Pretty please, play with me.

[WickedEve]

Now that I've got you in here, let's play a poetry game!
I'll write a stanza, and then someone else adds the next stanza, and so on...
Let's make it 5 stanzas long. Hopefully, a different poet for each stanza.

In the softness of the moon,
wrapped in ribbons of hair,
he loved her all too soon.

 

[KatPurrs]

Now that I've got you in here, let's play a poetry game!
I'll write a stanza, and then someone else adds the next stanza, and so on...
Let's make it 5 stanzas long. Hopefully, a different poet for each stanza.

In the softness of the moon,
wrapped in ribbons of hair,
he loved her all too soon.

Oh Eve, that's so pretty, it should stand alone.

 

[WickedEve]

Kat, is that a nice way of saying it sucks and no one is going to touch it with a 10 foot keyboard? lol
If you don't play with me, I'll just have to play with myself!

 

[KatPurrs]

A girl after my heart. I'll join you until someone comes in...
I love mutual masturbation!

 

[Sweetwife]

KatPurrs purrs:

A girl after my heart. I'll join you until someone comes in...I love mutual masturbation!

Can I join....can I, can I??

Sweetwife

 

[WickedEve]

Girls, girls! Spread your legs and fan those things off! My goodness... You're both going to over-heat!

 

[REDWAVE]

I'll play with you

I'll play with you, Eve, if you'll play with me.
Here's my stanza:

He thought to find
the essence of exquisite
which he had lost
long before
and feared
would never return again

 

[WickedEve]

So Far...

In the softness of the moon,
wrapped in ribbons of hair,
he loved her all too soon.

He thought to find
the essence of exquisite
which he had lost
long before
and feared
would never return again

 

[Sweetwood]

more

So far

In the softness of the moon,
wrapped in ribbons of hair,
he loved her all too soon.

He thought to find
the essence of exquisite
which he had lost
long before
and feared
would never return again

more

Yet, with her sanguine touch
she tuned him taught
until the white softness of his flesh
sang under the bow of light

 

[Lauren Hynde]

In the softness of the moon,
wrapped in ribbons of hair,
he loved her all too soon.

He thought to find
the essence of exquisite
which he had lost
long before
and feared
would never return again

Yet, with her sanguine touch
she tuned him taught
until the white softness of his flesh
sang under the bow of light

The mournful morning breeze
witnessed the tender
bellicose
. . . . . . . tender scene
and the single tear
washing off his fright.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Sorry about that, I'm on story mode tonight... left all my poetic inspiration screwed up...

 

[The Poets]

Anyone else want to add to this poem? If you all want, we can submit it under the name The Poets and list our names underneath. But before we do, anyone want to edit it?

Eve

 

[Lauren Hynde]

That idea is great, Eve!

I can't edit to save my life, but anyone else, feel free to do so. Please!

(It was 5 stanzas, right? Someone else should end it...)

 

[WickedEve]

Kat, Judo, kdog! Any of the poets out there want to join in?
Red or sweet, one of you guys want to edit? I cannot and will not do it! lol You may want to work on my stanza. I don't want to suck up the rest of the poem. I mean, I don't mind sucking... just not when it comes to writing.

 

[karmadog]

And when Dawn peeked over
the horizon, she found him rapt
in visions of a ribboned lover.

 

[WickedEve]

Below is are the 5 stanzas. Sweetwood, Red, someone want to polish it? I would, but I only polish apples.

In the softness of the moon,
wrapped in ribbons of hair,
he loved her all too soon.

He thought to find
the essence of exquisite
which he had lost
long before
and feared
would never return again

Yet, with her sanguine touch
she tuned him taught
until the white softness of his flesh
sang under the bow of light

The mournful morning breeze
witnessed the tender
bellicose
. . . . . . . tender scene
and the single tear
washing off his fright.

And when Dawn peeked over
the horizon, she found him rapt
in visions of a ribboned lover.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

OK, lose the layout on my stanza, it doesn't play well with the others, and I don't want to play with myself today:



In the softness of the moon,
wrapped in ribbons of hair,
he loved her all too soon.

He thought to find
the essence of exquisite
which he had lost
long before
and feared
would never return again

Yet, with her sanguine touch
she tuned him taught
until the white softness of his flesh
sang under the bow of light

The mournful morning breeze
witnessed the tender
bellicose
tender scene
and the single tear
washing off his fright.

And when Dawn peeked over
the horizon, she found him rapt
in visions of a ribboned lover.

 

[JUDO]

OK, lose the layout on my stanza, it doesn't play well with the others, and I don't want to play with myself today:



In the softness of the moon,
wrapped in ribbons of hair,
he loved her all too soon.

He thought to find
the essence of exquisite
which he had lost
long before
and feared
would never return again

Yet, with her sanguine touch
she tuned him taught
until the white softness of his flesh
sang under the bow of light

The mournful morning breeze
witnessed the tender
bellicose
tender scene
and the single tear
washing off his fright.

And when Dawn peeked over
the horizon, she found him rapt
in visions of a ribboned lover.

Can we edit the middle stanza a bit?

-------

Yet, with her sanguine might
she tuned him taught
until his pale flesh quite hot
sang under the bow of light

-------

I think in this way, it acts as a turning point that more reflects the outer (first and last) stanzas. And the rhythm and rhyme becomes more
palindromic. No?

----

Also, Lauren, you have two "tenders." Can we make the belligerant scene "gentle" and "tender?"

The mournful morning breeze
witnessed the gentle
bellicose
tender scene
and the single tear
washing off his fright.

-------

Would "rapt" in the final stanza be better
served as "wrapped?" I say this because the
author used the preposition "in" after it. Easy to be "wrapped in" or "rapt with," but not rapt in. No?

-------
And I add a possible title:
-------

So, the final might look like:

------------------------------

For the Love of Luna's Light

In the softness of the moon,
wrapped in ribbons of hair,
he loved her all too soon.

He thought to find
the essence of exquisite
which he had lost
long before
and feared
would never return again

Yet, with her sanguine might,
she tuned him taught
until his pale flesh, quite hot
sang under cool bow of light.

The mournful morning breeze
witnessed the gentle
bellicose
tender scene
and the single tear
washing off his fright.

And when Dawn peeked over
the horizon, she found him wrapped
in visions of a ribboned lover.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I like it!

A poem written by 6! http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/band.gif http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/band.gif

Just one question, wtf is palindromic?

 

[WickedEve]

Tonight, I'll submit For the Love of Luna's Light. It will be submitted under the name The Poets and all 6 names will be listed. Let me know if you guys want anymore changes!

Eve

 

[REDWAVE]

Taught/taut

In the middle stanza, shouldn't "taught" be "taut"?

 

[WickedEve]

I'm sure it's suppose to be taut. Sweetwood, let me know for sure.
RedEagleEye, see any more boo boos?
Lauren, like the band. lol

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Thank you Eve. I look at them and hear them singing:

"Back door, back to back door, baby
Gimme back door, gimme back door"

 

[JUDO]

I like it! Just one question, wtf is palindromic?

Sorry, I thought about that after I posted and wondered if it would be a problem. Palindromes are interesting little phrase puzzles that are spelled the same way forwards as backwards.

EXAMPLE: Able was I ere I saw Elba.

So, in our poem structure we have five stanzas, the first and the last are three lines with an ABA rhyming scheme. The second and fourth do not rhyme, but have five lines each with the third and fourth lines being the shortest of the five. So, I restructured the middle one to have an ABBA rhyming scheme since it already had four lines. As a result, the middle stanza sort've turns around on itslef to lead to the end, a "palindrome" like structure, or "palindromic."

D'accord?

- Judo

PS - And RW is absolutely correct, it should be taut...doh!

 

[JUDO]

Thank you Eve. I look at them and hear them singing:

"Back door, back to back door, baby
Gimme back door, gimme back door"

Ha! A hit! Maybe Lenny Kravitz would like something nasty...

- Judo