. Happy) is majoring in Dance and Theatre. She *really* wants to be in the movies and has a "to do" list once she gets to L.A. The list of what she *hasn't* done to get a part in the schools productions is a LOT shorter than what she has done. Ended up as co-capitan due to a tie in some personal compiteition with Stefani and Cindy Neal.

Cindy Neal - (pending info from ward)

Cleo Harp - 5th year Senior - Thick, long dark black hair , 5'9", body like a porn star (think Jewel DeNyle here folks), and it's all paid for. Not by her, but paid none the less. Cleo will do her damnedest to out suck or fuck anyone to get what she wants, hwo she wants it, when she wants it from who she wants it. Fortuneately, what she usually wants involves fucking and sucking anyways so it all works out in the end. Co-ed dorm monitor, works at the strip club down the road from campus (the Lizard Lounge).

Miss Pell - Staff (pending Z to provide)

Miss Kristen Davis - Staff, Head Chearleading Coach (pending ward to fill out)

 

[Zingiber]

thanks for the input and I'll have to see what I can do to pull it all together a bit more.

In the mean time here's what I've put together with for a 'cast' of the story.

Daffodil Scarlett McLeod - incoming Freshman - 19, 5'5"/34B brunette. A spunky tomboy without much patience for "girl stuff", she's at NMJVI as a condition of her parole for aggravated joyriding. She used to work at her uncle's garage, and she hopes to find some course of study that will at least let her work with her hands. She'll do what she has to to get by at NMJVI, but mostly she'll be bored and looking for fun, maybe looking for fellow misfits like herself.

Fizz: you might fix my thread from "McCloud" to "McLeod" for consistency.

Miss Sandra Pell - Staff (Placement counselor, maybe other duties). 30, 5'8"/36C blonde, makeup, perfume, gold jewelry, manicured nails (not too long). Syrupy sweet voice and mannerisms (calls all students "dear thing", "sweetheart"). Dresses on the sexy side of professional, with clingy silk blouses, thin sweaters, and tight-across-the-butt slacks her standard wardrobe. As placement counselor, also acts as a potential "talent scout" for college clubs and activities (official or secret), prescribes makeovers for incoming women who need it, and arranges roommates. A student job as her assistant is a plum reward. Miss Pell is a graduate of NMJVI so it's hard to fool her, but her philosophy tends to be that if it doesn't cause public scandal, it's all right. Not that she'd admit that in public.

 

[Zingiber]

I agree. I just went through the whole chyoo and the paths feel so disconnected from the intro, especially Zingiber's thread.

It might be worth replacing my thread (changing the title and discarding the body) with a more generic jumping off point for following new students, maybe a few threads' worth. That would also allow me to re-submit in my own name.

Maybe something like:

New students...

• Dorms...
• Placement Counselor... (brief thread describing Miss Pell preparing for an appt.?)
  • Daffodil Scarlett McLeod

Though maybe I mixed things up a bit by submitting a thread before there was an introduction to tie it to!

-Z

 

[Fizzbangboom]

*bangs head on desk repeatedly*

Z, I am sorry I jumped the gun like I did.

Hrmmm... ok... apperantly the stupid gene is in high gear today cuz I'll be damned if I can figure out how to delete the Daffy thread. there's nothing to check or what ever...

thought it might be because I was using Firefox, but IE shows the same. hrmmm....

 

[Zingiber]

*bangs head on desk repeatedly*

Z, I am sorry I jumped the gun like I did.

Hrmmm... ok... apperantly the stupid gene is in high gear today cuz I'll be damned if I can figure out how to delete the Daffy thread. there's nothing to check or what ever...

thought it might be because I was using Firefox, but IE shows the same. hrmmm....

No, no, don't hurt yourself! You aren't having any trouble anyone else isn't having. As far as I know, there is no way to delete a thread once approved/accepted.

What you can do is change its title, its textual story content, and its followup question by editing. So the Daffy thread could become a thread about anything else instead.

-Z

 

[24ward]

It might be worth replacing my thread (changing the title and discarding the body) with a more generic jumping off point for following new students, maybe a few threads' worth. That would also allow me to re-submit in my own name.

Maybe something like:

New students...

• Dorms...
• Placement Counselor... (brief thread describing Miss Pell preparing for an appt.?)
  • Daffodil Scarlett McLeod

Though maybe I mixed things up a bit by submitting a thread before there was an introduction to tie it to!

-Z

Yeah, I think you'll have more success if you can show a logical progression from introduction of story to introduction of characters.

Regarding the cast, I just used "Cindy Neal" pretty much at random; you can edit my thread to identify the head cheerleader as one of your characters. I don't mind.

 

[Fizzbangboom]

ok, plan for today is to get in and redo the thread as more of an intro for Miss Pell.

Barring any complications form the vicodin induced haze I'll try and get that done soonest.

I'm looking forward to seeing new additions soon.

FBB

 

[Fizzbangboom]

ok, plan for today is to get in and redo the thread as more of an intro for Miss Pell.

Barring any complications form the vicodin induced haze I'll try and get that done soonest.

I'm looking forward to seeing new additions soon.

FBB

Edit complete. hope you enjoy.