problems with my first time, help!

[rawhide83]

ok i hooked up with my first serious gf a month ago, and last week we had sex for the first time. We were making out and i went down on her, and the whole time i had an erection, until she went downstairs to get a condom. I rolled it on and found out that it was too soft to insert into her. I eventually got it hard enough and it only lasted about 2 minutes and it went soft again. This really worrys me, i am a 19 year old male and i shouldnt be impotent. Is this common? also is there anything that i can do about it? ive been trying to figure this out, and i did find that it is harder for me to keep an erection when im laying stomach down, like the missonary position. but i would hate to have to tell her that she would have to be on top every time. Any tips or suggestions?

 

[ChainedEros]

I think it may be fairly common for newly sexually active men like yourself. Even I may temporarily lose my erection when fumbling with a condom.

We men have one-track minds. It's hard to focus on one thing and do something else.

Don't worry. Just find a way to get the condom on quickly and with as few distractions as possible. After a while it won't be a big deal.

 

[diorama]

i had this exact same problem with my first girlfriend and my first time, and i'm pretty sure it was to do with anxiety and anticipation of something i'd never done before. the question 'when are we going to do it?' very easily becomes an issue in the back of the mind without you even noticing, and that's not something you should be thinking about at the time...and i hadn't known her very long, and kind of felt like she was hurrying me into it. so with my second girlfriend we just waited much longer, about 6 months in fact, until i was ready, and by then it was much less of a mental block type thing. and everything was ok...

 

[ESH419]

To lazy to cut out the actual quote but you said that you put the condom on. Therein is part of the problem.

It's a lot more fun when she puts it on. She can give ya a few licks, tickle and tease, and generally toy with your toy pretty easily. I've always found the women i've been with like tease. Everyone knows what's coming. All the bits and pieces are ready. They're just getting more ready.

 

[rawhide83]

thanks a lot, yea it probably had to do with being nervous. When my erection went away, i really panicked and that didnt help at all. Im pretty sure shes ok with this though, she told me not to worry about it, and reminded me that it was my first time and ill get better.

 

[SkyyAngel]

Ha yes don't worry it ALWAYS gets better. And I seriously doubt it bugged her or anything. I know it wouldn't bother me...although a lot of men seem to think differently.

 

[Rubber Biscuit]

Exactly. Anxiety can be a hardon killer, even if you don't know you're anxious. You want to please her, put on a good show, make a good first impression, etc. When I got with my second gf for the first time, I failed miserably getting a hardon that lasted long enough to work. So we lay there talking about nothing for 15 minutes or so, softly touching each other, not even sexually, when out of the blue Mr Happy popped up again, and I rolled on top and everything fit together wonderfully. She asked, "What happened?" I said, "I don't know." And we both smiled and fucked our little brains out.

 

[sheath]

thanks a lot, yea it probably had to do with being nervous. When my erection went away, i really panicked and that didnt help at all. Im pretty sure shes ok with this though, she told me not to worry about it, and reminded me that it was my first time and ill get better.

Then she's quite a mature woman. She knows what she is talking about...and you WILL get better.

I like what Rubber Biscuit had to say. Good reassurance, there.

S.

 

[rawhide83]

SUCESS!
we got together a few days ago and everything went fine. she went down on me, after i went down on her of coarse, and after that i was ready. A half hour later we wore out and fell asleep thanks for the reasurrence.

 

[ThaAnswer]

See man, all is better when you relax.

Of course, I have no frame of reference here, being a virgin myself...and I know the same is gonna happen to me, I just know it. Ach well, I can deal with that at the time.

I know your problem seems to be dealt with now, but a friend of mine used to get his girl to masturbate and talk dirty while he put the condom on, that way, he would stay aroused watching and listening to her, allowing him to slide the rubber on, and then he was ready to go.

 

[SexyGiggles]

i did find that it is harder for me to keep an erection when im laying stomach down, like the missonary position. but i would hate to have to tell her that she would have to be on top every time. Any tips or suggestions?

If you're still having troubles staying up, have her be on top...being on top requires too much thinking when all your blood is running elsewhere...

 

[mrxa]

don't sweat it same thing happened to me, the second time i had sex it was a similar experiance as the first but the third time *in my car, i lasted nearly 40mins, and still didn't cum. By the fourth time i still was going strong and I finally came after 35mins of hard but enjoyable work . If your gf isn't opposed to the idea get the super thin condoms.

 

[Easy Boy]

Not at all unusual

I think many men have occasional episodes of impotence. If there isn't a physical reason, there's a mental/emotional one. It your case it was clearly your nervousness. Your gf's accepting attitude got you past that, so you know you don't have a physical problem. It helps immensely to be able to enjoy being naked together whether you've got an erection or not. Takes the pressure off. In cases where impotence persists, there may be something else going on. I evenutally learned to recognize importence as my body's way of telling me that I probably shouldn't have sex with that person. Or so I told myself.

 

[sweet T]

Keep practicing Before you pick her up on your next date, jack off before you see her, it may help ease your anxieties