problems getting hard

[Youkikun]

I've been having some trouble.

I just started sleeping with one of my friends and she gets my dick hard whenever we fool around or make out on the couch. But when it comes down to fucking her, my dick seems to enjoy torturing my by refusing to get hard. She's gotten me hard MANY times, but all times when I can't fuck her. But when I get her alone and we're going to do it, even a blowjob can't get me hard until I'm just about to cum.

that leads to the other problem, if she gets me hard by sucking me, I'm so close to cumming I maybe fuck her for 10 seconds before I lose it.

I feel horrible about this and that I can't fuck her like she wants to. Does anybody know whats wrong? Or maybe some advice?

 

[SensualCealy]

speaking from experience, the very first time hubby and I were trying to have sex, he couldnt get hard no matter what I tried with him, ( didnt do the bj, I wanted him to think I wasnt that kind of girl! lol) ended up that he was scared he would get me pregnant using condoms. So I went on the pill and he stayed hard as a rock to get the job done.

Maybe deep down you are nervously thinking the same. Just a thought, could be you are scared you wont meet her expectations?

Hope that helps.
Cealy

 

[Hotred911]

I was thinking along the same line as Cealy. Maybe it's something that you're not even thinking about, or possibly don't want to think about. Since she was a friend before the two of you started on the sexual path, it could be possible you're afraid of hurting the friendship if things go wrong. I don't know what to suggest, other than to try and relax more, and to talk to her. Knowing where she wants the relationship to go, whether it be dating or just fuck buddies, might help. Good luck, and I hope you find something that works.

 

[Bobmi357]

Nervousness from any source can be a real erection spoiler. At some level you are still uncomfortable with the situation you're in. I would suggest sitting down and really talking to your friend, explain that you don't really understand why you're having problems getting an erection since you have no problems getting one thinking about her, or when you're alone. I would also suggest you try enlisting her assistance on this.

I don't know the circumstances under which you're trying to perform, but you could try changing where you do it, how you do it etc... vary your routine.. and whatever you do, make your friend understand this is NOT really a reflection on her.

Finally, you call her your friend, and this might be the root of your problem. Perhaps at one level you would like to take the relationship to more than just being friends that fuck... think about it.

 

[ninja squirrel]

Three things I've found can interfere a lot:

1. Fear/Nervousness
2. Stress
3. Fatigue

Source of the feeling doesn't really matter, if it's on your mind, it can cause problems. I also find that the feeling of wearing a condom bothers me, and if I am wearing one without continual stimulation, I tend to get soft.

 

[Youkikun]

she uses a birth control patch thingy... so I'm not worried about getting her pregnant and we don't use condoms.

Part of me DOES wish we could have more of a relationship... but her life is confusing enough as it is, so yea...

usually when we try to fuck, what we do is...

get naked, I finger her for awhile, she sucks my dick with hte plan of fucking her once I get hard from the bj... but it just doesn't seem to work. I've gotten hard plenty of times, but those are instances where others could walk in at any time *kitchen, living room, etc*

I'm not thinking of anything while we're doing this, I'm pretty sure.

I guess... I'm a little nervous to impress her and I want to fuck her as soon as possible... in fear that she might get bored and want to stop. I guess maybe that's my problem... but I don't know how to deal with that.

next time, I'm going to ask her to try doing somethings that would turn me on. I think watching her finger herself would do the trick... I hope so...

 

[ninja squirrel]

You said that she can get you hard enough to start with a blowjob, right? But then you can't last long? Rather than going right into from a blowjob, get things started very slowly, basically get yoruself inside her and make out with her, not much actual humping till you calm down a bit. I've used this technique on days when I was stressed and it was tough to get into the mood.

 

[Youkikun]

sometimes yes, i'm hard when she starts the blowjob

when we're trying to fuck, she'll suck my dick when its soft... but it stays that way until just before I cum

ONE time I actually was hard enough to get in her... but it was after I had to stop her blowjob cause I almost came... than once I was in her, she started riding me hard... so yea... next time i get it in her... I'll wait awhile to calm down

thanks for the advice ^_^